Four pounds of lard gone.
It's time for a pedicure, isn't it MamaHen?
Let's get down to brass tacks.
If you do not have a weight problem, or don't plan on having one in the future, you can skip this and wait for pictures of a chicken in a diaper and Aaron's recipe review later today....
I've tried to break this up in little bites so it's not so tiring on your eyes.
Warning - I'm really rambling here.
Getting to the heart of the matter.
That is what I am doing.
Let me explain, if I can.
When I began this very public journey, I was all about counting calories, burning calories, no sugar, skim milk and egg whites.
Has it been a month now? I think so.
Today I'm all about loving myself, enjoying the food that God has so graciously provided and being healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I hope I can manage to put this in words that will convey my heart.
Leanness Lifestyle (still what I consider the best)
These are just a few of the diets I've tried numerous times.
Oh, they all worked.
For a while.
About five days ago, as I was giving the cats the yolks of my wonderful eggs, and only eating the whites, I mused to myself:
"Jaym, what's gonna make this time different? What's gonna make this time 'stick'?
I replied to myself "oh, it's my sheer will, baby. I can't fail, I'm 'out there' on the blog. I gotta do this, AGAIN.
Truth of the matter, I've not been very happy since starting this. I've been rather angst filled. I've been rather 'ticked off' at times as I climb the stairs to the workout room, cause I 'have to'.
I remember standing in the kitchen watching the cats lap up the yolks, while I ate the whites. It was so early, it was still dark. I was alone. I didn't feel too much hope to tell you the truth. I felt weary. I felt like 'here we go again'. If you've tried losing weight at all, you know that the first week, you are all gung-ho and it's almost fun, and then reality sets in.
"You've got to get to the heart of this matter, Jayme"
That is what I thought to myself.
This is strictly my opinion, but I'm beginning to believe, in the utmost core of my being, that someone is not extremely overweight just because of bad habits, or eating egg yolks. I don't believe people go to the extreme of weight loss surgery, only to gain it back, only have bad habits or need to 'move more'. I truly believe there is more to it. I also no longer believe that someone can realistically follow a 'program' the rest of their life.
Jenny Craig? Great. You WILL lose weight if you follow it.
You will lose weight cause the food is inedible!
Are you going to eat Jenny Craig food the rest of your life?
I'm seeing the weight loss industry as a temporary fix now.
I also believe so often out of desperation we think that 'throwing money' at the
problem will fix it. Perhaps we were trying to buy willpower.
Why are we all still so fat then?
It's the heart of the matter.
How often do you eat when you aren't hungry?
How often do you eat because 'it's lunch time' or 'dinner time'?
How often do you eat out of boredom, frustration, or some other emotion?
How often have you 'turned your brain off' and ate nearly an entire bag of chips?
Want to know why you overeat?
You'll soon find out.
Mine was out of anxiety.
Food calms me.
I liken my idea of 'dieting' (hate that word) without addressing the heart of the matter, to this:
A raging alcoholic will 'decide' to be a better husband, father and employee without ever addressing his addiction.
A gambling addict will set up a household budget and try to follow it without ever addressing the fact that he/she is addicted to gambling and will go to the boats every weekend.
I realized that I was hyper-focused on food, all the while feeling like I couldn't eat it.
Ok, Jayme, you have to control your food intake, so let's talk about food all day, plan it out, and dissect the calories/fat/proteins and carbs of said food.
Would you tell an alcoholic to think about whiskey all day, try coming up with some new drink recipes that didn't include any alcohol, but try and make it taste like it does?
We try to make the 'food behave' because we can't. We remove the fat, sugar, etc, and pump it full of chemicals to replace that, so we can eat more.
No wonder we aren't satisfied.
This is what I'm doing now, and time will only tell if it is the right thing.
I'm going to continue to post every Wednesday my weight, and weight loss thoughts. I won't be having a 'goal' weight for each week. My goal for the week is to only use food for what it was meant to be used for. To keep me alive! Not to soothe me, be my lover, or friend.
I'm only eating when I'm hungry. Physically, growly-bellied hunger.
I'm not ignoring hunger.
I'm just waiting for it.
Sometimes it means I don't eat lunch, or dinner. Every day is different.
Last night, I didn't eat dinner, because I never felt physically hungry.
Trust me, everything I've learned about nutrition, this goes against.
It's a mental struggle. I'm going to wrestle with it for while.
I eat what I want when I'm hungry.
I'm not using fat free, sugar free products any more.
I sweat everyday for at least a half an hour, or up to an hour.
Be it the Wii-Fit, or my elliptical, I work up a sweat.
I do some resistance training a few times a week. I do this cause I know it's good for you. I no longer do it cause I feel like I 'have to'. This summer the garden will be my exercise. I mow the grass with a 20" rotary mower. 1.5 acres of grass. Don't tell me that's not exercise!
When I feel hungry. I pause. I think. I'm conscious. I don't grab. Most often I choose healthy, life giving foods. Sometimes I don't.
I'm eating about half of what I normally ate before.
When eating slowly, and consciously, I realize that a half a sandwich is
usually more than enough.
Sounds easy doesn't it?
It's not easy when you have one bite of something left, but I stop.
I do not want to eat past the point of satisfied.
You know when I first started doing that, I felt fear. Fear that I would feel hungry. Is it bad to feel hungry?
I've realized that eating a home-cooked meal, in a peaceful house with people I love, is quite possibly one of the healthiest things I can do for myself.
Since adjusting my thoughts and my plan, I've been extremely happy, and carefree. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Tune in next week....God only knows what will happen by then!