Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wednesday Weigh-In

Four pounds of lard gone.

It's time for a pedicure, isn't it MamaHen?

Let's get down to brass tacks.

If you do not have a weight problem, or don't plan on having one in the future, you can skip this and wait for pictures of a chicken in a diaper and Aaron's recipe review later today....

I've tried to break this up in little bites so it's not so tiring on your eyes.
Warning - I'm really rambling here.

Getting to the heart of the matter.

Being conscious.

That is what I am doing.

Let me explain, if I can.

When I began this very public journey, I was all about counting calories, burning calories, no sugar, skim milk and egg whites.

Has it been a month now? I think so.

Today I'm all about loving myself, enjoying the food that God has so graciously provided and being healthy, physically, mentally and emotionally.

What changed?

I hope I can manage to put this in words that will convey my heart.

Jenny Craig
Weight Watchers
Leanness Lifestyle (still what I consider the best)

These are just a few of the diets I've tried numerous times.
Oh, they all worked.
For a while.

About five days ago, as I was giving the cats the yolks of my wonderful eggs, and only eating the whites, I mused to myself:

"Jaym, what's gonna make this time different? What's gonna make this time 'stick'?
I replied to myself "oh, it's my sheer will, baby. I can't fail, I'm 'out there' on the blog. I gotta do this, AGAIN.

Truth of the matter, I've not been very happy since starting this. I've been rather angst filled. I've been rather 'ticked off' at times as I climb the stairs to the workout room, cause I 'have to'.

I remember standing in the kitchen watching the cats lap up the yolks, while I ate the whites. It was so early, it was still dark. I was alone. I didn't feel too much hope to tell you the truth. I felt weary. I felt like 'here we go again'. If you've tried losing weight at all, you know that the first week, you are all gung-ho and it's almost fun, and then reality sets in.

"You've got to get to the heart of this matter, Jayme"

That is what I thought to myself.

This is strictly my opinion, but I'm beginning to believe, in the utmost core of my being, that someone is not extremely overweight just because of bad habits, or eating egg yolks. I don't believe people go to the extreme of weight loss surgery, only to gain it back, only have bad habits or need to 'move more'. I truly believe there is more to it. I also no longer believe that someone can realistically follow a 'program' the rest of their life.

Jenny Craig? Great. You WILL lose weight if you follow it.
You will lose weight cause the food is inedible!
Are you going to eat Jenny Craig food the rest of your life?

I'm seeing the weight loss industry as a temporary fix now.
I also believe so often out of desperation we think that 'throwing money' at the
problem will fix it. Perhaps we were trying to buy willpower.

Why are we all still so fat then?
It's the heart of the matter.

How often do you eat when you aren't hungry?
How often do you eat because 'it's lunch time' or 'dinner time'?
How often do you eat out of boredom, frustration, or some other emotion?
How often have you 'turned your brain off' and ate nearly an entire bag of chips?

Want to know why you overeat?
Stop overeating.

You'll soon find out.

Mine was out of anxiety.
Food calms me.

I liken my idea of 'dieting' (hate that word) without addressing the heart of the matter, to this:

A raging alcoholic will 'decide' to be a better husband, father and employee without ever addressing his addiction.

A gambling addict will set up a household budget and try to follow it without ever addressing the fact that he/she is addicted to gambling and will go to the boats every weekend.

I realized that I was hyper-focused on food, all the while feeling like I couldn't eat it.

Ok, Jayme, you have to control your food intake, so let's talk about food all day, plan it out, and dissect the calories/fat/proteins and carbs of said food.

Would you tell an alcoholic to think about whiskey all day, try coming up with some new drink recipes that didn't include any alcohol, but try and make it taste like it does?

We try to make the 'food behave' because we can't. We remove the fat, sugar, etc, and pump it full of chemicals to replace that, so we can eat more.

No wonder we aren't satisfied.

This is what I'm doing now, and time will only tell if it is the right thing.

I'm going to continue to post every Wednesday my weight, and weight loss thoughts. I won't be having a 'goal' weight for each week. My goal for the week is to only use food for what it was meant to be used for. To keep me alive! Not to soothe me, be my lover, or friend.

I'm only eating when I'm hungry. Physically, growly-bellied hunger.
I'm not ignoring hunger.
I'm just waiting for it.

Sometimes it means I don't eat lunch, or dinner. Every day is different.

Last night, I didn't eat dinner, because I never felt physically hungry.

Trust me, everything I've learned about nutrition, this goes against.
It's a mental struggle. I'm going to wrestle with it for while.

I eat what I want when I'm hungry.

I'm not using fat free, sugar free products any more.

I sweat everyday for at least a half an hour, or up to an hour.
Be it the Wii-Fit, or my elliptical, I work up a sweat.
I do some resistance training a few times a week. I do this cause I know it's good for you. I no longer do it cause I feel like I 'have to'. This summer the garden will be my exercise. I mow the grass with a 20" rotary mower. 1.5 acres of grass. Don't tell me that's not exercise!

When I feel hungry. I pause. I think. I'm conscious. I don't grab. Most often I choose healthy, life giving foods. Sometimes I don't.

I'm eating about half of what I normally ate before.

When eating slowly, and consciously, I realize that a half a sandwich is
usually more than enough.

I stop.
Sounds easy doesn't it?

It's not easy when you have one bite of something left, but I stop.

I do not want to eat past the point of satisfied.

You know when I first started doing that, I felt fear. Fear that I would feel hungry. Is it bad to feel hungry?

I've realized that eating a home-cooked meal, in a peaceful house with people I love, is quite possibly one of the healthiest things I can do for myself.

Since adjusting my thoughts and my plan, I've been extremely happy, and carefree. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Tune in next week....God only knows what will happen by then!


  1. oh Jayme this couldn't be said better by anyone. Years ago there was a book out called "It isn't what you are eating it is what is eating you". I have been through every single diet known to man and then some and always come back to the same thing, tomorrow I am going back on (fill in the blank)diet. I keep thinking I just want to eat good honest food that is to be enjoyed. Will this ever happen? Who knows but I keep trying all any of us can do. Good luck, you make us all want to be a better person. nancy

  2. Congrats! So proud of you!

    To answer your question- I did it on a website called

    It's way fun!

    Happy New Year!

  3. I'm so proud of you. You put it so well. Thanks for the encouragement...

  4. Great job, and well put. Congratulations on 4 more pounds down! -Tammy

  5. Awesome post Jayme!!! Makes me think about my sometimes unhealthy eating habits. You continue to inspire me and I might have to reread this post many many times...

  6. Great post Jayme. Hang in there, you're doing really well. The best part is when you start to fit into clothes that didn't fit before. I'm trying to loose a few kilos as well.
    Blessings Gail

  7. My dear, dear girl. That's been my complaint about WW. When I'm counting points all I can think about is food. I become obsessed. I discovered last fall that if I just eat when I'm hungry which for me is pretty regularly 3 meals and 1 or s snacks and make mostly reasonable choices. I could lose. Even without exercise. I'm getting back on track. You, my dear friend, inspire me in so many ways. And P.S? I would come camp out with you any time. I can't wait to meet you face to face one day soon.

  8. Love your might really enjoy a brand new book called "Live a Little, Breaking The Rules Wont Break Your Health" By Susan Love, M.D.

    She basically comes to the same conclusion as you do.....

    really nice blog...gald I found you...come by and say hello, Dianne

  9. Just read the too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, me too, get the idea? We have all done it year after year and diet after diet. You are onto something dear Jayme. God didn't make no bad food. He also didn't make Twinkies or Ding Dongs. We are doing it again...counting calories and watching Dr. Oz. This man is onto us dieters and he's got a plan that just could work. I love his Real Age books. Just the facts Ma'am!
    joycee at grannymountain

  10. Oh Jayme, you really called me on this did you know what I do all the time???????????????

    Just joking of course, but the gambling paragraph is not a is EXACTLY how it is. I watched my uncle gamble his life away, his family, and he told me once that no matter what you will never get your money back.

    Anyways, you should really consider writing a book, that is how good you are.

    Everything that you said hits so close to home it is not even funny.

    My grandmother always said eat to survive, don't eat to live, or she would say eat like the animals do...they just eat to survive so what you said reminded me so much of this.

    I have a feeling that you can do anything that you set your mind to.

    I know for me depression is a killer, and it goes for every aspect in my affects me in everything that I do.

    Good luck to you and I hope that you reach your goal and more.


    I have a google accuont but I can not remember it if my life depended on it.

  11. Good stuff, Jayme. Real good stuff.

  12. Sounds like a plan. You run with it. I think chasin the chickens might help too.

  13. You go girl! If I cut out my problem foods, I would have nothing left. Eating only when hungry, and only till satisfied is such a simple concept...and so hard to do sometimes. But it would allow us to be able to eat what we want reasonably, and still feel good about ourselves. It's the perfect plan.

  14. Wow. You make so much sense. I'm convinced that weight loss companies are in the business to succeed only if we fail. Well, we sure have been helping them get rich, huh? I sure like this new way of thinking you've shared with us. This sounds like a winning plan. I'm taking your advice to cook more from scratch, stay away from those fast food places and just enjoy my meals instead of mindlessly inhaling. I've noticed that I eat much slower and I'm full before my plate is empty. Continued blessings to you Jayme. I'm sure glad I read your blog everyday.

  15. Your honesty is so refreshing and I can relate to all that you write about weight. I watched my mother struggle for years and still goes to weight watchers because it has now become a social event for her. Your thoughts about obsessing over every calorie, every fat gram and comparing it to making and alcoholic focus on whiskey all day was a total light bulb moment for me! You write in such a way that makes me feel that we are friends. I am sure all here feel the same. Keep on keepin' it real!

  16. My grandmother always said eat to survive, "don't eat to live", or she would say eat like the animals do...they just eat to survive so what you said reminded me so much of this.

    "don't eat to live" should be don't live to just eat...sorry everyone.

    This is why I should proof read everything...Ughhhhh I am so emberassed....

    A very emberassed Mirjana.

  17. Yep, done the Jenny Craig and the Weight Watchers and the LA Weight Loss. Here's what happened. I cannot stand to eat anything connected with what they made me eat. And then it creeps back up, the weight. So I say eat what you want, but don't eat a lot of it. If I go around telling myself I can't have something, I would fight a rabid skunk to get it. It's psychology gone haywire! I just now had pizza. But I had one piece. (Well, that one was not typical, usually I have two at least.) But I know I need to lose weight. I'm just not willing to give my time to something I absolutely hate. And I hate exercise. I love to garden. I don't think of it as exercise when I'm digging shrubs out of the earth. So I shall do that. Life is short. When I'm dead and gone, I don't people to say, "Well, she sure never ate any more chocolate cake, did she? Bless her heart."

  18. Jayme,

    I think the key to achieving physical and emotional balance for me is moderation and walking. You are doing great.


  19. Wahoo! this sounds like a plan...a real honest to goodness do-able plan.
    You are one smart cookie, Jayme.
    Hugs to you dear one,

  20. I meant to write, when I'm dead and gone, I don't "want" people to say... This happens every time I get so excited about something I forget to proof it. And you got me excited about not dieting and not feeling guilty about it. And here I was a journalism major. Ah well, as I tell my grown girls: When you stop making mistakes, turn around and look because you're probably dead.

  21. Proud of you girl. I think you're getting it. I get it sometimes too. And sometimes not. It's a journey.

    I'm completely fed up with myself lately because nothing fits, so I decided I'd eat only when I'm hungry, and do my T-Tapp. Then I broke me old toe.

    Ayup. Life goes on....

  22. This is quite a road we walk. We start off walking with our head upright and whack our toes. So, we try walking with our face turned downward to avoid the rocks and smack into a tree. It's quite the look up, look around and watch your toes too kinda road, ain't?

    I am extremely blessed to have found a for-real kinda friend who's so willing to learn and grow and search for the BEST way God can use her!

    You're transparent sharing has given me an "ah ha" moment.

    I need to accept the way God made me. Accept the "gotta chase a rabbit-ness" in me! I just need to learn to listen to myself. "Am I really hungry? Really?" And next, "Now, am I full?".

    AH HAHHHH!!!!

  23. I am right there with ya, chickadee! I am officially 80 pounds over weight and I KNOW I have to deal with it now! But I am NOT giving in to another viscious cycle of weight loss mumbo-jumbo...tried them all and they all work...but it is such a brain drain! Gotta have something I can LIVE with..So, I too, will begin to make changes I can stick with...I will be all ears every week, I will need your help...

  24. Loved your post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I wholeheartedly agree. Diet is simply a four letter word most people loathe to talk about, because it is almost always associated with having to do something that we HATE!!! Our diet should be like our shower. We just eat every day to get our nutrition that we need to have energy and stay healthy. We know what our bodies are made up of,...we know what is "good" for them,. We know what is NOT good for them. So we should "DIET" accordingly. Diet should not be a VERB. It is a noun. It is simply what we eat. What out daily intake is for our "earthsuits" to thrive and carry on. :-) And we should be able to ENJOY this very daily habit. So...GO GIRL! And keep encouraging us. Exercise should be as daily as brushing our teeth. In any form. It works off whatever we don't need. My Fitness son tells me.... Thanks for inspiring us Jayme. Thanks for sharing. :-)

  25. This was an amazing post, exactly the thoughts that have been on my mind the past week or so. I need to lose 50-75 pounds and I've done WW (3 times), Jenny Craig, etc. I am so there with you...I cannot be on JC the rest of my life and when I did WW, all I thought about was how many points were in the food and thought about food all day long. I have decided to cut out the sugar and white flour. I just did a post about it. We can do this, we can do this, we can do this!! God gave us amazing things to eat, fresh fruit, fresh veggies, whole grains. No more processed junk. Let's help keep each other accountable. I would love for you to stop by.


  26. This really touched me. I can so, so, so relate to obsessing about food. I obsess about it when I'm not dieting and I obsess about it when I am dieting. Just a hampster on that darn wheel....

    I love what you said about just listening to your self. Instead of all the "don't's" of dieting and keeping track of every jot and drives me crazy!!!!! And then ALL of my focus is on food!! I absolutely despise dieting! It doesn't work!

    I was on Atkins for a while and did very well on it, felt great! But I can NOT live the rest of my life without bread!! Been on WW...I can't sit there and count everything for the rest of my life!! It is just not realistic.

    Sorry for all the exclamation points, I hate it when people over-use them, but I need to with this conversation!!

    Thank you for your transparency. I don't know you, but I love you. :o) Keep sharing, I need to hear it.

  27. Jayme,
    You are a riot, and I love Helen. I found your blog by checking Tiffanys comments about her Q & A on her diet. I am also trying to loose weight. I'm trying Tiffanys way, I lost 45 lbs on Weight Watchers but dumbly gained it all back. Come by and visit me.

  28. Well, all that is true, but.....

    what about the new generation of obese and overweight children? They don't have to wrestle with 'grownup' anxiety, or use food to soothe, etc...

    IT'S SOMETHING BIGGER THAN US! In today's CBS new, I believe it was CBS, they did a short report on the obesity problem, how it has grown in just the last few years. They mentioned something interesting. Something to the effect that the government has greatly subsidized corn producers, to the point that everything in our diet contains the dreaded 'fructose corn syrup'(as an example) and how the government gave 0-nada, zilch, to the vegetable and produce growers, which would have made those foods more affordable. So in essence, we eat the cheaper, more affordable 'bad' foods, because that's what we can afford. Perhaps if veggies and fresh produce were more affordable, more people would have a more balanced diet. Did I make sense? And then to top it off, they cropped off exercise time in the school curriculums....hence, obese children. kinda makes you think and wonder if the powers that be knew that all along. So now we have a thriving weight loss industry, health care costs are through the roof (who benefits from that?) and the list goes on and on....

  29. Hi Jayme. Congrats on the 4 pounds lost. I understand where you are at. I started a healthier eating plan in May and have lost 30pounds so far. I keep a food diary and try to keep to 1400 calories a day, with 45 minutes of walking every day. It takes a while to adjust your lifestyle, but once you have lost about 25 pounds and gone down a size, you know you can continue. I need to lose about 30 more pounds, so my journey is only half over. Just found your blog so I'll keep checking in.

  30. Jayme, you are doing great! With that said....can we have the onion ring recipe? Love you, Terry

  31. Greetings from cold and freezing Norway!! Stumbled upon your blog upon recommendation of Miss Snappy Finger (The Blue Ridge Gal). I think the thing that makes a great blog is when the blog author can blog about things we ALL talk about but do it in such an entertaining way and my dear you are most entertaining...I'm not sure the chicken diaper thing is such a common thing..but hey, we all have our quirks, I'm not saying fact, I want a chicken too...I'd like to have several...and maybe a sheep....or two...a little pot bellied pig to match my pot belly...hahahaha..just kidding bout that..
    I was on Scandinavia's Biggest Loser show and lost almost 60lbs in 6 months- amazing- I was...but it's all back and my big butt it out there trying to do it all AGAIN...but I have come to the same realization as you..I can't do this again unless I can do this for my entire life and if you tell me I'm not eating another piece of cake or anything good the rest of my life...then forget it...I'd rather die young and happy then old and unhappy...So I'm trying to be thoughtful about what I put in my mouth, how much, and then moving as much as I can...even though the the original thought of starting to move is a tough one..once I'm going I actually enjoy it...don't tell anyone ok?
    I'll so be back to visit again..give Helen a hug from us in Norway!!

  32. Wow - that really does come to the point. I completely agree with you about the underlying cause of overweight. Sounds like your on a wonderful journey!

  33. You are a ROCK STAR with you weight loss. I am truly very proud of you. You shared some very important words today. Thanks!

  34. Good for you for getting down to brass tacks and tackling the heart of the matter!
    Much love,

  35. I LOVED this post...and since I run a coffee shop, and bake ALL the time, I feel ya!
    Keep up the great work, I am proud of you!

  36. Thanks for sharing information. I’ve written and shared my thoughts around this on my blog.


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