Thursday, January 12, 2012


We are supposed to get nine inches of glorious snow today.
I'm having breakfast with a dear friend and marketing guru.
We are going to talk about bring Spring Chicken Serum to the masses.
After that - I'm coming home to hunker in my chair with Acai Berry tea and answer emails.
I'll watch the snow fall from my western window.
I can think of nothing that will give me greater pleasure!
Hot tea, snow, quilts and cats - and a clean inbox.

In case I computer myself out today and don't blog for a few days - I wanted to tell you - the burger remains the same.  It's harder - but there are no signs of mold or spoilage.
The scariest part to me is that there is absolutely no odor.
No odor. 
It doesn't smell like anything.

Today's post is about worry.
I don't do it anymore.
I gave it up in December of 2010.

I made up the acronym:

W hen
O bstacles
R eally
R uffle
Y ou

I was a champion worrier - and in fact, one of my very first blog posts were written about how much I worry.

I felt like being a worrier was being a responsible adult.
I worried about money, the lack of it, the health of my loved ones, what I'd make for supper, what I'd eat for supper, what I'd wear.
Are the chickens cold?  What if the bees don't overwinter?  What if Aaron grows up to be a bum?  What if Glen dies before me?  What if I get cancer?
What if I never find the right fabric for those curtains I want?
Who's going to take care of us when we are old?

You get the idea.

I realized that I was spending all of today's energy on tomorrow's fears.
And strangely enough - those fears never really materialized.
What pushed me over the edge worrying was when Aaron - a straight A home school student went to high school and nearly flunked out.
I was on his school web account numerous times a day.
Emailing his teachers.
Sending Aaron messages about missing assignments.
Talking to Aaron everyday -
"I see you are missing three Algebra assignments - make sure you catch up on them".
I was driving myself insane as well as him!

On December 2, 2010 - I was physically sick with worry.
Doubled over - I'm being honest.
I felt completely out of control.
I put my foot down and decided to never worry again.

I realized that if I were truly minding my own danged business - I'd have precious little to actually worry about.

For three months I fought thoughts on a minute by minute basis.
I imagined a bouncer being at the door of my brain - he was a big beefy fellow too - and I'd think something - and he'd have to see if 'it was on the list' of acceptable thoughts.
The dude was working overtime.

Some thoughts tried over and over and over to get in.
They finally gave up.

Once in a while - they come around again - but are quickly 'bounced'.

I have to say I'm pretty carefree.
I haven't looked at Aaron's grades in over a year.

You know what?
I don't care.

This may come as a terrible shock to many of you - and many of you may think I'm completely wrong - but it's what I had to do.

I ask him things like -
"Are you doing your best?"
"Do you need any help with anything?"
"Have you been suspended?"

And if he's NOT doing his best?
How in the sam hill can I do anything about that?
Can I force his hand to his paper?
Can I force him to study?

That's the thing - what can you truly control?
You can control what you eat - when you go to bed - how you spend your time, and you can control your thoughts.

And I'm tellin' ya sister - you start getting your thoughts under control - you are going to cultivate one beautiful life for yourself!

I tell myself what I'm going to think now - I don't let random, negative thoughts fall from the sky and control me. 
Thoughts control emotions, and thoughts will eventually become your actions.

The  MOMENT I start to lose my peace anymore - it alerts me that I'm thinking something I shouldn't be.

And doesn't life continually dole out situations that make you lose your peace?


The last 'test' I had was right after Christmas.
I had bought a rug for the living room - it was on clearance and I adored it.
Thought it was going to be perfect.
I used some Christmas money I had received as a gift.

Opened a store credit card to purchase the rug because I would save even more, with the plan on closing the account the moment I got the bill and paid it.

Just wanted to interject this here -
I had a huge spending problem in years past.
I overate - I overspent.
I hid credit card bills.
What do I have to show for it?
I have no idea where the money went.

Are you surprised?
I bet you are.
Y'all thought I was so perfect.
I'm sorry.

I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it.

I paid all credit cards off - and cut them all to bits.
I have no credit cards.
At all.
Not even 'an emergency' card.
I found it so easy to 'trust' in those credit cards - you know?
Oh, we are short on money this month - no worries - we have credit darling!

I live on a cash only basis now.

Anyhow - the rug wasn't 'right' and I wanted to return it.
It was $150 rug.
When I got to the store to return it - I didn't have the receipt.  I had the 'opened a charge account receipt thing' - and I was denied returning the rug.

I could feel my peace leaving.
: -)

I was also denied returning it for a store credit - I was quite perplexed about that one.

I left with the rug - and very little peace.

I sat in the Heep for a few moments - and tried to find a way of thinking that brought my peace back.

I decided to think this 'Well Jayme - you lost the receipt - you have to keep the rug - looks like you are going to have to redecorate a room in order to use the rug."

That was the ONLY way that I had peace.
Isn't that crazy?
I truly adored the rug.
It was a $300 rug that I got for a good price.

I had to keep telling myself that over and over again.

Then I decided to try one more time to return the rug.
The next time I went to the store, there was a different associate that looked up my receipt - returned the full price of the rug back onto my store card, and did the whole thing with a smile.

And ain't it the way that most things go?
It seems that things always work out.

And if they don't - and you really have no control over the situation?

Let it go.

You are only hurting yourself.
You have to find your peace girls.

You can find it - you can keep it - you can live a beauty full life.
I guarantee.


  1. I also used to worry about "stuff". One day my mother told me that she never worries about things over which she has no control. I adopted that attitude and it changed my life. If I can fix it, I will. If I cannot, I will not. And then I move on. You are so correct. Letting go of worry allows you to be free and find a certain peace. It is good. Amen!

  2. I have never been much of a worrier. I learned young that I couldn't control life when I lost the twins and ever since I just trusted it would all work out because I had been to the dark and lived. That's not to say I don't sometimes get anxious I do, but worry gets yo0u no where fast. A lot of wasted time you never get back. Most of the time those worried about things never even happen. You is a smart gal Miss Jayme. I adore you.
    What did that rug look like? Dern I may have wanted it. hehe

  3. THANK YOU for this post!!! I am a terrible worrier, always have been but now that my son is in the Army and living half a world away it has snowballed for me, I will be back to re-read this post, I so need to find that inner strength for myself! good luck with the business venture, I love my serum;)

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  5. Found a typo and had to delete!

    You are cheaper and better than a therapist, Jayme! Thank you for baring your imperfectness so we can all learn! Some of us seem to have busier minds than others and it's so hard to quiet things up there! I LOVE the idea of a bouncer! Your blog is a wonderful thing!

  6. Jayme, I love this post. You're speaking to ME!!!... I am a chronic worrier.. gained twenty pounds over it, and have felt awful for years now. Drs., tests.. nothing wrong but STRESS!!!... and they tell me to quit worrying. Good God it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm going to try to heed your advice here. I did lose the weight (inspired by YOU this year) and now I have to quit worrying. The BOUNCER thing.. hmmmm... gonna try it. Worrying is really just a waste of time. It doesn't change anything. I think I thought if I WORRY about the thing, it won't happen. Or atleast I'm doing everything I can to prevent it. HA!... *sigh*....

    PS... on a chicken subject... I got my other chickens to stop picking on the one chicken by putting a red light bulb (party light) in the henhouse at leaving it on at night. Plus I sprinkled corn starch on the pecked at chicken's butt. It worked, and she's even back to laying again. (my only blue egg layer).

    And on chickens, do you have any advice on where to find six month old chickens (or a little older) this spring so that I can add about three or four to my seven-chicken brood? They would KILL something younger I think.

  7. Jayme, I appreciate your openness about worry. I love the acronym that you made PERFECT! I don't worry nearly as much as I did before I came to know the Lord, but it could be said of me at times that I worry. At this time I am in the process of bringing every thought captive unto Christ (2 Cor. 10:5) and it does honestly help do away with the negative, worrisome stuff that loves to rob one of peace.

    Hugs to you, my friend,

  8. We 'may' be getting a tiny bit of snow tonite. If we are lucky.. would just be nice to see a bit once this year.

    I only have one worry in life, and that is what I will do if my husband were to die before I do. I know, nothing I can do about the future, but I would just miss him so.

  9. Thanks so much for this post...I am a Worrier...maybe I need to be a Warrior and knock off those arrows of worry... I will definitely work at it more.

  10. You do not know how much I needed to hear that today!! Thanks for the great post! I will Let It Go!

  11. So jealous you are getting snow!

    As for worry I am a lot better than I used to be. I was a chronic worrier before. Now it's comes in spurts. I might try your "bouncer" trick. I like that idea.

  12. Thank you so much, Jayme, for this post. I waste so much of my energy worrying about things that never materialize, things that are out of my control and lose much peace in the process. Thanks for the reminder that we can only control ourselves.

  13. Ohhhhhh great post!!!! I wrote a post yesterday about worry and boy did I set off a fire under some hens. I failed to write in the blod that I am currently NOT worried. I will have to go and rectify that today. Law.

    I am so proud of thee.

    I had your honey with breakfast this morning. It was divine.



  14. Ohhhhhh great post!!!! I wrote a post yesterday about worry and boy did I set off a fire under some hens. I failed to write in the blod that I am currently NOT worried. I will have to go and rectify that today. Law.

    I am so proud of thee.

    I had your honey with breakfast this morning. It was divine.



  15. Good stuff today Jayme!! We have been struggling financially because of promised income not coming through. God always came through though!! :) We don't really have a lot of debt but it taught us a lesson. We can certainly live more frugally. The hubs starts a fabulous new job Monday!! God is good. When we live the way He wants us to live we will have peace no matter the circumstances.

  16. Great thoughts today, Jayme.

    And I am REALLY pleased that you tried again and found someone who knew what customer service was. Sometimes it seems as though customer service has gone by the wayside, and then I hear of or experience a terrific example of what customer service really means. KUDOS to the different associate!

  17. What a beautiful, well-written post, Jayme! Sounds like you got it all together now, girl!

  18. Hi, I'm Cheryl. And I'm a worry wart! But I'm giving it to God. day by day...and learning how much I depend on Him to carry my burdens. Best "bouncer" I've ever had! :)

  19. I'm a chronic worrier. My husband says I 'think things to death' and half the things I think about would be categorized as worries. You're right, it's a TERRIBLE habit!

    You're a blessing to me, Jayme. You're as wise as Dr Phil, as funny as Erma Bombeck, as crafty and decorating-savvy as Martha Stewart and you cook like Julia Childs! AND you love chickens and cats can you think you're not perfect?!?

    : )

  20. So true, well said! As always, love your photos disbursed in the post!
    Just FYI, my son was home schooled, excellent learner, awesome student - practically straight A student as well- put him in private school.. not so many A's anymore. But he has been in school for 4 yrs now (he wanted to finish up highschool in a "school") and he has found his way. He is doing well. I think they have a lot of pressure and stress going into a traditional situation, even though we were involved in co-ops with group classes etc. It is very different - lockers, 7 different teachers to keep up for on ONE day every day for 5 days. Test, pop quizzes, home work, class work in each one... and not having to "keep" up with this before can be a learning curve. I know exactly what you are talking about, because you KNOW I was on my sons web acct looking at his grades, going through his book bag trying to "help" him along, etc. But I like you, decided I had to stop it. So, I tapered down, I didn't do it cold turkey, but I am under control of myself now. LOL. Great post! Enjoy your snow!

  21. Great post! All of it - great. I love how you share your experiences and the lessons you've learned.

    You rock!

  22. I'm that squeeky wheel that they talk about! I've found that companies want you to be satified, that's why they have complaint forms .Find a manager at that store/company and repeat the story to them. The clerk was instructed to say no, but a manager is more likely to say yes to a return. If you strike out a second time, try their corporate offices if they are a big box. Oprah had a whole show on this a long time ago about bad service. A rep from American Airlines was on the show and he said customers should always let a company know when they are not happy. It's not about letting go in this case as much as being a satisfied customer. Look in the mirror and practice being a "squeeky wheel!"

  23. Oh, Jaymers, I think you and me, we are twins, don't you see? Over-eating, over-spending, over-worrying chicken mama, we be. 'Ceptin' for one lil' detail. You got yerself ahold of that demon and done tied his tail in a knot. O.k., I'm right behind. I'm working on my debt, my weight and oh, how I needed to hear this sermon on worry. Preach it, sister, we are here, your congregation. xo, Cheryl

  24. You talkin to me? You talkin to ME? Yup, you are. :)

  25. I had a similar experience returning a Christmas gift that didn't fit. I was issued a gift certificate. When I called to place my new order,I couldn't believe how short and rude the sales girl was. I mean SHORT and RUDE. When our transaction was over-I said that I have to tell you that I've never been treated this way before. She thanked me(not so nicely) and hung up on me. This is coming from a major retailer that we have dealt with for years. I called back-got another sales person who was overly polite and apologetically about everything-and redid the order where I was charged $15.00 too much. The good and the ugly are out there.
    Your blog is always so good to read. Don't ever give up on us-we need you in our lives-to tell us like it is.

  26. I cannot express how much I needed to hear (read) this message today!

    I just love reading your blog!

    Thank you!

    Joy from Texas

  27. I used to be a worrier, too. I have let a lot of things go in the past few years..and I am so much better for it.

    I love your raw honesty here, Jayme. It makes me a better person. God bless you-..and if you want a testimonal about your Spring Chicken let me know. It is the best stuff I have used forever!!!!! xo Diana

  28. I'm an ex-worrier too Jayme. My mantra was "don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff". The mantra worked very well for many years but in the last year or so I realized I must have over done the, "don't sweat it" mantra. Now I don't worry about anything, literally. It's gotten me into binds at times. Not big binds but enough to make life have a little quicker pace on occasion. I still don't worry though. It feels good not to worry.


  29. Every woman who reads this post will identify. I have a book by a therapist who says there are two things we can control: how we feel about ourselves, and our behaviors, which are based on our feelings. What a waste of energy to worry about things we cannot control. Great story of the rug. Wonderful lesson you have learned, written out so clearly that we can all benefit. Thank you, Jayme.


  30. oh my goodness, I think God is speaking to me through you today. Seriously. I worry about everything. Things out of my control (that probably won't happen). It drives me's like the itch I can't scratch. I need to find my constant peace, and this was all very good to hear. :) Thank you for this post. Thanks for speaking your mind. THanks for being real.

  31. True Peace... is NOT the absence of turmoil in our is the calm found in the MIDST of turmoil...yes!
    Do not worry about not fret...Pray about EVERYTHING! since it is IMPOSSIBLE for us to be totally free of moments of worry cropping up in our lives...I believe with all my heart this instruction in the Bible means...when you feel it coming on, (as you just described above) to quickly recognize it, address it for what it is...and KICK IT ON IT's BACKSIDE out the door of our minds....{cause you are giving the Devil his due desserts} is him that wants us to stress and worry and fret and obsess about life. Ya know why? because he knows it draws us away from trusting that God has our best in mind and HE will truly cause all things to work together for good.(yep even the things that originally looked like a bad thing...God knew what was going on...all a part of the plan for the good of everybody involved)...It's never just all about me...Life works in ripples, touching many...Hugs to you Jayme...just sharing my 2 cents worth about Worry, too. Who needs that wart popping up on the joys of life? Have a beautiful day watching the snow...I am doing the same...(staying warm INSIDE!) xoxoxo

  32. How in the world do you keep coming up with these meaningful, inspirational posts??? You've got a gift for sure!

    I'm going to try to stop worrying so much myself. Thanks for the advice.

    A marketing Guru, eh? What a great idea! I love the name Spring Chicken...genius! I've been using mine faithfully the past few weeks. Love it!

    I don't write often, but know I'm checking in faithfully to read my favorite blog!

  33. Once again, you hit the nail on the head. I sure do need this and just in time. In a couple of weeks I will quit my job and all those worries are coming into my head. I've tried telling myself that I have to believe that everything will work out okay. Thank you for the added encouragement. Hope you all are not getting too much snow. Bees & chickens will be fine. Hugs.

  34. It doesn't do me or anyone any good to worry, but I have felt that I should be worrying when people think that worrying is a sign of really caring. Tricky that.

  35. Amen sister! I know exactly what you are talking about. I too struggle with worrying but have made strides in conquering it. I found a quote in a novel that is based on a scripture in Matthew that has really worked for me: "Let the day's own worries be sufficient for the day". I had to do something about worrying before it affected my health. I have a friend who worries about everything, all day long. Something in her body has triggered a virus which has attacked her kidneys and they are only working 25% of what they should. Doctors have no clue why and haven't been able to get her kidneys back to normal. That was a huge wakeup call to me.

    Thanks for your honesty, about everything. Love the pics too : )

    Karen in MD

  36. Friend, you have 100% described me from the worry, to not being able to enjoy the present because of tomorrow's troubles, to the spending, to the eating. You give me hope that I can too change. I have been feeling the frustration in myself for being this way for too long. So glad I read this blog post today. Thank you.

  37. Great post!

  38. Working on it, doing pretty well. Serenity prayer helps. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Amen Peg from Decatur

  39. Thanks for this post. It is good to remind myself about not letting the bad thoughts in. We all need to count our blessings, there are so many unfortunates sometimes it's good to compare and then lend a hand to others.

  40. Love this line: "And doesn't life continually dole out situations that make you lose your peace?" Because it is soooooo true.

    Very nice post and I'm glad I found you!

  41. There is a lot of truth to be found in this post. Jim always says "Why borrow trouble" and I'm finally getting it.


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