Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Death by Triangle Pose - A Greek Yogurt Tragedy

I know.
Today's post was supposed to be about my icy hiking trip.
Tomorrow - I promise.

After today's turn of events - I had no choice but to blog about this.

Yoga class.
The Yoga studio was kind enough to let me opt out of Boot camp and go to a Yoga II class on Tuesday mornings.
Namaste baby.

I'm still not quite over my illness, but I thought I'd be good to go.

Let me preface this by saying that I discovered this product recently:

Pretty balanced in carbs and proteins, I thought that they might make a good breakfast or snack while I was away.
I packed a cooler full.

Did I mention I was sick and feverish when I was packing?

If you've been around the blog long enough - you know I don't eat dairy.
You know that it makes me bloated, smelly, depressed, achy and promotes symptoms of menopause.
I just thought it would 'be ok' for a couple of days, and that I could deal with a little bloating.
I hate eating out every meal when I go away.

I ate six in the last few days.

I entered Yoga class today full of promise.
I unrolled my lovely mat and thought I was looking pretty good in my new yoga pants and tightly fitted v-neck 3/4 sleeve gray t-shirt.
My breasts looked good.
I'm just saying.
It was all smoke and mirrors and a good bra - but for all practical purposes - they were looking good.

My bare feet looked lovely as I sat in lotus pose waiting for class to begin.
There was peace, tinkling music and a lot of elderly people.

I was feeling it.

We started out by lying on a bolster 'opening our sternum'.
My breathing was seamless.
I was in the zone.
In my mind's eye I was lean and limber and entertained thoughts of becoming a yogi master and teaching this very class one day.
I imagined myself floating around the class so graceful - blabbering about chakras.
I decided I'd start listening to tinkling music at home, and burning incense, and talking softly and slowly - about important things.

Then we stood up.
I noticed every time I bent over, I felt quite faint.
Oh gosh - really faint.
Faint, like as in - I'm gonna faint.
And we kept bending over.
Over and over.

I thought maybe my ears were all plugged with snots and I'm just off balance.
Then I noticed a sensation that I've never felt before.
Skin aflame.
Slight heart palpitations.

I was in triangle pose and I was holding on to it for dear life.
I began to shake and I thought I was going to go down - right then and there - and sheer willpower - not wanting to be embarrassed kept me vertical.
For five more seconds.

Go down I did.
I tried to do it gracefully, and I think I did - but the yoga instructor came by to make sure I was OK.
I nodded 'yes, yes - just still perhaps a bit too sick to be out' is what I said - but I was hoping some how or another he heard 'I'm dying - call 911'.

I sat there trying to cool off, calm down and not vomit as I watched all the obese 75 year old women in the room holding the pose.  I was scolding myself sharply.
"Jayme!  Why didn't you take care of yourself when you were younger!?  Why did you go to Dairy Queen so much!?  Why don't you exercise more??  You can't even do 20 minutes of yoga without dying!"

It was right about then I realized what was happening.
Sure, I'm still a little sickly - but a triangle pose shouldn't kill me.
I did a half marathon for goodness sakes!
I lift weights!

It was a bloody hot flash.
An epic hot flash.
A Greek yogurt dairy inspired hot flash.

I've never felt one like it.

I was on fire.  I was dying.  I wanted to strip nude and run outside and find a dirty snow bank to roll in.  I wanted to puke and faint, and roll up in the fetal position.

After a couple of minutes I was able to get back up - and do the rest of the class with no trouble.
I left feeling refreshed, a little taller and much calmer.

Hot flashes.

Please tell me - how in the world do you endure them?

Endure them I won't.
I've not had one since I started eating clean, and I've never had one as bad as today - and I shan't be eating dairy again if that's the effect I'll get.



  1. Oh hot flashes. We feel that we won't survive. But we will I'm sure of it. I hope so.....

  2. You poor girl! Stay away fron the milk. I don't do dairy much either..but I never had the effects that you have. God bless ya~ xo Diana

  3. If dairy causes them I'd almost consider giving up my mocha cappuccino every day! Well almost. Dang things, I hate them like clock work every morning at 5 AM. Why can't they wait another hour?? And then again about 3 hours later and again after that. Crap I'm almost looking forward to OLD age.

  4. Welcome to reality and getting older.

  5. Mine come from stress. No problems with dairy but I am not a big dairy eating girl. I have many times stood topless on my back porch and breathed. Menopause ain't for sissies. Hang on girl it is just starting.

  6. That sounds terrible. I just bought a bunch of that same yogurt b/c it was on sale at Kroger 10/$10. I dipped strawberries in the vanilla and froze them (an idea I saw on Pinterest). Pretty good: the girls and I liked them. Hope you have no more nasty episodes!

  7. but, hey. the emts would have at least appreciated the girls doin their thing;)

    i'm glad your better! next time you'll show those old fat bittys!

  8. Um....I think I just wrote off Chobani Greek Yogurt for life....
    lol...I hope to kingdom come I NEVER have a hot flash like that ....EVER....um....Stay strong!
    :-) :-) :-) xo

  9. Jayme, sounds like the combination of hot flashes, dairy, left over sick and yoga positions really don't mix at all. Way too much going on there for a good outcome. Don't be so hard on yourself. That was absolutely too much to deal with... hot flashes are enough all by themselves. I eat a tin of sardines with a few unsalted crackers when I need a quick meal and energy and I don't have to keep the tin cold. Sweets always let me down, but I do love my hot chocolate now and then. No yoga. Raking leaves, yes. Hope you get well (all the way well) very soon. Be happy!

  10. I've had a few moments like that and I had no idea what it was!!!... and I have definitely noticed I don't do dairy well anymore. I thought i must have had food poisoning or something. I'm 46, so maybe it really is hot flashes...and dairy??... you mean together? or it's just all about the dairy?...

    I just found a really good yogurt that is lactose free, so far I'm not reacting to it. It's green hill, organic. Their honey yogurt is delicious. I love Chobani but it doesn't love me.

  11. I am on the "other side" of menopause...the side where just when you think your skin cannot possibly get any drier, it does. At any rate, when I was still in the throes, I started taking supplements with soy. Swear to goodness, it all but stopped the hot flashes. My hot flashes were so bad that at work I would go into the corporate kitchen, open the full length freezer door to the Viking 'fridge and just stand there with my head in the darned thing. Then I discovered soy and black cohosh. Changed everything. I took Estroven. I am sure there are others but that is what helped me. They have a website and there are no preservatives, gluten, lactose, etc. in the product. (And no, I don't work for them! The product just worked for me.)

  12. It never would have occurred to me that someone could have that kind of reaction to dairy. I hope you have recovered now.

  13. PS.. it's Green Valley lactose free yogurt, not Green Hill. Tsk.. senior moment.

  14. Jayme,

    If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please.

    I love yoga and yogurt! :)

    Hope you're feeling cool, less bloated and your nose has given up marathons.

    Your Friend,

  15. Thank you for the morning chuckle! Not that hot flashes are funny. I go to yoga, a class in which I am about 15 years older than the next oldest person (I'm only 42), and some evenings it feels like it's 100 degrees in there. The instructor always knows it's time to turn the heat down by the hue of red of my face! I'm in perimenopause, not too many hot flashes (no wheat or dairy). I take Estrosense, as prescribed by my naturopath. There is Menosense as well, which I've heard has great results. You can get them at good health food stores.

  16. Weellll . . .
    it might have been a hot flash, maybe the yogurt, but I think it was from your cold. The bending over maybe . . . gave you a kind of like being car/air sick feeling. I have had it happen to me at yoga . . . feeling fine . . . yet recovering from a sinus type cold and a session of many bend over, head twist contortions will do me in . . .
    Passed out once . . .
    Sick one time . . .
    Really ill another time . . .
    And taking it easy now . . . (I know it is from the head movement . . . making me dizzy/faint.)
    Your telling it is much, much funnier than my experience!

  17. OMG...I have the funniest menopause story and I shouldn't tell this, but I must...

    A friend of mine (50+) has not had her period in over a year. However, she had hormone testing and is not in menopause. So...a while back the doctor had given her a pill to take to make her get her period. She had never taken it but they insisted she did so now.

    In the meantime...she also has Crohn's and had a terrible episode a while back as well. They gave her opium pills.

    Fast forward, poor friend thought she was taking her PERIOD pill when she was actually taking opium. She said she'd never had a period that felt so good.

    Maybe you should try that...LOL. Just kidding!

  18. Oh dear girl....you and I are about the same age and I'm right there with ya...had to go into the doc last week and now I get to begin all the hormone testing, would believe I have to spit in a cup for several hours and then send it off to alab to have it studied???? crazy!!!....yeah!!!!!!

  19. oh, my goodness ... something i do not look forward to. "hot flashes" yuck-o. you poor thing. i remember when my mom would go through them. i felt so terrible. unsure how to help. i was in total suspense as to what happened in your story there. i was thinking totally horrible, horrific, gross things (could not think of another "h" word!! ha. ha!!) ... thankful it was not to bad. i know bad it was ... but it would have been so much worse. i keep thinking maybe i need to eat more cleanly, lose dairy & other yucky stuff ...but not sure where to start?? i've eaten this way for so long. cereal with milk for breakfast & other items with dairy in them. how did you begin the process? (:

  20. Ughhhh! I feel your pain! My only symptoms right now are the hot flashes. Waking up drenched in sweat. I have started taking Estroven. It is An over the counter multi vitamin with soy and black cohosh. I dont know if its psychological but it is working. When I stopped taking them because I ran out, the hot flashes started again.

  21. Oh my goodness-good thing you signed this-cause I thought I was writing it!!! If you get my drift...........been there......

  22. I am 56 and had not had a hot flash and thought I was one of the lucky ones. Ha! Then I decided to gradually go off my antidepressant. I started having hot flashes, but didn't put 2 and 2 together. I discussed the hot flashes with my Dr. and he said he could prescribe HRT, or an antidepressant! Guess what I did? Back on my pills for the time being and no hot flashes. Works for me:)

  23. I have laughed so hard I have tears. You crack me up to the ends of the earth.


    Roll naked in a dirty snow bank...... Bahahahaha!


  24. this could explain it! i had dairy with dinner last night, and i don't eat it often since it bothers me. i went to the gym and was feeling really great about beating my personal time on the bike. then i did some weights and it hit me like a mack truck. my face went white (which was very red!), i started getting internally hot, sweating, nausea. i ran for the bathroom thinking i was going to vomit. once i cooled down i was fine. maybe the dairy is the culprit!!! good gravy. just another reason to stay off the dairy!!!

  25. Laura's right, Estroven will help and add soy products to your diet. My GYN told me that a diet high in protein also helps. I'm DONE, it's all behind me... ding! I bet you were still a little sick and the hot room (for the 75 year old ladies) was too much! Take. care. of. yourself.

  26. Whew! I know hot flashes can be bad, but when you wrote, "I ate six the last few days." I had a completely different fear as to what might have happened. Believe me, the hot flash was better than what I thought of!!

  27. Good that you 'listen to you body' so you know the cause. Me? I live with hot flashes - some days are worse than others. Hope you're feeling better now.

  28. Ah, Jayme, you crack. me. up.

  29. Knock on wood no hot flashes yet but ... I used to eat a 0 calorie, 0 fat yogurt that shall remain nameless - that is until I figured out something in it gave me the worst gas! I would be up on the elliptical at the gym when it hit me. Pure humiliation. Anyway, you are pure inspiration!

  30. I had a hysterectomy in my forties and I have never had a hot flash. What's with that???? I don't know what they feel like and I am in my sixties now. I walk five miles a day and try to eat healthy, but shouldn't I have had a hot flash at some time? Now I'm kind of worried.

  31. Not sure if this helps, but I am twenty three and I have "flash fevers"...I am refusing to call them hot flashes. But they happen often and they are combined with full force nausea, dizziness and sometimes vision loss...

    I eat SUPER clean...sometimes our bodies suck and they fail us miserably :( Its at those times that I just try to focus on my great hair or something haha

  32. I'm so glad you had a hot flash and NOT what I was afraid you had. All I read were the words "dairy... makes me bloated, smelly..." and then "every time I bent over..." and I could only think of one thing: some kind of fit of vapors or something.
    Oh, I'm thankful you didn't go down that way! LOL

  33. Oh I'm just catching up again, but had to say that I can feel your pain! Wine was what did it for me, as soon as I figured out that a single glass of wine would have me sweating like a pig during the night, I happily bid farewell to all alcohol for the rest of my menopause days! Never had a problem that wasn't just mildly noticeable after cutting out wine.

  34. Oh I'm just catching up again, but had to say that I can feel your pain! Wine was what did it for me, as soon as I figured out that a single glass of wine would have me sweating like a pig during the night, I happily bid farewell to all alcohol for the rest of my menopause days! Never had a problem that wasn't just mildly noticeable after cutting out wine.

  35. Greek Yogurt gives me hot flashes. Too bad because I love it! I think it is the concentration of the hormones in the milk. Regular yogurt is no problem ;)


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