Sunday, January 8, 2012

Sunday Drivel....

A few things I need to get off my very sore chest.
The yoga class kicked my butt.
My chest and shoulders are so sore - I can barely move.
I go back today at 1pm.

I swear I was in a Downward Dog for over an hour.

It's 7:57am and I just got back from Pier One.
I mistakenly read the schedule.
I thought I was working from 7am to 11:45am.
I sat there for a half an hour in my car alone - waiting for someone to show up.
Gave up - came home - only to see that I'm on the schedule for 7PM to 11:45PM.
The scary thing is that I checked the schedule like FOUR times in the last week.
I've also been leaving lights on in rooms that I leave - which has always been a pet peeve of mine in the past - and even more alarming - I've left for the day leaving the stove top burner going - three times now!

I stayed up late last night watching the Green Mile - which tore my heart up so, that I spent an hour in bed crying over Jinksie - wishing that John Coffey were here the day Jinksie dropped dead - cause he could have 'helped him' the way he helped Mr. Jangles.
And then the thought of Mr. Jangles made me cry.
Oh for a pet mouse that could roll spools around the house!

Oh yes.
I'm ovulating too.

So I've already got a sleep deficit going and now I'll work til midnight and I've promised my friend that we'd walk tomorrow at 6am.
I have a mammogram at 8am.


I got a call from Pier One yesterday asking me if I wanted to stay on - not just be holiday help.
After this morning - I've decided "no".
It's no fault of theirs that I misread the schedule - it's just working such piddly hours - for such piddly pay is much too disruptive to my life.
I do not want to work more hours - I thought just a day or two a month - something different to do - you know?  Come to find out it's quite disruptive - I find out that I have to work on days that I've already planned things - etc.
I've actually had to cancel on the BoyChild because of work.
I don't cotton to that.
Then the guilt sets in - and I think -" Lord Jayme - just get a full time job - you know you should - you are living in a fantasy world"
 - but we've been around that block a few times now, haven't we?
I sacrifice so I can stay home.
I'm cool with that.
86% of the time.

So today I'll at least make what I spent in gas today driving back and forth.

 Facing Dog.

I wanted to apologize for a few things.
Did I mention I'm ovulating?

I'm sorry for posting a gag worthy recipe.
I forget that perhaps I'm in a very different place than many of you when it comes to food - I'm in more of a 'this is what my body needs so just eat it' mode - and I realize that many of you aren't.
I certainly wasn't there when I first started - so I'll try to share a few more palatable recipes in the future!  I apologize if at any time I've come off as preachy - or that
 'you should be doing what I'm doing'.

I'm also sorry that it's been taking me so long to get back to some of you.
When working on my 'Random Acts of Kindness' list last night - (I'm running out of ideas here!) - I saw on one website where it said 'answer your emails promptly' - stating that it made the other person feel valued when you did that.
Oh my - I'm pretty bad about saving emails for 'when I feel like it' - 'when I have time' - and so - here's an I'm sorry - I hope I've never made any of you feel that I don't value you!

Again - I'm smack dab in the middle of my cycle -

And now - just for a good laugh-
Here's a snippet of what I wrote on the forum at the Leanness Lifestyle about my yoga class experience.

Ok. I have to. I'm bristling to tell you all about my adventures in hot yoga today.

I've done a Downward Facing Dog a time or two. I know what Child's Pose is. I've been known to meditate and I love saying 'Namaste'.

My neighbor gave me a gift certificate to one month's worth of classes at the local 'Yoga Room'. She also gave me a list of classes they hold - Beginners Yoga, Gentle Yoga, Pre-natal Yoga - etc. Then - I see that they are having a Bikram Power Hot Yoga Bootcamp the entire month of January. Score! Go big or go home has always been a motto of mine. Do I sign up for the Beginners? Nah. Let's do a Bootcamp. 3 classes a week - 90 minutes a shot in a hot room. I imagine it a very sultry experience where I'm going to feel limber, sexy, and focused.

I'll preface this with the fact that I zealously overconsumed some dried kalamata figs. Again. They are on the list of 'do not buy'. I can't stay out of them. I didn't know they caused such gastric distress. I've been extremely gassy AGAIN. The kind of gas that's just spontaneous - like you aren't even aware that it's happening, and then it happens and you had no chance to politely excuse yourself, or at the very least turn your hind end in a different direction.

I'll also tell you that I wore a long sleeved fleece pullover. I have no idea why. I guess I thought if hot is good - hotter was better.

I've never done a yoga class.

The room is dark. And. HOT. The instructor shows up and she's well - she's gorgeous. She has the most beautiful female body I've ever seen in person. My first thought was to put some BBQ sauce on her and bite her. I mean - seriously? That's beautiful. Muscles. And just the way she carried herself was so lovely. Then she started talking - and she literally sounded like a character from a SNL skit. It was almost comical - she was so ....relaxed.

For someone that's never done a Yoga class before - I think I did pretty good. I've never been twisted around like that in my life. The soreness is actually settling in as I type this. I almost vomited twice. Many of the positions were quite painful as my rear end was so tightly clenched trying not to pass gas. I may or may not have seen Buddha.

We ended in Corpse pose. I nailed it.

And with that - I bid you adieu for the day -
Please think of me at midnight tonight - driving home in the cold, dark night, sleep deprived, sore and hormonal.


  1. Ah, Jayme, I love you! I love your honesty.

    I attended my first yo-pi (or pi-yo?) classes this past Fall. The only 'new-be' in the class. Argh. I didn't even know what a down dog was. I don't balance well. I don't know what namaste is- I was just there to try to make some inroads in my non-exercising body- and trying not to expire right there in class. I can imagine the pain of your gas situation and the added muscles being exercised. I haven't ever seen Buddha, & the Corpse pose wasn't ever mentioned- but I'm pretty sure that is the only pose I got right the entire Fall.

    Bless you Girl!

  2. YOu are making me feel so much better.. because I have taken up yoga too, and my chest/shoulders back have been SOOO sore. I was also told I might be tensing my muscles too much when doing the poses because I am not as BENDY as everyone else. HA!

    Anyway... love that last chicken pic, I am so glad I am now dabbling in chickens. I want to add four to my flock this coming season, but am SOOO worried about introducting four young ones to an already established flock of seven adults. I hear cannibal nightmares!

  3. I laughed. I cried. I have so been there and currently am feeling a little unwanted as I'll be ending my job at the end of the month. Thought they would offer me more money...not the case. Onward & upward. Thanks for sharing. Hugs.

  4. Gee, I was considering taking yoga but now I'm not so sure! LOL!!! Plus I heard some awful reports about it on the news the other night! . . . hope your day goes better!

  5. i'm dying as i write this ... tears in my eyes ... crying ... did i make that clear? ... i'm rolling on the floor. you are too funny!! i love your posts every day i stop by. this post was way over the top. why are the exercise teachers always totally gorgeous ... why can't they look horrible at 1st to make us feel better... wouldn't that make it easier or better... no? well, maybe not but it would make us happier at the moment. have a great sunday & thank you for the laughs. the hubby is looking at me like i'm crazy. thanks!! (:

  6. I was laid off from a job in 2002 due to them outsourcing all of the work. I've felt many times over the years that I should go back to work, but after a couple of 'temp' jobs decided NO WAY. It's just easier for me to stay home and take care of all the things that Hubby can't do while he's working. He is retiring later this year, so then perhaps my feelings of guilt will go away.

  7. You are a hoot and a half . . . I am ALWAYS laughing out loud when I read you.

    I know the downward dog pose . . . happy you nailed it. Many people love yoga, I only love it when we rest and then get ready to go home . . . seriously . . . don't laugh. Everyone tells me it is good for me but it doesn't make me feel happy . . . I would rather go for a long walk and then come home do my own downward dog and watch the paint dry. Plus I get car, air, sea, yoga sick . . . So my 2011decision was no yoga for me . . . ANYMORE. A big deal for me to make that decision, but I figure . . . at 72 I have that right . . .

    Love the colors of the eggs!

    Be safe on your drive home . . .

  8. Thank you for the smile.. love your yoga class description! I took a yoga class live in person once or twice, and LOVED it! No hot yoga for me though.. lol. I'm headed to the nearest hillside for yoga in my sweats whilst I watch my dogs playing. And hey.. if there's gastric disturbance.. who cares out there? :D ♥ ya, and so proud of your accomplishments!! -Tammy p.s. gonna check out that recipe b/c something tells me *I* would like it!

  9. OH, what we can do to our bodies!! I'm surprised that it got you so much, but then you're using different muscle groups.

    Wish me luck. I'm going to try a tai chi class tomorrow night.

  10. Don't you just love it? lol It's the best thing I have done for my body, in a long time. I don't do HOT so I won't look like your instructor anytime soon!But at my age, I don't expect to....

    Love the post and the adorable girls! That young man ain't bad, either!

  11. Oh Jayme-- you make me laugh!!! The tightly clenched cheeks LOL!! I agree with you and the job thing... you have to be happy with what you are doing/working esp if it is only a few days a month!! You go girl- I support your decision!! Also I feel your sadness- I just lost one of 'my girls' hen due to a leg issue... I'm so sad!! It just hurts so badly to lose the ones we cherish! I will think of you tonight- only because I will be driving home at the same time(Different time zone :0)) but I will be getting off my normal weekend 32 hour shift and driving home one hour thirty mins!!! Plus I have to stop and get gas!!!YUCK!!
    Take care... and no more sad movie... make us video on here!!! Those are so funny!! You should do a YOGA one!!! HAHA

  12. You completely crack me up.

    Do not apologize for your drivel. We are hanging on every last word of it.


  13. I have followed your blog for a while but never commented. I so appreciate your honesty, you speak for all "womankind" Keep it up you make my day. I always look forward to your blog.

    Blessings from a fellow Northern Indiana Hoosier Farmer.

  14. Jayme: DO NOT EVER CHANGE!!!! We all love you just the way you are!

  15. You poor, poor thing...and I can say is Hot Damn! xo Diana

  16. I loved your recap of hot yoga! I have taken yoga classes and practice at home myself but never hot yoga....sorry to laugh at your pain (and gas) but that was classic. :) I never thought about it but you are right, some of the instructors do sound like a SNL skit.

    I love the Green Mile. It took me a long time to watch it because I always thought "prison movie, meh" but when I did, I fell in love with it.

  17. oh honey the butt pucker is usually reserved for frightening situations. I am glad to see you used it in this way. Never stop learning, that's what I tell myself.

  18. Jayme,
    I hear you. I am starting to NOT remember the names of things and what I was 'going' to say. I'm alittle worried.....I have also left a gas stove on while going on. VERY scary.

    Yoga, figs....don't mix honey. ;)

    I love the chicken pictures. What do they do in the winter? Teach us Coop woman...haha what an image!

    Seriously, you are very gifted in writing/communicating/humor. Tonight when you get home from 'work'.... Thank the Lord for your talent and be proud that you communicate well and make us laugh. It's a special talent.

    Enjoy your night

  19. Oh I forgot, please tell us about your random acts of kindness "project".

    I'm starting a thank you campaign....just little notes to people passing thru my life, thanking them for their time with me.

    Hey, you can be #1.
    Thank you for making me think and laugh at the same time. How cool is that! I am grateful for you and your thoughts and your blog.

  20. My best-friend and I did Yoga together, but we could never get through a session without bursting into very inappropriate laughter. And after watching the Green's all downhill after that...I love that movie, but it's a heart melter and a hormone stimulator!!!!


  21. You are so funny. I've had that kind of gas before. Once I was playing a game with my brother and his wife and I tooted through the whole thing and just tried to ignore it, but I could see my brother and sister-in-law were about to bust from trying not to laugh. Oh, well. When you can't control it, just ignore it and act like it didn't happen.

  22. I am feeling rather guilty about saying that I almost gagged in my comment on your oatmeal blog. Would it have been better if I said it looked 'gagalicious'.

    Anywho...I love everything you post, whether my gag reflex is ready for it or not. Keep on keeping on! I love to see what you are up to!

  23. ..."we ended in the corpse position. I nailed it" are s.e.r.i.o.u.s.l.y. funny Jayme; your write today was the perfect antidote for,,,,well....for pretty much EVERYTHING!! Luv your style and so glad that I stumbled across your blog Jayme!


  24. absolutely died laughing at your yoga class experience. seriously. died.


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