What Did I Do to Deserve This?

The pillow is still missing.

For reals.

The house is scoured, and I do mean scoured.

I have no idea where this week has gone.

Now that the BoyChild is on summer break, and here more often than not - I feel fragmented.

We are up to tom foolery all the live long day, and there is part of me that thinks I need to be more regimented, and another part of me that will rue the day I regiment myself when he's grown and long gone and I'm alone, again, naturally.

Here's the week in photos - not sure that words are necessary.

What do I see here?

The beauty of summer, the frivolity of youth, and a life where clocks are paid no never mind.

A life who's to do list is started with

'find the beauty'.

photo by the BoyChild

A life deeply breathed.

A life in slow motion.

Where the breaking of beans keep the time.

A life that finds entertainment unplugged.

A life ripe with possibilities.

A life where joy, happiness and appreciation are cultivated with the same fervor

that berries and beans are.

 A life where we promise each other to never get old in spirit.

A life in which the weather is measured by how fast the laundry dries on the line...

photo by istockphoto

And the summer nights are spent watching nature wind down for the day.

So, would somebody please tell me what in the sam hill I did to deserve all of this?

I Think the Coop is Hainted

Haints.

It's what my mom called ghosts.

I'm not sure I believe in them - I mean - it's just too creepy to even think about it - so I don't think about it.

I have no idea how to even begin to tell you this story in a way that it'll make a lick a sense.

It all started with a chicken - which I can't even start that story yet - cause that's a blog post all in itself, and I want the pictures to back that one up.

But THAT is a mystery of epic proportions, and I'll try to tell that story this week.

It involves a chicken returning home with a broken leg after being missing for nearly a month - it involves someone stealing Phyllis's eggs right up from an under her - and something nearly ripping the head off of another chicken.

Mayhem.

Haints.

Mysteries.

That's what my life is all about anymore, so it seems.

Notice anything missing in the above picture?  How it differs from the first one?

If you've had your coffee this morning, you'll notice that the pillow is missing.

It's been missing for a week.

Like, as in , no where in this house.

I have four pillows.  Two go on the couch, one on each chair.

I fluff them everyday, and I always know where my pillows are.

I swear.

And then - last Tuesday - there were three.

I searched the house from top to bottom, which makes no sense cause the pillow never leaves the livingroom.

Let me interject here that I really don't like these pillows, and plan on recovering them. 

I just needed you to know that.

Ok - so, the pillow is gone. 

Glenco and The BoyChild promise me that they aren't playing a prank on me, and in fact - it's starting to annoy them as much as it is me.

I even called one of my friends and asked her if she was toying with me.

For us OCD sufferers, you don't play cruel jokes like moving things in the house.

I'm just NOW getting to the point where I can have mismatched flatware in the same drawer. 

That took years of cognitive behavioral therapy.

Glenco is trying to comfort me saying that 'Maybe you only had three pillows all along honey' - which makes me feel half crazy with anger - really?  Only three?

I told him it would be like him opening the garage and his motorcycle is missing - the one he rides to work every.day. and I told him -

"Maybe you never really did have a motorcyle".

We came home from a weekend camping trip yesterday to find more mayhem.

A banty rooster dead.

This clock - an hour ahead - out of the blue - an hour ahead.



All of my cordless phones dead.

And - my refrigerator - dead.



Granted, it did storm while we were gone.

BUT, it's still weird.

No sign of power failure anywhere else in the house.

There's is still a dead banty rooster.

The pillow is still missing.

And he's not talking.

In fact, he won't even make eye contact with me.

Shenanigans indeed.

Is the Pink Chicken Dead?

RIP Pink Chicken?

Not so fast....

Just because I haven't talked about it, doesn't mean I haven't been living it.

Let's recap.

If you are a new reader, and you have no idea what I'm talking about click on 'Self Imposed Poverty' under my labels to catch up if ya'd like.

June sucker punched the Pink Chicken right in the beak.

She fell - and she couldn't get up.

It wasn't pretty for a few weeks.

So many unexpected expenses, it just seemed like my pockets had holes in them all the ding dang month.

I looked on Monster.com quite often.

I hemmed.

I hawed.

I worried.

I fussed and fretted.
"I" wanted to fix it.

I felt like a failure when July 4th came and went and I wasn't out of debt.

I comforted myself with the thought that to fail at something meant you were trying.

I still live without.

Without more than I think many people are willing to give up.

I won't pay for texting, fancy TV stations or eating out.

I've eaten out once in five months - (I mean sitting down with a waitress - I have gone through McD's for an occasional chicken salad in a pinch).
You'd be surprised what you think are necessities that aren't.

I wash my Ziplocs.
I make my laundry soap.
I hang it laundry the line to dry - winter and summer.
I've gone to the mall once in the last year.
I don't look at catalogs that come in the mail.
99% of my wardrobe is from the resale shop.

I gave Glenco the bill folder and told him I didn't want to do it anymore - to let me know when I needed to go get a job.
He hasn't mentioned it yet - seems he cottons to having me meet him at the door with a cold glass of iced tea in hand, having time to chat about his day.
Seems he cottons to a house in order, a happy wife and an endless supply of clean underwear.

My heart's desire is to cultivate a quiet life.
A life that is peaceful, rich in contentment.
A life that is worth living -
a life unencumbered by debt and living beyond my means in order to help those living below theirs.
True needs that I haven't been able to meet because I was busy meeting my wants.

It sounds easy in theory.
It's not.
This summer I've been on a journey of living without.
Living without certain foods I'd love to indulge in.
Living without material goods I'd love to indulge in.
Sometimes I'm content.
Sometimes I pout.

As I sit here and type this from my unfinished front porch, feeling leaner than I have in years, feeling more peaceful than I've ever felt I can tell you most assuredly -

Busyness is not a virtue.

Less.
Is.
More.

Something I Know For Sure

Life changes.

Constantly.

Sometimes for good, sometimes for not so good.

So - my thought for the day is this -

If you find yourself in a crap storm right now - hold your breath - change is coming.

If your life is nothing but silver linings and happy time smiles and sunshine right now?

Enjoy.

Every.

Freaking.

Minute.

Change is coming.

It's inevitable.

Sometimes it takes you by surprise, and you realize that you've been worrying for nothing.

Other times, it takes you by surprise, and you realize you should have been more concerned than you have been.

I think the sooner we accept it, the better off we are.

And with that - I'll bid you adieu for the day!

Please know that my eyes are fine, and I was laughing the entire time the video was shot.  It was HOURS after the starch incident.

That's just how I laugh when I get really tickled.

Also know, that I'm working with my Coach now to bring the Bootcamp to you!

There is hope, no matter how long you've struggled with your weight - no matter how discouraged you presently are - no matter if you've just about given up.

Change - it's a comin'.

The Best Ab Workout Eva!

Today whilst talking on the phone to my dear friend Renee, I was ironing my pillowcases.

Don't hate.

I love crisp, fresh pillowcases.

It's a cheap luxury.

I was putting things away, and we were still talking.

I was putting away the can of spray starch, sans the lid.

It goes in an old cupboard in the pantry, and for some reason, I wasn't putting it back on the shelf it normally goes on - but a shorter shelf.

As I forced the can on the shelf, not giving a single thought to the aerosol spray button aimed straight at my face -

I got shot in the face with a seriously large shot of Magic Sizing.

I let out a blood curdling scream and hung up on my friend.

My eyes were ablaze.

But I was laughing at the same time -

Aaron got me a cold, wet cloth and I cleaned my eyes out, and phoned my friend back.

I have been giggling about this all day, and while Aaron was trying to fix my hair a few hours later, I got tickled again thinking about it and seriously laughed uncontrollably for 10 minutes.

My face was swollen from laughter, my belly ached.

I didn't know Aaron got the camera out...

Without further adieu...

How to Treat Company

Fox in Squirrel.

This is what happens when you have the audacity to show up at my house, and it feels like I've known you forever.

You get treated like kin, not company.



After they arrive bearing gifts and hugs are exchanged, talk their ear off until it's nearly 9pm before you serve them food.

Feed them way late in the night, in a cramped camper - waiting until they are so hungry - that any wheat and dairy free food that you serve them is welcomed, devoured, and seems delicious.



taken by FlowerPatchFarmGirl



After keeping them up half the night talking, make them drive to meet strangers for the day.

Very cute strangers.

After that grueling day, wait until it's nearly dark to serve them supper again.

Make them walk five miles in the hot, heavy night air in a strange town.

Keep them up til 1am watching Extreme Makeover Edition: Weightloss so that we can cry together.

Send them out in the dark humid night to sleep in cramped quarters.

Wake them at 4.

Feed them oatmeal with chocolate protein powder mixed in and take them for a back and bicep workout.

When the company seems worn down to a nub, see them off so they can drive three hours home - without a shower or makeup - still in pajamas.

That's how I roll.

Who's next?

A Typical Morning in the Hood

I awoke this morning after a restless night's sleep remembering the dream I had.

I dreamt that my 'first boyfriend' from 1977 was selling Krispy Kreme donuts for $29.99 a dozen and I bought some.

Well, cause it was my first boyfriend selling them.

When I got them, they were freeze dried and needed to be re-hydrated before you could eat them.

I wasn't too happy about it then.

I planned on getting a few good early morning garden shots for y'all, but the time I was properly caffeinated, the sun was a bit too hot on the flowers already.

I like to call they way I garden 'Square Inch Gardening'.  I strive to have every flipping square inch of the beds filled.  No need for mulch, very little weeding!

I've barely lifted a finger in the garden this year, and it's not too shabby if I say so m'self.

A year ago today was the garden walk.

Remember that?

Law.

I am glad I can only be on it once every five years.

It's stressful.

This morning when I let the chickens out it reminded me of a scene from this movie:

It's especially creepy since I have been told I look like Tippi Hedren when my hair is up.

I'm not sure what was up with the banties this morning, but they busted out of the chicken coop like bats outta hell.

Two of them ended up on the garage roof, and then - just their luck, they flew into the wrong neighborhood.

I haven't told you about the wrong neighborhood here have I?

Oh - it's the wrong side of the coop - that's for sure.

You wouldn't want to go there alone - or at night.

Out of the six straight run chicks I got this year - four are roosters.

Three of them being Black Giants.

They will strike fear in the heart of the faint.

If it not for the caffeine this morning, I do fear that the banties would have been victim's of a rural crime.

They are lucky I was there to intervene.

It's getting bad around these parts.

Chicken sponsors are still desperately needed to rehabilitate this birds.

You think I jest.

My all time favorite banty hen, Phyllis, has been missing a few days.

I started fearing she may have tempted fate and gone to the wrong side of the coop.



Since Janie Fox is on her way to the Coop - I thought I oughta dead head the daylilies, and when I went to get my bucket - lo and behold - look what I found -

I do declare, she is the broodiest bird in the history of birds.

She's one determined little bugger.

She was sitting on 10 of her little eggs that I know are unfertilized.

Going against what little instincts of 'right' I have, I replaced her 10 eggs with three big ole eggs that have a really good chance of being fertilized.

I can't stand to think of her sitting in that shed alone for naught.

I know I'll regret this, but for now, I feel happy, knowing her dream of being a mom will come to fruition some time in August.

Unless - they catch wind of it.

 Please wish Janie luck in staying here.

She's staying in the camper.

It's 90 degrees out as I type this.

I have six roosters that start crowing at 4am.

I'm making her walk six miles on Monday.

I'm not giving her any wheat.

Insert evil laugh here.

So Let it Be Written

So let it be written, so let it be done.

I shall keep my drivel here.

It was an overwhelming response!

Thank you all so much - I was astounded by your kindness, and rendered

speechless by gratitude yesterday.

You are all such an incredible blessing to my life!

Obligatory Chicken Photo #1

I promise to limit my weight loss drivel - although from the comments and emails I've gotten - y'all need some encouragement and motivation. 

I shall consider it my life's purpose!

Obligatory chicken photo #2

But, I am camping again soon - so there will be tales of horror and woe, and the garden is positively kicking a$$ right now and photos must be shared.  I somehow ended up with six roosters, hens are broody, and The Pink Chicken - although alive, is in Intensive Care at the moment.  There are more embarrassing moments and photos in the archives, my cotton ball phobia is alive and well, Janie Fox will be at the Coop this weekend, and life keeps rolling on at an alarming rate.

The only thing I have to say about the whole thing today is this - (AGAIN with the - !)

Be careful that you aren't treating the symptom (overweight) instead of the cause (why are you eating so much?)

We'll go into that in depth soon.

We all medicate with something.

Mine has been food.

Today I'll close with gratefulness for each and everyone of you.

I swear that I want to have you all here, and sit down one at a time with you and thank you, and talk and laugh and get to know you.

Blogging seems so one-sided, you know?

'Now taking reservations for the Squirrel!'

(for my new readers, that's what I call my vintage camper)

Thank you - again.

My heart is full.



To Wheat or Not To Wheat....

Before I begin driveling on - let me ask you this -

do you think I should start another blog dedicated to the weight loss journey?
I'm really not planning on talking about it constantly, but I do want to motivate you to live your best life - even if you don't have weight to lose.

I sure don't want to bore the dickens out of you readers that don't give a hoot.

Would love your thoughts on that -

Today, just quickly, I wanted to share about my decision to go wheat free.

I hesitated at first - because it just seemed like the 'thing to do' - gluten free, you know?

It's apparently in style.

I use a lot of -, don't I?

I also hesitated, because I'm the Queen of baking!  Remember how I used 10 lbs of butter a month and 40 lbs of flour?

Who was I if I didn't do this anymore?

During working with my Coach, he asked all of us to give up dairy, wheat and soy for one full week.

The first three days of eating wheat free, I was pissed off.

I'm just being honest.

I felt that there was 'nothing' to eat.

Every flipping thing has wheat in it.

I can't get enough of this happy bug!

By day four - yowza - (again with the -) I felt like a new woman.

I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me personally.

My energy increased, my body pain decreased.

It hurt to be touched - especially my legs. 
Do not go near my ITB bands, or you might get hurt.  They were THAT tender.

My brain fog lifted - the ADHD symptoms eased.

I felt relaxed.

I went without wheat, or any of it's cousins for four months.

(I didn't use any 'gluten free' products, or noodle substitutes - just not interested in overly processed food).

After Bootcamp (which I'm going into in depth about in the next day or two - hence my wondering if you'd rather me start a new blog about the whole thing), I thought - well - Bootcamp is over - let's have a sandwich.

Then I had another sandwich.

Then I had a wrap.

Then I had muscle pain, joint pain, bloating, gas, and extraordinary fatigue.

I don't know the science behind it all, and honestly I'm not interested.

I'm interested in living my life with my full potential, feeling great.

I'm not going to lie to you and say it's easy - sometimes it's downright hard.

No noodles, bread, cake, etc. etc.

I can hear most of you now saying 'I could never do that'.

I didn't think I could either - but I did.

So now when I look at that sandwich, I have to decide if it's worth about three days of feeling miserable.

It's not.

My Cups Runneth Over

I bet you thought this was going to be more boob talk, eh?

I'm still enjoying the 'perks' of my new Victoria Secret bra.

I swear if you listened close enough - you could hear the pressure being released through my ears.

pppsshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Bootcamp has been over for one week.

Everyday since then, has been chock full.

Saturday I spent the day with my Coach and some amazing fellow Bootcamp friends.

I made the Coach a rug out of jeans that were too big for me and my other bootcamp friends.

Yesterday I spent the day in Chicago with some friends from New Zealand and we saw the

Blue Man Group.

Please leave this blog immediately and go purchase tickets for the show.

It

was

incredible.

Today I slept til 9am.

Oh yes I did.

It was delicious.

I haven't a care in the world today.

It's 11:26 am and I'm still in my pj's and may stay that way all day.

It just feels right!

I need to get my blog legs back.

Thanks for sticking around lately whilst I've been so scattered.

I'm in a really good place right now -

mentally, emotionally and physically.

As much as this blog is silly, as much as it is about my passion for home, and poultry and sharing my randomness -

I want to share my journey with you - and encourage you to start making some positive changes in your life.  It's so worth it!  It's so worth the short term pain to experience the long term pleasure of it all. 

Change.

When you feel it brewing in your heart - oftentimes, you feel trapped by behaviors, circumstances and habits, and you've no idea what to do first, or where to turn. 

You live in a state of frustration.

I absolutely get that.

I lived that for years.

Remember this post?

I lived in the valley of indecision for years.

I had to make a decision and determine within myself to stick with it.

I finally did.

And I'm one happy chick.

My question to you - what is bugging you the most?

What do you MOST want to change about your life right now?

What do you think is holding you back?

I'm all ears.

And boobs.