Sunday, August 15, 2010

Layin' Down the 'Law' - Follow Your Peace



A few of you dear readers have commented on my frequent use of 'law' and wondered about it's origins.

Well.

My mom used it all the time, and her sisters too.

Her sisters used 'they law'

I remember my mom using 'aye law' - perhaps it was her northern adaptation of it. She never completely lost her southern accent.

'Aye law - I'll not go' she'd say when she was frustrated waiting on my dad to take her places.

'Aye law - I can't have anything' - that's the one I heard ALL the time. When we as kids would break a knick knack, or when things just didn't go as she'd wished.

I've been saying 'Aye law, I can't have anything' for years. Even some of my friends have picked it up from me.

Enter the book 'The Help' referred to me from Flower Patch Farmgirl.


There's no turning back.

Everything, and I do mean everything is law.

You are gonna have to stick with me until I run it into the ground - it could take a while.
I'm sure Dolly uses it.
I love Dolly.
I wish I could spend a day with her.


OK - here's the long awaited (?) post on The Change.

Oh - speaking of The Change - I've not had another 'flash' yet. How I loved your comments, and I'm almost happy to be in this club with y'all - in fact, I feel like I'm in great company.

You have no idea of the inner turmoil I've had over this - no idea.

I almost don't know where to begin, so let me just say that the forecast of this post is 'wordy with a chance of drivel.'

OK - The two main components of my life that I feel that I need to change are:

M'weight.
M'anxiety.

Perhaps the two are intertwined in some way, as I feel that food soothes me.

I've had a weight problem for some of my childhood and most of my adult life.
If you are reading this, and you've had/have a weight problem, I know you can understand my feelings.

Today we were at a Gladiolus Festival in Momence, Illinois.
It was 91 degrees out.

I had on three quarter sleeves and jeans.

Most of my thought life is about my weight and how I want it changed.

For all of you naturally thin people - I'm sure you think - well, why don't you go on a diet and do something about it then?

Ya think? Seems rather logical.
All I can say, until you've walked in our broken down shoes, don't judge.
I don't judge the smoker, the alcoholic or the drug addict.
I understand.
When I was 12 I began cutting pictures of pretty, thin women out of the Sears Catalog and putting them on the fridge, beating myself up when I'd overeat.

I've successfully lost weight in the past, many a time.
9 out of 10 people gain the weight back.
*raises hand*
So did I.
I've beat myself up. I've talked horrible about myself. I've shamed myself.

At one time I weighed nearly 300 lbs.
I've successfully kept off 60lbs for over ten years.
I'm still obese.

A few months ago, I had a dream in which I saw a dinner plate, stuck vertically in the ground like a headstone, and it had RIP on it, and there were a knife and fork sticking in the ground on it's sides, flanking it, like urns.

Since that dream, I've been searching my soul for answers.

I couldn't find any.
Every stinkin' time I would decide to 'go on an eating plan' I would become depressed. I would become overwhelmed. I felt like it was so monumental. Now I've lost 90# and 80# on two separate occasions. I only need to lose about 60#'s now - piece of cake. Pun intended.

Making the bed I cry out to God.
'Help me - show me - guide me'.
Then I would turn to logic and think - geez Jaym, get a grip. Eat less, move more - end of story, stop thinking this thing in the ground.
Then I'd eat egg whites (throwing my beautiful golden yolks in the garbage) for breakfast and feel like life wasn't worth living. (I know, I'm dramatic, you should know that by now)
Then I would be preoccupied all day with what I should eat, what I couldn't eat.
I lost ALL desire to cook.
Every little bit of desire. Poof.

I sat in indecision for two months.

I went to the library and got a ton of books.
"I'm gonna do South Beach'
"I'm gonna do what Suzanne Somers says.

I joined Weight Watchers.
I knew I was in trouble when the first thing I looked up in the book was bacon.
Honest to God.
3 strips = 4 points.

A still small voice said,
"Follow your peace"




I thought.
And thought.

What brought me peace?
Did the thought of counting calories, carbs and protein grams bring me peace?
Did the thought of eating grilled chicken and steamed vegetables bring me peace?
I liked the feeling of control - of being in charge - I can fix this - I can do this - can't I?

No.
It caused inner turmoil.

Then I thought that inner turmoil was because I was a food junkie, and you were messing with my stash of junk and I was just getting itchy.

So there I sat again with my familiar friend - indecision.

I'm not trying to be a fitness model, or a body builder or an athlete.
I'm trying to get this weight off of me for my emotional and physical health.

I'm trying to be the best me.

I know Mexico is South, but I'm not sure exactly how to get there - but at least I could start out by heading South. I could get directions along the way.

If I keep doing the same thing over and over - the thing that didn't work long term - it seems crazy.

This is what I'm doing.

I'm cutting my food in half.
Plain.
Simple.
A start.

There is no food off limit to me.
If I'm hungry - I'll eat - but half of what I would normally.
Half a sandwich.
Half a chicken breast.
2 strips of bacon instead of 10.

When I think of this, I have peace.

I'm going to exercise solely for the fact that I feel better when I do.
I want to get flexible again.
I want to ride my bike, and take walks.

It seems so simple and against everything 'out there' that I feel scared - but I feel peace.
There's a part of me screaming - what about the charts? What about the calories?
I have more peace with this decision, than I did with a traditional 1200 calorie 'plan', so I'm following my peace.

I will be updating you on my weight loss, and I will be talking about this more.
If you do leave a comment on this post - could you please tell me if you are interested in this topic at all? I won't talk about it alot - perhaps once a week or so - letting you know how it's going - the challenges I'm facing.

I remember telling one of my friends, that if I didn't beat this weight loss thing once and for all by the time I was 50, I was giving up.
I was gonna get a short gray perm, start smoking, get acrylic nail tips and wear pink sweatshirts with pictures of kittens and yarn balls.
I gots 16 months y'alls.

I'm weary of the fight.
I'm scared.
I feel very vulnerable putting this on the blog.



But - I have peace.
I know I didn't verbalize all of this the way I wanted to, but I just needed to get it out there.
Thanks for reading. Thanks for being here. I appreciate y'all so very, very much.


73 comments:

  1. Your plan is great. Portion control and ride that bicycle. It is fun and you go someplace! I lost 70 lbs. about 5 years ago by eating good, fresh, healthy food and I would never change back. Don't skip the egg yolks! (I have chickens too!)

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  2. I too have had a weight problem most of my life and like you have tried almost every diet out there. When I am on a diet, I feel depressed and angry. Now I am 52 and have passed all those markers that I thought would motivate me to lose weight. I feel like I have wasted so much time worrying about my weight that I almost haven't lived. I like your idea of cutting your intake by half and exercise. I think I will try to join you on this journey!

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  3. Jayme, first of all, let me just say I love your blog! You are so open about anything and everything, and with a wit and humor I appreciate. I feel you were very brave to put this post out there for the world to read. I also have been in your shoes and can relate. I still have about 30-40 lbs. I'd like to lose. Will I do it? Don't know but at least I have lived long enough that I have learned to quit beating myself up over it. I am doing like you, just trying to cut portions, but if I mess up its ok and I get back on track asap. Hoping you are successful in your endevors. I'll be back to cheer you on!!!

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  4. Law, Ya'll. (Mmm Hmmm)

    I am evah so proud of you. You inspire. I can't remind you enough that I am rooting for you. You're so smarty, Marty. I know you can do this. And thank you for sharing it with us and I will read your words to the end of the world and back, no matter they topic.

    ps- Did you really have that dream? That's one for the record books. I shan't tell Fabio about that one... He dreamed just last week that his closet came alive and "took him". Law.

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  5. Oh, I anguish all the time about my weight.....I have 25 to lose, but it might as well be 125.
    I have finally come to the conclusion that I should eat to be healthy, not to be thin.
    And when I do, I at least maintain my weight, and feel better.
    Do what feels right.
    Don't beat yourself up.
    Life is too damn short.

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  6. You hit the nail on the head! I feel exactly the same about dieting as you do. I get depressed because eating is the one thing that makes me feel good and then I get anxious because I have to go out looking like this.
    I can't wait to hear more of your thoughts on this. Thank you. Law!

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  7. I have two months until I turn 50 and I DO NOT intend to get a gray perm, start smoking and wear sweatshirts with kitties and yarn LOL! I do however want to lose the extra weight I have put on during menopause and after quitting smoking. I want to look good in my clothes and I want to have more energy! I think you have a great plan, and I will be following along with you! Remember, 50 is the new 40. I keep repeating that to myself over and over.
    P.S. I have The Help waiting at the library to be picked up tomorrow.

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  8. Oh Jayme good for you. Stick to it. I have had to diet all my adult life. And I got so tired of it that around 40 I just stopped. Mistake. Now I try and it seems nothing comes off. I'm only 5 foot so an extra 10 pounds feels like an extra 20 to me and the extra 20 plus I have feels like an impossible feat. I am so impressed when people loose so much more than that and I cannot even take off 20. Maybe you should head up a club and we should all join? You are such a great cheer leader how could we not loose (win)! If I tell hubs I can only eat 1/2 portion maybe he will remind me. I got back on the treadmill the other day but I felt like I would be back in physical therapy the next. I think I need to just push through it. Your an inspiration for sure.

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  9. new reader.. and I love your blog..

    I'm in the SAME boat you are.. so don't feel like your alone..
    we're the same age and same problem w/weight.. ::sighs:: sucks huh?
    BUT finding Peace is a start.. and dang good start..

    Keep us posted..

    Denise in TN

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  10. I would like to say Don't Beat Yourself Up! My Best Friend since high school had the same problem and eventually gastric bypass. I'm NOT going to insult you with gastric bypass blah ~~blah,Please keep reading.
    She found out (later after surgery) her metablolism had shut down and she needed to eat more often during each day (YES, I said MORE) Most women are guilty of these two things #1~~over eating a large meal once a day or #2 eating alot of sugar/carbs to make up for our starving bodies! YES, we gain weight and are starving ourselves!
    PLEASE, don't throw the egg yolk away ever again!
    Please research this for yourself!! I hope this may help you adjust and follow the path that is right for you.

    ~~HUGS~~

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  11. puuhhleeeze no pink sweatshirts with kittens and yarn balls...I couldn't take it.
    If you need someone to walk with I would be happy to join you. Now the bike ride thing is kind of hard for me as my bike is too big for me..haha. I have to tip over a bit to the side to jump off the bike. My feet do not touch the ground and I am afraid I would embarrass myself so.
    We all have obstacles..one of mine is my short stature.
    I'm cheering you on all the way. I am reading whatever you like to write about:)
    If you don't mind, I have a high school friend that now lives in TN and she wants to meet you when she visits our town again. Ironically, she had mentioned the garden walk and I sent her the link to your blog. She loved it!
    Ooooh and I thought of you the other day when the neighbor's goats got out of the fence and were munching on grass in the ditch. Thought I had to be a goat wrangler, but by the time I got over there..they were already back in the fence. WheW! Hubby rigged up some rope to help cover the hole in the fence.
    (~~)
    Thanks for the ((((HUGS))) today.

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  12. Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for being brave and courageous and transparent. You are helping many women who face the same issues as you do. I will take liberty in assuming you might like to hear my story :) One day a group of mom's I know started a running group. They asked me to join them. "I can't" I replied..."I'm one biscuit away from a heart attack!" I was 50 lbs over weight. I lay in bed that night in silence....tears quietly rolling down my cheeks and into my ears. "I can't" was a broken record playing over and over in my mind. "But WHY can't I??" It was my moment. I suddenly was filled with a peace that I cannot explain. I didn't follow a plan, or a book or a celebrity. I did what you are doing. I ate half of what I had been eating. I gave up nothing. I exercised...don't laugh...3 minutes on the elliptical is all I could handle the first day, and the second, and the third. But 3 minutes turned to 4, then 5 and so on. I lost my 50 lbs...I have kept it off. This was/is more than just a journey of weight loss...it's a journey of self discovery. Finding out exactly what your capable of....reminding yourself of all the things you have accomplished and/or overcome in the past. Blessings to you on your journey!! <3

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  13. Thank you, Jayme, for sharing your heart with us. You've got my prayers...and I just want to say that what you are going to do WILL work! That's what I've been doing and it does work. Proud of you!

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  14. Jayme, you will make it,I just know it. After all look at everything you have accomplished so far. Bee keeping,teaching, gardening, rug looming,chicken taming, bread baking...You are going to make it because Peace will be your guide. And Dolly will be thrilled she made it to your blog. I once read that she had said, she always dreamed of having enough money some day to have a canopy over her bed, instead of a can of pee under her bed!

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  15. Love your blog and your realness. Very few people don't struggle with weight issues. I lost 50 lbs 16 years ago...it took God's help to get it off and it takes God's help to keep it off...but He does help me. Now most people don't even know I was ever heavy.

    With His help, cutting your intake and exercising, it will happen. Don't focus too much on the scales, just focus on getting healthy.

    Elizabeth
    http://www.justfollowingjesus.com

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  16. Jayme, good for you! I like the idea that you are NOT depriving yourself. Excellent.

    May I plant something for you to think about as your next step? When you're ready, if you're having a sandwich and salad for example, try eating a BIG salad and doing away with the sandwich. Swap good food for bad food, but stuff yourself stupid with the good. It's my belief the carbs will hold you back from a loss. And you need some sign that this is working if you're putting in the work.

    Incidentally, I just picked up the Curves book I found at a thrift store. I aim to read it again. I lost 25 lb with their diet and working out 3x a week and the trigger was starving the body of carbs long enough for the barrier to break through. Only then did the weight loss transpire. And it kept rolling off without me trying as long as I stayed on the low carb intake.

    More info than you may want to hear at this time, but know, you are not alone in your battle! I'll be watching, learning and supporting you. :)

    Donna

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  17. Does this mean we can share our hamburger at the Tastee Top? If so...I'm IN! If not, I'm still in, but you're on the right track! Been there....still there. I've got 60 to loose too. We're soul sistas I tell ya!!

    'hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that dough sistas'...{i'll pretend she's singin' about bread dough!}

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  18. We must be on the same wavelength. Just thought today that I have 18 months until I turn 50 and am determined to be the most heathy and slim that I've ever been. I even picked up the book Women, Food and God (Geneen Roth) today for inspiration. Of course I don't think I ate anything of nutritional value today so you have now inspired me to get it together and start for real. thanks! I'll be a lurker but will be cheering you on.

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  19. Jayme,
    It seems there a several of us dealing with almost the same exact struggle. I just turned 50 in May, and fully intended on being in better shape, but. My problem is I say, I'll start tomorrow. Well, guess what. I just recently talked with my Dr. because I KNOW I have to do something about my weight. She's a really sweet lady, but her suggestion was Opitfast. A total liquid diet for quick loss! Well, besides the fact it is expensive, I like to chew my food. All my friends who have lost a good amount of weight in a short time have all gained it back! I really don't want to go that route. So funny, you have Dolly in this post. You know how she lost her weight right? Yep, she ate anything she wanted, but only two bites of it. So I'm with you on this, portion control...and healthier choices. I'll be following along on your blog. I think we can all encourage each other. And I'm not giving up my yolks, I have 26 chickens in my coop!

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  20. Firstly, I'd be happy to hear you talk about anything.

    I've heard if you use a smaller plate, you don't notice the smaller portion.

    I'm rooting for you, with every ounce of my being.

    Hugs, Sarah x

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  21. Yes! This will work...matter of fact, I'm going on it with you as I have probably 100# to lose, more or less. LOL. Another suggestion from one who has been there many times...eat s-l-o-w-l-y. It takes about 20 minutes for your stomach to tell your brain its satisfied... so just chew thoroughly and slow down. I don't mind reading blogs about weight loss (once every couple weeks is just about right) if they are written by someone who really needs to lose it and not by someone who is about as big as a minute! That just plain makes me mad. I'm quite a few years older than you and have arthritis now. I am unable to exercise like I should because of that and so it makes it harder to burn off the food. But from now on...I'm doin' what you're doin'...eatin' only HALF. (I do SO love my sweets) Good luck to us all...(high fives all around). We CAN do this.
    I love your blog...its like sitting at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and chatting. Big hugs!

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  22. What's wrong with yarn balls?!!?! Ok - so I posted on my blog yesterday that I had a hot flash. My third one ever. What I didn't post is that was right after eating 1 1/2 glazed donuts from the donut shop one block away! Hey, I would have eaten two but I shared with my hubby. And I felt crappy all day. I woke up this morning with the idea of eating healthy. You just reinforced that idea. Let's do it together. I was thinking this morning, even before reading your post, that I need to lose about 50 pounds. I keep gaining and gaining and gaining. I'm 52. I didn't lose the weight at the monumental 50 age limit that I thought I would, but now I'm so ready. I was doing very well just eating healthy back in May, but lost the motivation. Let's help keep each other motivated. Maybe have a big meet & greet when we are all healthy lookin' again! I'll stop blabbing now, but just know, I'm with ya.

    Cindy

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  23. I think you speak for so very many of us, Jayme, and we listen to everything you say cause we just love ya like that, okay? I have been 50-75 pounds over weight for about 7-8 years now. I just can NOT go the diet type route again either...the time consuming brain drain of what I eat, how much and when..nope, I'm done with that. I had convinced myself for a while that I'd just be fat instead of food yo-yo, but guess what? My energy isn't half what it should be and I like to be BUSY! SO, I am right there with ya! I am going for portion control too but allowing myself to eat ALL I want of veggies and fruits. And I am committed to exercise a different way. At least 3 10 minutes spurts for 5 days a week. Whether it is 10 min of squats, or whatever, it = toning and moving! Yep, it IS all about PEACE! If it doesn't sit well in my heart, I just ain't gonna do it! I may not look like Miss America-ever, but I sure would love to feel better about myself...let's go, girlfriend!

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  24. Jayme, I wish you all the best on your journey. Believe in yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to!!

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  25. Yes, Yes, Yes!!! Don't stop blogging about weight loss. We will encourage each other.
    Here is my creed:
    I will not make food #1 important.
    I will only eat when I am hungry and stop when I am satisfied, not full or stuffed.
    Food does not equal happiness.
    My family can live perfectly great lives without my home baked goodies.
    My fridge will survive without ice cream in it.
    My husband can feed himself.
    I will exercise to feel better, sleep better, and be healthier.

    I am with you...

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  26. I feel your pain. I've gained so much weight over the past 2 years. Everyone says, oh, you're not fat. Right. I know they are saying that just to make me feel better. I hate myself most days. I hate myself when I'm sitting there eating, even when I'm hungry. But you aren't the only one out there, if that makes you feel any better.

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  27. Jayme
    I always enjoy eading your blog.The chickens are my favorite I would love to have some one day ,but that will have to wait till I retire in a few more years.

    I also struggle with my weight and always have.Two monthe ago I started the couch to 5k plan because I have always dreamed of being a runner.I love the plan becuase you just take each day at a time and build up to "running" a 5k race.
    I will be following and keeping up with your chickens and your progress.Keep up the good work .I know you wil be sucessful.
    Best Wishes
    Brenda

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  30. Sorry It posted the same comment 3 times

    Brenda:(

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  31. Eating "half" does work. I've been doing it for 3 weeks now, and lost 5 lbs. Even in this heat! It is a good plan, and easier to stick with than any others - even Weight Watchers! Cheers to YOU!

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  32. Jayme, that sounds like a beautiful, realistic, and HAPPY plan. Good for you for following your peace...YES!! I was overweight at the end of college and the two years after that...a lot of it was due to stress, not knowing how to cook, and a transient lifestyle which meant fast-food...once I settled down, I never said no to any foods, I just eat what I enjoy in "normal" quantities and replaced Coke with water. I lost so much weight and wasn't "thinking" about it. There is something so true about "all things in moderation"...eat anything, just not lots :)
    I am rooting for you and cheering you...enjoy this lovely journey that you are on!

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  33. You are such a fun gal friend, even when you're lamenting and unsure. LOVE LOVE LOVE your kitties n yarn comment - I'm way too afraid of sharing my true catty self on my blog, thus its soooo boring! You have the biggest fan club all trying to face the same fears. I don't know if they ever really get beat forever but I'm positive you'll get a good grip on it all. I think the anxiety is a function of hormones n aging myself. Plus plain ol' fatigues! I loved what you posted on peace! I myself have no will power. NONE. All I can do is remove temptation or tell myself some things I just do not eat. For me going gluten free has done wonders. I am truly amazed at my overall increase in energy. I'm w/Donna. All those carbs were my enemy. Now I eat chips, cheese, chocolate, bacon, ice cream etc etc etc plus LOTS of fruit n veggies. Yes, I do try to stock it all in the lowest calorie form possible. Without changing exercise or depriving myself at all I've lost 15 pounds. And that motivates me for more. I'm sure if I cut out my wine I'd lose more, but I don't wanna! I think diets are God awful. DO what makes you HAPPY!!! Everything falls into place much easier after that.
    (((HUGS)))
    Leslie
    Talkin' bout wordy, yikes - SORRY!

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  34. Good for you Jayme. I just read your post to my husband. He asked me if you wrote that or I was just saying those things because that is what I had been saying to him about us. Cut back, cut it in half and you still get those things you enjoy. No plan, just less of it. I admire you for putting out there what many of us are going through. We are with you!

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  35. I'll be here cheering you on. Smaller portions, exercise and a smile on your face and you can do it.

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  36. love that you use "law"....reminds me of my southern roots. I have also decided to join you on plan portion control....it is such a good thing that we all should be practicing! Thank you for the inspiration!

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  37. I think you're on the right track by putting your issue into words. I too am overweight and lack inspiration. After years of putting the kids first, I am clueless when it comes to putting myself first. I am glad I came across this post because it might just provide the inspiration I so need. Thanks for sharing.

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  38. Jayme, I joined the online WW, but it took all of two days to get tired of counting points. I'm still ordering snacks from them. But I'm doing my own thing, as I'm a maverick anyway. I've lost 8 pounds since July 23rd. If I go out, I automatically take half the food and ask for a to-go box. Try stretching-type yoga. Been doing it 14 years. I'm 53, and I'm quite flexible. I can touch my forehead with my big toe. And that's around my tummy!
    Brenda

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  39. Yes, stay with whatever plan gives you peace.

    Last year I went from a 14 to a 10 (I need a new profile photo) and I did it eating healthy food that I "love."

    You can do this! Find the healthy foods that you love and can eat less of and stay healthy. For me they are the foods I still want to eat and so the weight stays off.

    Have fun and enjoy the journey. Smiles and hugs.

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  40. We will be cheering you on! From reading your blog I can see you are a fun loving girl... so keep it up! Smile and enjoy life :~)

    Blessings,
    The Chicken Keepers

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  41. *So* delurking for this one. I am proud of you and counting on you to keep sharing this journey. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to be vulnerable. It's what makes us realize we're not alone in the world with our chicken coops ;).

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  42. Oh, my sweet friend, I pray that peace continues to carry you through. I woke up at 3:00 this morning in serious back pain that set a journey in motion... See, I had a dream too. Years ago, I dreamt that the enemy came in a big storm cloud and said that I would have sickness and disease...I laughed at him with a joyful spirit of rebuke and even woke up laughing. I was reminded of this dream, and this morning after my fair share of blubberin' and cryin' I realized that Satan isn't a prophet, he's a liar. I decided to make a list of all the lies the enemy has me convinced of. Two pages later there was clearly a trend where the enemy has convinced me that being fat has kept me out of God's grace. The first lie I wrote was, "Fat people don't get miracles" WOW...if that's not right outta the pit of hell I don't know what is...Our journies will take time, but the intention is to have God reveal His truth, and I'm so lookin' forward to it!

    God Bless Ya More and More!
    Heather

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  43. Hi, Jayme. As always, you so eloquently put into words my same thoughts and feelings. I am obsessed with my weight and have been as long as I can remember. And I'm a perfectionist which makes it even more difficult. I like your idea of eating anything you want, only less of it. (your bacon comment was too funny). I do hope you'll continue to talk about this - as often as you need to. Take care.

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  44. PS...I been predictin' fur years that the perm is comin' back. YEA BABY!

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  45. I would highly recommend weighdown.com as a supplement for your first 12 weeks. Good luck!

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  46. Well, this could be my story! I feel your indecision. I have cried out to God show me the answer and I always come back to ????? I have made a commitment with you to lose these 30 lbs and get healthy. I have been exercising all summer and now the food issues are going to be addressed. I am so sick of food voices in my head... eat this not that , shaming me all the while. I'll pray for you. Keep me in your too pleez!! I'll be readin.....

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  47. Jayme,
    You are such brave bee! I love how share so much about this journey. I've always had to be careful about my weight and I'm guilty of being so hard on myself and talking mean to myself. I'm also tired of thinking about this same amount of weight that I never seem to lose and feeling like I have to put all the good things off until I have lost them. I think your ideas sound great and I'm rooting for you all the way!

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  48. Jayme, you make me smile...I am a 54 year old woman, since going through the dreaded change I now have a terrible time with weight, BUT, no diets....I pretty much eat whatever but watch sugars since I am pre- diabetic....cut back on junk etc...I want to enjoy life! Linda

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  49. Well, Jayme...as you can see from all the comments, you're not alone. I think you are on the right track. Nothing earth shattering, just smaller portions and move more. I will keep you in prayer. Glad you'll be keeping us posted. Blessings, Patty

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  50. Trying to be the best you.....that's something for all of us to take to heart, Jayme. I know you can do this - you can do anything you set your chicken loving mind to. And remember - the society has your back.

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  51. I've lost weight several times on traditional diets--but I always regained. Got sick of it all, decided I'd had it. Discovered the book Intuitive Eating-- and it helped me find a better way to deal. If you get a chance to read it, do...in the meantime your plan is great...beats a 'diet' any day. I wish I'd known about eating intuitively years ago. I wasn't fat until I went on a diet. Silly me.

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  52. well Jayme, looks like you opened the floodgates here. I quit smoking 7 years ago, put on 45 pounds and haven't looked in a full length mirror, not once, since. Went to my family reunion last weekend in jeans and a baggy tshirt. Doesn't look like your journey will be a lonely one!!! Love ya...cheryl

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  53. By the number of comments you are very aware you are not alone and you are well thought of. I dont know you but the way you write and your transparency...well you write what others feel but can't articulate. I would like to just like myself, flaws, scars, fears, weakness included. The journey to find peace is in the process and with God the journey may not be calm but he is there to comfort in the storm.

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  54. You verbalized it wonderfully Jayme.
    You said what I have said and felt for most of my adult years.
    Having peace is half the battle, I still seek for peace.
    Even though I may not be as heavy as I once was, I still search for peace and contentment with who I am.
    I am beginning to think that I have been blaming it solely on the weight and need to just love and appreciate where I am each and every day regardless of what the scale says.
    Please keep us posted as I think this may help my thought process as well.

    Thanks !

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  55. Oh my goodness can I relate!!! I'm so proud of you~You are inspiring!! I too am consumed by the thoughts about my weight and I'm sick of it. I need to loose about 40 lbs~BLEK! I couldn't believe it when I read what you planned to do (your peace). Cut everything in half~Why didn't I think of that??? SO simple and a perfect way to start things out without kicking yourself in the head over and over again!!! Thank you for posting about this, I look forward to reading about your progress!! You are not alone in this!
    Carissa

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  56. I too have lost weight and gained it all back and then some. It is a constant battle and I know how hard it is to shed the pounds. It seems I just look at food and I gain weight. Your idea sounds good, half of everything. I also am thinking of eating at lot more salads. It worked for my friend.

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  57. I don't like being told what I HAVE to do in order to lose weight. I don't like keeping track of calories or carbs. I don't want to read a book about weight loss. I don't want to watch a video.

    Losing weight, for me at least is just like it was when I quit smoking cigarettes. It's a decision to make the commitment of being healthy.

    You already said it, Jayme. Eat less, move more. That's what I'm doing and it's working. It's not about what you have to give up, it's about what you get.

    Wishing you luck, Sweetie!
    Di

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  58. Your Canadian FriendAugust 17, 2010 at 3:27 PM

    I've been SO out of touch, I'm sorry :( For some reason your blog was inaccessible from work for a while but no more (maybe they thought you would corrupt our firewall or sumpin). Today I decide to come take a look, and look at the topic. How prophetic....I'm sure our brains are connected sometimes. I'm there with you Jaym... The more things change the more they remain the same... miss you... maybe with the cooler weather there will be more time to write. There's hope :P

    Hugs to you and talk soon...

    Chris

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  59. Jayme, I could have written this post. I've gained 100 pounds since I met my husband. (Now, we were 16 at the time, so I guess I should cut myself a little slack) I'm 5'3" and weigh 234. Time is measured by what I weighed when (I think you mentioned that once too). I can't make myself go to class reunions because I haven't seen hardly anyone since high school and I don't want to be "that" girl (I was thin and very athletic then). I can totally sympathize with the mental control weight has on you and the anxiety that comes along with it. I worry I'm going to end up with heart failure and diabetes like my dad. So don't eat so much, people will judge. I feel miserable when I can't have my chocolate fix, or whatever it is that I'm craving at that particular time. Food is my comfort unfortunately. I like your idea and pray it works for you. Maybe one scoop of ice cream after dinner instead of the entire bowl full would be OK. Good luck Jayme. You are NOT alone.

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  60. Jayme,
    What a great start! Your words are inspirational! I can definitely relate to the life long battle. I don't even own a t.v., but caught an Oprah episode at my parents house last week. This book sounds like just what I need to wrestle with the internal battle which is the likely the cause for my battle with food too. Maybe we can read it together? Let me know if you're interested:
    http://www.oprah.com/health/An-Excerpt-from-Geneen-Roths-Women-Food-And-God

    Sandy

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  61. I like your current plan.
    Additionally, I also think every time you went out to eat--park your vehicle 2 miles away and walk TO the Cafe to eat and then walk the 2 miles back.
    Go to different places for a salad and walk a distance to and from there back to your vehicle. You will see different scenery each time. A friend of mine did this for 6 months and lost 25 lbs and went from a size 28 to a size 14, and has kept it off. She also met interesting folks and took great photos of her "walking" adventures.

    Also,how do you get 7 photos in one box, like you have on this posting ? Point me in the right direction.

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  62. You are such an inspiration. Bless your heart for putting it all out there for us to read. I am behind you all the way. I have been an a healthy eating routine for about 3 weeks. When I go to my Dr. appt next Wednesday I will see how I have done.
    I am a cancer survivor going on two years. I have prayed for God's healing, but in my heart I heard Him say "what about a little personal responsibility. " So I am in this with you all the way.
    Keep us posted
    Yes I need to loose 25 lbs.

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  63. I wish I would have read this post before commenting on your most recent one, now I feel like a noodle! Durrr!

    Your plan to lose weight is about the ONLY sensible way to go about it, IMHO. Deprivation never works... what works is to eat what makes you feel both happy and energized and keep being the busy bee that you are because it's hard to think about food (and eat!) when tending to the flock, the gardens, the hives, the house!

    And you'll see your shape change in no time.

    It's not magic, it's common sense and you gots it, babe!

    That, and bootiliciousness just as you are ;-)

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  64. Jayme, I too am in the same boat. I have had a weight problem my entire life. I have tried a zillion different diets and have lost and gained alot of weight. Starved off 80# twice but have always put it back on. I am not comfortable in my skin, let alone clothing. I have siblings with numerous health problems (diabetic, high blood pressure, heart problems, stroke) and I know I am headed there if I don't get a handle on this. I will try to take this journey with you and hope to find peace as well. Thanks

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  65. I am with you Jayme!! Been struggling with weight all of my life..... have been exactly where you have been weight wise ... in the most recent have lost 70 pounds and just got married and gained back 24 since Feb... How ironic I read this today when this is the day I decided to stop fooling around and do something about it!! Back to the eating right for me and exercising!!!!

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  66. Hugs to you for the journey you're on. I was just reading some really heart-filling words about battles with food over at Lysa TerKeurst's blog, at: http://lysaterkeurst.com/ I think her last 3 posts, or so, are relating to food choices, and may give you some "food" for thought. Punny, I know.

    Enjoy your peace, and keep striving to maintain it! :)

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  67. You have one heck of a virtual support network Jayme! I just wanted to throw my hat in the air to you. I am hoping that this change brings you peace and a new comfort.

    I made a similar choice last Spring and am now at home in my new skin. For the first time in 20 years I weigh what I did when I stopped growin' up and started growin' out.

    You are the part of this process that will matter!

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  68. I hear ya'. I'm relating. I'm a little late joining this party, but I'm here. You've inspired me. I was thin most of my adult life until about 10 years ago when my thyroid failed then a year or so ago when menopause visited my bod. Not that I haven't had an overeating problem. I was advised both times that I would need to eat less and exercise more. Advice I didn't heed. Now I'm backtracking.

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  69. I'm with you girl! I'm 51 and mad that I let the hardwork of losing 25 lbs I lost a couple years ago creep back on. how could I??? I have felt all the same things as you...and am back at work on it again.
    Shoot, I don't even recognize myself in the mirror anymore!

    Thanks for your honesty...you put all my thoughts into your words perfectly!

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  70. Every time I count out my points for the day I will give you a "shout out". Weight loss/gain is my cross to bear as well so you are definitely not alone. Keep your chin up! Becki

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  71. How smart you are -- go for the Peace! What if ... each one of us is here to find our unique way. By following your peace, you are doing that. Thank you for the inspiration.

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Thanks so much for leaving a comment!