This is one I really wasn't planning on.
This change has been toying with me. It's been rearing it's head a little - with the trouble sleeping, the fatigue....
But - last night - oh last night -
I woke up wondering why in the sam hill Glenco turned the furnace on.
By the time I was fully awake, I realized what was happening.
Sheets flying, nightgown ripping.
Law.
I was having a hot flash. Or a night sweat.
Or I died and went to hell.
Or Glenco indeed had the furnace on.
I feel like I've survived an initiation into a new club.
A club of women that talk about hot flashes.
And dry places.
And thinning hair and mood swings.
I promise to limit my menopause drivel.
Tomorrow I'll be talking about the change I want to make.
The big reveal, if you would.
I'll be sharing my 'plan'.
Until then - you'll find me in the fridge.
I'm so sorry to laugh at this post. Too funny, and true.
ReplyDeleteTake care and it doens't last forever! Thank Goodness.
Oh how I wish Blogger would let us correct typos in the comments.
ReplyDeleteToo bad it doesn't!
Girlfriend, you are cracking me UP!!!
ReplyDeleteBut don't feel bad...because I'm 28 and get hot flashes ALL the time. Fo' real, homey.
Seein' the first picture on my dashboard and your title made me think I was going to be readin' something spiritual, of the revival sorts. Which would have been great...really! BUT OMG...you sure do keep me guessin'.
ReplyDeleteBTW...don't be joshin' me on that camper invite ... or the bacon either!...I had everyone in the house read the message...Overall consensus was, "Is she teasin'?"
PS..The dogs face is priceless in the second picture. For some reason it reminds me of my husband.
:) Welcome! {Sorry} We'll survive it together, we will.
ReplyDeleteJayme!! :) I haven't been posting much, but still reading your blog faithfully! And cracking up at it too!! :) Can't wait to hear about your plan!
ReplyDeleteWell, Welcome to the MPC...if you can sweat and roast, cry and laugh at the same time you are a member in good standing! lol I am afraid to tell you that I sailed right through menopause without any problems at all. Didn't even have a hot flash. But I was older-late 50's & I understand it is easier the older you are...one of the few things that is easier! lol
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear your new revealed plan. You know how I hate secrets-hurry and tell us! Diana
Yes, my dear....welcome to the club! I think I stay in a perpetual state of hot flash...(sigh)!
ReplyDeleteKeep that sweat rag handy,
Susie
Yep… welcome to the club!!! Thrashing sheets doesn't always mean hot sex…. it just means HOT. I suggest a fan. on. high.
ReplyDeleteOh, honey, I feel it with you. Luckily it comes and goes for a long time. My favorite quote: "a hot flash is my inner child playing with matches!" I remember losing my sister-in-law in my house one time while she was visiting...I found her flat on the living room floor, spread eagle, face up to the ceiling fan on high! Funniest thing I've ever seen.
ReplyDeleteLOL--join the club lady friend. I've been enduring this for the past year or longer. I swing from freezing to burning on fire...rarely "normal". NO fun.
ReplyDeleteHave fun with it though...that's all you can do!
xoxo
Welcome to the club! I've had hot flashes since my surgery and there are times when I want to live in the fridge. Try taking a daily dose of vitamin e and drinking soy milk, it helps me. I also searched for homeopathic remedies (for menopause) online and there are many more things you could try. Good luck and think positive!!!
ReplyDeleteLOL! Love the pic...Dog looks a little on edge...
ReplyDeleteyeah...thank goodness there are women who have completed that part of the journey... jumpin' and shoutin' ...saying they survived and we will too, or heck...all women would be living in Alaska during this time, and all families, fowl, animals and duties would be out the window...
whew...Keep askin' my mom...WHEN did you say you got over this???
This too, yes....shall pass. Killer in the summertime though!!!! Hugs...okay...NO hugs...too sweaty....pinkies or how about the new gang symbols????
:-)
How did you manage to take that pic of me standing in front of the fridge?
ReplyDeleteI like to refer to my "spells" as "my own personal summer"..... a season that lasts all year long!
Welcome lady!
Next you will be announcing you are tired of living the lie -- you are really a chicken trapped in a human body so you are going to another country to have that species change operation you have been saving for. You only hope you make it back to Glenco without being plucked, stuffed or shaked and baked. No wonder you are stressed. How ever will you garden with no hands? Consider how long it will take to tap out a blog post with your beak.
ReplyDeleteAlso what's with this "Law." I get enough of that in school. Can't you substitute it with another profession? Wouldn't Domestic Engineer or Veterinary Science be more appropriate than "Law"?
Yes, I am smiling. Hope you are too!
Your Friend,
Deborah
If you were living in the SF Bay Area right now, you WOULD have turned on the furnace. :>) Sorry you'd had such a rude awakening. Your post cracks me up for two reasons: 1) you're an incredibly fun writer to read; and 2) it reminded me they've written a musical for it! I went to their page and looks like you'd have to drive to Ohio to see it.
ReplyDeleteHere's their link: http://www.menopausethemusical.com/main.php?page=show
I kid you not - it's for real.
Good luck with all the heat! ~ Conny
That last pic - I want that on my t-shirt! LOL
ReplyDeleteYour blog, your thoughts and life experiences. I always love sharing it with you :)
*passes Jayme an ice pack*
Law, Jayme... all you have to do is say 'Law' to crack me up. Then this meno-chango stuff..! :D Thanks for the smiles today - I will send you frigid thoughts. Oh, that sounded bad ;) -T
ReplyDeleteDon't forget about the hair growing where it never grew before.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Conny- I liked Menopause the Musical so much I bought the soundtrack.
kim
It's a club? I thought I had been living in my own personal steam room! My family just gives me the look over my hot flashes, it's the mood swings that they know to take cover! lol
ReplyDelete~G~
sending cool breezes your way!
JaymeG:
ReplyDeleteHi from your fav fan in Evanston, you crack me up..I've been post menopause now for awhile, and let me say that it's better to be in front of an air con vent than the fridge. It does get a bit worse before its better, but I do feel free Free FREE!...and started wearing white jeans for the first time in my life about 10 years ago (wink and nudge, you know why!) My hair is thinning but that doesn't happen to all women and I became a calmer person too, so there's more good stuff-not just flashing. Welcome to the club, it may be downhill but the company's good and the walkin's easier!
Jaimieb in IL
Congratulations to the club. You have now joined the "M" age. Just go with the flow and adjust as needed. Hugs, dogwood.
ReplyDeleteWell, cripes a mighty.. did a long comment, hit enter and it said service not available. I give up.
ReplyDeleteI hate sweating. This is not very good news. I need a plan of action before I get hit!
ReplyDeleteHow long do these flash things last?!? Would emerg icepacks help? Leave up the kiddie pool year 'round?
Thanks for the laff! But it's always funnier when it hits someone other than ourselves.
Donna
When Hell arrived at my house, I found that those personal handheld battery-operated fans were a godsend, I had several scattered around the house. Hold it right in yer face. Eventually my flashes became so severe (read: non-stop) that I made the very difficult choice to go on hormones, even though that worries me mightily. But I'm not a typical case, they tell me, so don't let me scare you. All those soy products, herbal remedies, vitamins, creams, yada-yada, didn't help me at all - but the fans did!
ReplyDeleteBTW, Aunts Jean & Gladys, and my mother, always said "They law," not just "Law." Is that how your mother said it?
It happens to the best of us girl!
ReplyDeletewow - that is funny - I sure got a laugh! I'm fortunate - no hot flashes. My mom was like that too - and I'm glad. I heard nightmares about THE CHANGE - so, whatchagonna do aboutit??
ReplyDeleteThey are not Hot Flashes ... they are "Power Surges" :)
ReplyDeleteJayme, I repeat...DO NOT put plastic on your bedroom window this winter! Even when it was reaching zero, I would fling my windows open in the middle of the night to cool off! My husband thought I was insane and had extra blankets on his side of the bed. The mood swings are fun too! It does get better after a few years :)
ReplyDeleteAh, you have been officially inducted into a very prestigious club and I want to welcome you! Not that I want to throw any more at you than you are already processing but, I have been a practicing member of that club for 8 years and I keep getting the benefits everytime I think I am moving on.
ReplyDeleteWelcome to my world!!! Nothing like having your own private summer!!!!
ReplyDeleteMy condolances!!
Tell me about it! In the dead of winter I would stand outside in a cotton nightie. (In the dark of course!)
ReplyDeleteWell bummer, I know how you are feeling. Been having those hot flashes for a few years now. I am not having them during the day to often now unless I get flustered. But the night time ones, nothing like loosing sleep while throwing blankets all over the place and then getting cold and not finding your little corner that hubs has taken advantage of grabbing hold of. I'll be checking back tomorrow!
ReplyDeleteI CAN testify, oh yes, I WILL testify....there is LIFE at the end of the menopause nightmare from hell!
ReplyDeleteI know from where I speak, having been down the hotter than hell road for several years. You will triumph!
And it's always fun to pee a little bit when you laugh or sneeze! My own personal furnace is just starting too ~ do try reading about progesterone cream, it seems to help me and a few people I suggested it to. Just look up Dr. Lee and progesterone on the internet. Love your posts, love the chickens! Love everything!
ReplyDelete3 fans in my bedroom!!
ReplyDeleteWhen that fails, I get up {b/c I'm awake ANYHOW!}, go downstairs and punch buttons until the thermostat say's 66 degrees!
Hubby is freezing.
I pass him my blanket.
Life is good.
The End.
Welcome to my world! Hot flashes are just one of many fun menopausal symptoms. YeeHaw!
ReplyDeleteI know so well. For my birthday this year Tim bought me an air conditioner for our bedroom. It blows ice cold 67 degree air all night long.
ReplyDeleteI.Am.In.Heaven.
Tim on the other hand is under the winter blanket. Life is good! Ha!
My Mama's gonna be so jealous. Mmm Hmmm. And she don't even feel good.
ReplyDeleteJamie,
ReplyDeleteWelcome to a very prestigious club, I feel your heat! I've been post menopausal since 2002. I was only 46 when the big M hit. Now at 54 I'm on the down slope. No more mood swings, night sweats, only the occasional hot flash. My mother, god bless her, bought me Dr. Christian Northrops book The Wisdom of Menopause. I refused to buy it for myself. I was in denial, who wouldn't be at 46. But it was helpful and there is a ton of information in her book that will hopefully put any anxiety you have about menopause to rest. To deal with the mood swings I went on Zoloft for only a year which helped tremendously. You'll get through this. We all do. So hang in there.
Donna
Believe it or not when we gear up for our ivf I'll be in the same boat. The meds I have to take for that gave me horrible hot flashes and mood swings last time. I took them all out on my hubby too! Doesn't hardly seem fair all the things we women have to endure - that they will never even begin to fathom, does it?!
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Did you get the expression - "law" from flowerpatchfarmgirl, or she from you? I'm not positive, but think that I may want to start using it! Do ya know from whence it was derived? sort of a fun saying, no?
ReplyDeleteoh, also can relate to the meno post. Happens to the best of us!! not always fun, just IS what it IS! ...LAW! :-) lv, Shari
Just found your blog through a link on Homestead Revival and love it! Now that you have arrived at our exclusive "club" I suggest you find where "Menopause the Musical" is being presented and go to it with friends! It won't make you any cooler, but it makes it easier to laugh while your roasting! They have a CD that is wonderful to sing along to--We're having a hot flash, a tropical hot flash..."
ReplyDeleteOh man can I relate to this post. For me some days a better than others.
ReplyDeleteJust had my first also! ughhhhh Love the refridge picture. It is perfect! jan
ReplyDeleteGod bless you, dear. But don't worry. We Menopausal Matrons will talk you through it. Just tell Glenco to be on guard and ready to jump back.
ReplyDeleteGood thing you have such a great sense of humor. It comes in handy when you're a member of this club.
ReplyDeleteHi Jayme, I commiserate with your heat. I had a hysterectomy at 39 and found some remedies for the 'power surges'. In chronological order, with the best saved for last!
ReplyDeleteVitamin E 1600 IU daily
Strenuous walk for 1/2 hour or more
Avoid all sugar (yes, sorry)
But the best, that I have used for over 10 years with nary even a mini surge is Progesterone Cream from Aarisse (no, I don't sell it or profit from it in any way other than physical comfort!). Here's the link. I found out about it from the book "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause" by Dr. John R. Lee - a MUST-read! http://www.healthyhormones.com
Phone: 800-675-9329
Shipping is free if you order 2 or more.
My 82 year old mother started using it two years ago (she still had big surges even at her age!) and now has none. And by the way, she doesn't use Vitamin E, she eats sugar, and she doesn't take walks!
Good luck - there is life after the first surge.
PS - I love reading your blog - you make my day! xoxox
oh, it's me again. I forgot to mention that it is like a miracle with the 'dryness' issue. Throw away the lubricants, honey - you won't need them. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd of course, you'll learn in the book about how it promotes healthy, strong bones. Major benefit!
As I approached 50, we lived in South Texas. I asked my doctor how I would know if menopause was starting since I was hot all the time. He said, "South Texas heat is but a mere breeze compared to the discomfort menopause can cause some women!" Crank down the AC girl and hang on for the ride! One good thing, winter feels great!
ReplyDeleteThis is too funny !!! I have to share a hot flash story with you. My wife works for a OBGYN so we have heard some great ones, but this one is from a dear friend. Our friend was in her kitchen cooking dinner when her first FLASH hit, she said she thought she was just heating up from all the hard work over the stove, but then she said that she felt that she was going to self combust, that she was going to break out in flames right there in her kitchen with her then 12 year old son watching, so what does she do??? She has her 12 year old son call 911 to send the FIRE DEPARTMENT, LMAO, she told us that while her son is still on the phone with the fire department, she tells him to tell the person on the other line and I quote here: " Tell the nice people your mother is fine now, no need to send the firemen, she will just go and shower". When she told my wife and I this story we about pee'd our pants laughing and we still do everytime we tell it and we tell it often.....
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and yours
Curtis & Sherrie
Jayme - I feel like I've been away for ever. I've missed you! As for menopause, we're all here for you. The "pre" stuff is so much worse, so I can sympathize with you there. Listen to the vitamin E pushers; use it and the cream. They both work wonders. Also, strip anything off your bed that isn't 100% cotton, and that means mattress pads too. Once the night sweats pass, life will be much easier. Sending you hugs!
ReplyDeleteLaw, Jaymes! You poor thing! Perhaps it's best that cooler days are on their way.
ReplyDeleteHopefully, you will have an easy time of the "change" and it will pass by quickly. Mine did. And I must tell you that after... I have lots of energy and I feel like a kid again. So, go with it... get yourself some cool clothes. Dress in layers, so you can take stuff off when you need to. Keep your sense of humor. Don't stress.
ReplyDeleteOh honey I have been in the throes of it for awhile... it gets better. Those hot night sweats...yikes..(said in an English accent) I can just feel it!
ReplyDeleteBeen there and done it. But it only lasted about a year!!!! The fridge looks like a good idea.
ReplyDeleteGinger
Oh boy! Those picturessay it all, and I have been there, done that! It does get better, honest!
ReplyDeleteBarb
Been playing with fire a little myself lately!
ReplyDeletehttp://septemberthemarch.blogspot.com/2010/03/why-my-husband-is-reponsible-for-me.html
Is it hot in here?
How do men get off so easy??!!Well, at least you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, me being 57 with no sign of what a hot flash is can be depressing. My doctor told me if I could go another year or so I might make the record!! Wow, he sure knows how to hurt a gal!!
ReplyDelete