On Letting Go

A funny thing happened today as I decided to clean out the basement.

No, I didn't fall down the stairs.

Another hot day here in Indiana has me sequestered in the house.

I decided I'd get down in the basement and try to make some sense of it all.

I'm wanting to paint the walls and make it a little less dark and dank.

I became a tad overwhelmed at the project.

Piles.

Stuff.

Things I felt so desperate to have at one time, and to hold on to.

Great treasures to me in the past, now in a box in the basement.

I organized it by theme.

When you love junkin' as much as I do, you tend to accumulate - well - junk.

"I might need this one day"

"Oh, I plan on doing _____ with that one day"

One day.

One year.

A lifetime.

That one day never comes.

I've decided to get rid of the whole lot of it.

Not a whole lot of it.

The whole lot of it.

I was going to Ebay it - I still might a little of it.

Vintage camper parts that I took off The Squirrel.

An industrial sewing machine.

Vintage cuteness that I haven't used in years.

I've come to the point in my life where I realize if I haven't even seen it in a year, let alone used it - chances are I don't really need it.

In the past when I would think of letting go - I would get an image in my head of someone letting go because they didn't have the strength any longer to hold on.

I now believe that letting go requires more strength.

It's what I'm doing in the realm of food as well.

Glenco tells me I'm eating like a bird.

I sure hope not - I read somewhere they eat three times their weight in food a day!

Aaron is constantly asking me now -

"Are you hungry, or are you eating that cause you want it?"

I enjoy the check.

I snapped this picture of my meal the other night. Now, usually I would eat two meatballs, a couple of potatoes, a pile of green beans, the whole ear of corn, and a much, much larger hunk of blueberry bar.

(This is also a great time I could use 'aye law, I can't have anything' - see the chicken eating the watermelon? Glenco was pecking at the melon with my chicken figure)

I have to admit - I felt a little scared when I saw how little food I had, and how small my plate was. I didn't even finish it! I ate slowly, enjoyed each bite, and felt quite satisfied. I saved my watermelon and blueberry bar for the next time I felt hunger. Seems so simple doesn't it?

It's not.

It's simple for a day or two. Then you just want to chew. You just want to grab a handful of something. You want to calm your nerves. You want to eat cause everyone else is eating. You want to eat cause it tastes good.

Something happened today.

I let go.

I let go of food.

It's ok to feel a little hungry.

Food is mighty tasty then.

There's plenty of it here - I don't need to overeat out of fear.

Something happened today.

I let go of stuff.

It's ok not to have so much stuff.

It's ok to have only the things you really use and enjoy.

There's plenty of stuff - I don't need to hoard out of fear.

Something happened today.

I let go of control.

It's ok not to be in control.

It's ok to let someone else live their life without your consent.

I don't need to control anyone or thing - just me.

It's ok.

I feel good.

I feel right.

I feel free.