Wednesday, July 13, 2011

How to Treat Company

Fox in Squirrel.
This is what happens when you have the audacity to show up at my house, and it feels like I've known you forever.
You get treated like kin, not company.

After they arrive bearing gifts and hugs are exchanged, talk their ear off until it's nearly 9pm before you serve them food.
Feed them way late in the night, in a cramped camper - waiting until they are so hungry - that any wheat and dairy free food that you serve them is welcomed, devoured, and seems delicious.

taken by FlowerPatchFarmGirl

After keeping them up half the night talking, make them drive to meet strangers for the day.
Very cute strangers.

After that grueling day, wait until it's nearly dark to serve them supper again.
Make them walk five miles in the hot, heavy night air in a strange town.
Keep them up til 1am watching Extreme Makeover Edition: Weightloss so that we can cry together.
Send them out in the dark humid night to sleep in cramped quarters.

Wake them at 4.

Feed them oatmeal with chocolate protein powder mixed in and take them for a back and bicep workout.

When the company seems worn down to a nub, see them off so they can drive three hours home - without a shower or makeup - still in pajamas.

That's how I roll.
Who's next?


  1. LOVE your writing and sense of humor! I think I am going to try these technics with my parents. :)

  2. Cute night sleeping mask! Very cute.

  3. You can abuse me any time that way!

  4. That sounds more like Boot Camp than vacation! The camper looks very comfy to me, love the quilt!

  5. Me! Me! Me! I'm next!
    Love the mask and quilt. Did you make them?
    Angie in BAMA

  6. Ya could support those, or even more, chickens by charging for those services. Jayme's "One on One boot camp. Gardening and feedin' farm animals thrown in for free! Let us know what you'd charge for a long weekend or two night stay!

  7. her sleep mask kills me! She takes it every where we go! Glad you had fun and I'm anxious to see the woman so I can get the full scoop :)

  8. Sounds and looks like you both had a blast. As for the chickens, you could make them start earning their keep, by selling some eggs. People call me at home to ask if I have eggs to sell.

  9. I know for a fact, that is a good way to get rid of unwanted guest.

    Looks like you all had a wonderful time, where do I sign up? I have been wanting to see "Squirrel" for the longest time and maybe drive off with him while you are not looking. :)

  10. Ha I love it! Taking them to meet FPFG. law.

  11. Well this just warmed my heart right up. Calvin shore do be pining to bed down in the squirrel...

  12. I think Janie could forgive your for anything after being snug as a bug in that quilt!!

  13. I would love every minute.
    When can I come for a visit.
    Love the squirrel.
    Love the quilt.
    Love the sound of nature early in the morning.
    Oh, yes and seeing you in person would be the best of the best.

  14. Too fun! (okay, I lied: I'm not much for the walk in the heat!) Love the eye mask. Yes. love. it.

    As for who's next? I'd pick a cooler month. And, I just may even bring my pet squirrel -- to stay in the squirrel, of course! What a perfect camping companion! :))

  15. Sounds like a great time to me.... Oh, and I love that quilt.

  16. She's one brave woman...and I too love that sleep mask. Cute as can be.

    I'd like to think I could handle all that "love" but not so sure given the old tired state of my body!! :)

    Maybe we'll just meet for a few!


  17. Jayme,

    I think Miss Ruby is crushing on your nephew big time! :)

    Your Friend,

  18. Oh please, me next! All my favorite bloggy girls in one trip! That would be a dream come true ;-)

  19. Oh how I wish I could be next!

  20. I miss the Squirrel. And you.

  21. no.
    I am a huge crankenstein if I don't get plenty of sleep. My mother's rooster makes me angry. I thought they were supposed to crow at the crack of dawn, not at the crack of STILL A MOON OUT.

    Anyhoo, how bout you come to my place. I will sleep more and you can wake up early with the kiddos. Dealsies?

  22. Start charging for boot camp! jan

  23. Sounds kinda fun to me! I love the quilt. It's so cozy looking. Does your camper have AC???

  24. I love it! And I LOVE that quilt! Oh my! :) Be still my heart...

    So glad you had fun!

  25. It isn't a good trip unless you need a vacation after your vacation. :)

  26. What's your connection with Flower Patch Farm Girl? I just happened upon her blog, scrolled down and there you were! I said, "Hey! There's Jayme!" You have the same photo here--okay, I'm going to try to figure this out.


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