Sunday, July 4, 2010

And You Thought My Last Post Was Drivel......



Last Sunday morning, just before a big thunderstorm was about to start, I decided I'd better pick up the big pile of weeds that I'd left on the grass. When I weed, I look like a bargain crazed woman at Filene's Basement digging through the underwear - things just go flying. I clean up the carnage later. As I was walking to the back vegetable garden (which from now on will be called my Shame Garden - more on that later) I noticed something in the cherry tree. My first thought was - how the heck did Aunt Jemima get out of the coop and why in the sam hill is she sitting in the cherry tree? Milliseconds later - I thought it was a hawk - five seconds later, I realized it was my bees.

They'd swarmed.


I panicked.

A little.

I hollered for Glenco. I ran in circles. I called Ed the Bee Guy, no answer. I ran in circles some more.
I ran to the hive, I thought they'd all left...but no...there were still thousands happily going on with their lives not caring that half of the family up and left.



Once I caught my breath, I got a cardboard box, my pruners and Glenco. "Here honey - hold the branch - what we are going to do is to cut the branch and carefully place it in the box."
Easy peasey.
And it was easy - I couldn't get over how easy.
"There - put a lid on it - here, let me put a rock on it - this storm looks like it could get bad."

All the while I'm thinking how awesome I am - I just caught a bee swarm. I imagined my friend's shocked reactions, to which I'd respond "Oh, that? That was no big deal. It was just five pounds of live bees hanging off a branch. Child's play my friend - child's play."



I kept taking pictures, and looking at the bees when the sky broke loose and it started pouring.
I started running.
Now - I don't run.
I walk fast, I skip, I saunter, but this girl doesn't run.
It would be like a bad Japanese movie if I did - I'm sure it would be in slow motion and there would be a sound track.
But, I decide to run - after all, I'm getting soaked, and it means my camera is too - did I tell you I was wearing Crocs? Ya. Ok - so I run - I get to the porch steps and now - cue that soundtrack and slow it down, cause this girl's goin' down - I could actually see myself in slow motion, hollering - twisting - "Saaavveee theeee cammmeeerraaaa" - so I took one for the team and landed on both knees - on the cement.

As I'm recounting this story to my friend on the phone - Glen comes in and is doing all these hand signals - all I could make out was that something had blown over, was rolling, and something was flying - dear Lord! The bees! The storm was a doozy, and now my box of bees were rolling across the yard in a downpour. They were recovered. No casualties.

We drove about a half an hour away to Ed and Bea's house to pick up a hive for the bees. How cute is it that Ed, my bee mentor is married to someone named Bea? They invited us in, and we sat and chatted what seemed to be like hours while I sat there in the house with my prescription sunglasses on. Why I didn't go to the car and get my regular glasses I don't know. Why I'm even mentioning this on the blog, I don't know. I felt like I was doing something wrong, like wearing a baseball cap to a Southern Baptist Church meeting. I felt like Michael Jackson. It was just weird. I kept wondering, 'do they think I'm weird?'
Luckily, they didn't answer that - out loud.

When I went to bed that night, I noticed a dry patch on my chin and scolded myself for not moisturizing more.

The next day I went for my first haircut after getting my last haircut.
Read that again and tell me how ridiculous I am.
It'd been two months since I got my hair cut shorter.

It was time for a trim and a dye job. I'd had enough of Clairol in a box and decided to treat myself to to a real 'in town hair colorin'. She asked how I liked my haircut last time, and I told her how I loved it, and got a lot of compliments. Next thing I know I felt a razor going across the back of my head.
Oh. Dear. Lord.
My hair is now about an inch and a half long in the back, a little longer on the top. Seriously, folks, this is a little short. I feel like I'm playing for the other team now, not that there's anything wrong with that - but it's short.
Upside - and I always do try to look for the upside - I look cute in hats, I won't need another cut until the snow flies, and now I don't even need to comb my hair. I just rub it a little.

The dry patch is getting a little bigger.

Next day.

I have ringworm. On m'face. Dear sweet Lord. It sounds so 'creepy'. RINGWORM. Doesn't it make your skin crawl to think of it? Immediately I Google it. Yep. It's ringworm. So glad to know there are actually no worms involved.
There's a fungus among us.
Glen scolds me for the umpteenth time for kissing chickens.
But I ask you friends, how can you not?



All my mind could think of was when I was a little child, one of my mentally disabled sister's friends would visit - her name was Sandra C (just to protect her) and my mom told me she had trench mouth. That sounds worse than ringworm, doesn't it? My mom, in her southern accent would warn us all that Sandra C was coming for a visit, and 'Landsakes alive ....don't drink after her, she has trench mouth." My child's mind would envision a mouth with a trench coat on it. Still does in fact.

Then of course, I had to Google trench mouth. Trust me on this one - don't.

Let's see - ring worm home remedies - clear nailpolish. Did that for two days. I thought it would burn right through to my chin bone. Then I decided to do a comfrey leaf compress.


I'm out in the yard working on the garden, preparing for the infamous Garden Walk, and I hear a quack. I haven't blogged much lately, so you all don't know that Maude up and left about two weeks ago. She'd left here and there before, a day or two - but this time she was gone for almost two weeks, and Claude left shortly after she did. (They are both back now!) I actually printed out her picture and added it to the 'Fallen Fowl' wall. I figured they were in the big pond in the sky.
I got four more baby ducks.
Of course I did.

So here I am in the yard, with a comfrey leaf on my face, held in place by an Ace bandage wrapped around my entire head, with 1.5" long hair, apologizing to a duck. After my initial jubilation of her unexpected arrival, the guilt set in as she heard the baby ducks. She kept looking at me - the guilt burned in my soul. I felt like a wife that hadn't grieved long enough for her husband before she remarried.
"Did you really expect me to live duckless Maude?" I was lonely!

The ringworm has tripled in size. I shan't leave the house until it's healed. I'm using Lamisil cream now.

I really thought I was going to have a relatively easy week this week, and then I started working on my garden of shame. It's so shameful, I can't even talk about it. It deserves it's own post. Then we cut a winding path to through back acre and I waded ankle deep through a field of poison ivy. I have poison ivy ankle bracelets. I'm sunburnt/tan to the point of looking leathery. All I need is a smoker's cough now. I have to hand trim and rake a 300' winding path this week. Good times.

I took Aaron to see Eclipse on Wednesday. Oh dear. I have a terrible crush on Jacob. Why doesn't Bella choose Jacob? Sure, Edward is all sensitive and rich, but Jacob....sweet Jacob.


I wear the same shirt. Every. Day. I don't know why. It's just easy.
This one.



We've been living on Vienna hotdogs and Polish Sausage.
Seriously.
I'm sorry if I've burst your bubble.

Speaking of Vienna - did you know she and Jake broke up?


Shocking, isn't it?

I drank wine with lunch twice this week.
With my hotdog.
I felt like European White Trash.


I bought four more guineas babies.
See, I don't grieve long. If there's anything my quasi-country life has taught me, it's to count your losses and move on. After the Great Memorial Day Guinea Massacre of 2010, I didn't think I could bear another guinea, but alas, my heart has healed, and the memory of that sad day but a distant memory, I got four more. They promptly trampled one to death. Seriously guinea? Why must you elude me so. One down, three to go. Keep your fingers crossed.



The garden is inching ever closer to it's day in the limelight. I have friends waiting in the wings to help if I need it - but at this point, it's a spiritual quest to finish it on my own. It really wouldn't be hard for a normal person to do this. I have severe ADD and can't make a decision if my life depended on it, so I roam the yard wondering what to do first more than I actually dig or work. In fact, if I were normal, I would have been floating on inner tubes and drinking Pina Colada's for the last month. I keep making lists, and then throwing them away cause they stress me out, and then I go out again and make another list - over and over - I make a decision, and half way through doing the project, I decide it's a bad idea and leave if half done and start something else.


My internal dialogue whilst doing yard work today: Oh, I want a couple little goats. They couldn't be that much trouble - could they? Wish I could get a couple before the garden walk - oh, that would be so cool. Hey, my neighbor has goats. I wonder if I could borrow a couple of goats for the garden walk. ya, that is a good idea - I could BORROW the goats, and then find out if they are that much trouble, and then I could get some. I could just go to the sale barn this Monday and buy a few goats. That's a great idea! How am I gonna get them home? Hmm....I don't know? The back of the Jeep? Would they just stay put while I drove? Ya, that's what I'll do - I'll go to the sale barn on Monday and get a few goats, and then - wait - why would somebody sell their goats there? What if it's cause it's a problem goat? How would I know if it was a problem goat? What if it got out the night before the garden walk and ate everything? Hmmm- I should just borrow the neighbors goats.

I actually called the neighbor and asked to borrow her goats.

She said it wouldn't be a good idea so soon before the garden walk.

Glenco was staring at me without blinking.

His lovely wife of nearly 30 years. Sunburnt, leathery. poison ivy covered ankles, hair an inch and half long - hot dog breath, and ringworm face, on the phone asking to borrow the neighbor's goat.

Gotta love it.

Hey - at least I don't have trench mouth.

60 comments:

  1. It's been a while since my haircut too and it's in need of a trim and color again. Tried to git er done on Thursday but neither of the hairdressers I wanted was available. It's on the list for later this week though. I've pulled the baseball caps out of the closet until said day arrives. :-)

    Di

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  2. We caught a swarm of bee's before a rainstorm this year too! Glad to hear you have been having so much 'fun'! Your hair looks great and GO Team JACOB!!!

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  3. You have a beautiful place, Jayme. I wish I could go on the garden walk to see it. BTW -- are the bees okay?

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  4. one of my boys had ringworm. I took him to the doctor, he gave him a prescription (don't remember what it was), told him to use lamisal and use Selsome Blue (not head and shoulders-it lacks the effective ingredient) in the shower as a body wash. Worked! He's had a reaccurance and tried this method minus the prescription, it worked but took quiet a bit longer. =o)

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  5. Wow, I'm impressed with your bee capture! I would be a wreck if people were coming to tour my yard! Hope your ringworm heals quickly!
    Blessings,
    Lorilee

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  6. Jayme, so sorry the comfrey didn't work for you. Didn't realize it was on your chin so that would be real hard to bandage up.
    As always, absolutely loved this blog and how you find the humor in it all. I'm for the goats but girly, you already have so much to do, so think really hard before getting one.
    Love the hair and you look beautiful even with your face worm. :)

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  7. Jayme!!
    Now I'm going to be late to church! Seriously! I couldn't pull myself away to get ready... sitting here drinking my chamomile tea, nearly choking to death because I'm laughing so hard. Yes, laughing to the point of tears running down my face!

    Friend, when is that book of yours coming out? I'd have to read it in the daytime because I'd be so wound up and laughing hard that I wouldn't sleep if I read it before bed.

    Oh, and we must be part of a sisterhood somewhere. While I skipped the poison ivy, I got the ringworm on my forehead (trust me, get a prescription - I've had it for two months trying my own stuff including over the counter lamisil), I've cut myself 3 times - twice on the same finger - nearly had to have stitches! My hair is shorter than it's ever been and since I decided to let it go grey, I've had to start wearing my husband's baseball cap so I don't look like trash. (I could use the money I spend coloring it to buy goats! Seriously, we are thinking of spending a fortune to build a barn so I can get to milkers!).

    I think I better go to church.

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  8. Oh Jayme, you are like a breath of fresh air! I'm splitting my pants I'm laughing so hard at all your mishaps. Your poor husband, what a dear man is he. White Euro trash, I love it.
    Show us a pic of your hair. I swear those hair cutters never listen!
    Hope to hear from you again soon.
    Deb

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  9. I sure do wish I lived closer to you. Would love to attend the garden walk and sit for a chat with you and your neighbors. You are so funny and full of life.

    Have a happy and restful 4th of July.

    Dogwood

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  10. Drivel, my ass!!! I'd rather read your drivel than just about anything. I've laughed so much, I could hardly read the last part through the tears. Thanks so much for sharing your doings and even your inner dialog with yourself. Hope the ringworm subsides soon.

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  11. Girl, you're killin' me! "…hot dog breath, and ringworm face, on the phone asking to borrow the neighbor's goat." had me laughing and laughing hard, to the point of tears of no return.

    I agree with Amy… there's a book here.

    Lynnanne

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  12. Jamie, I laughed the whole way through your rant. You are too funny, but humor is good, it helps a multitude of symptoms and situations. The goat story, too funny, the bees, your the bee whisperer, poison ivy and ringworm, just minor symptoms of a wanna be farm girl. I'm drivin' down for the garden walk just to meet you!
    Donna

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  13. Jayme,

    The bee swarm does to me what mannequins do to you. I almost had to log off. Hope your ring worm and poison ivy ankle bracelets heal up before the garden walk. Your gardens reflect all your love and hard work; simply beautiful. Your lawn is so green and lush. The heat waves have ours looking like straw. I too have worn the same shirt for most of the summer and consider myself a perfectionist with ADD. Love your new babies!
    Enjoy the 4th!

    Your Friend,
    Deborah

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  14. Jamie... I cackled my way through your lovely drivel. Enjoyed every last bit! Happy 4th! -Tammy

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  15. Jamie,

    Wait...I have to push my lower jaw back up and shut my mouth...LOL!!!
    The further I read, the lower my mouth dropped open...I don't know where to begin...YOu have been gone TOO long girl. Your life is so NOT static... You cannot go that long and NOT post. It becomes over load for all of us catching up on your LifeTales! We shall have to read through all this 10 times to really be caught up GOOD.
    My Gosh! I feel like you were gone for a season! I am glad to know you are surviving through all this we had no idea was going on...
    AND girl - RESEARCH the goats good before you dive in. get the widdle kind. pygmy... ya know...if Glenco even blinks to signal a yes that is...hahahah...
    Listen. The Marines run into the old Ringworm curse a lot. I know you may not want to try this. But they just scrub straight Clorox on a cloth or pad right into the fungus. They say it works. Kills it outright....you can watch the progress and see it drying up and know when to stop. Doesn't seem right to be doing it on the peachy cream complexion of the Chicken Whisperer,..but its supposedly "THE cure." I've heard of Tea Tree Oil too... So many different methods people use....
    Good Luck girl. How about one of them thar sparklers held a bit below it...Singe it right off!!????
    Na I didn't think so...never heard of that one myself..just came right out of this silly head of mine on this Fourth of July. Have a great holiday...Celebrate Freedom..Feel the Patriotism!
    Love and Hugs...Good Luck with that Garden walk. Got my hair cut too FINALLY! Good to see you back.

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  16. oh Jayme I am statin up the car right now and headed to NW Indiana girl you need me there!!!! It appears you need me more than Pier One does at the moment.I have never laughed so much in all my life.I know I know you are not suppose to laugh at people with "disabilities" but when they are man eeerrr woman made it is okay. The bees, the ring worm, the haircut (they never listen why oh why can't hairdressers read our minds?)the poison ivy what next locust? You made my day. nancy settel

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  17. Oh my gosh! The bee's, the ringworm, the haircut! Too much! Very funny post, I'm still laughing. Enjoy the garden walk!

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  18. Jayme! You had me in stitches today girl! I'm feeling alternately sad and relieved that there was no photographic evidence of your physical ailments! Hope all is improved soon. So sorry about the haircut. That would have done me in.

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  19. A VERY entertaining post, Jayme - and sorry that the events you describe weren't exactly entertaining for you! Your bee pictures seized me with terror! How you can approach and handle that tree branch full of bees is WAY beyond me!! That's horror movie stuff!

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  20. Oh Jayme, you are good medicine for the soul. We have to find a way for you to be able to post everyday. It would benefit all of us to have a morning with Jayme.

    I don't know which I love more~the bees, the wine with the hot dogs, or the fact that you called your neighbor and asked to borrow her goats. I wish I could have seen Glenco's face.

    Love you girl!

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  21. Yes, entertaining post today!!! Ring worm fungus - I had that once for a week. Went to a chiropractor who 'adjusted me' when it itched, then it went away! I would not have believed it had I not seen it, and my friends who had handled the same kitten as I did, had their ringworm for 6 months or better! Chiropractics can be amazing....

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  22. almost fell out of my bedroom chair laughing at all the visual images I have of you with all your "issues" :) Thanks for being the most entertaining and fun blog evah.

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  23. marytylermotorheadJuly 4, 2010 at 4:20 PM

    How Jayme got her groove back!!!

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  24. Ack! An hour after I posted my comment I thought... I spelled Jayme's name wrong! I came back to check and ohhh noooo... I did! I'm so sorry.. please forgive? The funny thing is one of my followers spelled my name wrong on a comment today and came back to apologize and I thought.. wow, that was nice but it truly was no big deal. Well, apparently ~ it's a big huge deal to me when *I* misspell ;) -Tammy

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  25. I have a cold and am feeling a little under the weather. Then I read your post and thought I am certainly better than I thought. My goodness...My middle daughter wrestled in high school one season and got ringworm from the wrestling mats. I had to go to the drug store and buy the cream that is for an entirely different thing, in my opinion, per the doctor. That was a new experience since I was raising three daughters no sons. She had it on her neck and upper back. Of coarse this is the daughter that now has four sons now, I expect she will learn the real use of this substance. Who in the world have you been wrestling with?

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  26. Your calamities have made me laugh out loud and scare my dog.
    I have had ringworm.
    Got it from some goats at the auction barn.
    Use iodine on them or the stuff that is sold just for atheletes feet. Both work well. Do NOT hug ANYONE until the ringworm is gone completely or they will get it too. Glenco may get it yet from you.
    And DO NOT EVER buy livesotck at the auction barns. Buy direct from a person who sells what you are looking for, such as trouble-making goats.
    I wish I could come see your gardens.
    We are haying in Vermont!
    www.tailgait.blogspot.com

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  27. This post cracked me up!!! Your life sounds just like mine....minus the great farm life.....but my hair person cut my hair way too short and I have my daughter's wedding in two weeks.....I have a pimple on my chin....no poison ivy....thank goodness....I'm allergic.....the bees.....well....allergic....go you! I would have kept running in circles if had been me.....great post!! Made my day!

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  28. Jayme ~
    You are so funny!
    What a joyful read on a very hot NH night.
    And I love the 'not that there is anything wrong with it' Seinfeld reference.
    The other day we were driving in the car and my (8 year old) son out of the blue says "Maybe the dingo ate your baby." Did you see that episode?
    Anyway ~ you have obviously been much too busy to blog ~ but this one made up for all the time that you have spent elsewhere.
    Hope you are well (despite the stress and ringworm ;)
    ~Andrea in NH

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  29. Jamie, Jamie, what would we do if you left the blogging community completely? I know what I'd do...live a miserable life without ever laughing this yard again! :-) You are one crazy silly woman...and I love ya! Will be so glad when the Garden Walk is over and you will be back to posting again...and Glenco will have his wife back. :-) You know...like fixing meals, etc. Isn't it just so much more fun playing outside in the dirt and flowers than inside trying to come up with meal ideas some days?

    My favorite part of this post was your description of pulling weeds. I'm the same way! That was too funny. I know I do that, but somehow reading your description of it just threw me over the edge with laughter because suddenly I realized how I must look to passers by on our road. lol

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  30. p.s. and by the way, that is "without ever laughing this hard again"...NOT without ever laughing this yard again! I know you know that, but somehow I just couldn't bear seeing it in print like that without correcting it.

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  31. This is your best post ever! I laughed out loud, partly because it was so funny and entertaining, and partly because there just isn't a dull moment to be had with the coop keeper! I love it!

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  32. Oh my, i just about fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard... I can just picture you on the phone with Glenco staring at you... My hubby would never be that patient, he'd yank that phone cord out before I could ask to borrow goats... Hope your ringworm and poison ivy will be gone soon and after the garden walk is over, you can relax with a pina colada in the blue lagoon.
    By the way, I'd take Jacob over pasty Edward anytime...

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  33. I am always excited when I see you've posted another bit of "drivel". I promptly set my coffee down and settle in for an entertaining read. I can't drink coffee at the same time because it usually ends up all over the computer screen. :) You are hilarious to read and should write a book. Or two or three. I love that most people would be so crabby about everything you just wrote in this post, but you're able to find the humor. You rock!!!

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  34. Oh. My. Goodness.
    Jayme - you crack me flat up. This has got to be your funniest post yet, and that's saying something. I choked on my coffee laughing.
    The bee swarm was magnificent. I saw one once and it was really something.
    Go give Glenco a hug right now - he's a keeper.

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  35. Very funny!

    And I think you should get one pregnant Momma goat and hope she has twins - which they often do. We had goats and the babies are cute and fun, but they seem to like to drop their waste in the places you would least like them to. Ours chose the sidewalk right in front of the front door, so we had to sweep daily. If you have limited concrete areas, goats would be just fine, though. Choose pigmy's as they are smaller and would be cute running around the garden.

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  36. There is so much here that I want to say that I could write my own blog post as a reply. I weed like you do. I kiss my pets, but don't have chickens and never got ringworm, and your overwhelmed mental sdetracking/self-sabotage sound WAAAYYYYY too familiar. Hot dogs and wine. I wish you were my neighbor. And even though you are sunburnt and leathery and have ringworm and a butch haircut I would give you a big hug and ask what I could do to help.

    kim

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  37. OMG,you should write a syndicated column....oh wait, well, that is sort of what you do...independently. Anyways....great post. Had me and the Hubbs in stitches as usual. Love your style. And the guineas...well, I feel your pain. Last year this time we had 30.....only 3 have survived. Idiots.

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  38. Love your blog ! It is sooo funny ! Have your tried putting a black walnut on your ringworm ? I had never heard of it before , until one of my kids got it . My husband said get a black walnut and put on it . It worked ! He also taught me if something has infection in it, cut a piece of potato and put it on the area with a band- aid and wear it to bed or whatever. Both of these really work . I don't know what that potato does , but I do know it pulls it out somehow .Works every time . Hope this helps you .

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  39. Your post had me laughing out loud! I was not laughing at you but with you. I've had similar kind of weeks. You are so funny. Maybe you should write a book!

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  40. Great stuff. I wish we were friends in real life. ;)

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  41. OMG Jayme! My husband just came in and thought I was having a fit. I was laughing so hard and not breathing and had tears rolling down my face! Sorry for your troubles. I just love "visiting" you!

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  42. Jayme,
    Love your blog. You love so many of the same things that I do!
    About the ringworm; My daughter used to get it when she was little. Desitin ointment (yes, diaper cream) killed it really fast and didn't hurt at all. Just use it at night,maybe? Good luck in your adventures!

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  43. marytylermotorheadJuly 5, 2010 at 4:32 PM

    Oh yeah, I do the prescription sunglass manuever, indoors. Seinfeld Cuban embassy episode.

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  44. THanks for cheering me up, I thought I HAD PROBLEMS!!! Bless your dear husband. You should be a stand up comedian.

    Ginger

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  45. I always enjoy your blog & I LOVE your house!

    Ringworm - why did they have to name it that? My daughter is going through a divorce & the kids recently got ringworm. He thought it was a real worm & was trying to use that against her in court!

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  46. PRICELESS!!!
    Velvia

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  47. You are flippin' awesome, and I was just bemoaning the fact that I have zero friends to Chris, almost in tears that I can't have you as my next-door neighbor. Even if you *did* have trench mouth.

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  48. marytylermotorheadJuly 6, 2010 at 8:39 AM

    "Fallen Fowl" wall. Say that 5 times fast.

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  49. Hey there, girlfriend,
    I am stopping by here to spell your name correctly...Jayme! I don't know where I came up with the ie on my previous comments! I'm sorry.

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  50. Another refreshing post to start my day. I laughed, I cried, I laughed until I cried. Hang in there. Hair grows and ringworm does go away. I love your blog. I love it because we have so much in common. I no longer live on a farm, wish I did, just not where it was. I miss my chickens and my little animal friends. Hope you have a great day, gotta go, late for work now.

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  51. Your post was so much fun! Not drivel at all. Go back out there and do something so you will have more to post about.
    How do you do all that and still have time to post????

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  52. Your drivel is hysterical!

    When my daughter was small, she had ringworm on her leg. The pediatric doc gave us a prescription for some sort of cream that never worked. While at the vet with one of our cats, I showed him the ringworm on my daughter's leg. He said sunshine would cure it. Sure enough, when summer arrived, the ringworm went away. So, while outside raking your 300' path, keep your chin up!

    I have got to go see the new Twilight movie. I've loved Jacob ever since New Moon.

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  53. This is one of the best blog posts I have ever read. I have been laughing about it all day. Ringworm?! Really!? I hope it gets better soon!

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  54. You hair looks great!

    Never for the likes of me have I seen bees like that. It was the strangest thing!

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  55. You are funny. I believe there is
    a sisterhood of the dingbat hobby
    farmers. What fun we could have
    at our monthly meetings! Love your
    blog...keep it up!

    Holly R

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  56. It's 7:05 a.m. in California. I couldn't sleep for some reason and got up at 6:00 a.m. today. I discovered your blog today and am reading it along with my amazing french press coffee. When I came to this

    "so here I am in the yard, with a comfrey leaf on my face, held in place by an Ace bandage wrapped around my entire head, with 1.5" long hair, apologizing to a duck"

    I thought I would wet my pants. You are so funny. Bees in a box? Are you kidding? I grew up in Illinois with family still in Wisconsin. You are so lucky to have such a beautiful yard and all that land...my brother does, too. I love going to visit and just smelling the air. Amazing.

    Anyway, I can't wait to keep reading. Your garden is absolutely beautiful.

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  57. At least you are European white trash! So fancy!!

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