Friday, August 14, 2009

Somebody Stop Me.....Here's Helen

Some of you may remember poor Helen. If you are a new reader, you might want to look in the June archives and read about little Helen. She's truly a miracle bird. A coon attacked her in the middle of the night, biting her head. I do think she may be blind in one eye.

Poor little Helen is on the bottom of the pecking order. Thankfully, she's not physically picked on, but psychologically, the other girls put her through the wringer. Do you think that just once, they could let her be the first one out of the coop, or the fourth for that matter? Absolutely not. The other girls have practically broken their necks to make sure that wouldn't happen!

Unlike Mrs. Puffington and Mother Plumtree, Helen isn't much of a stitcher. She finds it a foolish waste of time. She spends most of her days in reflection and prayer. Seems to be, after the coon attack, Helen's tasted a bit of the afterlife and she aims for everyone to 'know the way'. It also could have been the fact that I did take her in a grocery store when she was ailing, and well, I didn't want to tell you this, but I did go to the meat section. I tried to shield her one good eye from the bagged chickens there, but I think she saw them. I often hear her quoting Scriptures to the other girls. Just yesterday as they were breaking up their meeting, I heard her tell Stubs 'Consider the lilies of the fields...'. I don't know about you all, but to me, a sweet meditative chicken is hard to come by.

Helen has quite a ministry actually. Last night she ventured out to the prisons. She'd die if I told you this, but her sister is actually incarcerated. She won't tell me why. It couldn't be for anything too terrible, could it?

Helen told me that she had two conversions last night. She felt it a smashing success.

Pictured above is Harry 'The Black Spur' Australorp. He'd been wanted in these parts for years. He's a bad seed. Always looking for a fight, and one night he found one. It wasn't pretty. We don't talk of it here anymore. He's on death row. Scheduled for the deep fryer on August 30th. Helen feels she got to him just in time.

Kids these days. That's all I can say about this one. Natasha is in for a short stint due to a DUI, public indecency, and resisting arrest. Acts like she was raised in a barn. I know her parents and they are beside themselves. They gave her too much too soon if you ask me. She needs a good hard days work in the yard. If Helen can't talk some sense in her head, I don't hold out much hope for her.

Well dear've still to meet five more hens. Are you up for it?? I'll be flying the coop for a few days. I'm leaving for Missouri this afternoon and will be back in town on Wednesday night. Tune back in for more silly stories....


  1. Helen is by far my favorite so far! :) But I'll wait to meet the rest before I make that official. Missouri...that is where I live! What part are you visiting?

  2. Jayme, have a good few days away. Glenco does know how to hold the farm together doesn't he? Feed the chicks, any harvesting, etc? Of course, no man can do "all" the tasks we perform in a day's time regardless of lists and training. Be safe and hurry back.

  3. From now on she will be Sister Helen in my mind. This is your best description yet.

    I am going to make Sweet Hubby get up and come in here and read it. He will yell, "You're not calling me in there to look at something funny the stupid cat is doing, are you?" I will yell "No, come look." He will trudge his way in here like he's in a body cast, read it and roll his eyes. Later, when he is sitting in his recliner with his laptop, he will say, "what was that blog with the chicken thing?" Cause he will want to read it again. It will happen just this way, ask me tomorrow.

  4. miss you can't wait till your back!!!

  5. Helen sure has a interesting life for herself, leave it to you to have atleast one of your girls in the ministry.
    They are like little Barbie dolls with professions!
    Can't wait for the other chic stories !
    Can't wait till you get back home, travel safe.

  6. give me a ring when u get home, lets do lunch. Rhon

  7. Hey All! I'm back. Thanks so much for all of your fun comments. :-)

  8. It's about time Missy Jayme. I thought I was feeling really weird this a.m. and finally realized I was beginning withdrawal from your blog. Glad you're home and had a safe trip.

  9. LOL that was a cute post. Poor Helen...why do girls have to be SO mean! Thanks for stopping by my blog--have a sweet day! :)

  10. Girlfriend, write a book....start now!!!!
    You are one funny chick..(no pun intended)
    glad you found me...
    glenda at Serendipity Cottage

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