Wednesday, September 1, 2010


It's what I hear every time I sit down to blog lately.

I was going to post a picture of a cricket - and then when I Googled crickets, I almost fell out the chair with the heebie jeebies when I saw them.
Crickets freak me out more than mustard does.
And that's a lot my friends.

They crunch.
Law, I'm covered in the chills thinking about it.

Seems that there's so much I want to tell you, and yet nothing in particular.
This could possibly be a 'kitchen junk drawer' type of post.
A little bit of everything.

I've always envied the bloggers than can stick to one subject during a post.
I just simply can't blog about birds and pie crusts when there is so much stirring in my soul.

Sorry to keep you hanging since the last post.
I've been weird.
I'm very introspective at the moment, and for now it's a good thing.
If I get any worse, I'm sure Glenco will splash me with cold water.

Aaron is in this building as I type.

It's ok.
He started yesterday.
I cried like a baby when I left the school.
Cried like a baby when I got home.
The house is so quiet now that all I hear are my ears ringing.
I know there are some of you that would love to have silence so loud that your ears ring.
Be careful what you wish for!

I miss him.
Law, how I miss that boy child.
But he is happy. For now. And that is enough.

Now, if that's all ya'll have popped over to find out - that yes, Aaron is in school, and it's ok - please feel free to click on over to one of < ------- those blogs where there is something really interesting going on.

Or -
read this.

I keep meanin' to tell you that out of the six bantam baby chicks I got - four are dudes.
Beautiful, cocky, funny dudes.
I've never seen the show 'Jersey Shores' and yet, I've named them all from the show -
The Situation.

I may possibly rename my sweet hen Sissy, Snooki, but I just can't bring myself to do it yet.

They just seem Italian to me - I have no idea why.

They delight me endlessly - and I hope to keep them all, or most of them.
They haven't started fighting 'too' bad yet.

I wanted to tell you about my darling friend Renee that popped over here on August 21st - which is National Cupcake Day.
This girl is too much.
She even had Cupcake wine!

Maude has been giving Mocha the cat 'the eye'. They've been dining together and spending entirely too much time together. I've hooked Maude up on and she is perusing some profiles. A duck and a cat? It's just not natural Maude. What would the neighbors think?

Speaking of the neighbors. Remember the brawling neighbors? During the Garden Walk?
Up and gone.
House is up for sale yet again.
Won't ya please, please won't ya be my neighbor?

Been playing with the bees again.
Not sure about my honey situation.
But I must say, I love those little bugs. I feel confident with my gloves and suit on, and those little buzzing beauties mesmerize me.
It's Zenlike even.

Speaking of Zen like things -
I saw the movie Eat, Pray, Love.
I hadn't read the book, and now I want to but doubt that I will.

I liked the movie.
It was slow moving.
I liked the clothes Julie Roberts wore.
Nothing boob inappropriate like I always choose.
I need good egg carrying access in a shirt.
She wore all these nice flowing things that made it looked like she just finished Downward Facing Dog or Tree Pose.

I told Glen that I was taking an oath of silence for a week, staying upstairs where there was no air conditioning and living on green tea. I saw the glimmer of hope in his eye that I was telling the truth. Can you imagine? Me? Silent?

I am reading a book presently, that was referred to me from one of ya'll -
Women, God and Food, by Geneen Roth.

I've also spent some time on the Weigh Down Workshop website.

Good stuff. Very good stuff.
Want to cut your grocery bill in half? Eat half as much ! Ha! That's not in the book, that's my pearl of wisdom - no charge.
I'm down 8#.
I'm happy.
I'm feeling emotions.
I'm scared.
I could blog on that all day, but I don't want to bore you with the details.
Let's just say, it's freeing - it's frightening - it's illogical and madness all rolled into one.
I'll never diet again.

I wanted to tell you about the wedding that Aaron photographed!
Yep, he took pictures for a real wedding.
It was a lovely, casual, country wedding, and he did a great job.
I'm sure he'll be sharing photos soon.

So here I sit, tapping my fingernails on the desk, staring out the window.
This is my life now.
I just am.
I'm not a 'homeschooler' anymore.
I'm not an 'employee' some where.
I'm a wife, an aunt, a friend.
I'm a Coopkeeper, a beekeeper, a gardener.
I like bacon and squirrels.

I still hanker to work at Starbucks during the holidays.
I'm sure I'd be known as the Singing Barista.
I have a bad case of musical Tourettes.

Today I pruned bushes.
I'm going to Home Depot for Ornamental Millet.
I'm making smoked sausage for supper.
I'll watch a little tv tonight and read.
I'll feed chickens and collect eggs.

Riveting isn't it?
Aren't ya glad you stopped by?

I'm fighting the urge to throw myself into something big.
A new job.
A new hobby (yes, Deborah, a new hobby!)
Volunteer work.
I'm just being for the moment.
I'm just doing all the little things around here that need doing.
Pruning, painting, decluttering, etc.
I'm trying to be keenly aware of each day.
Cause what is life, if it's not this?
Each day.
I want to be alive in each moment.
It seems that in some odd way, I've spent my life fearing feeling - and now I'm craving it.
I want to feel it all.
The good, the bad and the ugly.
I think that when we fear to feel - it is a true sign that we are in control - we are fighting to maintain control - but when we no longer fear to feel - we have truly let go.


  1. My amazing, kooky friend. Thanks so much for the call this morning. Cackling is the best medicine besides bacon and Little Debbie Oatmeal Cakes, no?

    PLEASE come see me. You are all kinds of awesome.

  2. Maybe take up quilting to fill some time. It is a productive hobby. If you don't want quilts they can be donated to charity. One good cause is to send to a wounded soldier program. They love red/white/blue quilts.

  3. Love that post! You have a way with words so even when you have nothing to say, I'm mesmerized.

  4. Hey Jayme, You know, I think it all hits us at one time in our life or another....a time when we just BE because we don't quite know WHO we are or WHAT we want. For me, it has been at times in my life when I felt that things were out of my control...I had some freedom but wasn't sure what I was going to do with it-or if I even wanted it...yeah...times like that. And, then...after a while there is a resurgance...a feeling of OH YEAH...THIS is what I need to do next. There have been times in my life where I just noted down WHAT I needed to do and then did it because otherwise, I would have done nothing.

    I think maybe you are experiencing some of those feelings right now. Sending a kid off to school and being alone...and not eating your emotions away...can be a killer. It is so easy to just "stuff the feelings" and not feel them; much harder to do what you are doing. And, just are not digging your grave with your teeth letting go of the food you are living and feeling and experiencing life in a rawer state..and you will find true freedom-as scary as that can be.

    Hugs to you, my friend. I understand! Diana

  5. Those bantams do indeed look Italian.
    And I like that Mocha and Maude are hanging out.
    Nothing wrong with an interanimal relationship :)

    ~Andrea in NH

  6. Coop...Your mind IS just a buzzing with activity today. I feel like that all the time. I like your chicken names. The new chicken dudes look earthy ...maybe thats why they look Italian.
    Just think of how hard it would be to memorize all the funky orders people would order at Starbucks...All the extra..Mocha lite, java, latte, skim milk, extra this, extra that...yuk...It would be a headache...
    As for the duck ...I have a neighbor that has a duck in his yard all by its lonesome...It has a baby pool and toys in the yard..Looks like a good set up or life for a duck.

  7. I want to come be your neighbor and let my WeeMan chase your chicks and scare away the crickets... or find the dead ones and bring them to you - that's his new toddler activity - finding dead bugs. I think he things they're sleeping because he says shh when he brings them to me.

    I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week and holiday weekend.

  8. I commented on your last post that my husband and I are both teachers and would take care of Aaron should he ever end up in our class--I laughed when I saw that picture of the school entrance, because guess what? My husband teaches there (though he only has juniors and seniors). I'll tell him to keep an eye out for Aaron.;)

  9. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. You continue to put my feelings into words - how do you do that? ;-)

    I'm so happy for Maude. Big hug.

  10. Your chickens are so beautiful! Love the picture of the cat and duck. So cute and funny! LOL!

    The Chicken Keepers

  11. Oh, honey. I understand. Completely.The empty nest (or at least school hours) is one of the hardest hits, isn't it? You made me think back to years ago when my youngest, who was joined at the hip with me, ventured off to FULL day kindergarten. Mama here didn't take it too well. I would go to the gym, then while I was in town I would go shopping after the gym until it was time to pick up my exhausted 5 year old. Being a young, growing family, we lived on a very tight budget. Well, Mama here had charge cards and you can figure out the rest of the story. I had to confess my sins to Hubby, deal with my "loss" although I actually learned to love my time, eventually, and pay off my credit cards.

    It will get better. You just have to define your "new normal" and go forth with gusto.

    I hate the word diet. It's awful. I choose to be on a liveit and just eat healthy and exercise. Food is not our enemy, it's our energy, our bullets, our FUEL that enables us to be the women we need to be.

    You have such a sweet spirit about you. I hope your spirits lift soon. Hugs, Marla

  12. Smile... say cheese! I think that squirrel is about to take your picture!! Awwww nuts.


  13. Jayme,

    Scout is looking for someone to man ground control if your interested.

    Your Friend,

  14. Ah, yes...I know your feelings well. Going thru just about the same thing over here... It sucks! It's near torture. Unable to step forward, unable to step backward... Full-on suckville. It was just this morning when I had to remind myself, "Self, get your sh@# together!"

  15. usual, there is a lot of a lot in this blog post. Each item as important as the last. I hope you are able to enjoy the quiet in the house and the last days of summer.

    Wow, a job at Starbucks. You would bring them in with your singing. I have heard you.

    How did Aaron make the decision to return to public school?

    Hugs, Cory/Dogwood

  16. You crack my butt up!
    I swear you say what I think!
    Down 6 lbs~ it is hard, very hard.

    Wish I could be half as funny as you are you are.

    Love YA!!

  17. You've got lots to say even when you have nothing to say! ;) Where's your dollhouse these days?

  18. I love this post... it is just how I talk- random thoughts all fighting to get out. I am still plugging away at the weight loss thing too. No diet, just changes and moving. I love the chicken names. I also love Italian chicken, but don't alarm them!! Glad your Aaron is doing well. Baby steps woman, baby steps... you will survive! Blessings!!

  19. You need to write a book..or a newspaper column! My your brain jumps from one thought to the next, doesn't it? ha. That's why we all love you so.
    I fear I'd be way to terribly boring for you if we were to meet...I don't switch gears near as fast as you do my dear!
    We would laugh though!!

  20. Renee's cupcakes are AMAZING!!!

    Loved this's a lot of what I'm experiencing right now...'cept I don't have a boy going to school.

    I cleaned my basement today!!! {that's BIG!}

    I'm pretty sure the duck and the cat won't mate. Actually, I'll bet my house on it!

    See ya tomorrow!


  21. Jayme,
    Its like reading a paper when I come over for a visit. Catching up on all your news. Your little Bantams are so cute. How do they get along with your big hens? I wanted to get some with the chicks this spring and the saleslady talked me out of it. Since hubs talked me into giving away two of my pullets to daughter number 2 so I would have a straight dozen I wonder if I could sneak a 2, 3 or 4 of these little ones in next spring. Good for your on your weight loss. I was trying the 1/2 thing and thought I would carry through with it but when my hubs put a grill piece of meat on my plate the other night I forgot to cut in half and just ate it all. How do you do it? Keep it up!

  22. Holy cow... I think you already started that job at Starbucks and took advantage of the product discounts for employees!! :)

    Gotta read the book before I can see the movie (Eat,Pray,Love). I just love those kind of flowy outfits.


    PS... you could do what I do and start a list of blog ideas. Then you won't ever be at a loss again.

  23. Congratulations on the 8 lb loss and I agree that dieting is not a good thing. Good to know the boy is in that building and that you are surviving. I remember when my girls graduated from home school... I wanted them to go to college so I went back to school to the jr. college to kind of lead the way... they were supposed to follow. Well, one did, but the other one wanted to go to work. I sure did enjoy those home schooling days. Love your Italian chicken family.

  24. Yes, those heartbreaking feelings of sending one off to school. Little Man just started first grade...gone all day. Tears? Yes. Coming home to a quiet house...sad. I'm working on this new change...not liking it, but trying to do my best. My heart is touched when the kids say bedtime prayers and ask that "Momma won't be sad while we're gone." E-gads, that'll tear me up all over again. What to do?? It's fun to read your blog and giggle, or ponder...thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  25. It is not control we want but love..and we think if we control enough and do enough people will love us enough but it doesn't work that way. You have to love yourself enough first and then maybe just maybe the other will come....

  26. Oh, my goodness. Crickets. That's the noise I've been hearing too. And the ringing in the ears once the kiddos board the bus. It's deafening isn't it? You're doing fine Jayme. Just hang in there. You are one of those people that survives. You will be busy again before you know it and wonder how you ever thought you were bored.

  27. Yay for 8 el bees!
    Should I go see Eat Pray Love? I did read the book & didn't love it like everyone else. I loved the EAT part.

    Your writing is sensational! So funny + real.

  28. Ok, I'll be your neighbor. How do you feel about braying donkeys next door? I have the "Women, Food & God" audio book. I've listened to it intermittently, and can identify with much of it. And then what did I do? Started Wt Watchers again (ack... a 'diet'!), but hey, something's clicking this time and I'm becoming lighter - in poundage and spirit.

    Thinking of you during this transitional time, Jayme. Sending hugs... Tammy

  29. Awwwww.... I know you must be sad about Aaron. My "baby" graduated in 2009, but I still consider myself a home schooler. I actually teach the local home school photography class, although this may be the last year for that as my daughter mentioned starting my grand daughter in preschool next year and wants me to teach her at least one day a week. So... it won't be long before I'll be a home schooling grandma.

    And I'm sure Aaron will do great. I can't wait to see the wedding pictures. I know they will be good because HE is good. He should persue his photography with a passion because he has the potential to be brilliant. I can totally see his name appearing on a top 10 list somewhere.

  30. While your oration is random and fragmented, it is so enjoyable! You can bring about laughter and tears in one sentence. So very heartfelt, your admissions - and such a nice escape from our own turmoil to read about you and yours!

  31. Well, yes, I am glad I stopped by. :>) I "get" the crickets a lot these days. Enjoyed the post. Cheers~

  32. I'm sitting up on this thing, thinking about all of the change...for me, for you. You're so right about the letting go. I'm thinking God was preparing you for this very time, no? I'm thinking so. That's so nice of Him, the way he eases us into these big things (sometimes). I'm thinking He's happy with the way you're handling it all.

    Now, get all of this introspection out of yo head, or Calvin will tell you that you look pensive. Yes, he will. And you don't want a 5 year old throwing that on you.

  33. Ok, now some drivel for me in reference to your post. :)

    I really had to pee and I really just drank the last of my Diet Coke when you said to empty your bladder and refill your cups.

    I want/need rain. Please send it eastwards.

    If you are LI and somehow cannot eat those muffins or cookies, please send those eastwards too.

    I love, LOVE that shirt.

    The chickens rule.

    I LOVE bacon. Please send some eastwards.

    I am a little jealous that I am being a whelp and just set here and gorge myself with snacks throughout the day while you're out getting your walk on.

    Get gas...BP shot up 13 cents on me in between trips yesterday...oil spill? Idk, but 13 cents? In an hour? Come on!

    Oh, you got gas. Nevermind. :)

    ALDI's IS FABULOUS! They have a great produce section...always fresh. And did you know if you buy a watermelon or anything like that and it's not good, you can take it back??

    My soul food is mac and cheese. Send it too.

    Crap, just send all your food. I'm starving here this morning!!!


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