Thursday, December 24, 2009

'Twas the Night Before Christmas, and All Through the Coop....

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the coop,
not a chicken was stirring, except to go poop;

The stockings were hung by the roost box with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

The chickens were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of mealyworms danced in their heads;

Glenco in his boxers, and I in my cap,
had just settled down for a long winters nap;

When out in the coop there rose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter;

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutters and threw up the sash;

The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
gave a luster of midday to objects below;

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a stinkin' raccoon and a whole lotta fear;

With my double barreled shot gun so lively and quick,
I thought for a moment, "I'm gonna be sick";

More rapid than eagles to the coop I came,
whistling and shouting and calling them by name;

Now Helen, Now Fifi, Now Scarlett , now Stubs, now Scooter,
now Pittypat, now Puffington and Plums!

To the top of the coop to the top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash away, dash away all!

So up to the coop top and roost box they flew,
I stood there and pondered, 'Oh my, what to do';

And just as I put the gun to my eye,
I heard from that coon a soft little sigh;

"I've come to make peace and say that we're sorry,
since the attack this past summer, we've done nothing but worry";

"You see we've repented and make an oath to you,
to not harm your chickens...this we promise you."

I peered at the coon with my gun still half cocked, could this be true?
Oh my, what a shock;

When down from the roost box limped poor little Helen,
what she was up to ...there's just no tellin';

With her one good eye, she looked square at that coon,
and said "I forgive you, God bless you real soon";

In all my born days, I've seen nothing like this -
that dear little Helen gave the raccoon a sweet kiss;

Back to her roost pole she flew without haste,
and said 'True repentance is a sad thing to waste";

"Please tell all your readers this most important part -
Christ was born, so we all could have a fresh start";

For a moment we stood there in the soft glow of moonlight,
I marveled at Helen and said 'You're so right';

I bent over and patted the coons little head,
"Mr Coon" I said, without any dread;

"It's been quite a day, and a miraculous night,
coons visiting chickens without as much as one bite."

I heard him exclaim as he scampered out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"


  1. This was such a clever and entertaining post! I so enjoy reading your blog.

    Merry Christmas!

  2. Oh my gosh... that was funny, and adorable. Now I wish I did my variation with more wit! Hmm..

    NO. Time to bake, eat, visit, and make peace with racoons! YES!

    Merry Christmas to a gal that always makes me smile. :)


  3. oh this is just way to cleaver. I love your writing. You may have to publish a book one day soon from the Coop. Thank you for wonderful writing.Nancy

  4. This is wonderful Jayme! Thanks for being such a sweet blogging friend and for your sweet comments. Hope your family has a wondeful Christmas!

    PS Love the stockings!

  5. Very well done, if I do say so! I love it! I am seriously lovin' your blog, and am glad I managed to somehow stumble upon it. Thanks for sharing so much!

    Now those chicken stockings are so clever and cute! They make me want to go home right now and start building the coop. Really. Now.

    I made the White Chocolate & Cranberry cupcakes last night. I haven't iced them yet, but I had a sneak tast of the leftover batter. Oooh it was good. Apparently my dog thinks so too, because three were missing this morning...oh and I found the cat eating the crumbs under the dining room table, so suffice it to say I think she enjoyed them too.

    Merry Christmas Jayme!

  6. What a scream! I was entertained, I laughed and even got a little misty. You my friend are a treasure. Honestly, that should be published. Your a gift in and of yourself. I lovelovelove the stockings, they made me laugh out loud. Hugs and kisses, Rhonda

  7. Absolutely awesome. Good to bury the hatchet at the holidays. :)

    Merry Christmas Jayme...may the next year bring us many more opportunities to get to know each other even better.

    ps. love the stockings, please give each chicken a xmas kiss for me...oh, and Aaron too. A burly handshake will do for Glen :)

  8. You clever, clever girl. That was oddly touching and though provoking. I'm not saying I'm not a bit freaked out about the chicken feet stockings though...

  9. Jayme, words cannot describe your poem other than I sat and cried. It absolutely should be published somewhere!
    Maybe I'm just too much into the whole chicken thing. Love their stockings! You just made my Christmas and thank you for all that you are and offer to all of us!

    Merry Christmas to you, Glenco, Aaron and Cindy!

  10. That is awesome! Thanks for the giggles - love all your posts, songs, poems and honesty. Have a merry Christmas, spectacular new year and thanks for being an online friend :) By the way ... your house is beautiful. It looks like something from a movie set! I want to walk up, knock on the door and come in for some tea, sweetened with honey, not sugar! :)
    Merry Christmas to you and your family :)

  11. That was amazing! I always enjoy reading your blog, but you really outdid yourself this time. This made my day. You are a clever and talented woman, Jayme. I hope this little gem finds its way to a publisher one of these days. You're a treasurer. I wish you a Blessed and very Merry Christmas to you and your family.

  12. You are tooo funny...and clever!~
    Here's wishing you and yours a Blessed Merry Christmas!

  13. Awww...what an amazing story! :)Love it! I'll try to be nicer to the coons. I'll try really hard not to make that evil grin when I see them hit on the side of the road. ;) Merry Christmas!

  14. Jayme...I LOVE this!! What an amazing creature God created when he created you! xoxo

  15. You have the most active and creative mind. I just love your version of The Night Before Christmas. I knew you would have something real special for us to read today! Thanks...

    Wishing you a wonderful and fun Christmas.

  16. You are amazing!!!
    Have a wonderful Christmas!!!

  17. FUNNY! You can trust those coons as long as the coop is tightly closed for the night! haha! I adore the chicken feet stockings!
    Christmas Blessings,

  18. That was perfect! I LOVE that picture of the bike with the lights...makes me smile! Merry Christmas!!!!

  19. This was the best Christmas post that I have read so far!!!! You are so very clever!!! That one is publishable!!!

  20. Jayme, you are amazing! I told you that you should publish your writings and this just clinched it! I love your chicken stockings and "your" sweet spirit came forth when you wrote about the coon.
    I hope you had a nice Christmas with your hubby and I pray a year of blessings on you and yours in 2010!

  21. I just read this to Mark and the kids. Hee-larious! Of course I had to explain Helen and Stubbs to them.

    You are making me so excited about re-fixing up our chicken coop and getting our new baby chicks this spring!

  22. I have been away for almost a week, working, with no computer access. I rushed home to see what was going on at your coop. Wow! You have greatly improved on the Thomas Moore version~!! I never thought raccoons had a conscience. You gotta publish this. Love the chicken stockings. PLEASE let me know when you start producing some for sale. I think just the mere sight of them will improve egg production at my coop.
    Thanks for making me smile.

  23. LOL, have I told you how thrilled I am to have "met" someone who obviously has more issues than I do? ;-)

    Love this post.

  24. AAAAAaaack!! How did I miss this lovely, smiling, clever post??? You were born to write, girlfriend. I'm so grateful God's given me the opportunity to add you to my list of folks I dearly love.
    Now, go do the write thing.

  25. Just found your blog today, so my apologies for a late comment, but o.m.g. this is fabulous. You are quite the writer.

    I was simply going to comment on the [cutest] stockings [I have ever seen] but the poem? Wonderful.

    Glad you had a nice Christmas. Your home is lovely.

  26. AWESOME tale. I am still smiling!

  27. Love your coop keepers!!!Gramma Gin~~~Snowbird Gin!Storks count?He needs to make his calling soon?Mindy is quite pregnant due now!!my 6th grandbaby! Molly is making me mother of the bride in May.So many blessing for Christmas&New Year Gramma Gin Mader

  28. Jamie I read you coop-keeper and really enjoyed CHRISTMAS STORY! Of course miss Indiana but love being a snowbird Gramma GIN.Looking forward to 2011 will be blessed with a Stork visit very soon!And my baby Molly Mader will be getting married in May to a rancher~~vs Vet Pharmacist.We are getting the farm back in real life!


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