Wednesday, February 24, 2010

It's Not You, It's Me - A Dear John Letter to Winter

Dear Mr. Winter:
When we first met last December, you totally swept me off my feet.
You promised me days and nights of quiet solitude.

You mesmerized me with your stark, icy landscapes.

You bathed me in comfort.
Quilts, soups, books and needlecrafts.
It was quite a love affair, wasn't it, darling?

Christmas was our Honeymoon, and what a Honeymoon it was.
The lights! The food! The coziness of it all.

I must confess to you dear Winter, that lately, I've not felt satisfied with our relationship.
I feel...

You just keep giving so much.

I have to think about the children, I mean, the chickens.
They too, have grown weary of your generosity.

It seems lately that you've been showing another side of yourself that I didn't see before.

I'm not here to diss you, darling.
I won't show anymore of your 'dark side'.
It's me, it's not you.

I fear our love affair is coming to an end.

You see,
I've met someone else.

Please, don't cry, you know when you snows.
It's for the best.

His name?
Is that really necessary, Winter?

His name is:

I know what you are thinking.....I'm sure you've seen it coming. I've been unsatisfied for a while Winter! This should come as no surprise.

I've been unfaithful. I've looked at seed catalogs, and websites you wouldn't approve of.
When we are together, I fantasize about another.

Spring has made a lot of promises to me, Winter.
Things that you weren't able to deliver.

I will always remember you my cold, icy friend.
I'm sure at times I'll miss the rest you offered.
I will miss our TV time.
I'll miss the soups.
We can still be friends.
It's not you, it's me.

Oh dear, I feel like such a


  1. Oh Jamye, you have no idea how much you crack me up. I am ready for spring too. The Burpee catalog arrived yesterday and I poured over it. I am also excited because we'll be getting our baby chicks. At least you have pretty snow, we just have muddy slush down here!

  2. How funny...a good blog name might be As the Seasons has been cool here in Arizona this year but I am still trying to enjoy every day...I know what is coming...110° days and then I will be hiding out....

  3. If we in FL are waiting for Spring, I know YOU must be too even more so. I do have fond memories of Springtime up in IN, esp the first cuttings of lawns...ahhh the fresh smell.

  4. I could not have worded it better. My sentiments exactly.

  5. That's hilarious! I gave up complaining about the weather for Lent... but if I hadn't... I would say "ditto."

  6. Jayme, you are a literary genius, whose words never fail to give the soul a lift. Have a perfectly, happy day :)

  7. To everything turn, turn, turn, turn... there is a season turn, turn, turn. AND IT'S NAME IS SPRING... Bring on the Hoes!!

    The Blue Ridge Gal

  8. of your best posts ever!!!
    From one hoe to another!!
    Sick of snow, here....and more on the way!
    Bee Haven Acres

  9. This is excellent! I could not have said it any better!! To darn funny. And the picture of the hoe...well, you are one clever girl.

  10. We can't help but want to see the green grass on the other side! It's not cheating on Winter, he's overstayed his welcome this year! Great post Jayme...

  11. That is an absolute hoot and I completely agree with you. Don't feel too bad, I'm betting he'll be back around to woo you in about 9-10 months. And you'll fall in love all over again. :)

  12. Too funny! Thanks for the early morning humor - and the thoughts of spring. It is still far off for us here but, yes, we dream... You are such a wanton woman, Jayme!

  13. It's definitely time for a spring fling! Winter will get over it. He's used to being dumped this time of year.

  14. OMG....You are too funny girl! I am with you on the spring thing, enough already! We are in for another storm by the end of the week in my neck of the woods and I am not looking forward to it! Ugh, I'm going to drool over my gardening books again, have a good day!

  15. You are hilarious! I laughed out loud at the last pic. Keep on keepin' on!

  16. Heehee.. you wee 'hoe' you.

    Love the winter's last blast shots there.. simply stunning indeed. Like Jack Frost just decided every wee thing must be touched.

    with love,

  17. Amen sister! I'm breaking up and moving on too but that dang'd 'ol winter is stalking me.

  18. If this is not one of the funniest, imaginative, and cute posts I've ever read...then I don't know what is.
    Fabulous, darling!

  19. Seems winter has overstayed his welcome everywhere by all the comments. Here's to the Hoes!

  20. I wonder if YOUR spring is the same as MY SPRING! I think he may be playing us...
    Yes this latest snow up here in Northwest Indiana is making us weary - at least it has been a pretty snow this week - big, fat fluffy flakes! It looks much better than the hard, dirty snow that was piling up!

  21. Great post Jayme. You are very clever with your writing. I can't really relate to the never-ending winter you're having, since it didn't arrive this year in the Pacific NW. But I do remember last year's winter and I was so excited to see spring when it finally showed up. Hope you're seeing the last of the white stuff soon.

  22. hi jayme,

    love your dear john letter to winter! hilarious! i'm feeling the same way but i know that spring in sd is still an elusive lover, at best!!! a girl can dream tho, and i've been doing that! love the "feeling like a ..." you are soooo funny! thanx for a good laugh on a cold (1 degree) winter's morning...


  23. Jayme, there is a gal over at Cobble Hill Farm that needs your chicken advice. Her first little one just hatched.

  24. Jayme,

    Great post! As always, you leave me sitting here with a smile. I think the different seasons are far from enemies. They relieve each other of the difficult task of being beautiful. Unfortunately, 'John' Winter is a stalker! You had to go and make him cry. Now we are expecting more snow tonight in NJ!


  25. Hate that old Man.

    He pretends to be so the beginning. I think he's a con artist, plain and simple.

  26. Great Post!!! Too funny! I'll definitely be following you. I think I can relate!


  27. Funny entertaining post.
    Yes I have had enough winter.
    All our snow is gone but it is only 15 degrees today. bbbuuurrrr

  28. LOL!!!!

    I'm cackling like one of your chickens right now. The very last pic was HILARIOUS.


  29. I'm sure this piece is worthy of a Pulitzer Prize! If only the whole world would read it!

  30. Great writing, yet you know me, very symbolic of spiritual things. I enjoyed it sooo much. Wish I was a gardener like yourself. Seed catalogs would make soo much more sense. One of your best blogs but I love em all anyway. smooches, Ra

  31. Winter will let you go for a season (or two or three), cause he knows you will take him back, arms open wide, after you tire of your other lovers. Spring is fleeting, summer even more so, and autumn will only be giving you a taste of what is to eventually be back in your thoughts.
    We love 'em and leave 'em, but eventually we all come back.
    But,, till then, bring it on Mr. Spring!

  32. I secound that thought!!! I am ready for something other than snow and ice...

  33. You are so clever. Don't worry, winter will eventually leave you because that is just the kind of SOB he is.

    Cute post!

  34. I'm one too!!
    ditto, ditto, ditto...

  35. i feel the same way!! thanks for the laughter. perfect way to put it.

  36. Ah Jayme, this is hilarious...and so well written.

    I too feel the same way, but I am sure when the heatwaves start, we will be looking for this old man winter.

    The pictures are so beautiful.


  37. Those photos are lovely...makes me want spring but NOT SUMMER! I would rather have the cold than the 90's.

  38. Where would I be without my daily dose of the coopkeeper. Jayme you are so funny, so so funny. I too am ready for spring. I was in Target today and they had all the gardening tools, patio furniture, and seed packets out. As I passed that section of the store I smiled out loud. Longer days and warmer temps are only a month away, up here in Minnesota anyway.

  39. Jayme,

    since we are friends..this is for your own good. Winter has been visiting me since December too.
    I always knew there were others..but I didn't know it was YOU until just now reading your Dear John letter.
    I've had may have him.
    I am moving ON..I am skipping Spring and jumping right into Summer.

  40. Hey girl, How can you be so creative at six in the morning? Geez,you are such a dynamo. I too am really tired of winter and looking forward to spring. I hope I get to see your garden this year because from the pictures I've seen from past blogs it really looks beautiful. Anywho,keep up the great blogs. Cyn

  41. Girlfriend. You are too funny. A Dear John letter to "winter." Oh, my gosh, I had so much fun reading your letter. And, the photos are wonderful. The chickens in the snow. I LOVE your house!!!

    We had three days blue skies and warm temps and now rain. I was able to get a photo of the daffodile in our Grass Valley backyard. And, we actually have a few blossom on our plum tree.

    How is Aaron? Have not seen him lately on your blog. Please say "hi" to him for me.

    Thanks for being you!

  42. I enjoyed stopping by your blog.

    I see you were interested in the postcard exchange. If you want one from Oklahoma, please email me so we can trade cards.

  43. Oh, Jayme. That was priceless! I've been absent from blogging for a month or so and it is so refreshing to stop by here and get my guaranteed chuckle for the day. Have a good one.

  44. This is about the best blog post I've ever read! AMEN SISTA!

    I'm going to link it in my blog tomorrow, hope you don't mind :-D

  45. Spring must be a to timer.. because he's been romancing me too ;)

  46. classy let-down.
    i don't think winter'll take it personally, of course he's been getting A LOT of rejection lately...oh well, he's strong. i'm sure he'll be back. *wink*

  47. ditto! I'm ready for warm sunshine and the smell of compost.

  48. first time here, from TD's blog. how cleaver and creative and cute! love it!

    yes yes yes we are ready for spring!

    let it come!


  49. ahahahaha! That was great!!! :) I love it! :)

  50. Just stopping by from Bubblegum Diaries to say hello. Great Post!
    Love your babies.

  51. Oh... sorry I'm so late getting to this hilarious post! I'm so glad I found you! I'll be here daily now..
    With everyone else :D

  52. OH, I love your dear Mr. Winter letter. He has been such a player, teasing us. You are so funny. Love the photos!

  53. You are also quite the photographer. You should try selling some of your wonderful photographs on They host and print postcards, prints, and posters. Check it out. I enjoy your blog. LP in VA.

  54. I love it! I live in Canada aka Artic wasteland. I'm SO SICK of the cold, the snow, the stuck indoors frigid weather....
    I don't know that I ever had more than an uncomfortable first date with Winter...he knows we never had a chance. I've always preferred palm trees which he has yet to deliver.

  55. Amazingly lovely photography--and amazingly entertaining post. I 'specially like your ending.

  56. Cute, Jaymers...really cute. I was having much the same thoughts this morning. Alas, the sun is shining today, so that should melt the latest snow fall in no time flat...IF it stays out for any length of time.

  57. This was so funny that I am speechless. Well done.

  58. I agree. Move on girl. Winter is a fraud. Pretty on the outside until you get all comfy- cozy and then he shows his dirty side. Ugly, dirty, side. I am so over him.
    Miss you my genius friend!

  59. This is so well written. You really are a humorist at heart aren't you? Every time I read your posts I think, well this is the best one yet, and then you post again and it is even better! You know it needs to be said, that of the many things I might think of you, well, a hoe isn't one of them! LOL!


  60. hey, Spring's been down here in Arkansas too...that two-timing scoundrel!


Thanks so much for leaving a comment!