Saturday, March 8, 2014

White Knuckling It

Today's been tough so far.
I'm ready to gnaw the bark off of a tree.

I'm not hungry - don't get me wrong - I'm craving - something sweet.
Why?  Well cause.
Cause I'm frustrated.

Cause my little VW that was running great yesterday is not running great today.

Cause I need waders to tend the chickens.

Cause all of my tomato seeds have germinated and I didn't get the grow light situation set up in time, and now I worry that they are too spindly, and won't recover.

Cause my printer is giving me fits.

Cause I have my period.

Cause people won't act like I want them to.


So, nothing would calm the ole CoopKeeper's nerves like a nice Pecan Mudslide, or perhaps a few pounds of Bridge Mix.

I made a cup of tea today and thought 'screw it, I'm putting honey in it."
I put a teaspoon of honey in it - and then promptly went to the sink and dumped it all, rinsed the cup and started over.

I got out the BBQ sauce to put on my pork roast.
Then put it back in the fridge.


I'm determined to make it 30 days without any sugar.

I even bought myself a gift to celebrate my milestone of 30 days sober.

I can't wear it for 12 more days.
I can't live a happy life with sugar.

I LOVE these Alex and Ani bracelets.
A blog reader got me turned on to them when she (thanks Nancy!) sent me one for my birthday.

The three values that the bracelet I ordered myself are 'courage' 'appreciation' and 'choice'.

I thought seemed appropriate.
I plan on getting one for every milestone - one month, six months, one year.  

You might wonder why I'm torturing myself - well - it's just that I flat out can't stand the thought of something controlling me - of me not being able to control myself.
It's utter nonsense.

I'm reaping wonderful benefits of being sugar free.
My mind is sharp.
The bloating is gone.
I'm dropping pounds.
I'm calmer.
And most importantly - I feel like I'm the boss of me.

I loved what Anne Lamott said in her last Facebook post - 
The way I get off sugar is to stop eating it! I eat lots of protein, fats, veggies, salad with delicious dressings, an apple, pear, some berries. The first 3 days are hard. The willingness comes from the pain: if you have made yourself sufficiently sick and full of shame on sugar, well--who know? You may be ready...or getting there. 

Before I close for today, I just wanted to show you yet another awesome birthday gift I received from a reader - Pam in GA.  

Would you look at that purse!?
It's fantastic!
I adore it.
Thank you so much.
There was also so many other sweet things tucked in the box with that purse. 
Pam braved a snowstorm in Atlanta to get it to me too.
: -)
Thank you.

Don't forget to add your name to the hat for the giveaway.
I'll announce the winner on Monday.

I feel better now that I've blogged.
: -)
I know you are all rooting for me - so I shan't darken the door at DQ today.


  1. I know exactly how you feel. Sugar is my addiction too. How about going out for a short walk when you crave it?

  2. Wonderful wonderful dumping the tea out! You are so very strong. I wish I was that strong...I just ate the last of the fruit loops. Me. The one who bragged about not eating any more sugar. Why didn't I throw it away? Frugality?! Seriously?
    I failed. Today. But not tomorrow, God willing.
    Cheering you on, Jayme! And I love the idea of the bracelet.

  3. I spend days like that when I am off sugar, Jayme. It is a terrible feeling. Sometimes I find that if I get some "hidden" sugar in something if that doesn't cause cravings....but usually it is just me looking for a fix. Oh- Yes- Looking for the next sugar high. I SOOO get it. Hang on- the day will soon be over and you will wake up tomorrow feeling wonderful that you didn't cave in to it. xo Diana

  4. Jayme, I am so proud of you. I went on a Dr. Atkins diet was the absolute best I ever felt in my life(high protein) and I loved how I looked even. But because I am on blood thinners for my whole life, I could not have so much green things in my diet, thus the salads....which is a huge part of that diet . Sorry I am on a tangent.....I read that years ago, in the 1800's, the average person had , maybe a 5 pound bag of sugar the whole year. Now it's up to 32 five pound bags a year !! If you think that 32 pounds of sugar is nothing....try to count the bags of sugar on a store shelf....that is how much sugar the average person consumes in the food we eat today, plus snacks and pop, etc. It's shocking. Today I came home from town without candy or ice cream...I just have to make myself get away from it too. So you have many sisters out here trying to be as strong as you are. Blessings, xoxo,Susie
    p.s. Love the purse !!

  5. Hello, im Carrie, and Im a sugar addict.

    Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery.
    I need to stay away from the sugar drug too, but it is hard. I hate being controlled by something (or someone) too, at least i have that going for me.

  6. One day at a time Jayme! We're all here with you.....I'm on my 5th day on a low carb jump start. I'm having a better day than I had yesterday....thank heavens! Let's do this!

  7. Have been reading your past post and feeling your pain. I hope your VW will not be too costly if it needs repair. Seems something is always happening when we do not have funds.

    I am with you on the withdrawals, I am crashing badly. I too started 2 weeks ago cutting out sugar, got to get this winter weight off from 5 winters ago that keeps hanging on. I lost 30 and gained back 10. This keeps being the norm over the years. I have 50 more to go just to feel better. Not looking to be what I looked like when I got married some 30 years ago, but somewhere in between. Getting off sugar is tough; I did it last year and felt wonderful after the withdrawals which lasted for me a month. I was doing well, learn that everything you buy in the stores has sugar, read the labels. Amazing how they hide sugar with various names. Now I cook everything from scratch. But with the downsizing stated last January 2013 and then the move 4 months later to a smaller place and overall missing some things I had to get rid of… I started eating semisweet chocolate bits thinking that would be okay… that started the ball rolling, then came Halloween and of course the holidays…
    So I have cut it all out but I still have to have some in my coffee but it’s only a half a teaspoon and not the usual whole tsp. I am from the south, if they knew I was drinkin’ tea without sugar they would run me out of town so keep that quiet. I like the tea with no sugar now but the coffee, it’s still an issue.
    Brain fog…. Man.. it won’t let up…. I am thankful the keyboard has a backspace button and spell check; without it no one could read what I am typing.
    Keep up the de-cluttering, think of it this way; Its less stuff to clean, dust and well…whatever…. It’s like losing weight, you feel lighter and all around better and so will your soul.

    Hang in there, you are not alone, and Spring will be here soon… Keeping you in prayer.

  8. Oh happy birthday! When I have to have sweet but cant have the sugar cause it stresses my nerves and all Ill chew on sugarless gum or an apple. I really sympathize. I cannot have caffeine or sugar for different reasons than you (I do indulge now and then) I have been in the position of wanting and cant have. You seem really determined, and I just know youll make it!

  9. I love the bracelet . . .
    Hope your VW feels better tomorrow!
    I am almost through day four without sugar. I said no to banana cream pie at a family gathering. I was honest and said no thank you, sugar was controlling me and I decided to nt let that happen anymore.

  10. Cute bracelet and that purse is perfect for you. I am a work in progress Jayme. I do put honey in my tea still, but maybe just about a half a teaspoon. No cookies in the cookie jar and no yummy baked goods around here but my cheat today was a few ritz crackers, with a tablespoon of peanut butter and a few (9) Ghirardelli chocolate chips. What are you eating all day? What can you eat that will just satisfy you some way? Curious. How are you going to harvest honey this summer? I understand refined sugar, but I allow myself a little honey here and there. I do drizzle a little on the top of my yogurt too. Not much though. You are really being hardcore. Well, I guess a girl has gotta do what a girl has gotta do! Hope you can figure out what is going on with that cute little bug of yours. Nothing worse than car woes.


  11. Oh, that bracelet is soooo delicious looking! Have fun filling it up! xox

  12. Hi--I too am working on the sugar thing--I do though still "require" my 3 squares of dark chocolate--
    but that is half of what I did eat in the dark chocolate--my question is about yogurt--I am addicted to it for lunch--I now buy the Stoneyfield organic kind--one flavored and one plain and I mix them half and half for lunch--but it shows alot of sugar on the back of the container-but does not list any added sugar--my question is--is the sugar in yogurt good or bad?????
    I have also went gluten free--at least 98%--still eat a waffle for breakfast--just one!!!
    and boy have I felt a big difference there--and have actually lost some weight with out doing alot of exercising--and that has not happened before--so I am really happy about that--
    My thoughts and prayers are with you--
    and I love your new bag and happy birthday--
    hugs, di and kitty-miss gracie

  13. Keep focusing on what you know you want, Jayme. It's a tough thing, I know, but I know you can do it. Sorry about the VW, the maters and the wet chicken tending. Love the bracelet! Very sweet!

  14. Hang in there Jayme!! You've already proved to yourself and the world that you have an amazing amount of willpower- so there is no doubt you can do this!!

  15. How can chickens look old fashioned, but they do in that cute picture you posted? They just look differently some how from my barred rocks. And you are still having your period? My heart goes out to you. That's one thing I was glad to say good-bye to.

  16. Want to raise chickens but not sure what type of coop is best for your backyard? These 11 stylish chicken houses will help you decide whether to buy one or design and build one yourself — plus how to make a coop work with your landscape.

  17. YES! Yet another great idea, . . . I'm buying myself "Live a Happy Life" bracelet too. . . and I too will wear it after one month of no sugar, I will go read more about it on Alex and Ani site, but 'courage' 'appreciation' and 'choice'. perfect!! "courage" to change, the "choice" is ours, and "appreciation" of making the right choices giving us quality of life. . . yay Jayme. . . I have lot's of Alex and Ani, and they all remind me of something, my "om" bracelet reminds me to stop and breath, I have so many, and they all have so much meaning to me . . .they lay on the inside of my arm, when you lift your arm up with all your bracelets on, it just describes who you are. . . they are so neat, glad you liked it!


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