Thursday, March 6, 2014

Living a Happy Life




I think I'm safe in saying it's what we all long for - hope for -
to live a happy life.

Personally - I cannot live that life that I long for when I'm enslaved to things, or in poor health.
I cannot live that life when I'm smothering in my own home from clutter.
And I'm all about living my best life.
I have no idea where it comes from, but my soul rather demands it of me.

It's why I ditched my SmartPhone 8 months ago.
It's why I ditched wheat and dairy a couple of years ago.
It's why I ditched sugar a couple of weeks ago.
It's why I continue to declutter and live in simplicity.

It's why I have chickens, and bees and gardens.
It's why I blog.
I'm happiest when I'm sharing myself in the hopes that I can inspire someone else to find their happy life - and maybe - just maybe - it's on the same road that I'm traveling, and I like company.

Yesterday's blog made me feel vulnerable - but you know what?
I don't care.
I'm tired.
I'm tired of hiding things.
It is what it is.
I'm a sugar addict and I can eat a half dozen king sized Snickers bar within five minutes and still want more.


Is there inherently anything wrong with that?
I really don't think so - I mean - if you are happy living that way - then live that way.
I'm seriously not judging.  I'm not.
If what I'm about to say sounds the least bit sarcastic, please know - I'm seriously not wanting it to.

What I'm saying is - if you are overweight, and well, not happy about it - and if you notice that you seem to not be able to control your eating - but you want to eat it anyway - and you don't really care about what you are doing to your health - then I say - fine.  If you notice that you can have a slice of cake once in a while and it causes you no ill effect - so be it!  Enjoy!

cannot.

Putting sugar in my tea in the morning keeps all of the cravings alive and well, and keeps me in a constant battle of wanting more.
A slice of birthday cake at a party causes fireworks in my brain, that I absolutely adore - and within days I'm at the drugstore candy aisle looking for some circus peanuts, Mike and Ike's or anything as sugary as possible to feed my addiction.
I really wish it weren't so.
But, alas - it is.
And then I go and go and feed that addiction in a frenzy - only to finally wake up in the proverbial gutter - feeling like a complete loser.
Why in God's name would I continue that behavior?

Maybe for some of you, it is like it is for Glenco.
He can open a candy bar - take a bite and leave it on the counter for days.
Of course - it never lasted days, cause I was here.
My left eye would twitch until that bar was gone.

How do you simply forget that you were eating a candy bar?

You might be saying - well what about artificial sweeteners, or things like those breakfast cookies that I see so often on Pinterest...sweetened with just a banana!

It's all the same for me - it's like an alcoholic switching to non alcoholic beers - the behavior is still there, I'm still giving my brain what it is demanding - and I won't have that!


I won't go on anymore right now - cause I just don't want to run this subject into the ground.
If you do want to talk more about it - please feel free to contact me. 

I'm just sharing my life here - and right now - this is my life.
But guess what?
I have no cravings right now whatsoever.
For that, I'm thankful.
It might change tomorrow, and I know that.

My mind is so much clearer - and you'll be glad to know that I'm working on making cards out of my drawings!  In fact - I may have some ready for sale as soon as tomorrow!  
I'm giving the credit for that to being sugar free....it seems like I can finally keep my thoughts in a row long enough to follow through with some things.

Life is better this way.


25 comments:

  1. Love everything you write Jayme...I can relate to so much of it...just love you so much!!!

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  2. Sweetheart, when you said addicted to sugar..you meant it. I thought you were just whining like I do cause I can't eat everything I'd love too. I make the cookie monster look like a whimp.:):) Today I went to my dentist...it's so good we never had sugar much while growing up.....I would not have the teeth I have now...and I have lost lots and have extensive work on what is left. I brush, floss, and get x-rays and cleaning 2 times a year. I am proud that you gave up the things you have...you are amazingly strong. Please give yourself credit for your strengths. I think bee keeping could be so fun. I have talked about chickens with my husband...now my SIL is getting some to try his hand at raising them for eggs. Oh sorry Jayme, I'll write more tomorrow. Blessings, xoxox,Susie

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  3. I think sharing your vulnerability is what touches me the most. I, too, am a sugar addict. There is no such thing as "a" piece of cake or "a" cookie or one Hershey kiss. I walk past those horrible orangish colored circus peanuts and my mouth starts to water. I can eat a bag faster than you can imagine. Sugar is my kryptonite. I absolutely HAVE to avoid it like the plague. I got off the Paleo wagon at Thanksgiving. I knew myself well enough to know that if everyone else was having a freaking piece of pecan pie, I would not REST until I had a piece...or two. I managed to keep my weight in check throughout the holidays and when I weighed in back in January I had even lost about a quarter of a pound. And I was so proud. So proud that I thought I could still occasionally be "bad". And I was. And the winter from hell was upon us and I ate like an bear getting ready to hibernate. This morning my skirt was tight. Thankfully there are no more "fat" clothes in the house so it is either hit Paleo hard or wear glove tight clothing and have my pants look like there are two bulldogs in a gunny sack fighting to get out.

    What this boils down to is this - PREACH it, sistah!

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  4. Thank you Jayme for your transparency!

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  5. Well--here is one for you--
    My addition is to salty things--chips--oh how I love chips--and crackers and toast and....
    now sugar--not much--I can take a bite or not of cookie, cakes, ect--and throw the rest in the garbage--but not those chips!!!
    my only sugar habit is--Dark Chocolate-- and Ghiradelli's is it!! 2 squares after lunch and 2 squares after supper!! I do add sugar to tea, cereal, nothing and when I still baked some--I cut all sugar in half in the recipes--
    I do not do foods with sodium Nitrates, food colorings, or preservatives--so that does help some on the dieting end--yet I gain weight--grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!
    Two weeks ago I go to the dr for my yearly blood work and they call and have the nerve to tell me that I am pre-diabetic!!! (it's in the genes--from my Mom's side of the family!!!)
    So I am back to once again reading and learning and reinventing my diet--pretty soon there will be nothing left for me to eat?????

    And for decluttering--I have worked on that for years now--but somehow--it seems there is still way too much in here--so just today I have hired a gal to come and help me spring clean and de-own!!!

    so you are not alone--we will fight this fight together--
    hugs, di and kitty-miss gracie

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    Replies
    1. Opps that one line on the sugar should read--
      I do NOT add sugar to---

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    2. Check out the Trim, Healthy Mama diet - that's what I'm using to keep from becoming diabetic. Runs in my family. I wish you the best!

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  6. Oh by gosh you are brave. We should have a club like AA and stand up each week and say I am a sugar addict... Maybe it would help.. I give sugar up for lent and it saves me forty days at least..The holidays are hell. Everyone else is so excited and I am just in a panic because if I don't go to parties I am a recluse they say and if I go I am miserable because I come away loaded down with sugar and feeling ashamed..So know you are not alone.. .

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  7. Yes! Yes!! AMEN!! I knew I was addicted to sugar when I stood at a dessert buffet next to a woman I didn't know and I had devised a mental plan to wait until she moved away so I could grab one of everything to try without "guilt." Instead, I turned to her and said, a bit sarcastically, "Hi. My name is Kate...hi Kate... And I'm addicted to sugar." She laughed and took more, and I shoveled poison into my face with a co-conspirator.
    Thank you, Jayme, for your transparency and willingness to cheer us all on.
    You're the best!

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  8. Thank you for your honest posts yesterday and today! I know that I am a sugar addict also. I went cold-turkey when I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes, and never felt better! Now I am just sticking my head in the sand and ignoring the affects that my sugar (carb) addiction is having on me. I really appreciate your description of how you feel "sugar free" because it gives me hope that maybe it is once again possible for me to reach that, and it reminded me how I did feel. It truly does come down to decisions every waking minute. Thank you, Jayme!

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  9. I want to hug you so much right now! I knew that you were going through stuff recently, and all I could really do was hope that you were okay when you came out the other side ... I'm really proud of you.

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  10. love your honesty all the time!!! nancy

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  11. This:

    'Maybe for some of you, it is like it is for Glenco.
    He can open a candy bar - take a bite and leave it on the counter for days.
    Of course - it never lasted days, cause I was here.
    My left eye would twitch until that bar was gone.

    How do you simply forget that you were eating a candy bar?'

    Absolutely this.

    How do they do it, what IS their secret??!

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  12. Jayme girl.....I have to tell you, just yesterday morning (before I read your blog) I was consumed in guilt and frustration with my weight. I have yo-yoed all my life and over the last year, gained back 40 lbs of the nearly 100 I lost several years ago. I'm not into sugar....it's the salty stuff I can't leave alone. Bags of potato chips are secretly eaten in my car because I am a health food eating vegetarian that is supposed to be setting a good example for friends and family.

    Anyway, yesterday morning I was thinking to myself....Jayme would understand this, she struggles too! I was thrilled to see your post! It was all SUPPOSED to happen yesterday! So, starting yesterday, I started a low carb detox....may I say, I have a bell ringer headache right now, but it has to happen. If I tried weaning myself off carb overload....ha!

    I wish you all the luck in the world my friend.. one step at a time, right? We just have to keep plugging along!

    Cindy from Reno

    PS....circus peanuts? Really?

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  13. I have been wanted to cut more sugar from my diet as well....I have read that sugar converts right to fat...and the battle of the bulge is what I am fighting now. I also read that sugar is more addictive than cocaine...and while that seems hard to believe...all you have to do is look at all the junk filled with sugar...it's a wonder we are not a country of diabetics!
    I wish you luck on your journey.

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  14. I appreciate these last 2 posts so much. I keep coming back to your blog because we have so much in common. Unfortunately. Ha! I also weaned off Effexor last year, blogged about it and I think you left me a comment after I commented on your post. I am doing soooo well off the Effexor, but food is definitely a hang up for me. Mine is sugar - but also carbs really of any sort. Even just bread. Right now I am 3 days off wheat and always feel sooooo much better but like you, I could eat a whole huge amount of it at any point and be right back where I was. Ugh. So thank you for the vulnerability.

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  15. Jayme, The book Potatoes Not Prozac is about sugar sensitivity by a PhD who studied why alcoholics so often go back to alcohol even after detoxing. Alcohol is sugar. These people have a sugar sensitivity. It also talks about moods and sugar. Yes, for some of us sugar is a drug and any amount lights the fire of craving. The book tells about how to eat protein and complex carbs (and good fat is important too) to feel satisfied and to keep the sugar craving away. I don't agree with everything she says but that book helped me get off sugar and eat much better. Sounds like you don't need it but you might find it interesting and helpful. What has helped me the most in staying away from sugar is reminding myself that it DOES NOT SATISFY. Thanks for sharing so honestly. Becky

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  16. Jayme,
    You speak for so many of us! Sugar addiction is sure enough, the same as any other addiction. After I walked beside a family member through their journey with alcoholism, I was face to face with the reality of how my lack of control with sugar was identical to theirs with alcohol. Same excuses, justification and desire, but inability to handle "just a little bit." There is an expression alcoholics know well: "One is too many and a hundred is never enough." Fits the sugar addict just as well. Most would never believe that, but those of us who crave sugar know better!
    The desire to do better, be healthy, keep the weight off once and for all...been there, still doing that.
    We are only given one day at a a time. All we can do is live the same way.
    I enjoy your blog each and every time. You have a lot of "sisters" out here.
    Susan

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  17. I am sure you don't realize what an impact your past two posts have made. Day two for me and I am feeling inspired and passing your insight on to others!

    Thank you Jayme . . .

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  18. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are amazing Look at all you accomplish. I admire your honesty and strength in still trying to pursue clean living. Go Jayme. You do inspire me to try harder. Remember ..it is a day at a time...

    Debra

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  19. " It's why I ditched my SmartPhone 8 months ago.
    It's why I ditched wheat and dairy a couple of years ago.
    It's why I ditched sugar a couple of weeks ago.
    It's why I continue to declutter and live in simplicity."

    I'm miserable about my clutter I feel exactly that "smothered" every room, every drawer, I am miserable I went back to sugar and wheat and dairy. . . these two posts inspire me to get back to control of my happiness. . . I thought I had it licked but like an addict, one slip up and I'm back on the sugar train, what a drug. . . what a high, I have to treat it like just that, an addiction, it's off limits it's poison period. I need to be more in control of the things that make me unhappy, the extra weight I put on, the clutter in my home, I'm miserable. I will stop being down about it, and refer back to this post of taking control for the things that are making me unhappy.

    Thank you for this post jayme

    "Outter order contributes to inner calm" wish I could give credit to who quoted this. . . I got it from the Happiness Project site.

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  20. OMG what a beautiful image!

    And you are preaching to the choir here! I have those same damn sugar cravings, it's ridiculous! I have always loved candy, chocolate, pastry, blah blah blah blah blah.. and being a good baker makes it even worse. I have really being trying to cut it all out, and I have cut it WAY down, but not completely. Every day I wake up and say NO MORE SUGAR ANYTHING. AT ALL. and I fail. But I have cut it down to almost none. Every time I go to the grocery store I have to talk myself out of buying a chocolate bar for the ride home.

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  21. Jayme you are just awesome. Very few people are willing to "put themselves out there" and your honesty is a breath of fresh air. I too am a sugar addict. 6 years ago I lost 30 pounds cutting out the sugars and the starches. As of 2 weeks ago I had gained back 24 pounds of the 30 I had lost. Two days ago I told myself ENOUGH and jumped back on the low carb wagon. I refuse to live my life in too tight clothes and feeling unhappy about the way I look. Don't beat yourself up. I know this is a struggle I will have the rest of my life (I will be 50 in July). So I want to hit 50 being as FABULOUS as I can be, and 24 pounds lighter. So keep being honest and reminding the rest of us that we're all on the same path. You rock girl friend!!!!!

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  22. Hey there! I lost 20 pounds from June to November then the Holidays, and winter, hit. You have just motivated me to get back on track! Thank you!
    We'll see how I do when it's not 4;30 in the morning and I'm up moving around. Gotta be quiet since we are still living in one room! Augh! I'm anxious to see how my bees fared this horrible winter. So far it looks like two out of nine hives have survived. Hang in there Jayme. Spring isn't far off and fresh produce will be everywhere!

    Cindy Bee

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  23. You are an inspiration! I long for the simple life and I love reading your blog. It brings me down a level and is relaxing :)

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