Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Chicken Sponsors Needed

Dear Readers
As you know - some chickens are horribly mistreated.
Deplorable conditions.
No love.
No human contact.

Many meet their demise in ways I shant describe in detail.

Enough said.

Here at the Coop - we nurture our birds, and shower them with treats and loving kindness.
You can be assured that we house some rather pampered fowl.

Due to recent additions of Mallard ducks, assorted Bantams and a half dozen or so new layers -
things are becoming a tad over crowded.
I find it difficult to give each bird the attention it deserves.
Ducks are forced to cohabitate with felines.

This taint natural.
Some birds are left in solitary confinement much too long.

The diaper costs alone have been breaking the Coop Keeper's budget.

Friends, it's in a true spirit of humility - I ask for your help.
For a generous donation of $39 a month -
you can assure that these fine fowl are given the best treatment.
The treatment they deserve.

Wouldn't you sleep a little better every night knowing that you helped?
Your sponsorship helps fund these chicken activities, and more...

Physical therapy...

Proper hygiene...

 Prompt medical care...
Weekly Sunday drives in the country...

Anger management courses...

Daily exercise classes led by certified chickens...

Interpretative dance classes...

Beauty pageants...

Art classes...

And of course -

Food and clothing...

Included in your sponsorship of only $39 a month:
Photos of your sponsored bird, as well as daily egg reports, delicious recipes (for eggs!) and correspondence from your chicken.

  Can you find it in your heart to help? 

I dream of a world where chickens roam free - and their motive to cross the road is not questioned.
Be a part of the solution my friends.
Sponsor a chicken today.

 The end. 


  1. I was at the library reading this, they might throw me out if I can't stop laughing.

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  3. Sending my check today to help those poor deprived chickens live a full life. This is a 501c charitable organization, right? :D

  4. I may have wet my pants whilst giggling.

    I want to claim Henrietta.

    Surely, you have a chicken named Henrietta.


  5. Hey, what am I talking about?!! My chickens don't have any of those things! Forget it, I'm putting my money where my mouth is!

  6. Jayme,

    I thought you were announcing that your husband turned you in to Animal Hoarders and you were looking for new homes. I LOVE the picture of the chick being dipped. Priceless - You and your chickens.

    Your Friend,

  7. Joy, I have a chicken named Henrietta and she gladly takes checks AND money orders! :D

  8. Are these birds living in Ethiopia, China or Haiti?


  9. You are hilarious. I would help, but I just added 8 more chicks to my flock.

  10. So sweet and silly and oh how I enjoy your wit. I might just sign up if I weren't a fledgling pink chicken!

  11. This might be your funniest post to date, Jayme. HILARIOUS!! And since I'm a mean, ornery, chicken-eatin' cuss, NO, I won't help.

  12. Great sales pitch - but I'm too chicken. ;)

    Love your house up there in the header photo(s). So charming.

  13. You have made my day Jayme ! I am laughing so hard. If my chicken writes to me, will I be able to read the Chicken Scratch? lol

  14. I love it! And just so you know all of our hens are back under one roof and doing just fine! Thanks for your advice!!!

  15. "where their motive to cross the road isn't questioned" Now that's funny stuff right there!!
    Austin, TX

  16. ROTFLOL!!!!
    You made my day with laughter.

  17. It's a rainy, dreary day here---this is JUST what I needed to make it bright. I needed a laugh!! Thank you for your creative take on life!!
    Do you have any coop chicken serum left?

  18. your too brilliant and what a good post for me to read at the end of a really nasty workday!! Perfect!
    and glad your back and WHAT?? 30lbs...I can only hope I make it that far...dieting is HARD!!!
    Glad to see you back and I applaud your skeleton frame. Thank You!

  19. I just started a small flock a few weeks ago. I am thinking they have a pretty nice home & are loved. I spend quite a bit of time with them each day. I am getting two more chicks from a farmer soon. i may need sponsers myself. LOL! Blessings!

  20. Gosh, I have a backyard full of homeless roosters. Maybe they could get some sponsors too?

  21. So hilarious....but I have adopted three of my own and they are just 3 weeks old, so all the big expenses are yet to come....tomorrow the coop is coming....a large shed that cost me a fortune. Oh, and then there is the chandelier all bejeweled. Just so I could have a few fresh eggs!!!! Yikes!

    Loved the post....as always!

  22. I can't afford to help, but I will spread the word about your blog and your needs! I was laughing my butt off reading this by the way!

  23. This is the BEST POST EVER!!! Loved it! I want to give you money! You have found your calling.

  24. I adore you and I want to be in the mission field with you.

  25. Jayme, Jayme, Jayme,
    You are too marvelous for words...

  26. Oh my goodness this was the most ridiculously wonderful thing I have read all day....I'm with Janie I would love to join you in your mission! I don't think I have ever seen a chicken getting a bath before...HA-LARIOUS!

  27. Hilarious! Do you ever find time to sleep;)???


  28. Ok, I think you are hilarious and so witty, I can't wait to read a new post from you, however, my 16 yr. old daughter questions your insanity as I often have her come to the computer to review one of your post with me. OMG! I was laughing so hardy, she wondered what was going on in here. I will be sharing this post as well with the girls at work!! Keep it up Coop Keeper!!!!!

  29. OMG!! hahahahahahahahahaha! I bet you get some takers too!!

  30. Oh Jayme! You are a riot. I think that $39 is a bargain for all you are getting for your money. I wish someone would sponsor me. I want the life of one of your chickens.

  31. I'm pretty sure this is your funniest post to date. And that's saying something!
    Truly inspired, Coopster.

  32. Hysterical post, and I love your blog! Very cleverly written and gorgeous photos of your birds. :) I just signed in to follow your blog. Would love it if you followed mine as well!



  33. DITTO all the above!!! Had to keep it under control as I work at a CPA firm (you know, those reserved types...)
    Pics are great- thanks for making my day a little brighter!

  34. Imagine if you were a chicken and were lucky to land at your chicken coop. Best kept chickens in the world.!

  35. It is so hard to stay quiet at work while reading your blog. Muffling my laughter is not easy to do! LOVE this post, the photos and captions are so great!

  36. Okay, that's it. This blog entry went online via my Facebook - I have too many friends who will fall over laughing as they read it.
    What a hoot, Jayme!

  37. I haven't laughed out loud over something I read in a long time. Thanks so much for the humor!

    Your chickies are adorable!

    (Newest follower.)

  38. I should know by now to be prepared with Depends and not have a mouth full of coffee when I come visit. THIS post had me in stitches. I LOVE the chicken diaper.... For some reason that floored me. YOU have such a talent for making folks laugh and after all, laughter is perfect medicine.

    God richly bless and keep you and yours.

  39. Duh... I wish blogspot would allow us to edit our comment after we have posted...

    I wanted to say I love your new blog look!! Way to go gal!!!

  40. truly hilarious. You're a funny cluck.

  41. I'm glad your chickens have art classes. I'm a firm believer in art education. What's with that red and white outfit with the zipper? Chicken wear? Nancy

  42. this has to be the besy post i've ever read on a blog. it needs to be published in a book. the photos are great too!!!!!!

  43. This is so funny. I am still laughing. And like you I completely spoil my chickens. I am a brand new chicken keeper but I have gone above and beyond to provide them with the very best. They even have a chandelier in their coop. I just started a blog and I am going to link to this fantastic post.


  44. OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!! Thank you for completely tickling my funny bone this morning, I SO needed it. I am so grateful that you share your wonderfully God given sense of humor with us on a regular basis. Don't ever change!


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