Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Last Time I Had a Hangover....

It's a weird day outside.
It's nearly June and the heat is running.

I thought a weird story was fitting.

Once upon a time - I promised Aaron the Boychild that I would take him to the Body World Exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.

Photos of said exhibit shall be interspersed in this text -
be ye forewarned.

Promise kept.
Tickets bought.
I can't quite remember - but I think this was 2007?

The night before, I met up with a few of my gal pals - affectionately known as 'The Ya's"
Now - these girls like their wine - and so do I, but I really don't consider myself a drinker - in fact - I think it was this past December, the last time I had an alcoholic drink.

At the time, I was doing Weight Watchers.
I knew that they would all be enjoying wine, and that I really wouldn't be able to partake, but I wanted in on the fun - so I bought two tiny little bottles of Spiced Rum - you know the airplane sized ones?
I had all my WW points counted out - as I poured it into my Diet Coke.

Fun ensued.
More food.
More laughs.
More ensuing.

Well, they seemed to be having a lot more fun than I was - so I had some wine.
See - you can tell I'm not a drinker - I didn't know you weren't supposed to mix the two.

It was about 3am when I woke up at my friend Aisha's house - I might have been vomiting. 
Maybe, a little.

Glen came and picked me up - now get this -
G-Diddy - is awakened by a phone call in the wee hours of the morning that his wife is in no shape to drive and needs a ride home.
He comes and gets me.
He is laughing as he's trying to help me walk - and telling me how cute I look.
For reals.

When the alarm went off the next morning, signaling me that it was time to get ready to go to Chicago, I was mortified.

I do not believe I have ever been that sick.
There was no way in heck I was going to disappoint Aaron, and I got ready, all the while, having a bucket nearby.

I rode in the passenger seat in the fetal position with a bucket.

A plastinated cadaver displaying the human arterial sytem is displayed at BODY WORLDS 4 by Professor Gunther Von Hagens at Manchester Museum of Science and Industry on February 21, 2008, Manchester, England. Since its debut in Tokyo in 1996, the show has sparked controversy and curiosity. German scientist Gunther von Hagens, who created the show and developed the preservation technique used to preserve the bodies, called

We get to the museum, and I have no idea how I'm going to walk in.

We are standing in this large crowd of people, in this maze of red velvet ropes, waiting for the exhibit to open so we can file in.

I was going down. 
I crumpled.
I was now sitting on the floor.
I managed to get up and get to the bathroom - where they had a large marble slab to sit on.
The coolness was such a relief.

I mustered up the strength to leave, and found a security guard.
I told him how ill I was and that I needed a wheelchair.

Are you laughing yet!?

I was so sick.

Aaron, bless his heart - was so worried about me and was doting over me.
He was now pushing me into the crowded Body World exhibit in a wheelchair.

As we bumped into the heels of the people in front of us, they would turn around sharply at first, and then give me a look of pity.
All I could think of was how guilty I felt - realizing that these people probably thought I had MS or cancer -
but all I had was a hangover.

I ask you, are these the images you would like to see when you are on the verge of vomiting?
I thought not.

That day went down in history as one of the worst days of my life.
I was on the verge of vomiting the entire time while I was pushed around the museum looking at petrified body parts, ala Dr. Frankenstein.

Don't mix your spirits my friends.


  1. My sides are hurting. Only you could make a hangover funny. Hugs, Deb=^..^=x4

  2. Oops, I left my comment about drinking too much on your baby bird day blog. I will go back and repost it here, sorry!

  3. OK, here is my drinking story:
    A couple of years ago on Cinco de Mayo were were invited to an all you can eat deal (too long of a story to explain) and there were also all you can drink margaritas. I drink about as often as you mentioned and I can tell when I have reached my limit. I usually drink a white wine, wine cooler, or one fuzzy navel. I felt the margaritas kicking in, so I stopped. Well, no one bothered to tell me that tequila has an after-burner stage! Hubby and I went to Wal-Mart on the way home and I was certifiably drunk at Wal-Mart! I was telling people how nice they looked, talking loudly (even more so than I usually do), and not able to remember a dang thing that we came in to get. But I didn't KNOW I was drunk, that is the ultra funny part. So here is your future warning: don't drink margaritas or tequila! I think I would have died just going to that body exhibit without being hungover or drunk. Gotta love your honesty!!!!!!

  4. LMAO. And I bet the whole time, you were saying "I'm NEVER gonna drink again. EVER."

    Isn't it funny how never almost always comes back around eventually?

  5. OMG. I'm so glad I decided to swallow my coffee before reading your story or my monitor would be dripping now. That exhibit came to Seattle, but I knew there was no way I could stomach that, and that's without the benefit of alcohol. You poor dear. Not mixing was the first lesson I learned in college.

  6. tehehehe...makes me want to start quoting lines from The Hangover. Friends don't let friends go see body parts like that when they are hangin'. What a good aunt you are. You remind me of my sister, she is the same for my boys.

  7. So, I am thinking with all the In and Out, you just about broke even on the Weight Watchers points.

  8. HA! You deserve a medal and a halo for not letting your nephew down. I'd have had to bow out of the activities for the day. Not a drinker either. What a funny story and photos to go along with it though... snort


  9. i think that is the funniest post ever! i'm sorry, but it's true:) i've never drank...and i'm 30!

  10. You are too funny, you had my mind or overdrive picturing you huggin' the bucket. That is pure love to not want to disappoint Aaron, I know for a fact I would have lost it in the museum not only because I was sick to my stomach but the exhibits sure were life like.

    I don't drink but after graduation I did party hard and learned my lesson, I hugged the cold white porcelain thrown for hours. What an echo those things have, I learned my lesson at an early age not to drink.

  11. My stomach hurts, not from the disgusting photos, but from LMBO! Sorry, Jayme.. but that was funny - I don't care who ya are ;) Bless your heart for being the best Aunt out there! Never will I mix those 2 spirits. I truly didn't know! Thanks for the warning, my friend. -Tammy

  12. Well, good gross a'mighty! After reading your account and looking at those monstrous works of "art," I think I need a bucket.

  13. I just found you today and I'm still laughing,, I'll be back for more,, so funny!!

  14. Sooo funny!!

  15. Piker! Remind me when you visit to serve you a chemical cocktail. No sense in wasting Patty's.

    I am smiling. I don't do vodka. It does me. The first time I was at a corporate function, at a very exquisite high end restaurant. The private party was held upstairs. It is in Manhattan in an old brownstone. I hadn't eaten all day and had some screwdrivers for dinner. :O I was fine until I stood up and realized my legs weren't listening to my brain. I got to the top of the stairs and looked at the well dressed man next to me and asked How do you suppose I do this? I sat down, lifted my dress and slid down on my ass.
    The well dressed man? He was the CEO of the company.

    Your Friend,

  16. you. kill. me. I love ya kid, no kidding, I do!

  17. You are a riot! I don't drink a lot but I do love me a good margarita! I haven't had a hangover for years,cuz once you've had one you figure out pretty quick you don't want another. You are such a sweet aunt. I know I wouldn't have been able to do what you did, although the wheelchair was a brilliant idea!

  18. Seriously, I about spit my chardonnay across the room reading this. This is one of your best stories. Evah! Gosh, I love ya Coop Keeper!

  19. It has been a very long time since I nursed a hangover. But the worse one I had I was hmmm 30somthing and went out with friends having my normal lite beer and was offered a tequila shot. Do you know after you have one of those you do not remember having anymore of them? did not make it into work the next day but was delivered the greasiest burger in town for my lunch my work cohorts. The same ones I do believe that I went out with the night before. I am sure I was feeling quite similar to you at the museum and would not have made it out my back door for a million dollars. Well maybe a million if someone would put me in a wheelchair.

  20. Jayme, LMBO, in here Michigan too! You're such a riot!

  21. I needed a good laugh tonight Jayme. You are too funny!

  22. Jayme, this story is "oh so you". Love ya

  23. We saw that exhibit too... and it's ..just... crazy. Gross. but very informative..and crazy grossly informative. Did I say gross? Yeah, that.

  24. Oh my gosh!! Hilarious! I mean, not really because vomiting is soooo not fun but the way you told it? Hilarious! lol

  25. I couldn't read your post past the first picture...I just got back from eating dinner out with the family. I had pulled brisket...stringy meat. It's actually making a lump in my Maybe I'll get Mr. D to read it to me like a bedtime story, with my eyes shut.

  26. Jayme

    As I laugh through the tears I'm so sorry you felt wretched from imbibing mixed alcohol, and to have to look at petrified human remains while on the verge of vomiting, oh the injustice of it all!

    You do know how to tell a story though. Are you sure you're not a stand up comic?


  27. Those exibits would make anyone queasy, but you have to push the envelope! Funny but pitiful in a very familar "Been there, done that" kinda way!

  28. Law, Aibie!!! This is the best thing I ever did read. I'm wishing I'd brought some mini spiced rums to Springfield. And now that I think of it, does spiced rum belong in coke??? I think not.

    ps- I have now seen more of the body exhibit than I ever care to see again.

  29. Oh this is Hilarious! I can picture it so clearly, not that I've ever been there! Ha-haa! Love the photos! the gore and all!

  30. Ok that first picture of the nerves or whatever almost made me queasy and I haven't had anything to drink. The whole event is hilarious though!

  31. OH MY GOSH I AM DYING OVER HERE! So funny. SOooooo funny.



  32. Oh Jayme, only you could make a hangover story like that so funny. :-) Props to your hubby for coming to get you and being so sweet about it. You got yourself a really great guy!

  33. funny!!! you look great in that pic. AND what a nice husband. jan

  34. Too funny! Although I kind of hate to laugh at your misfortune.

  35. OMG! I don't know if I could look at those displays in your condition! Good for you, you are such a good aunt.

  36. You crack me up!! Whenever I need a laugh I read a post of yours!
    I will now look closer at all people in wheelchairs!

  37. Hahahahahahhaha! Oh my gosh. Thank you. I needed to laugh (with you, not at you of course!). Priceless. And P.S. I applaud your determination to follow through on a promise no matter what!

  38. ((no words)) laughing too hard.

    Although, I am trying to imagine walking along and feeling a wheelchair bump me from behind - turning around and seeing the likes of you, looking/feeling rather pathetic - like you said.

  39. This is sooooooo fuuuuuunnnnnyyyyy!!!

    My family was laughing out LOUD!! cuz I had to share!!!

    Thanks for the picture yesterday...I feel special!

  40. It is still dark out. My hubby is sleeping, really, really sleeping, (SNORING) and I holding my sides with a laughter that won't stop. (The laughter stopped the snoring.). Sorry to laugh at your worst day of life,but thank you for making the beginning of my day, FABULOUS!
    Love, Lynne

  41. Dame Jayme! I would not even want to see that exhibit sober!

    Cindy Bee

  42. Now THAT is funny!!! Can't say that I wouldn't feel sick seeing those "people" on a normal day...although my sister in law went and bought a book and showed us the pictures; I think I liked yours better...especially with the story line. :) One thing good: it showed a person who smoke's lungs, and that picture stuck in my daughter's mind. Every time she sees someone smoking she says, "MOM, they have THOSE lungs!" I've never had to say a word about smoking being bad for the body. :)

  43. Jayme, I needed this so much today!!! I have recently had bad news in my family, but when I read your post I laughed so hard. I really needed a good laugh. Thanks for your humor. I love it!!

  44. I am finding those photos interesting... disturbing, sad? Your story aside, I think these people donated their bodies to science/research? I wonder what they would think if they knew this is how it would all end up? It sort of makes me marvel at God's intelligent design of the human body, but somehow, the display itself seems like a mockery of human dignity. Just a thought. Glad you are feeling much better now.

  45. didn't I leave a comment a few story back about coke coming out my nose from laughing at your stories??? you need to warn us! This is by far my the photos..;)

  46. Jayme,
    I have seen this exhibit at the Museum of Natural History in Los Angeles. It was awesome.

    But with a horrid hangover? I think not so much...

    I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!!!



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