A Lilies State of Mind

I be up in here considerin' the lilies y'all.

And can we just talk about the lilies for a minute?

Why are they already blooming?

Why are my black eyed susans in bud already?

It's a weird year - everything is so ahead.

My strawberries are about done already.

That reminds me of a story that I haven't told you yet.

It's a gruesome story of horror and woe and banty chicken heads.

I'll save it for another day - it's too lovely out to speak of such things.

as you can see, I like my beds FULL.  When I originally planted the garden - I put things much closer than they suggested, so that things would fill in faster.  I think this bed is about 8 years old now - I can't tell you how much I've thinned and given away - gardens, like most wonderful things - take time.  I like full beds cause you don't need to weed or mulch much!  I call it 'Square INCH Gardening'!

Glorious.

That's how I felt when I awoke this morning.

Excited.

Happy.

So looking forward to the day.

I don't even know what to say first - this post may not make a lick of sense.

Day six of a life without lists.

Guess what?

The house is clean - the laundry is done - the yard is coming along - I haven't missed any appointments and we are well fed.

And most importantly - we are all happy.

When Marmie is happy - everybody is happy.

Imagine that.

I realized yesterday how much I did things that really just didn't need doing.

How trapped my lists made me.

Grocery shopping on Thursdays.

What if I needed food on Tuesday?

I'd be so mad and frustrated that I had to go to the store on on 'off day'.

If I didn't mop the kitchen floor on Monday's - I felt a failure.

That sounds so ridiculous to me now.

Forcing myself to do sections of the garden each day - and then getting frustrated if the weather didn't cooperate and then 'I was behind!'.

Guess what?

All of my containers aren't even planted and I just don't give a hoot!

Lord have mercy.

I was one frustrated Coop Keeper most of the time.

I do want to interject here that my lists did serve me well years ago - when I was in utter chaos and never had food on the table or clean underwear in the drawer. My lists did train me - and got order up in here - now that order is a habit. The lists are no longer necessary.

I'll tell you a truth that my eyeball did twitch one time yesterday - and I almost got out the pen and paper.

But instead, I took my life in my own hands and answered a Freecycle ad for a box of size six and medium clothing that a gal was giving away.

I answered it "I'd love to have these clothes!  I've lost a hundred pounds and I need them!"

She responded kindly and gave me her address.

I was to be there at noon.

On the way there I realized that I could be going to pick up a box of cigarette smoke soaked, dog hair covered,

Walmart polyester mumus - but I was feeling reckless.

I picked up my box - thanked her - chatted a bit - and ran a few other errands on the way home.

Like groceries on a Tuesday.

Mmmhmmm.

Finally stopped and got my glasses tightened up - something I never felt I had time to do before.

All of the sudden - I feel like I have all the time in the world.

What's changed?

My mind.

Wow.

Got the clothes home - and girls - I hit the JACKPOT!

Gorgeous, expensive brand jeans - awesome tops - every season - super cute dresses.

A conservative estimate is about $900 worth of clothes.

What a gift that was.

I like adding garden ornaments (but not too many) and I like to use smaller, flowering shrubs to anchor the beds and fill things up.  I just planted those petunias in front of the goose cause there was a 12 x 24 inch patch of bare dirt.
Can't have that!

I think I'll end this post now by saying this -

If you feel frustrated alot - overwhelmed - I truly believe it's your spirit trying to tell you something isn't right.

Just like your stomach or your head hurts when you are physically not well, your spirit manifests pain by frustration, guilt, shame, anger and depression.

Sometimes - it's so easy to be blind to behaviors, attitudes and thought processes that do not serve us - but hinder us, and even destroy us.

Life is way to short for that foolishness.

You can change.

It's hard - but it's worth it.