Saturday, January 22, 2011

If Benjamin Franklin Were' The Bachelor'

It's time to let you in on a little secret.

I have a mad crush on Benjamin Franklin.

It started when I was in my early 20's.

I became infatuated with his quest for knowledge, his industrious spirit, and his frugal ways.

I love his quotes.

I read any book I can find about him.

BFF?  Ben Franklin Forever.

WWBD?  What Would Ben Do?

I have his picture on my bulletin board at home next to his

Thirteen Virtues

Temperance - Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.

Silence - Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself, avoid trifling conversation (I'm so glad he didn't say 'avoid drivel')

Order - Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have it's time.

Resolution - Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.

Frugality - Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; waste nothing.

Industry - Lose no time, be always employed in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.

Sincerity - Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and if you speak, speak accordingly.

Justice - Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

Moderation - Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Cleanliness - Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes, or habitation.

Tranquility - Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

Chastity - Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's reputation.

Humility - Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Benny makes me swoon.

If Benjamin Franklin were The Bachelor I'm quite sure I'd get the first impression rose.
I wouldn't be on a group date, I'd be getting the individual ones.
I'd be an early favorite.
I imagine that our dates would involve experiments and inventions instead of hot tubs and wineries.
I would so hold that kite string.

He'd be attracted to my modest dress that I'd made out of flour sacks to accentuate my ample figure.
He'd think me a 'stout and sturdy' woman capable of multiple births.
I mean - my hips just scream that.
My propensity to industry and frugality would win his heart right over.

Oh, I'd get that Final Rose.
And we'd last - not like Jake and Vienna, or 99% of the matches made on The Bachelor.

He'd be a doting husband, and I a doting wife.
I'd bring his supper in to his office whilst he worked late in the night inventing bifocals and stoves.

Oh well - a girl can dream.


  1. Oh, this plum made my day. It was "the most dramatic blog post EVER".

    But now it seems unfair that T got the name "Benny". Who knew we'd have two Bens????

  2. There are no words.....this is hysterical!
    And where did you find the first picture of Ben looking all Don Draper? The last picture, not so much.

  3. ....and I thought I was the only one....


  4. What a hoot! A crush on old Ben.

    How does Glenco feel about your Ben Franklin infatuation.

    Does he know?

  5. Well, thanks for the insight. I never knew all that stuff about Benny. What does Glenco think about your mad crush????

  6. Love you Jayme. Got my laugh for the WEEKEND!. so appreciating your vision of how much Benny would relish all of your wonderful points that would complete him. And I do believe you have hit it head on girl.
    There would have been no better match for him, I'm sure. And I can see you holding that kite string out in the storm, yelling, BENNY when is whatever is supposed to happen gonna happen? and then see you standing there with every hair standing on end, the crisped string and a blackened face with the lenses blown smack out of your glasses, saying, You did good, honey, you da man...I'll make us some sandwiches...bwahahahaha. yep ! But girl you were matched to the perfect man in this century, your Glenco. And what a man. yes? Hugs to you. LOVED your post. xo

  7. Never thought of Ben Franklin this way but it was a good read~ you are really funny and got me to thinking..
    I think of the fore fathers I would pick it would be Thomas Jefferson..
    Have a tiggeriffic day~! ta ta for now from Iowa.

  8. You've done it again! You made me laugh! Oh, if there were more men like Ben! I like his thinking. You have peeked my interest, and now I want to read more about him. Your flour sack dress and ample hips would be competing with mine!haha! You really do have a fun way of thinking about things.

  9. Jayme, You CRACK. ME. UP!
    "Jayme and Benny, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Benny with the baby carriage!
    XO, Cheryl

  10. FUNNY! A clever and dramatic girl you are. Love it!

  11. I've always liked Ben Franklin too. He has a face that is both wise and jovial, a combination I find both rare and fascinating.

    Years ago, I was expounding all of Ben Franklin's virtues and accomplishments to my husband and he told me that Ben Franklin also invented the air bath. You're gonna love this bit of trivia...

    : )

  12. you are HILARIOUS! poor Glen...

  13. I'm with ya wacko! Love him and his quotes! I'm always one for brains over beauty - courting *or* critters... ;-0

  14. OH Benny! Love his quotes and kite strings..but the final rose? Seriously!

  15. Old Ben would sure love your creativity!! Oh, but of course you know you would be pushing him around in his wheel chair he would be suffering with gout....but oh the conversations you could have!

  16.'d be living in much closer for me to come visit (by horse carriage, of course!)

  17. Ya, Ben was cool, but Thomas Jefferson, aka Tommy is my true love. PLUS, he had a very cool house called Monticello that I have been to. He invited me of course.

  18. I'm related to old Ben, he's my great x4 or so uncle, I lost count?LOL

  19. okay Miss Jayme I FINALLY figured out a way to get you to the east coast. I live only about 35 min. from Phila. (we live in Wilm.De)so just right up the turnpike. They have the man who has been playing Ben Franklin for years on tv last night (he has lost a bit of weight I am thinking he got married last year and she isn't the cook you are--he needs you my dear). So you get here we run to Phila. and we stalk old Benny? Okay? Sound like a plan? lets go, nancy settel

  20. You do know that Benny was quite the P-I-M-P of his day... especially in France... he had a rep with the laydeees. Your settin' your self up for heartbreak sister! :)

  21. Love his 13 virtues, I had no idea. You got dibs so I guess I will have to stay with my crush, Pa Ingalls.

  22. HAHAHAHAHA! Just awesome...only you would find a love connection with Ben Franklin. I love how your mind works.....

  23. What ARE you doing in that library???????

  24. Jayme, I have hee-hawed over this. So funny. I could see old Ben up there with the rose, wandering the room to find you to give it to you (the first impression rose I mean). I wonder if Ben would do the swimming pool--perhaps in a big ole swimming bloomers? So funny!!

  25. Me thinks that being a "pink chicken" has gotten to you?????lol

  26. Does Glenco share any of Ben's traits? That may be what drew you to him!

    Quad Cities, IL

  27. I don't know how 25 other people made comments ahead of me, but I have to say that I absolutely LOVED this. And I so love the picture of Benny on your side bar with the sweet quote about being aware of little expenses. I think he must have somehow known that all these years later that you, one Jayme Goffin, would be starting the pink chicken revolution! ;)

    xxx Dianna

  28. What a NEAT post and very well written! Great job!

    I've been following your blog for a while and thought you might like to check mine out too!

  29. I've got a crush on him too...esp. when there are multiples of him in my billfold!!! Hehe...

    Now snap back into reality...and go home to your husband!

    Love ya galpal!

  30. As always your post brought a smile to my face. You have an imagination and a way with words that most of us could only dream about.

  31. Oh MY! I think we need to get you back on the internet....


  32. LOLOL... um. OK then.. you're a BF kinda girl.

    ME?.. I'de like to go back to the days of Brad Pitt in A River Runs Throught It.

  33. Just read a book on him. He was amazing. jan

  34. O my gosh...I was!! Love the flour sacks..quite the vision. I love BF too...he was AMAZING person.

  35. I can't say I've ever thought of having a crush on Benjamin Franklin or any other historical figure. Thank you for expanding my repertoire of fantasy possibilities. How fun!

  36. Well you managed to do something that eluded by high school teachers for years. You've made me WANT to read about Benjamin Franklin. Not that I haven't read about him before but you've put a whole new light on things. Thanks for the smile.

    Have an awesome week!

  37. You are hysterical! And is Glenco okay being #2 in your life? I guess #1 can't truly be competition, or can he? We honor your crush...and I must ask-how in the world did it start?

  38. Hi. I like your site.Would you like to make a link exchange?
    My site we both benefit from this

  39. oh Jayme, I just have to meet you some time, but I will have to make sure I wear Depends and bring Kleenex!


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