Helen Irene Dorsey Arp
Eleven years ago today, I woke up and began preparing for my mother's funeral.
Eleven years ago today, I was immobilized by grief.
I can still remember how I felt that morning, it's almost like it was just moments ago.
I still remember putting on my dress, and trying to put on makeup through tears.
I remember seeing relatives that I'd not seen in years, and realizing how bittersweet it was to see them under these circumstances.
I remember feeling terribly alone, despite being surrounded by people.
I remember the ride to the cemetery.
I remember the lump in my throat.
I remember the humidity.
I remember the kindness of my cousin Jim.
I remember the kindness of my cousin Jim.
I remember feeling the grass crunching under my feet in the hot Missouri sun.
I remember hearing the locusts.
I remember seeing my mother.
I remember the smell of the Stargazer lilies on the coffin.
I remember seeing her two remaining sisters, that join her in heaven now, weeping over her.
I remember after the funeral, hearing my relatives talking, and the forks hitting the plates as they ate, as I lay in the bedroom wondering how life would go on.
Today - eleven years from that day -
I remember my mother's laugh.
I remember my mother's hands.
I remember how hard my mother worked.
I remember my mother's stubbornness.
I remember my mother's devotion to her family.
I remember my mother ironing our pajamas, and mopping the floor while Conway Twitty played in the background.
I remember my mom watching Hee Haw and the Carol Burnett show and watching her get so tickled.
I remember my mom mothering all the neighborhood kids.
I remember my mom's garden being the prettiest on the block.
I remember my mom cooking dinner every single night.
I remember not to take anything for granted.
I remember to work hard for the things you want.
I remember to be stubborn when it's needed.
I remember to love.
I remember to laugh.
this is a repost from three years ago when it was eight years ago - my mother is still missed on a daily basis, and I do see her every time I look at my hands, my face, and my stubbornness.
I try hard to keep her spirit alive.
Beautuful Remembrance Jayme . . . I think your momma's spirit lives within you . . .ReplyDelete
Beautifully written, Jayme. I feel the same way about my mom. They sounded quite similar although my mom was a career lady and worked for our Govt. She was the most domesticated career woman I knew though. She could turn her hand to anything. I see my mom in my face and I hear her in my laugh. She is still my rock and will always remain so. Feeling her hand on my shoulder is the most comforting touch. I wish you a good day, today, remembering your wonderful mom. You were obviously very loved. Hugs, DebReplyDelete
I see your mother's expression in your face, Jayme. I missed this the first time, and I am VERY thankful that you reposted it for us.ReplyDelete
I think your post is lovely and such a tribute to her. Speaks volumes. The circle of life...you resemble her so much. Its funny how we see those genes surface as we mature through our years isn't it? Hugs...Jaymes. Have peace today and always....ReplyDelete
Absolutely beautiful post.ReplyDelete
Jayme, what a wonderful post. I am glad you have so many good memories of your mom.ReplyDelete
You really do have a gift with wordsReplyDelete
I remember this post those three years ago...remembering with ya Girl. Though my mom has only been gone 10 months, I know I have many years of remembering ahead of me too....ReplyDelete
Jayme; it seems that you pay tribute to your mother in so many ways. When you mentioned her beautiful garden, I immediately thought of yours. My father passed away only 6 months ago. I am trying so hard to take care of my mother now and more often than not I hear his voice, especially when I think it is just too hard and I can't do it. I think that he may be the reason that my mom's tomato plant already has 3 tomatoes and mine, even though I planted them at the same time and in the same manner, is just starting to bloom. They are still around somehow, encouraging us to keep going.ReplyDelete
Oh, Jayme...if you only knew how fitting it was you posted this today. My mom would have been 80 years old today, June 25th. She died 14 years ago this past May, and hardly a day goes by without me thinking of her.ReplyDelete
She was truly my best friend.
Oh, to have my mama back...if even only for a day or two.
Made me cry, it did.
My mom has been gone 25 yrs. WOW, time is precious!!! Beautiful post, Jayme!ReplyDelete
What a lovely post, Jayme!ReplyDelete
Great post, Jayme. It is odd how we are hit with those sweet (or sad) memories at the oddest times...how a scent will set it off-or a cadence of a voice. Blessings- xo DianaReplyDelete
My mother passed away 40 years ago at the young age of only 52. Here I am at 61 and I still miss her. What a sweet post about remembering your mama. I am glad you have her looks, hands and a beautiful garden to remember her by. And your love for Aaron probably matches the love your mom poured out. Thanks God for memories.ReplyDelete
I just went and hugged my mama, thanks for the beautiful reminder!ReplyDelete
Your mom is smiling down on you, cheering you on and shaking her head at your antics. She's proud of who you are and how you honor her life with yours. Well done, Jayme!ReplyDelete
This really touched me, Jaym. It made me think of the precise memories I have of my grandma's funeral ... but mostly of my life with her. Her hands, her eyes, her generosity ... the list goes on. I love that you shared this ... and I love you dearly.ReplyDelete
And I say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!!
Beautiful. Just. Beautiful. I, too, have lost my Mother (5 years ago) and still miss her and feel so alone sometimes. Mama was so lovely.Blessings, Deanna B.ReplyDelete
Tears for all the moms we miss . . . PatysueReplyDelete
Lovely!!! I am trying to absorb everything the bad and good about my parents especially since these past two years have been awful with my mom being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and my father having a massive stoke that he won't recover from 4 months ago. It's funny the things that we remember about our parents that don't seem remarkable or particularly interesting at the moment they happen. I think often about my mom's mother because she was the type of Grandma I hope to be. I think as long as we can hear a person's voice in our heads they aren't truly gone.ReplyDelete
Beautiful post....Love and Hugs....ReplyDelete
Hugs to you, Jayme.ReplyDelete
Your Mom, looking down, must be so darn proud of you! Beautifully written. . . you look just like your Mom. . .ReplyDelete
Oh Jayme this brought me to tears.. .thank you for sharing it. ((HUG))ReplyDelete
What a wonderful post. Your mom sounds like a lovely lady. This puts me to mind of missing MY Mom!ReplyDelete