As the Coop Turns

Just another manic Monday.

Actually, it's not manic at all - it's quite calm about here.

The kind of calm that's palpable - the bees feel it, the birds feel it - and I certainly feel it too.

We are in for a hot, humid, wet week - with air you can wear, as my friend Lynda says.

Things were so peaceful this morning, and it was well enough light outside at 5:15am to get some photos.

I picked some cherries, laid some mulch, pulled some weeds, tended some birds.

Have you ever seen anyone with OCD and ADHD pick cherries?

It's awful.

I have a burning desire to clean each branch, and yet no impulse control so I pop from branch to branch exclaiming 'look how ripe this one is!'.

And then I only got about a gallon picked before I deemed mulching the veggie garden more important.

It's raining now - so some housework may actually get done!

I just thought I'd show you a few photos of the birds and gardens today - I'm in a really good state of mind over the whole thing.

It is what it is - and I'm not concerned about it being picture perfect anymore.

It's my garden.

I didn't plant it for anyone else.

The flowers are just starting to explode....so far there is just a lot of greenery, but it's lush and lovely just the same.  Nothing feeds my soul like the garden.

Except maybe music, or poetry - sometimes yoga - or maybe doing yoga, while reading poetry and listening to music in the garden.

This is the way most of the garden is looking...plain John, very plain.

The veggie garden is a delight.  It feeds my soul and my stomach.  My romaines are to die for.

I fear the broccoli may just bolt instead of head.  I planted it too late and too early.  I should have just put it in later this summer for a fall crop.  It's still pretty.

The meat birds.  Bless their little gluttonous hearts.

I have no attachment to these birds.  I can't allow it.  None of them can be pardoned.  They were born to die.  I'll do my best to treat them with respect, and honor the sacrifice they are making by cooking them well.

The egg birds.  Growing like weeds.

Born to be named, pampered and in general spoiled rotten.

See that poor gal on the far right?  What's up with that?  She's defeathered. I've watched, she's not being picked on, so I really haven't figured out why she, the only one, is nekked.

It's a beautifully mundane, quiet, average Monday.

Hope yours is too.

: -)

This, That, and the BoyChild

I'm long, long, long overdue a BoyChild update.

Mr. Fashion would have a fit if he knew I posted this pic!

But this is my boy - this is the boy I love through and through, this is my heartbeat.

My sweet nephew Aaron.

New readers might want to read this - 

Aaron is doing terrific.  He's 17.5 years old now and adapting to Chicago pretty good.  He wants to come home every weekend though, and that just thrills me.  His mom (they are really getting along well!) picks him up and drops him off here on Saturday evenings after school, and then I have him til she picks him back up on Monday evening to get him home in time for classes Tuesday morning.

The child is obsessed with hair.

This is the boy that never brought a school book home, and caused me to go prematurely gray trying to homeschool his behind.  Thank goodness he can now color it!

This is the boy that wouldn't memorize his multiplication table even when I offered him $100 to do it.

Now?

He rolls out of bed on Sunday morning and hits the books and plays with dummy heads and talks to me non-stop about vertical slices and color formulations.

If he's awake - he's talking about, doing, reading about, or watching hair tutorials.

Here's a terrible picture of my extensions so far.  What a flipping process!  They aren't done yet.  He is now color matching them to my real hair - and then he'll attach them next time he's here.  I'm thinking I might love this.  He had it in a fishtail braid at one point.  Mercy.  I'm scheduling an appointment for breast augmentation as soon as I get my spray tan and gel nails this afternoon.

Aaron continues to break my heart and put it back together again.

He treats me to Starbucks now.

Breaks my heart for some reason - it's hard to let him spend his money on me.

On Mother's Day he bought me a card with his money.  I think that was the first time my sister didn't buy it for him.  : -)  

Here's what he wrote in my card:

My heart was trashed.

Father's Day?  He bought Glenco a gift.

Heart trashed again.

I loved what he wrote in his mom's card, and if you knew all what my sister has gone through with the child...well...he wrote 'Thanks for loving me through all of my bullsh*t'.

What I loved more than anything was his acknowledgement of his bullsh*t.

:-)

So, growing up he is, and I have to ask you - how do you let them?

How do you not remind them to wash their sheets, and eat right, and get plenty of sleep.

How do you remember what you were like at 17, and how grown up you felt?

How?

This is what I know for sure.

I love Aaron.

It's an absolute, unconditional, I don't need anything in return, kind of love.  He's opened my mind and my heart in more ways than I knew were ever possible.

My chest is literally aching now, just typing this.

Law and mercy.

I should stop now...but just a quick this and that.

My poison ivy is much better!  Three more days of steriods.

I just look completely scabby.

Now - I have a bladder infection.  The antibiotics I'm on gave me diarrhea.   

My hormones are keeping me up half the night.

I'm swollen from the steroids.

My crotch is on fire (I'm sorry - it's just the truth)

I'm urinating blood. 

Again...sorry TMI.

I have about 14 things half done today.

I keep trying to work, and I just don't feel well.

Ya think?

Sat in the inner sanctum office at the Dr.s for a good half an hour yesterday - and I couldn't take the mess.

Good thing the furniture was bolted down.

The cleanse has started and is officially closed for now.  I'll let you know when I'll reopen it to more people.  I actually have a plan for it (!!) and it would be too hard for new people to keep jumping in during it.

So there's my update.

It's gorgeous here in Indiana and I should be out on the tractor, but it hurts my innards.

I'm trying to allow myself rest time to heal.

Why is that so hard?

Countdown to Changing Your Life!

Ok peeps - I just sent out a big mass email to everyone that left their email address here, or emailed me.

I hope I got them all typed in correctly - so if you didn't get an email, please let me know.

The poison ivy is starting to get better.  I have no oozage at all. 

: -)

I do however have a urinary tract infection.  I haven't had one of these in ages.  I'd forgotten how miserable it is.

I haven't a clue what's going on with me!

So - again - if you didn't get 'the email' and you wanted to get 'the email' please leave a comment WITH YOUR EMAIL - or email me at jayme.goffin@yahoo.com and I'll add you to the list and send you 'the email'.

I've also started a Facebook page for all of this business up in here.  I made a badge, but can't for the life of me figure out how to add it here, so in the mean time, please just search for me on Facebook ok?

I must take my leave of you - Aaron is fixing to give me extensions.  By nightfall I should have nearly waist long blonde hair! 

Words of Wisdom

Stick a Fork in Me

No, really do it.

I think it would feel good, and then I could use the fork to scratch myself.

I am so done.

Done.

DONE!

Have you ever come to the end of your rope?

I am there.

The knot is slipping out too.

I just got back from Express Care and got a weeks worth of steroids for this blasted poison ivy.

As of yesterday - it wasn't 'too' terrible.  I mean, I looked like I've been horsewhipped, but it was manageable.

I do something odd, or at least maybe you'll think it's odd, I look in the mirror every night before bed and just look at my face and tell myself - "well girl - you are one day closer to meeting your Maker" - and then I look at my face, and realize that this is as young as I'll ever be.  

Last night, I noticed that the poison ivy patches around my eyes looked worse.  I could see more coming up around my ear and neck.

I slipped into the coolness of the percale sheets donned only in my birthday suit, and the coolness eased my itch.

I thought I felt something moving on my buttocks.

I certainly did.

I had a tick stuck to my rump.

Entering level one of doneness.

My 600 sq foot garden apartment in Chicago surrounded by cement is looking good right about now.

Somewhere around 1am while I was still awake, my body decided to have a hot flash.

Have you ever had a hot flash while covered in poison ivy and a tanning bed sunburn, on top of a sunburn from riding the mower with shorts and a tank top?

I'm just going to let you know - it's not for the faint of heart.

I felt like I was working in the steel mills again near the blast furnace.

Entering level two of doneness

Why don't I go out and roll around in the beehives for good measure?

I woke up about 7:15 this morning to the phone ringing.

It was Glenco calling to check on me.

I was so confused I couldn't find the phone - it was right there on the charger, but I couldn't find it.  I was walking around the living room hunkered down trying to track the ringing - oh, and I was naked, and sunburnt, and covered in poison ivy.

After I found the phone, talked to Glenco for a minute, I woke up.  My face felt really odd, my eyes, they felt burning, itching - it hurt to blink, but felt good to blink at the same time.

My face was on fire.

I looked in the mirror.  

Lord have mercy on my soul.

My face is covered.

I'm hideous, look away.

I just wanted to cry. 

I just wanted to go back to bed.

I just wanted a lot of things that involved wheat and sugar.

That's when I realized I would go on to the Express care.

I'm so doggoned tired.

My neighbor and dear friend, whom I clean for on Fridays told me to take the day off and rest, and she said such other nice stuff, it made me cry right there in the doctor's office as I sat on the paper lined bench.  Luckily, you couldn't detect they were tears since my eyes are so swollen and red from the poison ivy.

I worried about losing the money that I would make today, and on top of it all have to pay the Dr. and prescriptions.

Enter level three of doneness.

This is when lights start flashing and warning sirens are going off.

I start scolding myself for being the biggest idiot in Lake County Indiana.

A Master Gardener, covered in poison ivy.  I know better.  I sure never do better.  

As I drove home, I started realizing that I really don't think I can keep up the pace I'm on.  I'm tired.  Life, my hormones, my body, my mind - everything is changing.  I keep fighting the change, but it's winning.  I need to slow down a little ( a lot ).  Why I 'go big or go home' I don't know.  Why I can't be happy with one or two hives, I don't know.  Why I can't just have a handful of chickens?  I don't know.  Who in the sam hill made me plant a 2000 sq foot vegetable garden!?

I do know that I'm spending the day curled up with a back scratcher, a handful of Zyrtec and steriods and my cats.  I pity the fool that comes between me and that scratch stick.

M'Car M'Car

It's 4:22 am and I'm up - been up for an hour thanks to menopause and poison ivy.  This is the worst I've had it - it's next to my eyes, my mouth, my forearms and ankles are covered.

I have no pity on myself, nor should you -  I knew full well what I was getting into.

Apparently stubbornness is not preventative medicine when it comes to poison ivy.

In a vain attempt to get some relief from the oozing blisters, I went to a tanning bed yesterday - I have no idea where I got that cockamamie idea - but now I have bulb burned buttocks to boot.

Onward....

It's funny how some things from movies just stick with you.

M'car - m'car from 'It's a Wonderful Life' does that to me.

George Bailey, after meeting Clarence and 'never being born', asks the old guy in Pottersfield where his car is that smashed into the tree - 

"You know...m'car, m'car".

I thought I'd show you my new wheels.  The Jaymemobile as my cousin Jim calls it.
Glenco just smiles at me and shakes his head.

Without further adieu - here are my new wheels.

It's the first car I've ever owned from this decade.

I don't think this vehicle would be good for any surveillance type of work.

: -)

Truer words have never been spoken.

Making things comfy for back seat riders.

A little reading material for riders.

Hippie stickers galore.

Fun keychains sent to me by blog readers Lisa and Kimberly...thanks guys!

Fun pins...I think I have 12 or 13 of these all over the roof liner.

And of course, chicken feathers instead of flowers!

Details

It's still technically today!

: -)

I try so hard to keep my word, and I said I would blog the cleanse details today, and I am making it just under the wire here.

Last night, I slept in the camper...there was the most delicious cool breeze, and I was snuggled in the quilts and slept like the dead. 

After breakfast, I went to yoga class - came home and decided that today was the day to do a rejuvenation pruning to the weigelas on the west side of the house.

One of the biggest things I struggle with is realizing how long things take to accomplish.

I truly thought I'd have this job done in an hour - two tops.

It kind of took me all day!  

Sheesh!

I don't have a before picture, but here is after.

It's sort of flipping me out to see all the bushes nubbed down.  It's so...bare.

There were five very old weigelas, and they were really woody and not doing well, so I hacked them down to this:

I finally got all that danged poison ivy out from behind these bushes, and my wrists are already starting to blister.  I hope this is the last time I get the dreaded poison ivy.

I planted this area full of these pumpkins for now, until I see if the bushes will recover and start growing again, and I decide for sure what I want to plant in front of them.

I had a HUGE bonfire tonight, and finally as it was just getting dark - I was done for the day.

I spent a little couch time with Glenco and watched the season finale of Game of Thrones.

And now, I'm here to tell you about the cleanse...the details....

OK.

If you look to the right and side of the blog here ------> 

you'll see some links I posted for my favorite vitamins (recommended but not essential for the cleanse) and two of my favorite rice protein powders and flax oils (essential for the cleanse).

Starting Tuesday, June 17th - this is the daily plan you will follow for your food:

Your UltraSimple Meal Plan
You will nourish your body and keep your metabolism humming over the course of the seven-day program. You should not feel physically hungry, and by taking the recommended UltraBaths, you will both assist your body in expelling toxins and help keep your stress (which causes both inflammation and cravings) at a low level.

Breakfast (7 a.m.–9 a.m.)

• Lemon juice (from 1/2 lemon) and hot water
• 1 cup of decaf or caffeinated green tea steeped in hot water for five minutes. (You may also have the green tea later in the day. Limit your intake to 2 cups a day.)
• UltraShake (recipe below)

If no bowel movement by 10 a.m., take two herbal laxative tablets (you can take two senna or cascara tablets to ensure you have a bowel movement).

Morning Snack (10 a.m.–11 a.m.)

• 1 cup UltraBroth (recipe below)
• Another UltraShake (if you are hungry)

Lunch (12 p.m.–1 p.m.)

• 2 cups or more of steamed or lightly sautéed veggies (you should eat enough to feel gently satisfied)
• 1/2 cup cooked brown rice
• 1/2 cup fruit or berries for dessert (either here or at dinner, not both, and only one or two times during the seven-day program)
• UltraShake (optional)

Afternoon Snack (2 p.m.–3 p.m.)

• 1 cup UltraBroth
• UltraShake (if you are hungry)

Dinner (5 p.m.–7 p.m.)

• 4 to 6 ounces of fish or chicken breasts cooked with olive oil and lemon juice or 4 to 6 ounces of tofu or legumes (if using canned, rinse them well)
• 2 cups or more of steamed or lightly sautéed veggies (eat enough to feel gently satisfied)
• 1/2 cup cooked brown rice
• 1 cup UltraBroth

The UltraBroth Recipe
Our modern diet is an acid-producing diet — including sugar, excess animal protein and processed foods — that creates a toxic cellular environment that can contribute to many diseases. This broth, filled with many healing nutrients, is a simple way to detoxify and alkalinize your body. (For those who can’t make the broth, you can substitute low-sodium, organic vegetable broth from Pacific Foods or Imagine Foods, but making your own broth from fresh, organic ingredients is preferable.)

For every 3 quarts of water, add:

• 1 large chopped onion
• 2 sliced carrots
• 1 cup of daikon or white radish root and tops, cut into large cubes (ideal, but optional) (I didn't use this)
• 1 cup of winter squash, cut into large cubes
• 1 cup of root vegetables, cut into large cubes: turnips, parsnips and rutabagas for sweetness
• 2 cups of chopped greens: kale, parsley, beet greens, collard greens, chard, dandelion, cilantro or other greens  (I used all kale)
• 2 celery stalks, cut into large cubes
• 1/2 cup of seaweed: nori, dulse, wakame, kelp or kombu  (I didn't use this)
• 1/2 cup of cabbage, cut into large cubes
• 4 1/2-inch knob of ginger, sliced
• 2 cloves of whole garlic
• Sea salt to taste
• If available, you can add 1 cup of fresh or dried shiitake or maitake mushrooms. (I didn't use this)

Add all the ingredients at once and place on a low boil for approximately one hour. Simply continue to simmer to taste.

Cool, strain out the cooked vegetables and discard them. Store resulting broth in a large, tightly sealed glass container in the fridge.

Before consuming, heat gently. Drink at least 3 to 4 cups a day.

Makes approximately 8 cups or 2 quarts.

The UltraShake Recipe
This shake provides essential protein for detoxification, omega-3 fatty acids from flax oil, fiber for healthy digestion, increased elimination from flaxseeds, and antioxidants and phytonutrients from the berries and fruit. This shake is the easiest to make and digest; for two more versions, see my book The UltraSimple Diet. Also, for alternative snack options, enjoy raw veggies and hummus (don’t forget to read the label if it’s store-bought), seeds and nuts, or steamed vegetables or chickpeas spiced up with a little extra-virgin olive oil, lemon juice and sea salt.

Blend together:

• 2 scoops of rice protein powder (the average is 2 scoops, but you should follow the directions for the serving sizes of the product you pick)
• 1 tablespoon organic combination flax and borage oil
• 2 tablespoons ground flaxseeds
• Ice (made from filtered water), if desired
• 6 to 8 ounces of filtered water to desired consistency
• 1/2 cup of frozen or fresh noncitrus organic fruit, such as cherries, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, peaches, pears or bananas

Optional: Add 1 tablespoon of nut butter (almond, macadamia, pecan) or ¼ cup nuts, such as almonds, walnuts, pecans or any combination of these, soaked overnight.

You will also need to pick up some baking soda, lavender essential oil, and epsom salts.  I would double check and make sure your epsom salts don't come from China. I'm not sure why, I just wouldn't want to use salts from China.

Under no circumstance do I want you woohooing it up for the next week, thinking you'll have one more week to eat what you want before the cleanse!

NO last suppers people!!!

From now until the 17th - try to cut back on caffeine so you won't have such a bad headache during the cleanse, and really try to eat as naturally as possible, ok?

If you have ANY questions, please leave them in the comments, or email me.

You will receive an email from me in the next day or two (it's supposed to rain tomorrow so I'm really hoping to get it done then!) In that email I will give you the instructions on how to join the Yahoo group so that we can share successes and struggles and support each other, ok?

If you do not receive an email by Sunday - please email me again, I'm hoping I haven't accidentally deleted any emails, or overlooked anyone.

jayme.goffin@yahoo.com

The week of the physical cleanse, we will also start will small baby steps on decluttering our mind and homes.

It's Not Too Late

It's not too late!

I've gotten all of your comments and emails - thank you - 

WOWZA what a response.

I think we've hit on a nerve here.

I'm spending some time getting everything ready for you.  I'm creating some links to some products that you may want to get for your cleanse - and just general health.

I'm toying with the idea simultaneously working on mind/body/home.

I really think that will be best.

What do you think?

I know y'all are super excited to get started....and I am too - but let's realize this - it's not a race, it's a journey - this needs to become a lifestyle, not just another 'thing' that you are doing...so - bear with me while I tweak it and create something that will be a wonderful experience.

I did start a Yahoo group for us, and I'll be posting the link for that as well, so you can join if you'd like - I thought we could have a lot of the discussion there - that way everyone can see it - respond and comment, and the blog isn't all about the 'cleanse'.  : -)

In the meantime - I want you to get the notion of 'being perfect' out of your mind.

I want you to get the notion of 'I have to do it all or nothing' out of your mind.

You will do your best.

When you know better, you will do better.

It will be wonderful, because you are wonderful, and you are worth taking care of yourself with the utmost care.

We will NOT be starting on a Monday - that's too cliche.  

: -)

I do believe that next Tuesday will be our 'official' kickoff date - as you will need to get some certain foods (nothing unusual ) and do a little preparation, and I want to give you plenty of time to get that ready ok?

Tomorrow - I will line out the cleanse for you, it truly is basically the UltraSimple Diet 7 Day Cleanse by Dr. Mark Hyman.  I'm going to give you some links to the rice protein powder that I use and enjoy - it's really the only odd thing that you'll want to purchase if you can.

Til tomorrow....

Preparing for the Journey

I'm over the moon that so many of you have signed up!  

This is truly going to be a fabulous experience!

I haven't returned any of your emails yet, but will this weekend.  I'm toying with a start date, I know some of you aren't able to start right away - but we will be starting within the next two weeks for sure.  Gotta strike while the iron is hot!

: -)

Please, please - go back and check your comment and make sure you've left me an email address.  I'm missing quite a few.

The cleanse is a very simple one - and it's very similiar to Dr. Mark Hyman's Ultra Simple Diet.

Basically it's one week of eating REAL food - no sugar, caffeine, wheat, dairy, etc.

I'll be explaining it in detail in the coming days.  If you are vegetarian, that's fine.  If you aren't, that's fine too. Please don't stress over this, it sort of defeats the purpose.  

Please go into this with an open mind, and even more important, an open heart.

You don't have to be great to start, but you have to start in order to be great.

We are going to take baby steps, we are going to change, grow and begin to live the life you've always imagined.

Please share this journey with your friends if you'd like!

The more the merrier.

PS:  The bike is staying blue and I'm ordering the tick spray.

PPS:  If you have no idea what this post is about, please see the last post.

xoxo

Join Me?

First...

My dream last night.  

I dreamt that I was in my mom's house and she was making breakfast for me and a large group of old church friends.  She was making scrambled eggs with broccoli and cream cheese in them.  What?  I might have to try that!  : -)

She also made a ton of bacon and plated it up so that it looked like flower petals.

I insisted on doing the dishes.

My mom has been gone for 11 years this month, and I gotta tell you, I so love dreaming about her.  It keeps her alive in my memory.

The strawberries are coming in!

I'm really enjoying the yard this year, and getting to things that I've been putting off for ages.  

I've been dividing things and moving them around, cleaning out the shed, yadda yadda.

The tick situation.

I thought it was getting a little better, as I had two days where I saw nary a tick.

Yesterday?

I had one on my buttocks.  My flesh.

There was one behind my ear.

On my arm.

Two on my right leg.

And...hold on to your coffee cups....one very nearly on my hooha.

I found a yard spray that is supposed to be safe for honeybees, but I just can't bring myself to use it.

The pole beans are working their way up the twigs.

The roses bloomed yesterday.

This having to be very frugal in the yard this year has been a very good thing for me.

Baby lettuces growing in an old galvanized tub.  I'm relying heavily on seeds this year and loving it.  I'm loving seeing them sprout and grow.

Found this little beauty in the trash - I'm still working on a 'scenario' for it...I was thinking of putting a little 'For Sale' sign in front of it.

Red nasturtiums planted in a basket.  I have a can of pink spray paint, and I'm thinking that bike might be pink soon...do you think it would look good, or should I leave it be?

This however is my pride and joy at the moment.  I had an old wheelbarrow frame that I didn't want to throw away, it was just cool and old, and I knew one day I'd find something to do with it.

Behold!  A garden shelf!  Complete with a broken old rake.

I heart junk.

I had to show you how big all the birds are getting - Stubs is getting along fine with all of them, and I think she enjoys the company although she'd never actually admit it.

The meat birds are so different.  These are the Freedom Rangers.  No matter how often I feed them, they act like they are on death's door from starvation and make me feel that I've neglected them.

They eat, sleep, sit and do something that rhymes with sit - and that's about it.

The chicks I got from McMurray Hatchery continue to delight me.

They are adorable!

I'm so glad I got past my fears of ordering live poultry - I'm really enjoying having all of these different breeds that I wasn't able to get at my local feed store.

OK...this change that I'm feeling.

Numero Uno - I know the restless feeling I have so often is ADHD. I have to be careful and acknowledge that and just say 'Hey ADHD - bite me' and try to get myself calmed down, focus on a project - and it passes.

This is what I've been feeling.  Our lives are too cluttered.  Our bodies are too cluttered.  Our homes are too cluttered.  Our minds are too cluttered.

Clutter - stuff - things - worries - 

Are we really living, or merely surviving?

In being very frugal and creative in the garden this year, it has dawned on me that I just don't fully appreciate the things that I have.  I still have things in my home that I don't really care about, or wouldn't miss if I didn't have them.  I don't fully honor what I have.

I still have about 20lbs on my body that needs to be gone.  For health's sake - not for appearance.  I'm over that.

My mind is still too cluttered with fears that will never come to pass, to do lists that don't really need to doing.

What I propose is that I - and anyone that would like to join me, embark on a journey - a journey that would begin with a 7 day physical cleanse (NOT a fast) - and after that physical cleanse, we would start a home cleanse - and a mind cleanse.

If you are interested in this - PLEASE comment or email me.  I think it would rock to have a group of us doing this together for support.  If you do comment, PLEASE put your email address in your comment so I can get back to you if need be, ok?