I should be so happy right now -
Aaron just pulled out of the driveway, heading to work - his very first day of his very first 'real job'.
And you know nothing good can come of a job.
You get a job, you get a car - next thing you know you are in a relationship and well - you are all flipping grown up.
He's got a job at the Vanis Salon here - and for those of you not familiar with this area -
it's one of the top salons, and might even be the top.
Go big or go home.
I should be happy that he's 18 years old and he's working, and he's happy, and beautiful.
He's not only working, but he's doing what he's always wanted to do.
I am happy.
I mean, I am - really - sorta kinda.
|How Aaron still seems in my mind.|
I made breakfast for him today and we sat at the island eating together.
I refrained from giving him advice.
I filled his to go mug with Zen tea.
I didn't want to embarrass him with a home packed lunch with love notes and such - so I gave him my debit card and told him that lunch was on me today.
I sit here now in my worn out Life is Good hoodie, clutching my heavily sugared Tazo Awake tea, feeling.
A little lost.
Luckily, I've more shenanigans planned than I can shake a stick at, and only plan on giving myself an hour this morning to drink tea in my pjs, stare out the window at the snow and ruminate over my heartache of Aaron growing up without my permission.
|Perhaps we'll have days like this again.|
It's the natural order of life - for it to go on - for the young to grow, and flourish, and struggle, and thrive.
For the old to get older - and grow, and flourish, and struggle and thrive.
For the young to get old, for the old to pass.
But that doesn't mean I have to like it!
And so here I sit again, with a lukewarm cup of tea, a worn hoodie and a heart and mind full of memories.
A heart full. Pride, heartache, sadness, anticipation, and joy.
Legos and laughter.
Tears over scraped knees.
I want a do over.