Friday, August 20, 2010

On Letting Go

A funny thing happened today as I decided to clean out the basement.
No, I didn't fall down the stairs.
Another hot day here in Indiana has me sequestered in the house.

I decided I'd get down in the basement and try to make some sense of it all.
I'm wanting to paint the walls and make it a little less dark and dank.

I became a tad overwhelmed at the project.
Piles.
Stuff.

Things I felt so desperate to have at one time, and to hold on to.
Great treasures to me in the past, now in a box in the basement.

I organized it by theme.
When you love junkin' as much as I do, you tend to accumulate - well - junk.

"I might need this one day"
"Oh, I plan on doing _____ with that one day"
One day.
One year.
A lifetime.
That one day never comes.

I've decided to get rid of the whole lot of it.
Not a whole lot of it.
The whole lot of it.

I was going to Ebay it - I still might a little of it.
Vintage camper parts that I took off The Squirrel.
An industrial sewing machine.
Vintage cuteness that I haven't used in years.
I've come to the point in my life where I realize if I haven't even seen it in a year, let alone used it - chances are I don't really need it.

In the past when I would think of letting go - I would get an image in my head of someone letting go because they didn't have the strength any longer to hold on.

I now believe that letting go requires more strength.

It's what I'm doing in the realm of food as well.
Glenco tells me I'm eating like a bird.
I sure hope not - I read somewhere they eat three times their weight in food a day!

Aaron is constantly asking me now -
"Are you hungry, or are you eating that cause you want it?"
I enjoy the check.

I snapped this picture of my meal the other night. Now, usually I would eat two meatballs, a couple of potatoes, a pile of green beans, the whole ear of corn, and a much, much larger hunk of blueberry bar.

(This is also a great time I could use 'aye law, I can't have anything' - see the chicken eating the watermelon? Glenco was pecking at the melon with my chicken figure)

I have to admit - I felt a little scared when I saw how little food I had, and how small my plate was. I didn't even finish it! I ate slowly, enjoyed each bite, and felt quite satisfied. I saved my watermelon and blueberry bar for the next time I felt hunger. Seems so simple doesn't it?

It's not.

It's simple for a day or two. Then you just want to chew. You just want to grab a handful of something. You want to calm your nerves. You want to eat cause everyone else is eating. You want to eat cause it tastes good.

Something happened today.
I let go.
I let go of food.
It's ok to feel a little hungry.
Food is mighty tasty then.
There's plenty of it here - I don't need to overeat out of fear.

Something happened today.
I let go of stuff.
It's ok not to have so much stuff.
It's ok to have only the things you really use and enjoy.
There's plenty of stuff - I don't need to hoard out of fear.

Something happened today.
I let go of control.
It's ok not to be in control.
It's ok to let someone else live their life without your consent.
I don't need to control anyone or thing - just me.

It's ok.
I feel good.
I feel right.
I feel free.


45 comments:

  1. You're doing so great Jayme!! Keep it up!

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  2. What a touching and profound post. I have found there is freedom in letting go, too. As hard as it is-most things are just that-things. Took me a long time to come to that realization. Glad you are working a good program and that it is working for you-Hugs, Diana

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  3. Good for you!!! Letting go can be so hard sometimes, but once you do, this enormous weight will be lifted from you. Breathe deep and keep going!

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  4. You are so cute!!!

    First...EMERGENCY...I can't get your comment to publish to my blog and it's so special to recieve a comment from you that it's killing me not to have it!!!!
    Can I please have another one???? Pretty please????

    On to the other stuff...I hear you with all the "stuff". I think that I'm paralyzed by stuff sometimes. I can't work on something unless all my things are organized and then it's hard to chose what to do because there are so many options. I hold onto things too tightly and do nothing with them. So I congratulate you for parting with your "stuff", but could I go through it before you get rid of it all???!!!???

    You mentioned spare trailer parts...could you please tell me about your trailer, how, what, where, how much work you did, what you use it for, if you're a "sister"...etc...

    Love the bird comment!! The chocolate macadamia nut nasties called out to me at Costco today and I answered. So bad...

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  5. Every time I try to let go of stuff..some certain peeps bring me more stuff <3 Not complaining..just sharing.
    My craft room is very untidy because of this. I'm trying to limit it to just that space.
    You are doing wonderful! Don't beat yourself up..you are Beautiful!
    (~~)
    Julie

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  6. I needed this. I've been having a hard time letting go of some things lately.

    Thank you so much for posting this, it was a blessing to me!

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  7. Thank you thank you thank you...with comma's!!!!!
    I must have hit delete instead of publish...have mercy!!!!

    Love your trailer story!!! I want one so badly (can you hear my whiney voice??) By sister, I meant "sister's on the fly". If you look at my last years farm chicks and this years funky junk you can see some of them. Don't know how to do that linky thing, but they are fun to look at!

    Fall is my fav. time too and I love your colors and fabrics. Amazed at the awning too!

    Wish you were my neighbor!!!!

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  8. I love this post. All week I've been getting rid of things I haven't used in years and things I don't need. It is just so freeing to me, like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I'm also eating less too.

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  9. I love Glenco by the way......using your chicken to peck at your melon.....too funny.
    The whole concept of letting go is a good one.....and one I learned well in many years of Al Anon.
    Way to go.
    Get rid of it. All of it.

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  10. Or you could just set your box out on the side of the rode by all those shoes. See if there are any takers. Maybe your stuff would be more interesting than the shoes.

    Di

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  11. J'adore! J'adore!

    (Yes, I'm introducing yet another language into our repertoire.)

    You slay me, Mini M, in the best sort of way. I'm all different kinds of inspired by this.

    xo

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  12. I love all this letting go - especially the stuff in the basement! I like to do that kind of thing (but you already knew this about me!). Now letting go of control.... that's a whole 'nother story...

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  13. My attic is waist-high (yup)with 'stuff' I haven't looked at in a coon's age. Some of it has been there since we bought this house 17 yrs ago. There are several 'paths' through the stuff - it looks like those awful homes you see on "Hoarders." We decided last year to start working our way through the mess, a little at a time, and I can see now it's probably going to take a couple of years to get rid of it all. But get rid of it we will! I so agree with you that losing it is SO freeing - I feel lighter with each box that leaves the house. And the new rule is: NOTHING goes UP there. Nada. I want to see the floor up there some day!

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  14. Spectacular post today - very thought provoking. You've outdone yourself!

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  15. By George you've got it! I am working on it too. Keep up the good work - you are inspiring me!!

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  16. You are my hero - cause letting go is not something that I do. I struggle with letting go of so many things. I'm hoping I can carry the inspiration you provide into my life - cause I need to let go too.

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  17. I'm bettin that letting go of the stuff will make you feel lighter in many ways. I'll admit I feel a little panicky looking at one meatball. And that is one delicious looking meatball! I'm happy to take your leftover one.

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  18. This has really made me think of how much I need to let go... of things, of food and especially the control part. I never thought of my having to be in control but I see it with the struggle I am having in "letting go" of my kids (who are now 22 and 20)... nobody told me it would be this hard!

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  19. Behind all control is some type of fear, just learned this. I'm not just a member, I'm the president of the control club. Mom runs it all. No more, I'm letting go. God is in control and so I don't have to be. Glad your cleaning out again, remember just one thing....my new kitchen will b pumpkin!!! Anything that will match?? My house has Jayme all over it. Enough drivel, when are we hooking up? Could we do coffee maybe sunday? Let me know, call me. Miss seeing your face, girl. Hugs and kisses!

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  20. Young people listen up - all the stuff you had to have, accumulate ad nauseum, will someday be suffocating. I have so much stuff to get rid of, I don't know where to start. I so wish I had known that there will come a point in which you will not want to acquire but get rid of everything. Believe me, it will be just as exhilirating as shopping.

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  21. all I can say is *wow*...did you write all of that for me? You could have, you know...so very much encouragement to my heart! Thank you.
    Rene

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  22. I'm clearing out a bunch of stuff too. I remember hearing something like... "keep the memories and let the stuff go," I keep that in mind and toss stuff. Let someone else keep it or use it. It has been sitting around here for years. I don't even know what is in the boxes. I found that using a small size plate helped me take smaller portions and I use the pretty dishes.

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  23. Thank you so much for the blog suggestion. I stopped over to pick it up and was doubly blessed by your post. It's inspiring how you take action on what stirring in your heart. I think of you every time I'm eating now, and I'm trying ma best to follow your lead. Again, thank you.

    God Bless Ya Ma Dear,
    Heather

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  24. I let go about 15 years ago...I have never been happier and never looked back.

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  25. this is so beautiful...you spirit sounds so light which i know will then translate to your body. And listen, don't feel bad about sending some vintage cuteness my way...I'll love on it for a little while :)

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  26. Good Morning CoopKeeper...As I read your blog this morning over coffee, your comment,
    "...I didn't even finish it! I ate slowly, enjoyed each bite, and felt quite satisfied..." reminded me of something I read once in a book about food being a lifestyle, and not a diet...the author talked about how the best flavors are those first few bites. After that, the flavors diminish. And yet...we generally just keep eating whatever is left regardless that there is any joy left in the flavor. She feels we need to have more joy in the eating "experience." She says, eat slowly. Savor all of the flavors. Have conversation...good conversation. Eat the veggies and crunchy stuff first. It fills us up more and most of all, after the first few bites...if the flavors aren't exhilirating...quit eating it. This isn't a diet, she says, it's a lifestyle of enjoying one of the greatest thrills of life: food! So your little bit that you mentioned in your blog...well, I think you and she might have found the same philosophy!

    Have a great weekend!
    Marianne
    MarDakota@yahoo

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  27. No matter where you go I love it - this was wonderful. I'm feelin the same way - in the house AND barns... Stuff just collects and needs to be maintained/ organized and drains me (so that those cookies seem to be needed). Have you seen the book "Does This Clutter Make My Butt Look Fat?" I was just thinkin bout it as I passed several yard sales with out stopping (unheard of in my past).
    Yay to you on the portion control too! Maybe Aaron could come visit me w/some reminders?

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  28. Great post, very inspiring.
    Victoria

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  29. As I have mentioned before, you are my new hero. Your words struck a chord with me and I have been moved to let go.

    Blessings!

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  30. Thanks Jayme for the offer on the trailer stuff but shipping is high now...I think I am good to go on my next two trailers....going to start on them soon...

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  31. Great post about letting go. You are doing a great job and sounds like you are staying positive. I am proud of you.

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  32. Aye....letting go. I love it. I have a ton of stuff I want to unload and let go of...just don't have the time or energy to do it now. Want to come down here and help me? :)

    I too am proud of you. You are inspiring many of us to do the same. You always seem to have more humor in it all though. Ha.

    Love ya girl!!

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  33. You know what, I guess the whole food thang is about control, isn't it? I don't mean eating out of control. I mean it's probably about one's underlying issues with control that make you want to eat. Maybe it goes back to caveman days. When it was eat or be eaten. Ya think?
    Brenda

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  34. Letting go of things is pretty easy. Letting go of control, not so easy.

    Love reading all the comments after your posts. It's like a bunch of girlfriends chatting and sharing their best advice!

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  35. Oh gosh Jayme, I swear we were separated at birth. Our love of chickens, food and etc. Lovely post.
    I struggle with overeating all the time.

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  36. Good for you Jayme! Cheering you on from the eastern time zone over here. You go, Miss Thang!

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  37. Shedding emotional baggage (weight) is the first step to a new you - go for it, girl!

    The world will always be full of "stuff", up to you to be choosy about what you let into your life :-)

    ps: your plate is about the size of what I can manage to eat in a meal, no more. miam!

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  38. What a great post Jayme.
    To have the willingness to let go is a precious gift- regardless of what you are letting go of.

    I love the line about it taking more strength.

    Amazing,

    Laura

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  39. Cheering you on, Jayme! You are in a good place, with a good outlook and perspective. I love being on this journey with you!

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  40. This is a great post, Jayme! You have touched me (and apparently 41 others) with the honesty of this! You have put into words something that I've been feeling for a long while, and that I've been working hard on all summer.

    Keep up the great work!

    Tammy

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  41. Jayme after reading your post I drug my husband downstairs to read this. We have been talking about letting go, letting go of 26 rubbermade tubs of Christmas ornaments, sets of antique china that has never been used etc. He has been ready to do it but then when he heard that our auction house charges 35% for sales and we probably aren't going to get what we paid for this "stuff" he started backing down. I made him sit here and read what you wrote and since he thinks you are brilliant anyway he agreed. Now we have to get our lazy butts in the attic and in our storage room and get this stuff to auction. I want it gone and gone NOW. You so inspire me. The food thing that will come a bit later right now getting rid of stuff is the words of the day. Hey maybe if I sell ALL of our china we won't be able to eat!!!! hhhmmmmmm nancy settel

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  42. I need you to come and help me clean out my house. Finally after years, I have all my things together in one house, one garage. So much. I don't need it all. Just because my mother loved that teapot I don't have to keep it, do I? Who am I saving all this stuff for? Twenty quilt tops made by my great aunt .... Who but me cares?

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  43. Jayme,

    I really enjoy your posts. I first read about you in the NWI Times article last year and have been following ever since. Your gardens are beautiful! And, you do a wonderful job with your nephew. I have a niece and hope I can be as good of an aunt as you are! I do have a question....where did you find the corn holders in your recent post? They are awesome!

    Thanks!
    boiler0621

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