What's Stopping You?

Just a simple question today - inquiring minds want to know.

What's stopping you from finding freedom in less?

Do you feel scared?

Overwhelmed?

Do you just flat out dislike the idea of minimalism and love your stuff?

I'm not judging at all!  Surely, you know me by now.

I'll say it - I love stuff.  I love decorating, I love changing things constantly, and 'making home'.  But the problem was - it seemed like it controlled me at times, and not the other way around.

I was constantly manipulating things - moving things, storing things.

You just get to a point where you wonder why am I doing this?

You start asking yourself questions like, could I really be happy without a massive Spring decor display?

I found the answer, for me - was yes.  Yes I could be happy, and in fact happier.

I had to face the fact that I was doing it cause I felt that it was expected of me - don't even know where that came from.  

I think I still have a lot of stuff, and I still think my house is warm and welcoming.  I'm not talking about living a stark life, I'm talking about the fact that I still have a piece of pottery right next to the computer with about 32 pens stuck in it.

Why?

I think fear has a lot to do with it.

Fear of lack.

There is something, somewhere in 'stuff' that gives us a false sense of security.

I'm not sure yet how to put it into words, and I haven't sat long enough to really find the words - I just know this.  Less is better for me.  Everyone else that has been on this journey has also found it to be true.

I'm not talking about getting rid of the family heirlooms, I'm talking about getting rid of 10 of your 15 wooden spoons int he kitchen - things like that.

Drawers and closets stuffed with clothes that you haven't worn in five years.

I'm getting an awful reputation for getting rid of things - and this past birthday I was given gifts, and as my friends were handing them to me - they'd say 'I hope you keep this' - or - 'there's a gift receipt if you don't want this'.

Perhaps I should be a little quieter about my recent obsession of 'getting rid of'.

But I just wanted to say this - some of the things that we feel we can't live without, are just truly killing us.

Recently - for the 58,502nd time - I gave up coffee.

Coffee is not evil.

Nor are milk and sugar.

But for me?

It wasn't a good thing at all.

I react badly to caffeine and after it's ingestion - I tend to think that I can conquer the world, not a bad thing - but when you get so worked up that you can't breathe well?  Not a good thing.

Milk - I'm allergic to milk proteins as well as lactose intolerant.

Sugar makes me completely ADHD.

And yet - I couldn't give it up - I wouldn't.  I clutched that coffee cup tightly - I was high strung, distracted and gassy.  

But for that 10 minutes every morning - I was happy.  I had my drug, I had my fix - and literally it was no different than shooting up.

I'm coffee, milk and sugar free.

I'm 99.2% clutter free.

I like life better this way.

So...what's stopping you?

Do you think you need to change anything about the way you live?

And Now For Something Completely Different

A little video for your chicken loving enjoyment.

Imagine - me - talking about chickens.

:-)

It's been a while!

I just absolutely cannot imagine living my life without something to love and nurture. 

 Something feathered or furred.  

As I sit here now, both my cats are flanking the laptop. 

 I'll step outside and be greeted by more cats and chickens. 

 Don't even get me started about goats.  I still have the deepest hankering for them.  I have outfits picked out and everything.  Alas, I do believe I've given up the dream of a milk cow, even though I still have a romantic attachment to the idea of it. 

Interestingly enough - horses have never entered my 'gotta have it' radar.  

I desperately want a baby Squirrel to bottle feed and wrap in swaddling clothes. 

 I'd love a pet crow. 

 But a horse?  Perhaps I've always realized a horse was more of a commitment than I would ever be able to make, financially and otherwise.

And the fact that they just plain scare the beejeebies out me doesn't help either I suppose.

They are beautiful, and I have the utmost admiration for them - but they'd be awfully hard to cuddle with, and I can't imagine dressing one like you could a baby goat.  It would just be awkward, and embarrassing to the horses.  Goats on the other hand, are just silly enough to pull off a good hat.

I know I'll have a dog again one day too, but just not yet.  

If I didn't have Glenco, or Aaron, or animals - where would I go with all of this love in my heart? 

The more I give, the more I find.

That alone boggles my mind.

Thank you for all of your kind, sister friend comments on my last post.  I feel the love and support!  Aaron's loving his job - and if I'm honest - I'd have to say, I'm enjoying a little alone time in my days again.

Thank you!

It's all good - really good.

Oops!  Almost forgot...here's that video.

Enjoy!

This Should Make Me Happy

I should be so happy right now - 

Aaron just pulled out of the driveway, heading to work - his very first day of his very first 'real job'.  

And you know nothing good can come of a job.

You get a job, you get a car - next thing you know you are in a relationship and well - you are all flipping grown up.

He's got a job at the Vanis Salon here - and for those of you not familiar with this area -

 it's one of the top salons, and might even be the top.

Go big or go home.

I should be happy that he's 18 years old and he's working, and he's happy, and beautiful.

He's not only working, but he's doing what he's always wanted to do.

I am happy.

I mean, I am - really - sorta kinda.

How Aaron still seems in my mind.

I made breakfast for him today and we sat at the island eating together.

I refrained from giving him advice.

I filled his to go mug with Zen tea.

I didn't want to embarrass him with a home packed lunch with love notes and such - so I gave him my debit card and told him that lunch was on me today.

I sit here now in my worn out Life is Good hoodie, clutching my heavily sugared Tazo Awake tea, feeling.

Feeling.

Feeling, what?

A little lost.

Left behind.

Again.

Luckily, I've more shenanigans planned than I can shake a stick at, and only plan on giving myself an hour this morning to drink tea in my pjs, stare out the window at the snow and ruminate over my heartache of Aaron growing up without my permission.

Perhaps we'll have days like this again.

It's the natural order of life - for it to go on - for the young to grow, and flourish, and struggle, and thrive.

For the old to get older - and grow, and flourish, and struggle and thrive.

For the young to get old, for the old to pass.

But that doesn't mean I have to like it!

And so here I sit again, with a lukewarm cup of tea, a worn hoodie and a heart and mind full of memories. 

A heart full.  Pride, heartache, sadness, anticipation, and joy.

Memories of...

Legos and laughter.

School work.

Tears over scraped knees.

Missing teeth.

Arthur.

Sponge Bob.

Shenanigans.

I want a do over.

Bewildered

Sell your cleverness, buy bewilderment.

-Rumi

OK

I'll admit it - the snow and the cold is a bit much.

But.

This is what I know.

Can I change it?

Nope.

So I shan't complain.

Not one bit.

I won't complain when my face feels like it's going to fall off when I pump gas.

I won't complain when I wade in 2-3' snow drifts that Mother Nature sees fit to  rearrange 

every day with the wind.

The chickens must eat.

Now, that right there is passive aggressive complaining.

: -)

Of course I don't like traveling in this weather, or the inherent danger that those I love are in 

when they travel.

It can at times, be completely inconvenient and honestly, deadly.

And of course, I'd prefer a warm summer day with vine ripe tomatoes, and fresh zinnias on the table.

But...

I really do like this too.

You know what my main thought is throughout all of this?

WOW!

Epic!

Amazing!

Beautiful!

Awe inspiring!

I mean - really?  Some areas around me have had 90 to 100 inches this winter.

That's just epic.

It's a winter we'll all remember fo' sho.

I for one am impressed, amazed and bewildered at the power of nature and the resiliency of the human spirit.

Spring is coming, just as it has every year-but until then - why not just look out your window and be bewildered?

*disclaimer*

The lack of warm, humid air and dirty fingernails may or may not have taken it's toll on the author's neurological state, causing a mental euphoric state over winter.  If said author of this blog keeps yammering away about how lovely winter is, an intervention may be necessary.  Please approach author carefully - preferably carrying beach bags and/or packets of flower seeds.  A sudden jolt of reality that there is indeed a Polar Vortex could have negative consequences.

It's Possible

Former 300lb Jayme - finishes Half Marathon.

This is just a friendly Monday morning reminder that all things are possible.

Is your heart broken?

Healing is possible.

Are you 300lbs?

Health is possible.

Are you broke, busted and disgusted?

Prosperity is possible.

Are you experiencing the darkness of depression?

Happiness is possible.

How do I know this?

It's all happened to me - 

and I've survived - 

and despite what you may think - 

there's really nothing super special about me.

I'm just stubborn as a mule.

You can be too.

Get up.

Get after it.

PS - fresh batch of serum going on Etsy today - a pox upon me for not having it up sooner, after my last post!