Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Still Life

I know you might be disappointed that this post isn't about the Appalachian Trail.
There have been technical difficulties!  The AT post is going to be really photo heavy - and I haven't had the time to get through them all.  In the past week I've helped a friend move, had dinner with a friend, lunch with two, and I've been deep cleaning the house like a fool.
I've needed to keep myself busy, but not wanted to be busy on the computer.
Everyday I've donned a bra, and shed no tears.
I talk to or text Aaron every day.
The bed upstairs is even stripped, washed and the room cleaned up.
I go up to Chicago next week to have my hair done at the school and pick up the Selfish Punk to come home for Thanksgiving.
Can you believe that it's already Thanksgiving!?

I wanted to share my morning thoughts with you.
Still life.
It's what my house has turned into.
Everything stays where I put it.
I know some of you would LOVE to have this, eh?
Well - be careful what you wish for.
That picture up there is Aaron's chair.  I called it his nest - he came down every morning sleepy headed and sat in it with his laptop, his tea, his blankets and breakfast.
We would sit and laugh and talk.
So far, the mornings are the toughest.
BUT - I'm adjusting really well - and this might just be the last 'poor me' post about Aaron leaving.
I just wanted to encourage those of you that are home with small ones to embrace it.  Embrace the mess of it all - embrace the chaos.  All too soon - it will be gone - so cliche - but so true.
Y'all are blessed with a mess.
There is life in that mess - there is love in that mess.
It's where you are in life right now - so don't wish it away - embrace it affectionately.
Now - I'm not talking about a sink full of dishes that have sat there for four days - that's just nonsense.
Have a fabulous day!


  1. Jayme- You are wise beyond your years. I can remember thinking, even in the midst of the chaos, THIS WILL BE GONE TOO SOON....and it was. My "still life" house is now interrupted with the rush of grandkids and bottles of milk and Jesus Mary and Joseph Fisher Price figurines underfoot but it is SOOOO worth every mess. God bless you, Jayme. It will be good to have The Boy home for Thanksgiving- xo Diana

  2. As a mother of adult children, your words are so true and I hope each young mother reading your post takes time to cherish those precious years they have been given.

  3. It is nice to know I have company! My son, who I home-schooled during his middle school years, is away now for his freshman year at the state university! I'm so excited to go get him for this holiday, where for the first time in a while, I feel truly thankful! I'm going all out this year, complete with china! Before, I always hated making big messes. I realize now, almost too late, that my kids are worth a mess!

  4. I feel for you. I'm your age and have a son that just turned 27, married and is expecting his first baby. When he was 17 we adopted out first daughter and 3 yrs later adopted our second and I still cried big puddles when he moved out at 21. I have never understood parents that talk constantly about their kids moving out when they turn 18 or so. We have them such a short time in their lives. I'm enjoying my 9 and 7 year olds even more because I know that time with them is so short.

  5. I couldn't agree with you more!! My son asked me to drive him to school yesterday because he had just washed and waxed his beloved truck. I said SURE! because it was like he needed me again! we talked on the way, even!

  6. Oh I know I never want to have the house quiet. I hate it when I am home alone. I know I am strange but I love the busy hum of my family. Enjoy your Thanksgiving with your young man.

  7. Well, your words of wisdom have struck a cord with me once again.

    All too often I do wish for the Fast-Forwarding of the little ones; the mess, the chaos, the weariness of it all. I complain too often and too loudly (I know) - at the same time, I see it all sifting through my fingers like sand, and I want to grasp and hang on tightly with all I've got. I don't like it that we can't ever go back to the good ole days...(as I was explaining to my five year old the other night.)

    It's the dichotomy of being a mom. At least for me.

    I want to take your words to heart and value the blessing that comes with the messes all because I've said more "yes's".

    I need to just "grow" with it. And let it do the same for me. ;)

  8. I am so exciterd that MOndayu morning I will be in that chair all sleepy headed and talking. No oatmeal with choc protein powder though. Ha Remember that win!? I am counting the hours until I hug you, my pal. xoxo

    P.S.I am bringing packing boxes. :)

  9. haha Abbie was logged into my computer! I will be Abbie and no CLiff. :( I cannot ait!!

  10. Yes indeed . . . wise beyond your years. What a sweet time it will be to have him near during Thanksgiving!

  11. thanks for the reminder. but anytime you want you feel free to fly here and help a sister out wiht her broodand their messes;)

    enjoy the boy and your thanksgiving<3

  12. THANK YOU! I needed to read that today. We're high enough on the roller coaster that we're hearing the clicks come way too fast. Our son is in high school and daughter in junior high. I see the quiet mornings looming ahead and it is just starting to cause an uneasiness in the pit of my stomach.

  13. We are your polar opposite at our house and could not wait for the kids to leave the nest... have never regretted letting them all run off and start their own lives because they have all done a successful job of it. Fly away little birds.. fly away...

  14. Good to hear from you again- and that you are moving forward with missing Aaron. Took me until Thanksgiving EVERY year when my daughter would go back to school (and this was in the same town for pete's sake)- then she's be home for the holiday, then home for a month for Christmas break- then GONE AGAIN, and I'd wander around aimlessly for a couple of days. So silly, but so much a part of the process!
    Hang in there- it get's easier :)

  15. Blessed by mess, indeed. I needed to hear your wise words so very much. Thank you! And God bless your empty nest. I wish you & Aaron a wonderful homecoming and fabulous Thanksgiving!

  16. I know it's true...even as I complain about a constant string of toys, clothes, books, etc. that I constantly pick up. I look at ladies with their perfectly tidy homes and think, e-gads, why can't I keep up? But I know there's a happy joy in it, and will be a sadness in all the quiet of someday. My mother-in-law says these are the best days of my life...and while I sometimes roll my eyes, she's right. What will I do when all the spontaneous hugs and kisses are gone? -Mary

  17. There's lotsa nonsense in our home ~ dirty dishes just being 1 part... How do they magically reappear as soon as I turn my back? How can we be out of clean spoons n bowls AGAIN?! What IS that tracked all over my floor? But I am so aware that these are the bestest days. I even hung a sign in my barn (where I train clients and their horses but move balls, babydolls n scooters) ~"Please excuse the mess. The children are making memories." Love it all.
    Happy Thanksgiving and congratulations for growing a fine young man!

  18. So wise. Just a few minutes ago, as I was trying to step over the pile of coloring stuff that didn't get put away before bed last night, I was reminded that while THIS particular mess was left by my 8 year old, it was not very long ago that it was my 18 year old's and he is going away too soon.

  19. Hi jayme. Tammy from Cedar Lake. I think you are becoming famous :). One of my friends from back home in New York just posted your thanksgiving nipples on her facebook feed. I saw the pic and said that looks familiar and read the tag...talesfromthecoopkeeper. Pretty cool :D

  20. So true! We forget to enjoy what we have now. Mindfulness, right? Thank you for the reminder.


  21. I use to say when my children were small.."Oh, if they were all just going to school all day". My oldest will turn 31 next month, and the youngest just turned 21. I have to say Jayme, I miss those days. We're not quite empty nesters yet, as my last two are still at home. My third has her degree and in these economic times, well, she has not yet landed her full time job. Our last is still in school, so "empty nest"...What is that again?? Jayme, your just going through more of your own growing pains. Aaron is wonderful and Thanksgiving will be so sweet this year as you gather to enjoy each other and hear of his new found independence. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. Now I'll forgive you on the missing trail pictures, but where's a new Marmie video?? Happy Thanksgiving to You, Glenco and Aaron.

  22. Had a hard time when my son left, too. Stunned me for awhile but then I realized what a special time for my main man and I... I'm embracing it! We're having a ball (and still have one teen at home)!

    Kelly in Cali (hol-la!)

  23. Could I come and sit in the chair in the morning with you?? And could we bring in a chicken or kitten?? It sound like an exotic vacation.

  24. Love to you, Jayme. Have you seen the poem "Oatmeal Kisses?" It will make you cry.
    xo, Cheryl

  25. Off topic: I was going through your blog listings to see if there were some I'd be interested in. I already read Flower Patch Farmgirl, one of the best out there. Anyway, one of them reminds me how much I appreciate it when bloggers stay neutral on politics / elections. Can any blogger do what they want? Absolutely but if yours isn't a political blog it just serves to alienate approximately half your readers.

  26. I just stumbled onto your blog from a random link on pinterest, and wanted to say that I love your writing style. You seem like a fabulous lady, and I might just keep reading. Although, my nest is so not empty that I'm finding limited time for reading blogs (and writing mine).
    I do try to remember that the time goes by faster than it seems, but I admit to sometimes wishing time away. My darling ones are 5 (almost 6), turning 4 this week, 2.5, and turning-5-month twins. It is definitely a busy chaos around here, and I just try to keep up. Thanks for the perspective reminder, and good luck with your empty nest.


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