Thursday, August 30, 2012

My Judgement is Cluttered

I had to giggle at how many of you mentioned you had old Mary Kay Satin Hands.
Loved the stuff, but how many of us are going to go through all those steps?
I would if my hands were not going into water about 4,283 times a day.
Ma Kettle Burlap Hands.
That's what I've got.
55 comments so far on "I'm Stufficating"
I think I hit a hot topic.
I only had about ten minutes to work on my declutter project today, but in that short time - this is what I pulled out of the office/sewing room/pantry/everything room.
If one of my local friends sees something that they gave me here - I apologize.
You know me well enough understand.
I hope.
Four empty glass bottles
Two tablecloths
Large blood pressure cuff
Ear piece for telephone (never used)
Trackball mouse
Cellphone case (it's Aaron's - I hope to God he isn't reading this)
Two bottles of wine (We don't drink anymore)
Three books behind the pillow
Asst. Cookie Cutters
Wooden Painted Box
Recipe Booklets
I should add the total of this up together and see what it comes to, I bet it's a few hundred bucks.
It all went to a good home.
I toyed around with the idea of having a yard sale.
I started freaking out a little over the money that was spent on all of this stuff that I was now basically 'throwing away'. 
I thought - wait - let me pile all of this on the front porch, start pricing it - and....
and then I realized that I would doubtfully have it this fall, and then it would sit there all winter taunting me - and then I would work my fool head off for the sale and make a couple of hundred dollars if I were lucky.
It didn't seem worth it to me.
I want it gone now.
I wanted to talk about the cookie cutters for a sec.
Let me preface by saying that the few times that I've watched 'Hoarders' - I usually gasp in disbelief, and I think 'oh man, I just don't get it - how could ANYONE live like THAT!?'
Today, when I pulled the cookie cutters out - I had SUCH an emotional attachment to them.
I actually had a bit of a pain in my stomach - and it dawned on me - "So this is what THEY feel like when asked to throw away a broken hanger?"
I still don't really understand it.
But I get it now - I can sympathize.
If you are wondering WHY I got rid of the cookie cutters - I'll tell ya.  I just don't bake anymore - well, hardly ever - and if I do - it's gluten free, and semi-healthy.  I don't see myself making rolled sugar cookies for every Holiday anymore - just Christmas.  I just saved a few back.  I still struggle at times with the whole baking/cooking thing being my very identity.
Truth is, I just really don't want to feed my family and the people I love all of that unhealthy food anymore.
One of the questions recently that my therapist asked me -
"You seem to judge yourself so harshly - do you judge others as harshly?"
My first reaction was 'oh goodness no - I'm seriously like the nicest, most tolerant, understanding person in the Universe'.
She just asked me to watch for judgemental thoughts towards others.
So I did.
In the course of 24 hours, I felt that I judged people three separate times, quite harshly.
While Aaron was testing for his GED, I sat and waited in the school hallway.  There was a woman there preparing for a big school Open House the next day - and she was running around like a headless chicken - and she seemed to be in pain, and have a hard time walking.  She was quite overweight.  I offered to help her - and ended up folding some brochures and ironing tablecloths while I waited on Aaron.  See, I am nice.
I had thoughts like this - 'well, girl - if you'd get some of that weight off, you could probably get around much better.'  At the end of the night, she told me she'd had a double knee replacement 8 weeks ago.  All of the sudden, I thought she was getting around famously.
I'm not really sure how this all ties in with the decluttering - but I noticed in many of your comments, you seemed to be upset with yourself, or shaming yourselves for your mess.  Do you feel judged for your mess?
Don't do that.
It's not helping anything.
Be kind to yourself.
Let's pare down and spruce up!


  1. WOW. A lot to ponder. Thank you for posting this blog. Have a great weekend.

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  3. Oh Coop, let me tell you my worst judging story. My daughter took ballet one summer, and all the little ballerinas are in one room and the parents watch through the glass of another. One mom was always at the glass doing the moves for her daughter. Always. I would think 'stage mom' or 'your daughter doesn't even look like she's having fun. just stop!' etc etc.

    Turns out her daughter is deaf. I still feel ashamed of myself!

    On the other hand, I always register to vote in hopes of getting jury duty!

  4. Thanks for your decluttering encouragement! Ive been on a roll with this lately. I have 3 year old twins that are my motivation...the less stuff the less mess they can make!

    And darn but it feels good to clean out the clutter!

  5. Jayme good for you! I need to declutter so bad!!! I am a garage sale junkie...with a trash to treasure mentality and the lack of time to follow through on these if you were to look in my garage, my basement...or (and don't tell coach because I cant get to my treadmill or my weight machine) my exercise would most definitely call Hoarders for an intervention!

  6. You! Judging someone for weight!That has to be the most sickening self righteous thing I have ever heard.

  7. The above comment just broke my heart. I wish that it wasn't anonymous so that I could contact the person. In almost four years of blogging, it's the only comment that has hurt me.

    It is sick - and I know that - and that's why I shared it - I'm human. In the front burner of my brain I am watching my thoughts and attitudes towards others so that I can become better, and more understanding.

    When I 'judged' that overweight lady - I didn't really feel 'superior' - I felt sad for her - yes, I, more than anyone knows the desperation, hopelessness and frustration that a lifelong struggle with weight causes someone.

  8. Jayme have a heart of gold. Anyone who knows you ...knows this. If anyone can say they haven't wrongly judged someone they are lying to their self. Remember the old adage throwing stones at glass houses. I think "anonymous" may have to review that one. I have a rule of thumb I follow...if you are not willing to put your name with your opinion I give it very little regard. Man up "anonymous".

  9. Let us take a second to review what it more sickening and self righteous.....writing a comment to specificially, publically, break a person down for admitting, accepting, and trying to change their faults (all the while doing it anonymously) or making an error in judgement and being bold enough to put your thoughts and feelings in a public forum.

    Blogs are not about being perfect, they are about sharing parts of yourself (the good, the bad, the ugly, the highs and the lows) in an attempt to build relationships. Clearly someone has specifically missed the point of this blog, and I'm not so anonymously calling bullshit. If you know about Jayme's weight struggle (which is obvious from the comment) you also know how candidly she talks about what it has taken to change, and the steps she takes DAILY to improve herself. We could all stand to learn a lesson from a lady that stops to ask herself why and where her "ugliness" comes from and then actually takes the steps to CHANGE it.

    There's my judgement for the day. And a suggestion as well, suck it anonymous. Pregnancy hormones out!

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  11. I had to laugh about the cookie cutters because out of all the stuff laying there I thought, "I would never get rid of my cookie cutters." I've only baked sugar cookies once this past year but I still love my cookie cutters. ;) I appreciate your honestly Jayme. Yes, we can all be judgemental at times. Recognizing it is the first step to changing. A good reminder for me!! Thank you!! :)

  12. You would no more comment rudely about someone than the man in the moon! You are the most self delving person I have ever want to know what makes you the way you wouldn't hurt a fly! (Ok, maybe you would..if it was landing on a foodie treat).

    At first I laughed at that comment, I thought it was facetious..funny, kidding but when I saw it was anonymous I realized it was for real! I just can't believe someone would post that!

    I love you too...I know some of your struggles and I share them, you always make me laugh and love myself.

  13. I saw the cookie cutters in the photo and I'm feeling a "knot" of How can she rid of those? (judgement?) and then I laughed when I read what you wrote about it and the feelings you were having about it. Too funny. I don't think I'VE EVER made rollout cookies with my cutters (EVER!) and I still have them...and I LOVE to bake (still will and still do) but It is PLAIN to see I'm one of those - hoarders. Obviously.

    Fun post. You're right on and this was an awesome, much needed post. I appreciate the way you handled that "expressed" opinion given up there. You know what's good? The rest of us... We've got your back. You are loved and such an inspiration... and the best thing to do is to simply pray for the one who is most likely talking out a deep place of hurt?
    That place called - Misunderstood?
    We might never know where there coming from.

    Blessings on your day!

  14. Jayme, Don't you dare let some annoymous comment get to you. You are one honest, amazing lady.

    First knowing you from your blog and then after meeting you in person, you are honest, sincere, and like Janie said have a heart of gold.

    Nobody is perfect!! At least you are honest to the world and not hiding behind annoymous!!

    I for one would like to thank you for being you. Honest, sincere, you give the true meaning behind friendship and love. (((HUGS)))

  15. Stay strong Miss Jayme- mean people should not have any power to disrupt your day- I appreciated so much that you were honest with your thoughts and with the response. I gather from the two remarks that have been removed that it didn't stop there...You are a warm & caring person and I am honored to call you friend!

  16. Jayme -- you are a soul sister, sisah! I have spent the better part of this summer decluttering. Most was stuff that didn't fit into my little home after the divorce AND the weightloss has also given me inspiration to not carry around other needless weight -- very freeing!

    Most was given away and some I used our local facebook buy/sell/trade site to find new homes for good stuff -- kept that money in a seperate pile for buying me something really cool -- I am thinking a fancy pair of cowboy boots :)


  17. Wow, it takes a lot of guts to point the finger anonymously, grow a pair! At least Jayme admitted her bias PUBLICLY.

    Love you Jayme. You inspire me everyday!

  18. Wow, it takes a lot of guts to point the finger anonymously, grow a pair! At least Jayme admitted her bias PUBLICLY.

    Love you Jayme. You inspire me everyday!

  19. Oh, dear Anonymous... get rid of that hate, will you... it's only going to eat you up alive. And grow some b*lls.. if you're going to be nasty, own up to it.

    Jayme, you inspire me yet again. Now I have a chicken've got four pullets coming to add to my flock. Do you quarantine when you do this? UGH!!!.. and then how do you introduce them?....

  20. The anonymous fool, is just that. . .

    How wonderful to share your raw thoughts with us, a feeling in its natural state; right or wrong, we learn along with you, you hide no fault of your words or comments, you put it out there, sew that others can learn from them at the same time you do. . . and we all love you for it Jayme. . .to discuss an exercise your therapist asked of you, is such a valuable and helpful gift, thanks. . .

    I will surely be examining my judgemental thoughts this week, great exercise thanks!!

    p.s. . . getting rid of all my cookie cutters, you got me so excited for the winter, I wish there was a blog we could all list what we gave away this week. . . sort of like a group cleansing . . .

    My dearest Jayme, please drain that comment, down your brain, through your neck, along your stomach linings let it travel through your intestines and out your arse. . . promise me you'll do that. . .right now. . .


  21. You need to keep writing these posts. It's really good for the rest of us.

  22. you need a vacation. a break at least. so sweet to help the chicken lady out. i know she appreciated it lots. you always make me smile. (:

  23. Iffin' you ever feel the need to declutter that red me! xxoo

  24. Part of being compassionate is that we put ourselves into the whole equation. How did that woman feel trying to get things done with the hardships she was facing? That caused you to reach out to her, find out her circumstance and then help. And we grow...that's a Divine plan, He knew it would work everytime!

  25. I find Anonymous' comment absurd. You ended your thoughts with compassion, not malice. Maybe they are jealous of your successful weight loss? That would have been my first thought, then I would've cried my eyes out just like you...

  26. Jayme,
    You never cease to amaze me with your wit and humor, and your humble, gentle prodding into your own self. It makes us all better to witness the changes you seek to make in your life.
    I thought your post was spot-on and an excellent jumping off point for each of us to see how we may be judging harshly, unfairly, or just plain without knowing the facts.
    Love you chicken mama!

  27. Jayme, Jayme, Jayme,
    I got a phone call for crying out loud. Dame Jayme's been blog trolled! Haven't we had enough chats about these blog trolls that always leave mean comments annonymously? Yup we've talked about it before. And what do I say. Add up all of the positive comments. How many are there? How many negatives? Enuf said....

    Cindy Bee


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