Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Heartbeats, Butt Splinters and Banty Hens

It's a rainy day here in NW Indiana, and that affords me a little time here on the computer, and time to cook and clean.
God gives gardeners rainy days for that very purpose I'm sure.

I apologize in advance for the randomness of this post.
Please bear with me.

Seems I'm fated to post infrequently now, due to the lovely weather we've been having and no chance of frost until October.

I have fabulous days, make lovely meals, see beautiful garden vignettes that I'd like to share, have deep insights on life's most pressing questions - and yet - if not blogged within 24 hours they become as unappetizing to me as last night's leftovers.

I had the loveliest post written (in my head) about this picture.
I loved the contrast of my old hand on the newness of the baby.

Another great post was written in my head about this photo.
I just love the simplicity of it all.
This is just down the road from my house, and in the fall she has honey sitting out for sale on the honor system.

I planned on telling you all about my chicken purse.
I carried it proudly until it was recently featured on an episode of
Hoarders - Buried Alive
Now I just feel old and dysfunctional.

I've been wanting to talk about my weight loss journey for some time. Key word being 'journey' here, and since I've not been moving on that journey - au contrare - I've not said much. Big surprise. I've had volumes of thoughts on the matter, but decided to spare you the drivel. After getting a LARGE splinter in my butt at a greenhouse as I was trying to get through the aisle (please laugh) I decided I'd had enough, yet once again. I've been eating clean for a week and I'm down 6.5#'s. I want to talk about this, but I can't just yet.

I'll tell you this. My heart isn't right. I've been having irregular heart beats for a week - bad ones. It's making me tired and anxious. I so thought I was going to meet my Maker the other night. I got up and started to the ER, but decided against going. I've had this in the past, to the point of being hospitalized, and as danged annoying as it is, it's benign, and perhaps due to hormones. I've had the EKG's, echo's, etc. I just hate FEELING my heart beat like this. I may go to the Dr. yet.

If your a blogger, you'll understand that it's hard to talk about past things.
Blogging is about now.
So I'm going to tell you about the Poultry Auction I went to yesterday.

I had no intention of going, let alone getting anything since just this past Saturday, whilst getting grass seed at the feed store, I happened upon these little Black Sexlink chickens and somehow brought four home!
All they do is sleep it seems.

The Poultry Auction is smelly, loud and a visual hurricane.
I don't do well in crowds, and I felt pressed on all sides.

Boxes upon boxes of day old baby chicks.
I felt sorry for them.
Born to die.
And yet there is nothing tastier to me than a well prepared chicken salad.

This little old man was just the cutest thing. He reminded me of the man from 'Up'.
We slyly took his photo.

Then I saw her.
A banty hen with six babies.
My heart was beating out of control.

I stood guard by the box, nonchalantly looking around at the roosters nearby like I was interested in them. I didn't want the portly hispanic man at my side to know just how serious I was about gettin' that bird.
I had cash baby, and I'm not afraid to spend it.

The closer the auctioneer got, the more irregular my heartbeat got. I don't do well at auctions. I get confused. I get excited. I bid on things I don't really want. I overbid.
The bidding started at $20. Knowing I only had $46 in my chicken purse, I threw up a little in my mouth. I panicked thinking the chubby senor was going to take her home and eat her.
I won her and the babies at $30.

(cute chicken necklace, no? Thanks Debbie!)

I'll have some better pics of this psycho hen later. I'm just trying to let her calm down. That thing bites me like crazy. Is it just that she has the babies? I'm not familiar with bantams, nor broody hen behavior. So much for my banty fantasies of this little bird being my buddy.
Any advice would be appreciated!

All the chickens at the auctions went home with new owners.
What their fate was, it's anyone's guess.
So many of the birds just looked half dead.
Featherless, sad-looks on their beaks, neurotic.

This was one feisty box of boys.
One was pinkish - at first I thought it was blood - but it was the color of the feathers.

What Fifi would do for that box of testosterone.
Her behavior is shameful.

After the auction, we went out and I promptly ordered a Grilled Chicken Salad.

I have no shame.


  1. I still think I would like some Bantams even after being talked out of it this year. Maybe next. I really should see how year one goes with the girls I have. Cute little guy he must have made you smile thinking of the movie. We are having rain and cold days here. Frost 3 days in a row. Hoping it is not affection our strawberries they are a field of blooms. Hubs planted the peas and raspberries yesterday just in time for more rain. If I liked purple I would surly love the side of that barn. I don't not like it but I have never been drawn to it. I do like lavender though. Sweet baby. Have a good week!

  2. Don't have chickens now, but would like to someday. Love rainy days in the spring. Gives me a chance to recover from the all the frantic gardening this time of year.

  3. sooo is it a bad thing when your chicken makes loud noises at 5:30 a.m.? Not crowing, just loud chicken-ish sounds.
    I think i have a rooster on my hands.

  4. Girl, you better get to the doc and see about your ticker! Very funny post about the chickens! For some reason I have a craving for Chicken Salad, hmmm...

  5. Jayme,

    Hope your heart is beating regularly. Not good, my friend. Love the honey sign outside the old barn. Farmers sell veggies and flowers here roadside on the honor system as well. It always gives me a good feeling inside. The hell with hoarders, buried alive. Carry that chicken purse with pride. I'd carry a well protected egg too, in the event anyone says something you have it to throw at them! More chickens?! They are sweet.


  6. I'm so glad you got the banty and her babies! She's beautiful!

    Oh I so empathize with your post. Irregular heart beats, weight gain, tired, anxious, trips to the ER... been there. Sounds like menopause to me. My doctor tells me the symptoms can last several years after that magic day. Oh joy!

    Here is what's working for me (or at least keeping me sorta sane) ... vitamins: B-12, D, Calcium. Abdominal breathing: breathe in through your nose, stomach out; breathe out through your mouth, stomach in. Do this at least five times (it's amazing how this can calm an anxiety attack). Prescription: Trazodone 25 mg at night to help with sleep. I finally broke down after years of sleep deprivation. It seems to help and supposedly it's non-habit forming with no side effects (except it makes you sleepy). ...and that's all I'm gonna say about that.

    Love the chicken purse!

  7. JAYME!!!!!Guess What? Wes says I can have chickens at the new house as long as it's not against "zoning" WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! My life long dream of growing up to be you is coming true! I also may have talked him into a worm can...I am the world's happiest little rural urbanite! Love the new girl and her babes, she's beautiful even if she is a bit of a psycho. Love you Jaym!

    P.S. Dylan said to tell you he misses you.

  8. I have heard that bantys are more fiesty than other chickens. You have to keep us updated on her. She is beautiful though. I think you should name her MamaHen :).

  9. Or Mrs. Eliose. She looks like an Eliose.

  10. Jayme, even when you have been away (way too long for us) and get back to what you call "randomness"...it is absolutely wonderful to read. I've had friends and even my daughter has trouble with her irregular heart beat. It is frustrating...and usually requires meds of SOME kind...even if homeopathic.

    The weight thing...well, life has a way of interrupting our best plans. But, YEAH for the 6.5 pounds down.

    Love the necklace..and the purse...for YOU. ha. Very fitting.

    You are so cute about these auctions you go to and those chickens.

    It's your shamelessness (is that a word?) that we all adore about you.

    Come back to us all again soon.

    We love you.

  11. OMG, you are shameless......chicken salad???????
    Good Lord.
    What's wrong with spagetti??
    Tuna? Grilled cheese?????

  12. I think.............we were separated at birth. Love the post and use the purse proudly.

  13. I love this post. We had bantys(sp?) a few years ago and we all loved them dearly. Hubby made a pet of the rooster and would bring him in the house all the time. When our daughter wouldn't get up on Saturday mornings, hubby would put the rooster in her room and he would crow on cue. She soon got up! I don't remember the hens being real friendly though. Take care with that heartbeat thing, okay?

  14. Aw, the little old man does look exactly like Carl Fredricksen from "Up". Banties are so much fun, and adorable because they're smaller than chickens which makes their eyes look HUGE and round. She's adorable, what are you going to call her? :)

  15. hey love, quick note, forced coughing will stop the racing of the heart. Have done this for years, have been checked by the finest cardiologists as you know....it's all hormones. and trazadone's only ugly side effect after time can be nightmares. Son'1 has been on it for years and had to stop due to sudden nightmares according to the pharm and dr. The vitamins are excellent and valerian is the bomb to help sleep and it's all natural. Love you, Ra

  16. I have the same problem with my heart and not even a heart specialist could find anything wrong with me. It only happens once in a while now instead of every day and guess I have to live with it since my heart checks out fine.

    The Blue Ridge Gal

  17. Another fantastic post! Praying all is well with your health!

  18. i love your new little hen, she's as cute as can be!
    Recipe for those delicious looking scrolls??? Please?

  19. Can't wait to hear the names of all your new feathery friends. What's the headcount these days?
    Your posts are always so fun to read, and now you've given me a craving for a well made chicken salad!
    I bet your garden is loving the rain.
    Have a great day, Chicken Lady!

  20. You inspire me. I'm ready to settle down a bit and clean this sorely neglected home of mine. Make good meals again and actually have them planned out. Loose some dreadful weight. Visit your chickens. And meet you! When are you leaving? I think we need to make a date. You've given me grace over the past few months...now you get a week (or so) and we're ON!
    p.s. hormone fluctuations make me mad. have you had a holter monitor? and were those beautiful cinnamon rolls on your "clean" plan? if so, I want what you have! hugs. c

  21. Hi Jayme, Just wanted to drop you a line. Wow, more chickens. They are adorable though. Those cinnamon rolls look delish. I've been baking alot lately myself with all this rain we've been having. Hope to see ya soon.Cyn

  22. That chicken purse is dee-vine. I love it. Pay no attention to Hoarders (you're not one, anyway) and keep carryin' that purse. Tres chic!!

    And yeah, what about those gorgeous 'cinnamon-y looking pastry swirl thingies'...do tell.

  23. First off, let me thank you for buying the chicken salad sand. I've mentioned before Tyson is our bread and butter. Now for the heart pain. Mine did that when I was going through all the stress with Mom when she first moved. I was also starting menopause. You are not the only stubborn woman in the world who doesn't go to the doctor, I didn't either. Not until it was time for my annual pap and I told my GYN about it. He said stress can cause angina pains. Of course he told me to have it checked out if it didn't go away but it did go away after my life calmed down. I was having those stupid pains, gripping pains for a while then all of a sudden they are gone. Guess he was right. Are you taking a low dose aspirin everyday? I take 1 alka seltzer at bedtime...Dr. Oz said night time is the best time to take your aspirin and the baking soda in it keeps me from having acid reflux in the night. I hope I haven't used up all your word space with my LONG comment. Love ya Jamie...
    joycee over at grannymountain

  24. GET THAT HEART CHECKED !!!!!!!!!!

  25. I will happily take the chicken purse off your hands!


  26. LOL! Good for you for having the chicken!

    Could your heart be a panic attack?

  27. Jayme, random or not, I always love your posts! Your new baby chicks are just the cutest little things, I so understand why you got them. If it wasn't for hubby, I'd have some chickens myself right now. (Deep down I know he's right, our dogs and chickens wouldn't mix)
    Your purse makes a statement and you shouldn't care what anybody thinks about it. Carry it proudly! About your heart: you should go and have it checked out, better safe than sorry...
    Take it easy and have a wonderful day!

  28. We had a few banty hens when I was a kid and they were a bit wild. They were not calm and lazy like our big white laying hens. They also laid small green tinted eggs that my Dad convinced me were the "rooster's eggs" making me the joke of my 5th grade class because I really thought that the rooster laid them.

  29. Can I just say I love your blog? You make me laugh. That little man DOES look like the one in UP...wow.
    Love the baby chicks...Trying to stay away from teh Hardware where they have babies right now!!!

  30. I am glad you took home that little mama. I hope you are feeling better.

  31. Your posts always make me laugh. Thanks!

  32. Jayme, love your chicken purse...continue to carry it with my permission!
    love your chicken necklace!
    love your new chicken.
    now...about the heart...do for yourself what I do for Chelsea...just put your hand over your chest and say "calm, calm..." I'm serious. It works on an out of control Corgi.
    xo, Cheryl

  33. I love your new chickens and your chicken necklace and your chicken writing and your whole, blessid chicken self.

    And I'm sorry for my unnecessarily long diatribe about Silas's.

    But you'll never know the burden you removed from my shoulders with that post. Weight of the world, I tell ya. Weight of the world.

  34. Jayme~You are so wonderful. I always look forward to your posts. I smile, laugh and want to drop-by your farm and play!

    I am in Tucson with my brother who had a heart attach and then double by-pass surgery. He is recovering well. It is nice to be here with him. I will return to California on Saturday.

    Happy days to you. Enjoy every minute!

  35. PS~I love you purse and your necklace. They really say who you are and show you passion!

  36. Aaron, The PhotographerMay 13, 2010 at 12:22 PM

    I love that little old man and Phyllis seems to be calming down.

    Love ya!!!!!!!!

  37. I just love your random posts! I would tell you to go to the doc about the crazy heart beats, but I, with a known (minor) heart condition, continue to wait it out and think the occasional craziness will 'go away' (sigh). I blame mine on hormones and perhaps indigestion. I am my own best physician, or in my own mind at least.

    Love the honey stand photo!

  38. continue to have no shame and enjoy your chicken purse dispite it's maligned television debut!
    I always love your posts, the more random the better :)

  39. I'm pretty sure that the title of this post is my favorite post title ever. I love those little chocolate babies. So cute! I have super beaty heart problems too and have been through all of the testing (expensive!) and have been told that I'm healthy as a horse but I'm still convinced I'm going to die (sooner rather than later) of a massive heart attack. I feel your pain. Literally. Nice to see a post from you girlfriend. I hope you aren't wearing yourself out too much.

  40. Magnesium daily helped my heart thingy. Love your blog. B.

  41. I hope you're well! I still love your blog and reading about your chickens. We are moving soon and I thought I'd have to get rid of my chickens, but I found out I'll be able to (legally) keep three!! I'm so happy.

    I know there's a difference in age between us, but I experience scary heart palpitations/skipped beats/pressure when I'm stressed and anxious. I don't know if you believe in God, but when I stop focusing on stresses in this world and trust God it definitely helps those symptoms. They come back, but I can "fight" them away most times. Good luck. (hug)

  42. Oh, and banties are very protective of their little ones. Once she has them 'raised' you may be able to be friends with her. You are so new to her now..a big scary thing. B.

  43. That heart thing doesn't sound good... worried about you here!

    (( hugs ))

    Congrats on the sexlinks (mmm tons of eggs in 20 weeks!) and the banties - just be sure to quarantine everyone for 30 days, specially the babies as they are so fragile at this age and coccidiosis and coryza are rampant where many chickens flock about. Not everyone keeps a clean operation...

    I speak from experience and quite a few dead birds from illness :(

    A broody hen will fiercely protect her young, specially from strangers - so you're in for a few weeks of "getting to know one another" - patience and treats are the key!

    can't wait to see them all grow up :)

  44. Awesome post! I had to read it out loud to dear hubby... I want that ridiculously fab necklace AND purse (tho Buried Alive will make everyone watching fill their trashbins, so I stopped watching). I too have had the stress heart scares and spent too much $ and time in the ER just to be SURE... I feel better seeing the comments & tips here. Don't worry, keep up with your yummy diet and enjoy those peeps!!! I always love visiting your blog. Thanks for all you share (old news or new news)!

  45. I like your blog and just wanted to comment on the heart issue. To be on the safe side, I would have it checked out...but knowing your age, I would hazard to guess that it is a lovely side effect of menopause. Have had your same symtoms and more in the first few years. My heart used to really act up when I was stressed or particularly at night. It would act up so severely and even hurt, that it would make me sit straight up in bed wondering if I would die in my sleep..LOL Only at the time it wasn't a laughing matter. Anyway, with time it stopped being so crazy and now just an occasional skip that the doc calls PVC's. I do have some acid reflux which doesn't help either and can cause some skipping, too. If your doctor says it's not serious, then don't worry...altho it's hard not too sometimes. Good luck!

  46. Love your post, Jayne! The banties are so cute...she looks like a golden-laced wyandotte. Do they make a banty version of that one? I have a silver-laced wyandotte and she is one of my sweetest hens. Henrietta's her name.

    The forced coughing sounds right...I've read that's the thing to do. My daughter had supraventricular tachycardia, which is very rapid heartbeat that doesn't subside. She recently had a heart ablation to take care of the problem. It took many years to get a correct diagnosis.

    Love that chicken purse! I prefer extreme collecting as a term, rather than hoarding. Doesn't sound quite as looney! ;-}


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