How the heck to you respond to comments!? Ha! I'm just stuck in this weird loop - seems that I have responded, but nothing shows up...
Just wanted to say THANK YOU for the warm welcome back - gosh was it a balm to my soul to see you guys! Consider this post a response to your comments. I can't figure out how to do it properly!
I have just a few more days in the marshmallow mines - then we'll just enjoy a quiet Christmas - and I'll be up on Instagram catching up with you guys.
It’s the glorious month of May in the glorious State of Indiana.
2018
What a wonderful time to be alive.
May has always and forever been one of my two favorite months.
May and October, October and May.
Utter deliciousness.
Polar opposites.
My love of this fabulous weather and greenery makes a good argument to leave these parts for more temperate lands...but alas, a Midwest girl is what I am.
It takes gumption and moxie to live here, and dadgumit, I like it.
In May, every thing is fresh and new, nothing’s been ravaged from the heat and bugs.
In October, every thing is nearly gone, kissed by frost's kiss of death.
Usually by this time of the month, I’m standing on street corners begging for money, so I can go get my next fix at the garden center. This year, I’ve only been twice.
I look around at the work that I need to do, and as usual, it’s overwhelming to me...especially working 24/7 slinging marshmallows.
But.
This year something happened.
The lilacs bloomed as they do every year, albeit what seemed a bit late because of our unseasonably cool temps. I reveled in them as usual, exclaiming to anyone in earshot how I did believe it to be the most wonderful time of the year.
And then my analytical, 'let’s think about some morbid things' brain kicked in...and I did the math for the best case scenario of how many more times I’ll witness these blooms bursting.
You guys.
If that doesn’t sober ya up, I’m not sure what will.
I’m thinking best case scenario, I’ve got maybe 25 more times to witness this wonder of May.
I had to have a come to Jesus meeting. I’ve been working, to my detriment, like a fool, for three solid years. I feel like I’ve aged 20 years. I don’t laugh that much anymore. I don’t find the joy in homemaking anymore. I seriously barely recognized myself.
I took a day off. I went to the garden center, and I went and bought four young hens.
I took out my calendar, and erased nearly half the markets that I’d planned on doing.
It’s still going to take a little doing, but I’m aiming to work only four days a week.
I know it’s been said ad nauseum, how fast life goes by, etc, but seriously...I’ve watched the lilac bushes bloom here 30 times this year...and I’d be sore pressed to believe I’ve got another 30 times.
20 Blooms later.
I pray so hard that I’ll remember this lesson of the lilacs this year.
The photos dispersed about in here are from my yard! Do you even recognize it? I keep telling myself it’s got good bones...and I’m doing my best to get some things done when I can, and be grateful for what I do have...but some days I’m just mad as a hornet that I don’t have the time!
Walking on Shelf Ice at Kemil Beach, Lake Michigan
This is the question I hear the most - so I thought I'd talk about it first....
That...and I really have no idea what else to talk about!
Life is so very different now.
I do not presently have chickens.
Or bees.
Truly - my house has that 'I think that lady died' look about it now.
I kinda cringe when I come home - and see alllll the work that we really need to do. I've pondered selling so very often, just walking away from it all,
but,
there's just something here that keeps me.
Newest Feline Acquisition - Baby Louie
Now that Aaron has grown the heck up, I haven't much to love on and nurture, other than the three cats, a canary, and
myself.
And Glenco of course!
I'm finally learning to take care of myself above all things.
It ain't easy sisters.
Aaron is 22.
Do you know that it was Easter of 2009 when I first decided I would blog and talk about chickens, cakes and homeschooling?
NINE YEARS!
I absolutely couldn't believe that I got comments from my last blog post!
It truly felt like a family reunion of sorts.
I am so very rusty at this, not that I ever wasn't - but it feels clunky and awkward at the moment, trying to blog - hopefully it'll flow again soon.
So - this kid Aaron.
He's 22.
He's engaged.
He lives in Chicago.
He still does hair.
I don't know how this is supposed to work - once a boy grows up, gets engaged and moves away - but if I look upon Facebook enough - at all the big family pictures, and grandbabies, and full houses on the holidays - I'm apt to feel a bit left out.
We go through spurts of talking often, sprinkled with a few weeks of no contact.
At times, the emotional Jayme peeks out and has thoughts like 'it feels like he died! We were so close!' - and then the rational Jayme takes over and remembers what it was like to be 22 - and I get it.
Also, the business has had me so busy the last few years, I'm not sure which way is up at times.
I did get to see him yesterday, and short of kidnaping him, I enjoyed every stinking second of it. I drank him in with hugs and kisses, and really was able to control myself with firing a million questions at him like 'are you eating enough? did you pay your bills? do you sleep enough? etc, etc.'
We had a fantastic visit.
My heart felt good after seeing him.
Honest to Pete, I feel like you guys helped me raise the boy.
We did a good job guys.
I sense that he's going to be ok.
I've learned so so much, and matured in so many ways - Aaron has been the greatest gift in my life.
Aaron, Andrew and Diva
He's engaged, but there is no date set - and for that I feel glad. Honestly, I don't think he's (they) are quite ready. We've come to love Andrew like a son, and we absolutely adore his family as well.
We've decided to set dates to see each other, every three weeks.
I literally cannot wait til April 15th.
:-)
You have no idea how I've missed sitting here....cursor blinking. No idea. If anyone is still here reading this, that would be rather amazing. Perhaps you are. Thank you.
I have no idea what to say, but on this last day of Winter 2018 - I just wanted to say - I'm well. I'm happy. Business is great. I'm back. I'm so uber determined to blog again. I've been able to meet so many of you in my travels. It's been so humbling, exciting, and sort of embarrassing at times. : -)
This is just a quick hello - I will be back tomorrow. You have no idea what I went through just to get ON this dog gone blog...ha ha! I mean, I'd forgotten the email address, the password. Almost gave up. I'm just now seeing comment that were posted nearly a year ago.
Here's a few recent pictures of what I've been up to. Oh goodness, I have tales to tell.
It's been approximately 2.5 years ago now that I started selling marshmallows,
and turned my whole danged world upside down.
Guess what?
I am still alive.
In fact - I'm quite alive, thriving and so happy lately that my face hurts from smiling,
and my heart aches from joy, much like a sore, overworked muscle.
At times, I've been sure I've ruined my life.
At times, I've been sure this was the best decision I've ever made.
Most of the time, I've not been sure of anything, other than being scared half to death.
But.
Now.
At this time.
I'm rather certain that maybe, just maybe this is a good thing.
In the last two weeks or so, I've felt more like myself that I have since the first time I set up
Me Olde Marshmallow Stand at a Farmer's Market.
Land sakes, I've worked so hard in the last couple of years, and sacrificed so many of the things I've loved.
Nary a chicken in the yard.
Nary a bee.
Nary a blossom.
(I know - it's only March - and I bet if I looked, I'd find a crocus or three.)
I look back on those years of gardening my fingers to the bone, getting the heck stung out of me by my bees, and chicken keeping with the fondest of memories! The years blogging, raising the BoyChild - what a sweet, sweet time of life!
(Aaron update - he's engaged! He's 21! Gahhhhh!)
The house and garden have definitely gotten that 'does that lady live there anymore?' kind of a vibe to it. In some ways, it's quite liberating - and in others, it hurts my heart to see how two years of not focusing on 'home things' has made the house seem sad looking to the passerby.
You know - it'll be a year next week that Glenco left his truck driving J.O.B. and started peddling marshmallows full time with me. It's been a journey for sure - and this Sunday - we celebrate our 34th anniversary. And - I still kinda like him, after spending every waking moment of the last year with him. Oh, it's been trying at times - but there's been more laughs than scowls (I think, I didn't count). I only fired him twice in the last year - so that wasn't too bad. : -)
The moral of the story?
I've survived with hints of thriving.
The housework has been caught up on, and I can with every confidence tell you that my home is the cleanest it's been in 2.5 years.
I have industrial mixers and commercial ovens now, and I'm not working myself
14-16 hours a day anymore.
The shows are much easier now that we use the Squirrel and don't have to set up a booth each time.
I'm happy that she gets to travel so much now. : -) Everybody LOVES her! This is still a very rudimentary set up - I have a lot of ideas!
I came this close to going to get baby ducks today at the feed store today.
Glimpses of Jayme are coming back.
:-)
I've been able to spend time with friends again.
There's a good chance that there will be blossoms and home grown tomatoes in my yard again this year.
I really don't think I truly appreciated my garden until I lost it!
All of that to say this -
Life balances out.
I don't think I ever really realized how difficult it would be to start a bona fide business. I really, REALLY wanted to share this whole journey with you here - but good grief, I'm lucky I showered at times. When I look at it - I think - what the heck? I sell some s'mores out of a camper!? What's the big deal? There's not enough time in the world to tell you the work that's gone on behind the scenes. Mind boggling. My ADHD doesn't help things - well, it helps SOME things!
I don't think we would have gotten this far in two years if I hadn't been a bit whackadoodle.
What most excites me is the emotional journey that this has been for me.
At times, fear completely crippled me.
Crippled.
It manifested in anger, frustration, and worry.
What if?
How?
It's almost like I thought that we'd DIE if this didn't work out -
when the reality would be - get a job.
What's so bad about that?
Well, it seems to be working out - for now anyhow - and my days are spent with Glenco - whipping sugar into cubes, hauling the camper far and wide - and meeting some of the most fun, creative, kind people you can imagine. Don't get me wrong - there are many hard moments, but that's true in any profession.
My days aren't filled with fear anymore - but it has it's moments where it rears it's ugly head, and I have to remind myself that my worst case scenario is me stacking organic romaine at Whole Foods and that actually sounds fun...
I'm stunned that I had comments - ha! Amazing. Thank you for still being about the world wide web and clicking here when you saw that I posted.
I'm here- once again.
I really, truly, have missed blogging.
What about it did I miss?
You guys.
The laughs.
The belly gazings.
The drivel.
Documenting my life.
Let's begin.
It's been a loooonnng time since I've blogged, as you know - and it's hard to just jump back in.
So much has happened.
I'm just slapping some photos on here to give you an idea of what we've been doing.
Glenco did indeed quit his job on March 15th of this year.
It was all sorts of scary.
Mallow money is our only income.
People keep asking Glen how he likes retirement - we both look at each other and chuckle a bit thinking 'they don't get it, do they?'
We've never worked so hard in all our born days.
We do take the Squirrel out for many shows. In fact, just this month we gutted the poor thing. I found taking a crowbar to the Squirrel more emotional than I thought I would - tearing out the benches that Aaron and I had our 'Lattes and Literature' at.
I'll talk more about that later.
Remember my cousin Jimmy? From Missouri?
This was last summer, he came up again this summer and helped us too.
This was last winter at the grand opening of an ice skating rink. See allllll those people? They were in a line to get s'mores. We roasted 400 s'mores in two hours. I.am.not.kidding.
Our work table looked like a crime scene - except it wasn't blood - it was chocolate!
I've had the logo redesigned somewhat - changed from red and yellow to blue and cream.
Of course, true Jayme-style - I question this decision on a weekly basis, and still wonder why I'm using a chicken in my logo.
I applied for, and was accepted by the Indiana Artisan organization as a food artisan. It's rather a big deal! They only accepted two food artisans this year, out of eighty applications, and I was one of them.
In the midst of the marshmallow mania - I felt the need to nurture SOMETHING. I adopted a pregnant cat. : -) She had five babies, which I then had to bottle feed after two weeks. We ended up keeping one of them.
I have no chickens, for now.
I re-homed them - just trying to keep life as simple as possible at the moment.
"Is that why you adopted a pregnant cat?"
Don't judge.
:-)
I also got zebra finches and a canary.
So there.
We do, many, many vintage markets. It's what seems to be our 'vibe'. I did a few festivals this past summer, but don't really cotton to people spillin' their beers upon my Waverly tablecloths.
There are so many vintage markets in the area - almost too many. It's hard to choose which one to do. I've been blessed with so many opportunities.
Just because I didn't think we had quite enough going on with our booth - marshmallows, s'mores, and a frozen hot chocolate drink - I up and made a Frosted Lemonade. It was an instant hit.
The Indiana Board of Tourism stopped at my booth and took some shots - I thought this montage turned out swell.
Just because s'mores, and s'mores on a stick weren't enough - I upped and made s'mores in a jar.
Again, and instant hit. Sold them like hotcakes. Then - we were doing a BIG show in South Bend, so I made 50 of them - and sold 3. For real.
I can't look at these anymore without feeling nauseated.
I hear that's what happens when you overeat something.
Not that I'd know a thing about that!
Fourth of July Mallow Kabobs!
Blueberry, Vanilla and Cherry.
Up in New Buffalo MI.
More adorable customers. These gals are the best. One of them drove three hours to get marshmallows. I'm totally serious.
I have groupies.
After burning out four- count them - four - KitchenAid mixers, I bought this.
I also bought a giant convection oven that I refer to as 'the beast'.
I can bake 125 cookies in the time it will take you to read this post.
Wedding favors?
Of course I do that.
Mallows.
Many, many mallows.
Aaron - I couldn't give an update without talking about him.
Have you seen this photo?
Gah. He's a gorgeous boy.
I have more 'real' photos of him on my phone, but that would require too much computer work to transfer them..ha..maybe next time.
He's well.
He's just so danged grown up.
Today I unpacked the fall décor - better late than never - and found the little construction paper pumpkin cutouts we did years ago. I immediately choked up. It just all went so fast. I want a do over! What a gift it would be if just for ONE day -we could go back in time - knowing full well that it was just for that one day - how we would leave our phones be, and be so fully present with our loved ones - wouldn't we?
Oh, if I could just have Aaron ONE MORE DAY as a baby - or a toddler - or five, or ten years old.
Sigh.
A cute caricature a very talented artist/vendor/friend did of me.
I got a bit misty when I saw it - to see me through someone else's eyes - you know?
She didn't draw bucked teeth or anything!
Our signature hot cocoa.
Salted Caramel mallow.
So this month marks two years since I started whipping sugar up into cubes.
It's by far the hardest thing I have ever done.
It has taxed me in every way possible.
Physically - it's exhausting. I have stood some, if not most - for the last two years - for 14 hours a day. My legs bear the tale. My feet sing the song nightly. I've been so cold at markets I've nearly cried. I've been so hot at markets I've nearly fainted. I've been swarmed by wasps. I've been in torrential downpours. I've had the wind nearly take the whole display.
Mentally - Lord have mercy - it's like juggling 59 balls in the air at once. I think there's a reason many businesses fail in the first couple of years. I just don't think some people are willing to give so much of themselves. It's funny - cause I think - it's MARSHMALLOWS for the love of God. But that's just the tip of the iceberg. It's paperwork. Finances. Developing recipes, perfecting recipes. Setting up a commercial kitchen. Dealing with the health department. Display. Graphic design. It goes on and on and on.
Emotionally - well, this is me you are reading about - so of course - I've been all over the board. At times, I feel dramatic and think 'I've ruined our lives!' - and then there are the times - like yesterday - 2pm in the afternoon - and we are swimming at the Y, or it's 7:15 in the morning, and the house is quiet, and Glenco is still wrapped in blankets, sleeping - not up and out at 3am driving a truck - and I think 'alright, alright, alright'.
:-)
I still fight fear. A lot. I'm learning. I'm growing. I'm letting go more.
I've met the most fantastic people, a few I consider dear friends now. I've seen people work HARD. I admire that. I always have. I've seen the comradery of generous, hard working people. I see that more than anything - and perhaps it's because I am reaping what I sow - I'm not sure - but I encounter kindness and love 99% of the time, from 99% of the people I meet.
Perhaps it's because I sell marshmallows - I mean - how can you NOT be happy?
If I'm honest - I have to say, things are starting to settle down, even if this IS the last day I have off until mid-December. Perhaps it's my mind that has settled down. I have a good kitchen routine - I have my shows booked for the rest of the year - I know what to expect.
