Sunday, May 10, 2015

On Mothering

I awoke this morning in an off mood.
Nothing in particular - more tired than anything.

Two Farmer's Markets a week - the struggle is real y'all.
I'm a tired (but very happy!) girl.

I have to keep reminding myself that I'm my own boss - and I can arrange my schedule anyway I'd like to - but apparently I'm 'that' boss - and choose to work myself to a nub on a regular basis.

So this morning comes, and it's Mother's Day - I'm fraught with several emotions.
My mother is gone.
I'm not a real mother.

Or - at least that's what my brain wanted to inform my heart of  at 7:02 this morning.

So let's sort out the truth.

My mother indeed did pass away nearly 15 years ago - or 12 years ago - or?
(I think - see, this is the memory loss I told you about.  
I can't remember - I'd have to look it up to know)

But is she gone?
She is not.

Case in point - look at this photo:

She is right here, with me always.
Her smile.
Her hair.
Her love of holding livestock.
She's here.
Her generous spirit still guides me, gives me strength and hope.

And then there's that whole 'see you on the other side' kind of promise we have here that takes the whole sting out of death.

As far as my brain telling me I'm not a mother?

I am too - heck, my business is even named Mother Wilma's!

I've had the most high honor of sharing in the mothering of this young man:

And if THIS isn't mothering....

I don't know what is!

In fact, I mother everything and everyone.
Except Glenco.
Be careful not to mother your husbands ladies.

I really do hope you know you don't have to accept every thought that your brain tries to tell you.
You could live a pretty crappy life if you allow those shenanigans.

Once my heart told my brain what to think - I was in just a fine mood.
Realizing I'm blessed beyond measure, I thought I might just take a moment to think about what kind of 'mother' I really am.  

I have absolutely no expectations on Aaron today for Mother's Day.  I expect no gifts, no attention.  I want him to do what would make him happy today.  I want him to know that I think the world of him - I want him to know that I'm so danged proud of him.  I want him to know that I try not to worry about him, but instead trust that he can take care of himself, and trust his decisions - and know that I've been loving and supportive enough that he knows I'm always here for him if he needs me.

I want to be the kind of mother that is gentle with her words.  Not critical.  Always loving.  I want to plant seeds in his heart of joy, hope, love, wonder, caring, abundance and peace.  I don't ever want him to feel the obligation to call me, visit me, or spend time with me.  I want him to want to do that.  I'm over the moon that he does want that.

So, on a day that honors mothers, my heart seeks to be honorable.
I hope you seek that too.


  1. As always you are an inspiration!!

  2. Don't ever think you are not a real mother. A child doesn;t have to come from your loins for you to be a mother, they come from your heart. You felt and feel everything a mother feels, were there whenever a mother should have been there, and would risk life and limb for that boy. That's what a mother is. So you're a MOTHER. So there.

  3. That pic of your mum is priceless-even the pig looks like it's having fun! I've read your blog for a few years now, and have read it all through more than once (does that make me odd?!) I cannot begin to tell you how much your blog has blessed my life through some particularly hard years-thank you a million times over for being authentic, real and honest. They are such beautiful qualities that I'm working on ( ; With love on Mother's Day (though not for us-we had it in March!) Vicky xx

  4. Beautiful Jayme and filed with inspiration . . .

  5. I like the never obligation bit . . . instead . . . wanting to . . . not a should!

  6. Beautifully said and so inspirational!

    I had to chuckle when I read, "Be careful not to mother your husbands, ladies." Isn't that the truth?!

    Thank you for helping me to see what this world is all about! Sending you love this Mother's Day!

  7. I went though my box of tissues reading this. HUGS!!!

  8. I love that picture of your mother!! You are her daughter! Lovely post.

  9. As moms, we only set ourselves up for disappointment when we 'expect' specific actions on Mother's Day from loved ones. Just go with the flow is what I do and it generally ends up being a nice day.

  10. Jayme, you may not realize it, but in describing your feelings about Aaron, you sounded just like any mother I know. You raised a very handsome, kind hearted, delightful young man and you should be very proud. When women who haven't actually born a child say they are not a mother, I have to argue with them. If they have cared for anyone and loved them as you have loved Aaron, then they are mothers to their very core. A very late Happy Mother's Day. You are a blessing.

  11. Were you in Columbus, IN this past weekend(Memorial Day?) If not, your doppleganger was. I saw a lady who looked just like you at an Arby's drive through. I wanted to get out of my car and run up and ask.

    1. Ha ha ha! No, I sure wasn' funny! : -) I get that all the time - people ALWAYS say 'you look so familiar'. : -)

  12. Jayme, I have enjoyed your honesty, trials, and how you've overcome so much while reading through your posts and am also intrigued with many of your recipes. Have you thought about providing links to all your recipes? It's hard digging through all the posts to get there!


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