Saturday, September 20, 2014

A Pig Named Cool Whip

the contentment of pigs

I've been quite busy in my absence.
I still struggle with time management - trying to stuff 10 lbs of turnips in a 5 lb sack so to speak.

I still struggle saying no - cause I really do want to do everything.
The more I say yes, the more frazzled I become and the next thing I know I'm somewhere mid-week, bra-less, in my pajamas, overwhelmed, nursing a latte at 3pm. Sometimes it feels as if squirrels have nested in my brain, and I can't for the life of me think right or prioritize anything.  

When I get overwhelmed like that, I dream the craziest dreams.  Full color, feature length film type dreams.  I had such a dream shortly after picking up half a hog that I purchased locally from a gal that raised it humanely and organically.


Let me talk about bacon for a moment before I tell you about the dream - did you know that half a hog only has about 8#s of bacon on it?  I'm not sure I can convey the disappointment I felt when learning this news.  The butcher had called me asking me gobs of questions like 'how thick do you want your pork chops?', 'do you want your bacon thin or thick?' - that's when I stopped him.  I asked him how much bacon there was.  "About 8lbs.".  My heart (and my stomach) sank to the ground.  I was hoping this half a hog would last us a year - until I could purchase another one.  There was no way 8lbs of bacon was going to last me much over a week, let alone a year - anyhow - I had the bacon sliced thick, but only had them process half of it.  I'm going to try to smoke the remaining 4lbs myself.  Stay tuned.  

The butcher also asked me if I wanted the lard.  I said yes, just because I thought if I had it coming, I wanted it.  What I would do with it, I had no idea.  Of course, if I were still baking pies daily, I could have used it.  I toyed with the idea of making soap.  It just sat in my freezer for a while, and just recently, I gave it to my homesteading neighbor - because I purchased a quarter of a cow and needed the freezer space.


The meat, by the way, is incredibly delicious - and quite different from the pork I had been purchasing at the store.  I still struggle with eating meat - and if I think about it too much it truly bothers me - but for now - I do get my meat locally, raised organically - and it eases my conscious somewhat. I do know that I shan't raise my own birds for meat again, or at least at this writing, I know I won't.  We all know how I change with the wind though.  Don't be surprised if next week I'm ordering birds for butcher!

Back to the dreams - 

I dreamt I had a pig named Cool Whip and we were the best of pals.  Then, I dreamt about that bucket of lard.  I dreamt that I was slightly stalking Alton Brown.  I mean - I've got a total crush on the guy.  I drove to Cleveland to meet him - he was so kind. (that really happened, I didn't dream it!)

In my dream, Alton was avoiding me like the plague, until he found out that I possessed a bucket of organic lard.  The tables then turned, and he was pursuing me.
And that my friends - is the power of hog.

I'll close here with a recipe - it's for ribs (of course) by Alton Brown (of course).

My favorite rib recipe by far - although I do leave the chili powder out of the rub.

Til soon, 


  1. Oh Jayme.... you are too funny!! I just love reading your shenanigan-ness.

    You're right about the stuff (home-butchered) tasting way better than what you'll find in the store.


  2. Missed you! I also am a huge fan of bacon. I find myself making four strips - two for my eggs and two to crumble over my lunchtime salad. Who am I kidding? I wolf down 2 as they come out of the pan and have two with my eggs. Then I make more and maybe I will have two strips for crumble!

    We have a couple of local farmers that will raise grass fed cattle for you. You by the steer and they raise it. I thought I would have a heart attack when I saw the price. I don't know that anyone locally raises hogs organically. I should probably do some research. I find myself eating less and less meat just because organic is so expensive. My sister has a farm that they don't use as such. They have a huge pasture that would be perfect to feed cows. I just have to convince my brother in law that it is a good idea!

  3. Going on 6 years now I haven't eaten meat. Thought I would miss it back then, and now I can't imagine eating it. Very happy and content without it. Wish I'd done it 30 years ago.

  4. I've missed you, Jayme! Hubs tells me he is buying a whole hog this year. I have no freezer space after such a bountiful garden season. Yikes! -Tammy

  5. Hi Jayme,

    Some of the best sausage I've ever had came from a guy who raised his own pig. Then, I ordered half a pig, from someone else, and didn't care for it much. I did save the lard. It's in the freezer. That was probably five years ago and it is still in the freezer!!! I was going to make soap out of it too. My neighbor took some home last week and made a cobbler and it still makes a delicious crust. I'll probably never make the soap. But she can keep borrowing it and making cobbler, because she always gives us some!

    Cindy Bee

  6. Was he Fat free or regular Cool Whip????

  7. Miss you. glad you are back.

    Love, Robin


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