I'm an emotional eater.
And, I'm quite emotional.
But, I think you've figured that out about me, haven't you?
Food pushes my emotional buttons - and they are all happy buttons.
Buttons of love, comfort, safety and happiness.
Without food - I felt comfortless.
It didn't feel good.
I started this new way of eating to lose weight.
I'm sticking with it because I feel so much better.
Mentally, emotionally and physically.
If I knew I wouldn't lose another pound, I'd still eat this way.
When I first stripped processed foods out of my life, I felt as though a love affair ended.
I missed the food - but I missed the love I felt from it more.
Rather sick, isn't it?
Food was an abusive lover.
He left me 95lbs overweight, fatigued, aching and with borderline high blood pressure.
It was high time I broke up with him for good.
As in any abusive relationships, sometimes we are left with the scars.
One of my scars was emotional eating to cope.
And I'm almost giggling - cause gals - it's not like I have a lot to 'cope' with.
My life is pretty stinkin' quiet.
A great example of my coping behaviors is this -
This past Sunday morning, I was simmering two quarts of beeswax with a little water to purify the wax.
I have no idea how, but I knocked the pan off the stove.
The hot wax splattered on my foot, my calf (I'm fine), and completely covered the front of my stove and a really large patch of the hardwood floor in the kitchen.
The wax splattered the island and the fridge too.
It was a monumental mess.
My first thought?
"Bring me to Dairy Queen!"
I used to say that to my dad all the time.
If I had been alone, and Glenco weren't here to stop me - I'd have gone to DQ and ordered an assortment of treats to calm my nerve.
I'd still have to come home and clean up a mess.
But I just wanted to 'check out' for a while.
I didn't go to Dairy Queen, but I was in a horrendous mood for about three hours while I worked through the emotions of WANTING to go to Dairy Queen.
You do know you can't dwell on things you can't have, right?
I choose to dwell on the things I don't miss, instead of the things I miss.
I don't miss weighing 250lbs.
I don't miss feeling like absolute crap.
I don't miss having really low self esteem because of my weight.
I don't miss hurting all over.
I don't miss size 22 jeans.
And that's where this guy comes in.
I know I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again -
this program works -
it addresses the emotional issues.
There's personal contact with Certified Wellness Coaches.
Coach talked me through Sunday via emails.
Every time I successfully have a day where I don't turn to food to soothe myself, I feel like it's a giant step forward.
Each time I tell myself it's OK to feel an uncomfortable emotion, without stuffing it down with Cheetos - I'm a day closer to freedom.
And the journey to freedom all starts with one step today.