I'm an emotional eater.
And, I'm quite emotional.
But, I think you've figured that out about me, haven't you?
Food pushes my emotional buttons - and they are all happy buttons.
Buttons of love, comfort, safety and happiness.
Without food - I felt comfortless.
It didn't feel good.
At all.
I started this new way of eating to lose weight.
I'm sticking with it because I feel so much better.
Mentally, emotionally and physically.
If I knew I wouldn't lose another pound, I'd still eat this way.
When I first stripped processed foods out of my life, I felt as though a love affair ended.
I missed the food - but I missed the love I felt from it more.
Rather sick, isn't it?
Food was an abusive lover.
He left me 95lbs overweight, fatigued, aching and with borderline high blood pressure.
It was high time I broke up with him for good.
As in any abusive relationships, sometimes we are left with the scars.
One of my scars was emotional eating to cope.
And I'm almost giggling - cause gals - it's not like I have a lot to 'cope' with.
My life is pretty stinkin' quiet.
A great example of my coping behaviors is this -
This past Sunday morning, I was simmering two quarts of beeswax with a little water to purify the wax.
I have no idea how, but I knocked the pan off the stove.
The hot wax splattered on my foot, my calf (I'm fine), and completely covered the front of my stove and a really large patch of the hardwood floor in the kitchen.
The wax splattered the island and the fridge too.
It was a monumental mess.
My first thought?
"Bring me to Dairy Queen!"
I used to say that to my dad all the time.
If I had been alone, and Glenco weren't here to stop me - I'd have gone to DQ and ordered an assortment of treats to calm my nerve.
I'd still have to come home and clean up a mess.
But I just wanted to 'check out' for a while.
I didn't go to Dairy Queen, but I was in a horrendous mood for about three hours while I worked through the emotions of WANTING to go to Dairy Queen.
You do know you can't dwell on things you can't have, right?
I choose to dwell on the things I don't miss, instead of the things I miss.
I don't miss weighing 250lbs.
I don't miss feeling like absolute crap.
I don't miss having really low self esteem because of my weight.
I don't miss hurting all over.
I don't miss size 22 jeans.
And that's where this guy comes in.
I know I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again -
this program works -
it addresses the emotional issues.
There's personal contact with Certified Wellness Coaches.
Coach talked me through Sunday via emails.
Every time I successfully have a day where I don't turn to food to soothe myself, I feel like it's a giant step forward.
Each time I tell myself it's OK to feel an uncomfortable emotion, without stuffing it down with Cheetos - I'm a day closer to freedom.
And the journey to freedom all starts with one step today.
Join me?
This is the best post yet!
ReplyDeleteTrying, so trying.
ReplyDeleteI'm trying too! It's hard, but I'll keep at it. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMy co-worker and I, both emotional eaters, were just talking about this! Perfect timing.
ReplyDeleteActually I've been reading your blog for about a year now and have so enjoyed getting to know you. This journey of yours has really inspired me - so just this past Monday I decided to join the band wagon. It's day (3) and I'm hoping I can continue to do this - I have to do this. I've got my cousin on it too - so we're doing it together!
ReplyDeleteThanks for everything!
Leann
I am my own worst enemy when it comes to emotional eating, I always have been. Thanks for sharing that you had a moment. Just watched the bread making tutorial, perfect for first time bread makers.
ReplyDeleteI can't say I'm all on board, but as of today I've decided to cut WAY down on the carbs and sugar (like nearly out). We don't use a lot of processed foods anyway. Breads and pasta and rice are my weaknesses. It's not that I don't like fruits and veggies, I do, but somehow I just reach for the others. So, wish me luck and let's see how this goes for the next week or ten days. That'll be the hardest time.
ReplyDeleteI've broken up with that deceptive abusive lover & gone back for more ;) many many times in the past 10 years! But they say it takes a woman at least 7 trys to leave this kind of lover for good.
ReplyDeleteSo...why not make THIS time, 'the time!' Right?
I'm back from vacation & I'm joining you! AND if life allows I'm blogging about it & linking back to you!
Thanks for the advice & in couragement!
You are a BLESSING!
So glad you didn't get burned! Gee... maybe you need a new stove? One that won't push pots off the burner. Thanks for this post. I'm about 98% off of processed foods... except for... like today I ate/really needed those three cookies. Most days I can make it through without falling back, but I have learned not to beat myself up and just start over again. You are right... I feel so much better. It would help if people didn't keep buying cookies.
ReplyDeleteThis hit home... I did that today... ate to get through my emotions... why can't I just get through my emotions. Thanks for these words... I needed them :)
ReplyDeleteShew...I can sooooo relate. I'm not there yet but I certainly recognize it and that is the first step. And I don't have anything to "cope" with either. I am a happily married Christian empty nesting home maker. What do I have to "cope" with? I saw it in my late grandmother though. I call it low "coping skills" and I got it. Ugh. I just have to learn to look elsewhere for comfort...Jesus. :)
ReplyDeleteI love how you put into words what so many of us are feeling.
ReplyDeleteYou say it so well girlfriend.
I won't stop trying to do this, and that's a good thing. . .I'm printing this blog, and will read it when I feel like DQ. . . you are such an inspiration Jaymee. . .thanks
Oh, my gosh! I have known that I eat when I am happy, sad, down in the dumps, whatever. Knowing when I eat was not the problem...your description nails it on the head!I'll eat and feel better for the spilt second the food in in my mouth and then I feel stuffed, AND whatever the reason I did it in the first place is STILL there. Thank you. I think I just cleared my first hurdle.
ReplyDeleteI finally have all the ingreds for teriyaki meatballs. Mmmmmm, tomorrow's supper. Thanks for the great recipe!
ReplyDeleteI"m very glad you didn't get hurt in the incident.
ReplyDeleteI heard you sometimes when I look at cheese and say to myself no processed food. It's been 8 days....you remember counting them too right?
I'm still tired but I know eventually I'll get there.
Julie
This is good, GOOD stuff! I needed it: THANKS!! I'm trying to lose this baby belly...soooo tired of it. And I collapse and eat when I'm tired or lonely or have too much to do. You are so right. I need to look beyond those emotions, beyond the food.
ReplyDeleteI've been "almost off" of wheat for a few months now as I try to pinpoint possible reactions to foods. Anyway, I can honestly say that I don't crave foods at all anymore. Not chips, not brownies, not bread... nothing. My allergies don't seem better (of course I'm not completely off of wheat) but I do have more energy than I'd had in years. All of this was inspired by the book "Primal Blueprint." I've also lost weight as an added benefit. Just thought I'd put the info out there. I'd be interested to hear your opinion on the book.
ReplyDelete