Restless in Indiana

It's happening again.

I'm all restless up in here.

It happened this time last year too....

It's the worst symptom of ADHD I have.

I'm as restless as a worm on a hot brick.

So I'm told.

I used to think it was anxiety - but come to find out that anxiety is based in fear - the definition being -

 A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.

That's not me - in fact it might be better if I did worry about uncertain outcomes a bit more!

Restlessness -

Marked by a lack of quiet, repose, or rest

So what do I do when I get like this?

I used to eat.

Now - I struggle not to eat - and I go to the library.

On today's agenda -

Plan the rest of my life.

But then it was a nice sunny day - and I can't plan important things on those kinds of days.

Nay - I need a good gloomy, stormy day for life planning.

I'm even laughing as I type it!

I just wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I used to want to be an actress or a forest ranger.

I still want a DNR shirt - I have a patch fetish.

And if I were a DNR agent?

I could SO tell people to tidy up their campsites, with authority.

Until I figure it out - I reckon I'll tend birds, grow things, vacuum, make tinctures and ointments and spill my guts on the Interweb.

I keep thinking there's something more out there for me to do - and I'm missing it.

Oh!  and before I take my leave - I'll say that this camping trip was the best ever.

As in - I enjoyed myself.

Some of the best hiking ever.

I rode a flipping horse (not the pony in the picture)

I conquered the fear.

You should have seen the horse person (what do you call them?) when I asked for a lame or near death horse.

I rode Bubbles.

She was nice.

I almost fainted once - and nearly vomited a few times, but all in all - it was good.

My bee stung hand calmed down enough to hold the strings.  They are strings - you can call them reins - but they are strings.

Controlling a large animal with a string? 

See - that's what starts scaring me.

And then the teeth - and the eyes - and the sheer strength of an animal that size, that given the right opportunity would run like the wind -

OK - I have to stop - I'm getting faint again.

Back to life planning....

What did you want to be when you grew up?