It's happening again.
I'm all restless up in here.
It happened this time last year too....
It's the worst symptom of ADHD I have.
I'm as restless as a worm on a hot brick.
So I'm told.
I used to think it was anxiety - but come to find out that anxiety is based in fear - the definition being -
A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
That's not me - in fact it might be better if I did worry about uncertain outcomes a bit more!
Marked by a lack of quiet, repose, or rest
So what do I do when I get like this?
I used to eat.
Now - I struggle not to eat - and I go to the library.
On today's agenda -
Plan the rest of my life.
But then it was a nice sunny day - and I can't plan important things on those kinds of days.
Nay - I need a good gloomy, stormy day for life planning.
I'm even laughing as I type it!
I just wish I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I used to want to be an actress or a forest ranger.
I still want a DNR shirt - I have a patch fetish.
And if I were a DNR agent?
I could SO tell people to tidy up their campsites, with authority.
Until I figure it out - I reckon I'll tend birds, grow things, vacuum, make tinctures and ointments and spill my guts on the Interweb.
I keep thinking there's something more out there for me to do - and I'm missing it.
Oh! and before I take my leave - I'll say that this camping trip was the best ever.
As in - I enjoyed myself.
Some of the best hiking ever.
I rode a flipping horse (not the pony in the picture)
I conquered the fear.
You should have seen the horse person (what do you call them?) when I asked for a lame or near death horse.
I rode Bubbles.
She was nice.
I almost fainted once - and nearly vomited a few times, but all in all - it was good.
My bee stung hand calmed down enough to hold the strings. They are strings - you can call them reins - but they are strings.
Controlling a large animal with a string?
See - that's what starts scaring me.
And then the teeth - and the eyes - and the sheer strength of an animal that size, that given the right opportunity would run like the wind -
OK - I have to stop - I'm getting faint again.
Back to life planning....
What did you want to be when you grew up?