Today's been tough so far.
I'm ready to gnaw the bark off of a tree.
I'm not hungry - don't get me wrong - I'm craving - something sweet.
Why? Well cause.
Cause I'm frustrated.
Cause my little VW that was running great yesterday is not running great today.
Cause I need waders to tend the chickens.
Cause all of my tomato seeds have germinated and I didn't get the grow light situation set up in time, and now I worry that they are too spindly, and won't recover.
Cause my printer is giving me fits.
Cause I have my period.
Cause people won't act like I want them to.
So, nothing would calm the ole CoopKeeper's nerves like a nice Pecan Mudslide, or perhaps a few pounds of Bridge Mix.
I made a cup of tea today and thought 'screw it, I'm putting honey in it."
I put a teaspoon of honey in it - and then promptly went to the sink and dumped it all, rinsed the cup and started over.
I got out the BBQ sauce to put on my pork roast.
Then put it back in the fridge.
I'm determined to make it 30 days without any sugar.
I even bought myself a gift to celebrate my milestone of 30 days sober.
I can't wear it for 12 more days.
I can't live a happy life with sugar.
I LOVE these Alex and Ani bracelets.
A blog reader got me turned on to them when she (thanks Nancy!) sent me one for my birthday.
The three values that the bracelet I ordered myself are 'courage' 'appreciation' and 'choice'.
I thought seemed appropriate.
I plan on getting one for every milestone - one month, six months, one year.
You might wonder why I'm torturing myself - well - it's just that I flat out can't stand the thought of something controlling me - of me not being able to control myself.
It's utter nonsense.
I'm reaping wonderful benefits of being sugar free.
My mind is sharp.
The bloating is gone.
I'm dropping pounds.
And most importantly - I feel like I'm the boss of me.
I loved what Anne Lamott said in her last Facebook post -
The way I get off sugar is to stop eating it! I eat lots of protein, fats, veggies, salad with delicious dressings, an apple, pear, some berries. The first 3 days are hard. The willingness comes from the pain: if you have made yourself sufficiently sick and full of shame on sugar, well--who know? You may be ready...or getting there.
Before I close for today, I just wanted to show you yet another awesome birthday gift I received from a reader - Pam in GA.
Would you look at that purse!?
I adore it.
Thank you so much.
There was also so many other sweet things tucked in the box with that purse.
Pam braved a snowstorm in Atlanta to get it to me too.
Don't forget to add your name to the hat for the giveaway.
I'll announce the winner on Monday.
I feel better now that I've blogged.
I know you are all rooting for me - so I shan't darken the door at DQ today.