I just wanted to pop in and update y'all -
thank you so much for your concern, support and advice!
I've been taking the Effexor again, and well - all is well.
Does this mean I need it, or does this mean that I was just going through a horrible withdrawal?
I think it was the withdrawal.
Get off of it - see how I feel - I am literally going to take one tiny grain out the capsule daily - the second day two, the third three, etc...until finally in about 50 days I'm taking one minuscule grain, and then hopefully I'm done. I've been feeling rather ambivalent of late, and I'm thinking that it's the Effexor. I truly don't know what to do at this point.
Glenco wants me off of it. Aaron claims I was more fun off of it. Many of my friends see a remarkable difference in me, saying I'm sitting still and being focused for the first time.
Other friends worry about the toxicity of chemicals, as I do too.
Let's talk about turkeys.
Behold the power of Playtex! The chilled, wet, under the weather poult is fine.
However, something - not sure what did get one of the turkey babies.
And then there were three.
Picked up two - week old Rhode Island Reds at the feed store. That was all that was left, and they just looked so lonely and homeless....
Finally processed the seven gallons of sour cherries we picked.
Made juice, cherry fruit roll ups, and jam.
Anyhow...this is my thought for the day. Actually, there was a point to this post - but I did want to update you and thank you...
As I lie in bed the other night, in a sleepless, sweaty stupor - I began to think about a lot of things.
How profound things seem at 1:11am.
I began to think about rejection, fear, lack - all really fear based when you think of it.
I started to think - what if I lived completely free of these things. How would I be different?
What if I decided I would live in abundant love, free from the fear of lack or rejection?
What if I didn't care if someone loved me or liked me? Is it really any of my business what they think of me?
I say nay.
It was right then that I decided that I would love with everything I had - and not worry about it being returned in the same amount, or returned at all.
It was right there that I decided I'd wave and smile to everyone I meet - try to make eye contact and not give a hoot if I got a smile back.
It was right there on that Beautyrest mattress at 1:21 am on an average weekday morning - that I realized that I had nothing to fear - that God, life and the Universe itself was extravagantly, ridiculously, almost embarrassingly abundant.
How dare I think, and yet worse talk and act differently.
This fact of abundance is played out daily in all of it's glory here on these few acres.
One hen - giving me 300ish eggs a year.
The spewing of maple seeds every spring.
The rapid multiplication of bees in the hives.
One pumpkin, thrown on the compost pile.
It's a beautiful thing.