I'm back in my own coop, with no idea how to begin to tell you what a fantastic time I had whilst at the Fox House.
House is the wrong word.
With a capital 'H'.
I found out in the lick of time that I was actually going to Illinois, not Indiana.
Funny how completely unprepared I am for road trips, with not a care in the world.
The wind here on Sunday was indescribable.
I've read that pioneer women have gone insane living out on the prairie, listening to the howling wind.
I'm wishing I had that excuse for my insanity.
Alas - I do not.
With Shirley Bassey blasting, and a full supply of water bottles, I set out on the open road to meet a gal that I've only known via the Interweb.
It was a ridiculous 81 degrees out with a wind so strong blowing in from the Gulf, I swore I smelled crawdads.
Right in the middle of a rousing rendition of Goldfinger - whilst talking to Janie on the phone letting her know my ETA - I had a blow out.
No...not that kind.
My tire exploded.
As I'm posting this now, I wish I had a picture of the tire to show you - but it's really the last thing I thought of when I was on the side of I-57 with a flat. The wind was so strong I could barely open the Heep door. When I did step outside, the wind almost blew my glasses off, and my shirt went over my head...
Shirtless - and yet - no one came to my aid.
I got in the car and started to cry.
I'm embarrassed to tell you that - but I did.
And then - I sucked it up - and thought about how I'd just told Glenco that I wanted to learn how to work on cars - and that I wanted to take our 1964 Chevy down to the frame and restore it - and learn how to do body work and fix things in the engine.
So then - I put on some lip gloss - and dabbed my Clinique Happy cologne on and set out to fix the flat. If there's one life truth that I know for sure it's this:
Lip gloss is empowering.
I've never changed a tire before.
Got the lug nuts off - jacked up the car as far as I could - got the flat tire off, got the spare out - but couldn't get the Heep jacked up enough to slip the spare on.
All the while - I have on no glasses - (I'm blind) and my shirt is over my head.
I tried in vain to get the car jacked up higher.
Luckily, I was close enough to Janie's house that she dispatched her son-in-laws to my aid.
I'm determined to learn how to do it myself, and perhaps I'll have Glen start timing me.
I liked getting my hands dirty - and I'm really looking forward to learning how to do body work.
Glenco says I'm invading his man space.
I can't imagine what Janie thought when I showed up - dirty, sweaty and a windblown mess.
I think I have a pretty good feel for people - and I'm so happy to say - I was right.
She's a gem.
In fact - I'm moving to Southern Illinois and I'm going to be her full time gardener and confidante.
We are negotiating my salary as I type this.
Glen will drive a grain truck for her husband.
And I'll sleeve a cow yet - by golly.