Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Hangin' with my Homegirl Helen



People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,
she's a warm blooded chicken who'll love me til the end.
People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,
she's my one fowl, my cuddly girl, my up, my down, my pride and joy.
(from Courtship of Eddie's Father)

Helen is loving the house. Eating cornbread and veggies, scratch grain and mash, she's thinking she's died and gone to the big coop in the sky.

She 'hangs' with me. She fusses a little when I leave the room.

She might miss her friends, just a little.

After trying to keep her on papers, and the mess of all that, I decided to throw down and make a diaper. Go to YouTube and search 'chicken diaper'. The lady that shows you how to make a chicken diaper, makes me look as normal as the cashier at Piggly Wiggly, or the homeless lady pushing the Piggly Wiggly basket on Main Street...one or the other, you take your pick.

Helen's quite cocky in it.


Work it Helen.
Just like that.

Helen...Helen...HELEN!
Please don't watch Jerry Springer.
Ohhhhh...you were looking for Oprah.


Helen thinks she's on vacation, but she's really here for some rehabilitation.
Or as we like to call it 'Wii-habilitation'.

Here she is doing the advance step.



Shhhh...quiet. Now she is doing Lotus Focus.
She must remain perfectly still.


Ok...all joking aside. Here's the lowdown on the diaper.
IF you find yourself in a position where you've run out of your psych meds and you want a chicken in the house, you are going to need one of these.

I have a feeling Helen's inside days are numbered. She's getting much better.
I want to fatten her up a bit.
The diaper works great, but changing it.
Sweet mother....
I gagged.
I dry heaved.
I almost put her back in the coop.



Thanks to all of you wonderful people today for your awesome comments. Don't' forget to scroll down and read Aaron's review of PW's Onion Strings, and then scroll on down from that to read a reallllly long post about weight loss.

Goodnight!


36 comments:

  1. Oh my, is there really a chicken diaper making video on YouTube? Was there more than one video to choose from? Jayme, this post made me laugh out loud....even though I know chicken diapering is actually serious business.....and I hate it when I run out of my psych meds. Say hi to Miss Helen for me.

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  2. Oh good grief...you need to put a warning at the top of your post that drinking anything while reading is done at your own risk.

    I spewed my water all over the screen. Yes I did.

    Helen in lotus position will eternally be my favorite picture of her EVAH.

    The dipa? You is brave. Very brave. Is she still limping? How's her eye doing?

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  3. I can't stop laughing! This is just too much..............Love it!

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  4. I can't believe there's a video on how to make a diaper for your chicken. I've heard the girls out there cackling all wanting what Helen's got.
    Now, I can sleep. This was too funny. I'm very proud of your weight loss determination and Aaron's recipe is one my Alex is ready to try, but I'll work the knife until I feel he won't cut off his sister's ear.

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  5. OMG. Too funny. You might have a bit of trouble getting Helen to accept the coop after this. Also, something tells me I'll be humming that theme song for a couple of days. Thanks again for the laugh.

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  6. A chicken in a diaper? I don't believe it. Have to check out YouTube.
    Maggie

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  7. The tune brought back some good memories, for sure! Helen will have great stories to cackle about once she gets back in with her peeps. Stories of "the big house" which will likely get greater and greater the more she tells them. Chickens are like people that way, don'cha think?

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  8. Jayme, I don't even know what to say. I love my chickens and all and they have even come into the house on occasion (usually by some rougue child who was sneaking one in), but I just can't go the diaper way. Just can't.

    Helen is just adorable though and I love Farmgirl Cyn's comment abou the big house. I know the other gals will be so jealous.

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  9. So I can easily say I've seen everything now!

    I really need a chicken coop. Sigh.

    ~Andrea~

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  10. after singing the "Eddie's Father" song i laughed until i CRIED about the diaper. and then those comments under the photos. Jaymes, write a book. it'd sell, girl.

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  11. Jayme. Girl. I'm almost speechless. There are other people out there in the world that would consider putting a diaper on their feathered friends? I'm trying to figure out how it even occurred to you to do that particular search. I can't help but wonder where you go from here!

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  12. Great photos - but changing chicken diapers must involve washing chicken cheeks??? Not for me, my dear!

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  13. Helen emailed me earlier. She is not pleased that you posted about her wearing a diaper - with pictures no less. She said if you want to post about weight loss and pictures on a scale that's your business, but you've crossed the line.
    Besides she said she never agreed to diapers. You promised her underoos.

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  14. Ohhhhhh Nooooooo.

    I need some Helen in my life.

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  15. Awww...she looks so cute in her diaper! :) Yes, I bet changing it would be miserable. Too funny!!! Give little Miss Helen a big hug and kiss for me!!

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  16. Jayme, I want to tell you we have a nickname for our cocker spaniel Ben. It's Poopy Pants. It's not because he poops in the house (well, rarely. We have even called our Grandsons Poopy Pants when they were little but that was because they were Poopy Pants. Have you ever thought of re-naming Helen???

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  17. Jayme ~
    You gave me the heads up...told me about the chicken diaper. You're right, some comical photos indeed.
    I really think I must check out the youtube video.
    I like to bring one of he ladies in once in a while. Albeit briefly, we have been lucky without a dropping.
    Happy to see Helen enjoying the creature comforts of the tv and the Wii.
    ~Andrea in NH

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  18. Jayme.. you are awesome.. who would have thought to actually make a 'chick pewpie catcher'?.. next thing ya know they'll be selling these to 'chicks' all over the world.. in hot new styles and it'll be the latest fashion.

    Girl.. Coco has nothing over you!

    I love the recent post on your '4 pounds of lard'.. and congrats!!!


    Great photos.. hubs thinks I'm a nut as I've got to check every morning just what Helen is up to.

    with love,
    ~Olivia

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  19. Okay, I'm new here, but had to comment - This is a riot!! (But apparently that diaper is really the trick.) Can't wait to read more!

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  20. Came over from Snappy Di. She knows I'm thinking about becoming a chicken farmer. (just a few chickens, really) Great stuff. I love Helen. I'll be back.

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  21. Jayme, too funny! I'm worried though, seems Helen would be too cold going back outside after enjoying the heat of the house. She may need a coat. Terry

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  22. I am almost positive hubby would consider it a "Deal Breaker" if I brought one of our chickens in the house and put a diaper on it. But I'm going to try it anyway!
    Sweet post
    Dana
    the Redneck Junkers~

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  23. That is the cutest darn chicken I ever did see!

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  24. I loved your post!! I am Shannan's mother and am an animal lover too. I too name all my friend's with people names too...what else would you name them?? Helen is a doll,I would love to meet her and shake her wing.

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  25. I loved Helen!! I am Shannan's Mom, and she told me about your blog. I would love to meet Helen and shake her wing!!

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  26. Helen is such a hoot...
    and so are you! Thanks for making my day yet again :) -Tammy

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  27. What an amazing chicken. I am surprise she does not pull those diapers off. Love the photo of her with the ceramic chicken.

    Hope she gets well soon.

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  28. Oh my I laughed so hard. Girl you are soooo funny! Helen looks so fashionable in her chicken diaper. I had no idea one existed but then I am not a keeper of chickens. Namaste Helen.
    Donna

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  29. Thank you all for your awesome fun comments!! Helen is still in the house, for now. Trying to fatten her up some before I take her back out. I've still been fighting this cold...hope to have something blogged by tomorrow.

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  30. Oh Jayme,
    Helen is too cute in her diaper! I am not sure I could get my girls to cooperate so I could put one on them. Congrats on your weight loss. Thanks for dropping by Cackleberry!
    Blessings,
    Lorilee

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  31. omg! i am screaming while i read this. i can't tell my husband about this diaper, or he'll have his favorite bantum, Millie, in here for good. your blog is a hoot...keep it comin'

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  32. GIRL, you are a SMILE! I love your blog. Thanks for stopping by mine. I have not laughed like this in a long time.
    LOVED IT!!
    Rhonda

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