Hangin' with my Homegirl Helen

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,

she's a warm blooded chicken who'll love me til the end.

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend,

she's my one fowl, my cuddly girl, my up, my down, my pride and joy.

(from Courtship of Eddie's Father)

Helen is loving the house. Eating cornbread and veggies, scratch grain and mash, she's thinking she's died and gone to the big coop in the sky.

She 'hangs' with me. She fusses a little when I leave the room.

She might miss her friends, just a little.

After trying to keep her on papers, and the mess of all that, I decided to throw down and make a diaper. Go to YouTube and search 'chicken diaper'. The lady that shows you how to make a chicken diaper, makes me look as normal as the cashier at Piggly Wiggly, or the homeless lady pushing the Piggly Wiggly basket on Main Street...one or the other, you take your pick.

Helen's quite cocky in it.

Work it Helen.

Just like that.

Helen...Helen...HELEN!

Please don't watch Jerry Springer.

Ohhhhh...you were looking for Oprah.

Helen thinks she's on vacation, but she's really here for some rehabilitation.

Or as we like to call it 'Wii-habilitation'.

Here she is doing the advance step.

Shhhh...quiet. Now she is doing Lotus Focus.

She must remain perfectly still.

Ok...all joking aside. Here's the lowdown on the diaper.

IF you find yourself in a position where you've run out of your psych meds and you want a chicken in the house, you are going to need one of these.

I have a feeling Helen's inside days are numbered. She's getting much better.

I want to fatten her up a bit.

The diaper works great, but changing it.

Sweet mother....

I gagged.

I dry heaved.

I almost put her back in the coop.

Thanks to all of you wonderful people today for your awesome comments. Don't' forget to scroll down and read Aaron's review of PW's Onion Strings, and then scroll on down from that to read a reallllly long post about weight loss.

Goodnight!