Monday, January 25, 2010

Ree & Me




Have you ever heard of Ree Drummond, The Pioneer Woman?

I thought so.

Did you know that I live a parallel life to this woman?

I didn't think so.

It's true.

We have so many similarities, you will be shocked.

We both homeschool.

We both love to cook.

She has cow poop on her porch, I have chicken poop on mine.

We both have mentally handicapped siblings.

We both have red hair. Well, mine is red more often than not.

We both left the 'city' for the 'country'.

We both love Starbucks.

We both have blogs.

I have been doing Ethel Merman imitations since I was 20, and technically, since I'm older than she is, I've been doing them longer.

Our birthdays are both in January. *Mines tomorrow - you still have time to FedEx me gifts*

We've both done big remodels to areas that company comes and stays in. Sure, hers is a little more grand, you know The Lodge....mine is The Squirrel.
I'm going to start giving away weekends to come and stay in The Squirrel.

Ok, so I haven't written a New York Times bestselling cookbook, but give me some time.
Ok, so I haven't toured the country signing that book either....but I'd be happy to meet you anywhere and sign any book that you have.

You know how she did her hotel reviews on her blog? I thought I would do that today. I'll review the last hotel I stayed in. It was a few years ago....2006 I believe. Indianapolis......ahhh....I remember it like it was yesterday.

Aaron and I were taking part in the Indianapolis Wild Zoo Ride. It's an organized bicycle ride that tours the city of Indianapolis. You do a lap around the Indianapolis 500 Speedway, and end up back at the Indianapolis Zoo. We'd planned on doing the 40 mile route.

Thinking I'd make an adventure out of it, we decided to head down to Indianapolis the night before. We loaded up our bikes, our bike shorts and headed out. My sister decided to go along for the ride. Now, ya'll remember that I'm not even sure where I live, let alone where Indianapolis is in relation to where I live? Just so we are straight, I can't find my way out of a paper bag....got it? We headed south on I65, cause that is where Indianapolis is right? Right. I just figured we'd drive down there, find a nice little cheap, clean motel, have a nice little dinner and get a good nights sleep before our ride.

Ahem.

We found Indianapolis. We found a hotel/motel. The Dollar Inn. It was $60 a night, and that is all I felt that I needed to spend for a place to sleep that night. When in the world did it become so expensive to sleep somewhere? I've always camped where ever I went.....even camped for ten days in Florida....so I like think you should spend no more than $20 to sleep somewhere.......

We pulled into to the parking lot...and well, it didn't look TOO good, but I didn't think it could be so bad.

Here's a bit of advice for all you travelers. If there is a sign that says 'No refunds after 15 minutes' hanging in the lobby, and a bullet proof glass that you pay through....you really might want to re-think your choice of accommodations.

We went to the room. Oh. My. Goodness. Gracious. It looked like a scene from CSI Miami. Where was the chalkline of the body? Was that blood on the ceiling? Aaron was freaking out. We locked our bikes to the TV, since it was bolted down. I kept trying to make the best of it, saying...ok, we are just sleeping here......but I realized I wouldn't sleep a wink there.




I forgot socks. Did I tell you that? Yep. No socks. You really don't want to ride your bike 40 miles without socks. We ventured out of the hotel looking for a Wal-Mart, or anywhere I could find socks. We decided to grab something to eat while we were out. We picked up some burgers, went back to the hotel, and as we were driving back to the hotel, I announced to my sister and Aaron, that I didn't care that I was losing the money, we weren't staying at this hotel. I said 'Let's get back there, eat, and get the H E double toothpicks outta there'. Never did find socks by the way.

As we were sitting on the beds eating our burgers and fries, we heard a loud muffled sound coming from the parking lot. Now, this is one of those little motel situations where you are parked right in front of your room. So, I look out the window, only to see that the car parked next to mine is now in flames, right in front of our room. Aaron gets hysterical. I asked my sister to go out and move my car, and I calmed Aaron down. I unlocked the bikes, he carried our bags out of the car and we left the now smoke filled room.


Oh, it gets better.

Now the hotel is on fire. The flames reached the upstairs balcony.

I was sure I could get my money back now, even though it's been more than fifteen minutes!


We are completely blocked in the parking lot by police cars and fire trucks.

I began to laugh.

Hysterically.

Tears running down my face, can't breath laughing.

Only me...honest to God, would this happen to.

Finally, things calm down, and I go to the office to get my refund.

There was quite a language barrier, but after some time of refusing another room, saying over and over....I want my money back, I got it.

We then drove around aimlessly in circles looking for another hotel.

About 2am we finally found something that I was willing to pay for ($100 was my limit) and that I felt safe in.

We were at the starting line at 8am, half awake, sickly tired, and sockless.
We opted for the 17 mile route.



Despite our fatigue, we had a good time, and riding our bikes on the Speedway was super cool.


My lessons learned from this fiasco?

Mapquest.com
Hotels.com

Amen.

47 comments:

  1. Um...that was quite the adventure Jayme! My hubby would never let me out of the house on my own again! Cripey!!!

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  2. Well, happy birthday one day early. I have a similar story from about 2 years ago....visiting my son in Charlotte, NC when he was in college. Although my story involves the guy in the next room and a couple of ladies of the night and someone trying to break into my room (by that time I had moved all of the furniture in front of the door) etc etc etc. My hubby had a fit....I was trying to be frugal....never again!!!

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  3. OMG I had to share your motel story with my husband. I am killing myself laughing, been there done that. Not quite to that extent however. We went to a motel in Albuquerque and there were three double bolt locks on the door. We were told to back our car in so no one could see we were from Canada. It could not catch fire because it was made out of bricks. They also advised us that we should not open the door for anyone except the police. It was a Best Western in the nice part (or so we thought) of the City.

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  4. I can't believe I have not heard this story before, I'm dying laughing, it's 9:20 and I'm laughing out loud with hubby still sleeping from midnight shift. Your a scream, poor Aaron, I know you guys howl laughing when you talk about it now. The pics were hysterical, scary but to much! What a good story and a good preface to the story. I have been there as well. Happy Birthday Sweetheart alittle early. Love ya, Me

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  5. Jayme, that was quite the motel review! We've stayed in some dives in the past (being the cheapskate farm folk we are), but thankfully nothing quite that scary. yet. Love those pictures of Aaron. The look on his face says it all - 'it was worth every scary moment!' Happy birthday tomorrow!! -Tammy

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  6. This is hysterical! Almost as good as a chicken with a diaper! No wonder you don't stay in hotels often.

    I just bought Ree Drummond's book for MY birthday - last week. Yes, a gift to myself. And I always celebrate for a week. Hope you do, too! Happy birthday all week long!

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  7. hi jayme,

    oh my gosh! i was hootin' and hollerin' over that story! unbelievable! and you got pictures! funny, funny altho not funny at the time. i have no story even close altho i have stayed at more dives than i care to think about! thanx for the story! have a greaaat day!

    love ya,

    peggy

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  8. Oh my! What a story!
    Dont worry ~ once you are on the book tour it will only be five star hotels and resorts for you:)

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  9. Jayme, you have just turned my what started out as a grumpy day into a pleasant beginning. I was warned it was a hoot and thought I'd wait till I was in a better mood but being a nosy old lady I had to read it. I would of loved being a mouse in your pocket because I know it was way more than you could put into words. Sometimes that "savings" isn't quite worth it. Remind me to tell you my story when I drove back from Ca. all by myself. I can laugh now but I wasn't laughing then. Great post and a good laugh is always uplifting!

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  10. LOL!!! But seriously, I glad you guys were not hurt.
    I think I once stayed in a hotel, someplace in Chicago, that rivals this one. NO fires, but I think they rented out by the hour. We were so tired from driving all night we really weren't paying attention and we were just trying to find something we could afford... this was like during our first month or two out of college and we were young and broke and stupid!

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  11. Your life should be a movie.

    I know the best director...

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  12. Oh, Jayme! NO one can do a motel review QUITE like yours! We traveled from WV to Maine a few years ago. Just across the Conn. state line we found a place because we were tired. When we'd barely gotten to our room and started hearing sirens blowing and then police cars pulling in the parking lot we should have done just what you did...gotten our money back! Thanks for the chuckle today! Hope you have a wonderful birthday tomorrow!

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  13. Happy Birthday week.
    A 21 Moo salute from my herd to you~!

    Love the hotel review and I would love to come stay at the Squirrel.

    www.tailgait.blogspot.com

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  14. Peaking in at your blog for the first time and you are a hoot. A fire in the hotel/motel...if you were Bree your would have been given a full week free after that incident. I am off to scroll thur you blog which I have a feeling is quite funny. I'll be back.
    Joyce

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  15. Thanks for letting me start my week with another good laugh!
    I am never travelling with you.
    The end.
    ~Andrea~

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  16. Okay, well next time you can come stay with me. That story is almost unbelievable, except who could make that crap up?

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  17. Seedy Motel Room in Indianapolis - $60.
    Riding Bike without socks for 17 miles - blisters and smelly sneakers
    Re-enacting Nero as Seedy Motel burns -
    PRICELESS!

    What a great memory. Aaron will be telling that story to his grandchildren!

    I would have been laughing right along side you.

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  18. What a story!!! Good Grief. My sweet grandmother always said, You either gotta laugh...or cry.. WE LAUGH! Just between you and me, my sister...there's a fine line between maniacal laughing hysteria, and frugalicious insanity! Do we know it ....or WHAT?! You got me laughing today. I scrubbed down and mopped my kitchen and Master bath. Just can't get it down to your timing yet. Got three vehicles vacuumed and washed Saturday right before the downpour from Heaven came rolling in on Sunday...oh well...I got it done! (meaning marked off the LIST!) TaDa. Thanks for the giggles. Have a great day. See you tomorrow! By the way, Ree just can't even come close to topping that story me thinks! LOL

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  19. Wow! I don't think I'll go travelling with you anytime soon, but I would stay in the Squirrel!

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  20. One thing about you, you never have a dull day! We booked a motel 6 on line (sight unseen) when we went to DC on vacation. Amy was 15 at time...it was in a terrible part of town and we were feeling very scared to stay. All of a sudden she spot a booger on the wall and we nearly trampled each other getting out of there! Even then I was a "budget minded" person but I didn't care what the H E double toothpicks it cost to get a clean room!

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  21. Oh my I have been in a few places like that. My husband and I used to pull RV's out of Indiana to different places across the country.
    Indianapolis speedway how cool.
    Great post love you and Pioneer Womans blogs.

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  22. You are so funny! I love this post. And Happy Birthday. You are a January baby like me.

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  23. Holy cow! No wonder your bought the squirrel and don't like to stay in hotels. After an experience like that, I'd stay away from them, too.
    Wishing you a beautiful Birthday tomorrow, filled with lots of love and laughter.

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  24. First, thanks for this post. I needed a smile and a reminder that my day to day life isn't all that chaotic.

    We have some in common too. I homeschool, love coffee, am in the country, and have a blog ;) I don't love to cook but I love to eat. HA

    Have a blessed birthday.

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  25. Happy birthday, and that story was HILARIOUS! sheesh!

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  26. What an adventure. You sure aren't timid!
    My birthday is this week too.
    Hope you have a great birthday tomorrow. You deserve it after what you've been through. LOL.

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  27. Uh, I think I'll be driving to Chicago.

    Totally cracking up over the hotel going up in flames. That area around the speedway can be a bit rough. Obviously.

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  28. Your Canadian FriendJanuary 25, 2010 at 3:39 PM

    And tell Glenn to buy you a GPS for your birthday, would ya! I think it would be some dollars well spent! And remind me that if we take a trip together someday, I'll take care of the hotel reservations m'kay?

    Happy Birthday for tomorrow :)

    Chris

    xoxo

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  29. Oh.my.goodness.

    What a story!

    Did you know that Ree and I are BFF? She just doesn't comment on my blog becuase I asked her too. I didn't want everyone reading just because of Ree.

    I would come and stay in the camper anytime!

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  30. Okay, I rarely laugh out loud while reading a blog, but that was priceless. Hysterical. Jayme, that was an awesome story. I'm so glad you took pictures. It had to be seen to be believed.

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  31. Goodness! I thought perhaps this was a chapter for a new book you were writing! How amazingly comical! Glad you got your money back - this could be the start of a 'best seller' novel for you!!!

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  32. And I thought I had the only "can you believe this?" Hotel stories! My best one by far was when with Pastor Sue and Joan and my van was stolen from the parking lot...dear Lord that was a time! Happy Birthday Jayme! Celebrate!

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  33. OMG that was ridiculously funny! ROTF!! The photos really did the story justice, too ;-)

    This is karma because tomorrow is also MY birthday ;-)

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELLOW AQUARIAN AND CHICKEN MAMA!!

    I got myself some new flock additions as a bday present to myselt, I'll post pics tomorrow!

    technodoll.blogspot.com

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  34. Here are early Happy Birthday wishes! Hope you have a wonderful day! You lead a very exciting life! This all has to go in your book (photos too.) Maybe a whole chapter?

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  35. Everyone here has gathered around me because I've laughed so hard I'm gasping for air and my husband thought I was having a heart attack.
    Jayme, you are just too funny. We have a story about the same except in the middle of the night the neighbors started cooking meth, they broke down our door thinking it was us and that was the last time I stayed at a motel 6. It's worth every penny to sleep in the van.:)
    Happy Birthday....

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  36. OMG! That was so flipping hilarious! Well, at least *now* it is....

    I am laughing so hard my eyes are leaking....

    Ahhh, you sure you don't want to be a comedian? I'll pay! :)

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  37. Before i forget . . . Happy Birthday!!! That was a hysterical story. You always have me laughing here. You tell your stories so well I can just picture it. This would only happen to you!!!!!!!!!!

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  38. We have to be long lost sisters, cuz I thought those types of things happen only to me.

    You make me feel better about myself. :)

    PS Nice photo with Ree.

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  39. Have a Happy Happy Birthday Jayme..mine was on the 24th.

    Only an Aquarius could go through something like this..it is like we attract trouble.

    I hope that you get whatever it is that you want on your special day.

    Time to start writing that book Jayme....as my nephew would say..seriously!!

    Love,
    Mirjana

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  40. For the record, I think your motel stay was a lot more interesting than PW's reviews! Too funny!

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  41. Very funny !! We have one thing in common ...I can't find my way out of a paper bag either...but I am determined to work on that this year..I mean really..how hard can it be? Next time ..take the squirrel...

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  42. I know what you mean about having events happen when you travel! I was at a teachers conference and at 3 o'clock in the morning the fire alarm went off and people started screaming and running down the halls. I was on the 12th floor and sad to say I wear my birthday suit to sleep in( I was by myself and the hot flashes are really bad sometimes) I jumped up, not quite realizing where I was and grabbed my coat. My coat is very short and parts of me were showing that I don't show anyone except my hubby ( he is legally blind without his glasses so I know he can't really "see" me) to see. Well I was bending over trying to hide myself and we were outside for 2 hours. The next morning I heard people talking about that lady that was naked under her coat....oh my stars it was me!!!!

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  43. Next time you're going to a new city, post it on your blog,,, I could have helped you find a safer place to stay in Indy on the cheap! Sorry for your experience. Hope you'll come back for a better experience!

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  44. What a funny story about your worst experience in a motel. You are so funny. Your life is funny. And, you are a funny writer. Loved this blog post.

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  45. Jayme, I was laughing out loud over this story! I got to go tell Larry! Love you, Sandy

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  46. I love your postings. Great reading for a snowy day in Central Missouri.
    I too love PW, here's my story: http://osagebluffquilter.blogspot.com/2009/12/its-done-deal_22.html
    I'm gonna have to find some old pictures of me too, including my glamour shot for my b-day post tomorrow.
    Keep those stories coming . .
    Patti

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