As I sit here now typing - I'm on my front porch.
Taking the last tepid sips of my Twinings English Breakfast tea - listening to the birds, enjoying a cool breeze, and waiting for Aaron to rouse from the camper.
I have to take him back to Chicago today by 11.
He's assisting with a photo shoot at the school.
Happy for him, sad for me.
We'd planned on going to the Chicago Botanic Garden today.
I'm all thinky inside.
My period is now five days late - so either I'm preggers or menopausal.
I'm sharing old pics today, just cause I haven't the time to pad about and take photos at the moment.
I'm so thankful and grateful that my pap smear came back normal, and I find my heart breaking for those that don't get the good news when the phone rings at times.
I'm utterly filled to overflowing with gratitude for my life right now.
I'm grateful that I'm finally starting to live in a place where I'm kind to myself,
as kind to myself as I am to others.
I see the beauty in myself, as I do others.
I'm my best friend.
It's so very clear to me now, on this early August morning.
So many life lessons can be found in the garden.
This is what I realized this morning.
When I look out the back door - and look over the garden - it's glorious. It's full, it's colorful - it's really beautiful.
There are flowers to cut, smell, or just enjoy -
There are fruits and veggies that feed me, the bugs and birds.
There is abundance.
But - if I look too closely - with a critical eye - there are weeds, there are bug bitten leaves, there are areas that need some loving. There are things planted in places that make me think "What the heck were you thinking?" There's the attitude or thought that 'it could be better - I could try harder - I could spend more money'.
If I'm not careful - I will concentrate on those areas and miss out on the beauty of the rest.
As short as summer is here in NW Indiana?
A pox upon me if I do it.
How often do we do that in our own lives?
I still scold myself for the 20 lbs that I should have lost - forgetting I've lost over a hundred.
I still scold myself for dust balls under the bed, instead of thinking I'm pretty great for making the bed everyday.
I still scold myself for choices and behaviors from the past - when there is absolutely nothing to be done about them, only to learn from them.
It's just human nature I think - but we can change if we apply ourselves.
And sisters, don't you know - it's our human nature to even make that work.
We'll make a list of all the things we want to change about ourselves, and try to figure out how we can struggle to do so.
The number one, biggest thing that has changed me from the inside out?