I thought posting yesterday would give me some clarity.
Well, it didn't.
Ha!
I loved all of your advice and opinions though.
Been mulling it over, and it's approximately 2 hours before the face to face meeting.
This I know for sure.
The job will have to be as flexible as Nadia Comaneci for me to take it.
It's not about the money AT ALL.
It's not about 'having something to do' AT ALL.
Lord knows I could use more of the first, and have plenty of the second.
It's this.
I have struggled with my weight my entire life.
Down inside, I know there is a fit person, and that is who I really am.
For me - working at the gym would be a catalyst to realize that dream.
Yes, I've lost over 100 lbs.
Yes, I look great.
BUT -
Now, I'm not being unrealistic, nor do I have a body image disorder - it's not about how I look at all - really, it isn't.
It's about being true to myself.
It's about honoring that dream of being fit.
It's about saying 'Jayme, you did it. You said you'd do it, and you did'.
It's about keeping my word to myself.
I feel like I've been lounging in the pool of ambivalence, and it's not a comfortable place for me to be, although the drinks are divine.
There are some dreams that we need help fulfilling.
I need help with this one.
I feel that I need a personal trainer - someone to push me harder than I'm willing to push myself.
In my mind's eye - I imagine starting work at 5:30 - working my shift - then working out with a trainer, showering, sauna, and come home.
It sounds like a win win.
SO - within a few hours I should know if I'm taking it.
The flexible hours will be the deal breaker.
I shan't give up my Mondays with Aaron.
I shan't be willing to work all weekend.
I need to be able to take unlimited vacation time without pay if I want it.
So you see...this would have to be a really special situation.
Thanks so much for all of your input, opinions, encouragement and thought provoking comments!
I would love it if you would take a few minutes to watch this inspiring video!
Nadia was so awesome back in the day. Can't wait to see videos of you doing those same moves. winkety wink wink
ReplyDeleteThis - or Something Better -
ReplyDeleteBe Happy My Friend!
thank you for the video.
-g-
If it's meant to be it will all work out. Good luck!
ReplyDeletePraying for the Lord to open or close this door. It's His opinion that really matters, anyway. Love you!!
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWhat's your gut telling you?
Do that.
Pray and ask GOD where he is leading you. I have no doubt you can help others if this is your desire. GOD knows we need more people willing to help others and you have be there and still fighting it. The fight never stops, we just need more people to keep letting us know we are loved, worth fighting for so do what you can to feel all of that. Keep GOD first and HE will direct your path.
ReplyDeleteJayme....I know what you are saying. We have dreams..Then we have the dreams we need to work toward. Sounds as if you want your inner body and outer body to meet up. So the gym thing sounds best...exercise helps clear our minds and take some stress away. Blessings. xoxo,Susie
ReplyDeleteLive your dream . . . thank you for the inspirational video!
ReplyDeleteJust catching up and I can't wait to hear what happened- xo Diana
ReplyDeleteWishing you a Super Great Friday!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for posting this video!
I'm sharing it on Facebook....as some of
my family members have been struggling
with "Living Life" and these words spoken
might be just what they need!!
Thanks Jayme!!
Thanks for sharing that video.
ReplyDeleteJust what this rainy morning needed!
Kelly
Rooting for a day that unfolded just as you needed it to Jayme.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Barbra.
(now 'THAT' was a video to be reckoned with - worth a few more replays!)
looking forward to hearing your decision. You're blessed to have the choice.
ReplyDeleteI just read this and your last post and i also know what you are going through. After being at home with my kids for many years, I now need to help out financially due to some medical and college bills. I have worked at several jobs over the past few years, the last at the library. Loved it - but I had to work every other weekend, all weekend. So I left that to work at a school as a teacher's aide in the special ed. room. I hate getting up in the morning, but I'm being paid a good hourly wage and yeah! - summers off. You might consider it if the gym job doesn't work out.
ReplyDeleteI was just at Shan's blog where I cried like a baby because my own babies no longer are sad when they leave me for school or any other events. And then I come here, and I cry, because I am so happy for you and your 100 pound weight loss. And also because I hate myself and don't know why I can't be as dedicated as you.
ReplyDeleteI hope that the job works out perfectly if that is what you want. Wishing you all the best. Love, Becky