It's a weird day outside.
It's nearly June and the heat is running.
I thought a weird story was fitting.
Once upon a time - I promised Aaron the Boychild that I would take him to the Body World Exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry in Chicago.
Photos of said exhibit shall be interspersed in this text -
be ye forewarned.
I can't quite remember - but I think this was 2007?
The night before, I met up with a few of my gal pals - affectionately known as 'The Ya's"
Now - these girls like their wine - and so do I, but I really don't consider myself a drinker - in fact - I think it was this past December, the last time I had an alcoholic drink.
At the time, I was doing Weight Watchers.
I knew that they would all be enjoying wine, and that I really wouldn't be able to partake, but I wanted in on the fun - so I bought two tiny little bottles of Spiced Rum - you know the airplane sized ones?
I had all my WW points counted out - as I poured it into my Diet Coke.
Well, they seemed to be having a lot more fun than I was - so I had some wine.
See - you can tell I'm not a drinker - I didn't know you weren't supposed to mix the two.
It was about 3am when I woke up at my friend Aisha's house - I might have been vomiting.
Maybe, a little.
Glen came and picked me up - now get this -
G-Diddy - is awakened by a phone call in the wee hours of the morning that his wife is in no shape to drive and needs a ride home.
He comes and gets me.
He is laughing as he's trying to help me walk - and telling me how cute I look.
When the alarm went off the next morning, signaling me that it was time to get ready to go to Chicago, I was mortified.
I do not believe I have ever been that sick.
There was no way in heck I was going to disappoint Aaron, and I got ready, all the while, having a bucket nearby.
I rode in the passenger seat in the fetal position with a bucket.
We get to the museum, and I have no idea how I'm going to walk in.
We are standing in this large crowd of people, in this maze of red velvet ropes, waiting for the exhibit to open so we can file in.
I was going down.
I was now sitting on the floor.
I managed to get up and get to the bathroom - where they had a large marble slab to sit on.
The coolness was such a relief.
I mustered up the strength to leave, and found a security guard.
I told him how ill I was and that I needed a wheelchair.
Are you laughing yet!?
I was so sick.
Aaron, bless his heart - was so worried about me and was doting over me.
He was now pushing me into the crowded Body World exhibit in a wheelchair.
As we bumped into the heels of the people in front of us, they would turn around sharply at first, and then give me a look of pity.
All I could think of was how guilty I felt - realizing that these people probably thought I had MS or cancer -
but all I had was a hangover.
I ask you, are these the images you would like to see when you are on the verge of vomiting?
I thought not.
That day went down in history as one of the worst days of my life.
I was on the verge of vomiting the entire time while I was pushed around the museum looking at petrified body parts, ala Dr. Frankenstein.
Don't mix your spirits my friends.