I thought for sure - with no doubt about it - that I would fail miserably at my 'three day Internet-free Sabbatical'.
Thursday night - I was sitting in the living room with my so called 'beloved laptop' and had it open on my lap as I was watching TV with Glenco, enjoying the warmth it provided.
He'd oft look over at me, only to see my eyes on the computer screen, and hear tapping.
He asked several times if I was interested in what we were watching.
I would answer with an enthusiastic yes.
And close the lap top.
And five minutes later, I'd try to sneak it back open and wonder why the screen had to be so bright that Glenny would notice that I yet again was checking email.
And then for one single second - it felt wrong.
It felt unfaithful.
Why couldn't I even sit and watch a TV show with my husband?
And then I remembered my fix at the Super 8 Motel parking lot whilst camping.
It was like meeting my wi-fi junkie.
And then I remembered my recent habit of leaving the laptop open on the kitchen island so that every time I pass it I would check emails/comments/blogs. And the sad thing was - I wasn't answering any of my emails. It overwhelmed me. I was just collecting them. And in some sick way, I wanted more. And then a sweet lady sent me a blog award, and I accidentally deleted the email - and now how rude she must think me, never even acknowledging it. (I hope you are reading this - I'm so sorry!) Being rude is one of my worst fears. I would NEVER want someone to think that I would purposely be rude to them. I really wanted to respond to every comment I would get, realizing it was impossible, it would stress me out so much.
And then I remembered when I got stung on the neck by a bee on Thursday and felt that everyone needed to know, so I posted it on Facebook.
It was in that moment, Thursday night when I realized I was a bit out of control.
I shut her down.
I closed the laptop after posting my 'Soul Searching' post and pulled the plug.
With the warmth of the laptop still soaking in my legs - I felt like I was sure to fail.
Friday morning I woke up. I was a bit uneasy as I drank my coffee without my laptop.
I then decided to sit with a piece of paper and meditate about the things in my life that were important to me, and find out where the Internet ranked.
It ranked # 12.
It was then that I realized that I was giving my best time and effort to #12.
But #12 ya'll. #12.
I didn't miss the computer. Not only did I not miss it, I felt I had an aversion to it. I felt alive and focused and happy and in control. I felt so mentally uncluttered!
I talked to my friends - on the phone.
I didn't feel the need to Facebook the fact that my cat was sick on Sunday and I had to shampoo carpets and strip and wash the bedding.
And guess what - I bet my friends didn't miss reading that.
By Saturday night I was convinced that I was disconnecting the Internet from my home, and going to take little scooter rides to Panera Bread to answer emails and blog once a week.
It felt so - peaceful.
By Sunday night I'd decided not to blog anymore.
It felt so self centered and overwhelming to me.
This morning I logged back on, and read my comments, and laughed, and realized that I did miss ya'll.
And then I realized that you DO need to know the day the pot arrives, don't you?
Amazon.com emailed me that it's been shipped.
The preparation begins.
I'm giving myself an hour a day on the computer for now.
That's a lot of time when you think about it.
What if -
You exercised an hour a day?
Helped a neighbor out an hour a day?
Spent an hour a day having meaningful conversation with your spouse or a friend in need?
Prayed an hour a day?
Cooked an hour a day?
Read a book an hour a day?
Cleaned an hour a day?
So - to give #12 an hour of my time a day - I'm being very generous to #12.
Very generous indeed.