Monday, October 11, 2010

#12



I thought for sure - with no doubt about it - that I would fail miserably at my 'three day Internet-free Sabbatical'.

Thursday night - I was sitting in the living room with my so called 'beloved laptop' and had it open on my lap as I was watching TV with Glenco, enjoying the warmth it provided.

He'd oft look over at me, only to see my eyes on the computer screen, and hear tapping.
He asked several times if I was interested in what we were watching.
I would answer with an enthusiastic yes.
And close the lap top.
And five minutes later, I'd try to sneak it back open and wonder why the screen had to be so bright that Glenny would notice that I yet again was checking email.

And then for one single second - it felt wrong.
It felt unfaithful.
Why couldn't I even sit and watch a TV show with my husband?

And then I remembered my fix at the Super 8 Motel parking lot whilst camping.
It was like meeting my wi-fi junkie.

And then I remembered my recent habit of leaving the laptop open on the kitchen island so that every time I pass it I would check emails/comments/blogs.  And the sad thing was - I wasn't answering any of my emails.  It overwhelmed me.  I was just collecting them.  And in some sick way, I wanted more.  And then a sweet lady sent me a blog award, and I accidentally deleted the email - and now how rude she must think me, never even acknowledging it.  (I hope you are reading this - I'm so sorry!)  Being rude is one of my worst fears.  I would NEVER want someone to think that I would purposely be rude to them.  I really wanted to respond to every comment I would get, realizing it was impossible, it would stress me out so much.

And then I remembered when I got stung on the neck by a bee on Thursday and felt that everyone needed to know, so I posted it on Facebook.

Law.



It was in that moment, Thursday night when I realized I was a bit out of control.
I shut her down.
I closed the laptop after posting my 'Soul Searching' post and pulled the plug.
With the warmth of the laptop still soaking in my legs - I felt like I was sure to fail.

Friday morning I woke up.  I was a bit uneasy as I drank my coffee without my laptop.
I then decided to sit with a piece of paper and meditate about the things in my life that were important to me, and find out where the Internet ranked.

It ranked # 12.

It was then that I realized that I was giving my best time and effort to #12.
Not #1-10.
But #12 ya'll.  #12.

Law, indeed.



Guess what?
I didn't miss the computer.  Not only did I not miss it, I felt I had an aversion to it.  I felt alive and focused and happy and in control. I felt so mentally uncluttered!
I talked to my friends - on the phone.
The phone.

I didn't feel the need to Facebook the fact that my cat was sick on Sunday and I had to shampoo carpets and strip and wash the bedding.

And guess what - I bet my friends didn't miss reading that.

By Saturday night I was convinced that I was disconnecting the Internet from my home, and going to take little scooter rides to Panera Bread to answer emails and blog once a week.
It felt so - peaceful.

By Sunday night I'd decided not to blog anymore.
It felt so self centered and overwhelming to me.

This morning I logged back on, and read my comments, and laughed, and realized that I did miss ya'll.
And then I realized that you DO need to know the day the pot arrives, don't you?
Amazon.com emailed me that it's been shipped.
The preparation begins.



I'm giving myself an hour a day on the computer for now.
That's a lot of time when you think about it.
What if -
You exercised an hour a day?
Helped a neighbor out an hour a day?
Spent an hour a day having meaningful conversation with your spouse or a friend in need?
Prayed an hour a day?
Cooked an hour a day?
Read a book an hour a day?
Cleaned an hour a day?




So - to give #12 an hour of my time a day - I'm being very generous to #12.
Very generous indeed.

44 comments:

  1. Thank you for sharing you problem. I have been experiencing the same problem with with checking facebook a thousand times a day. It has been keeping me from getting a lot done during the day. The hardest part is that my computer is right there in the kitchen, constantly logged on. I do use it during the day for good stuff like listening to back shows of Joyce Meyer or praise music on Pandora radio. I think setting a limit is perfect. The boys have been getting into me about why do I have no limit and yet they do. They certainly have a valid point. Thanks again for the inspiration! And yes, we do TOTALLY need to know when you get your pot! lol

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  2. I am so glad you took time to reflect on your time with the
    internet and blog.
    The blog world would seem empty
    without you in it!
    But you must do what's best for YOU! I enjoy your blog so much!

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  3. You continue to be a blessing with your honest and meaningful insight, Jayme dear.

    You've given me much to consider myself.

    Love ya!
    Dianna

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  4. Balance feels good,doesn't it. My husband pointed out the same thing in my life that you just said about yours. I hated that he noticed...I knew it was true. Real life was being neglected...Friendships were being shortchanged...Intimacy with loved ones was nearly non-existant. I'm glad you decided to keep writing. I hope you find the balance your looking for. I'd miss you. Patty

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  5. I love you...i really do!

    I'm painting my laundry room. Possibly for the second time in 2 days. Imagine what I could have done with the time it took to paint the first two coats if I'd have just picked out the right color first! I should have done more internet research!

    1 hr. a day is generous!

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  6. It is hard (very hard) to find a balance. I don't feel that I have yet, but you have given me lots to think about. Can't wait to see all the things you will cook in that pot!

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  7. Jayme, great post. A dilemma so many in our culture are dealing with. Myself included! Facebook, e-mail, My Space, Twitter and blogging are wonderful outlets but not to replace the more important things in our life, yet to enhance those :) Good advice lady!
    Amy

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  8. I'ds sure miss you if you decided to pack it all up and unplug. You are my letter from a friend that I look forward to reading, you make me smile and I like knowing what you had for dinner...cause I have about run out of ideas after 40 years of fixing dinner. It's a different world we live in now. People use the computer and social networks to stay in touch, to share our lives...just like we did with a letter years ago.

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  9. You know what....you have inspired me. I am going to do some soul searching and come up with a schedule. Thanks for sharing this!

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  10. Great post Jayme! I think a lot of us are guilty of the same thing - I know I am. I only want to log on and "check a few things" and before you know it an hour (or more) has passed. I am going to think hard about what you have said and see where the internet ranks on my list...

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  11. Jayme...You hit the proverbial nail right on the head. I have decided that I either need to do this early in the morning before MyHero is awake or late at night after he is sleeping. I feel the internet intrusion into my day also. Great post from a great gal. I have decided that I will do more of the Magazine Mockery posts which are quick to do and gives most people a smile for the day and then do the longer posts when the time is available. My orginal mission was to give family and friends a smile. And, I don't have to have a 20 picture post to do that. You are a smart cookie, my blogging friend! Hugs to you-Diana

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  12. Great thoughts, Jayme.
    We went on a foliage ride yesterday up to the White Mountains. Spent the majority of our time at a country fair. Went on a deep woods backroad ride, did a short hike to a beautiful cascading waterfall, saw two moose crossing the road, and then went out to dinner at our favorite restaurant.
    I had no cell service the entire time, thus no checking for texts, email, or seeing what was going on on Facebook.
    I wanted to do something memorable for 10/10/10.
    We sure did ~ we were unplugged and had a fantastic day.
    Moving forward, I agree ~ we could all spend a little more time unplugged.

    ~Andrea in NH

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  13. All I want to know is where vacuuming hits on the list. I'm guessing top three at least.
    You are such a smart cookie, Jayme....if my internet or cable is out - or heaven forbid both - I'm a lost puppy during that morning coffee. Now you've got me wondering what my own list would look like. I think I'm scared to find out.

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  14. I love this post! I only started blogging a few weeks ago, and at first I was determined to have a new post each and every day. Although I still want to be consistent, I have found that letting go a little and realizing that some days I may have more important things to do - like spend time with my husband and family. Realizing that I need to be a keeper of the home like I am always talking about, and do some laundry/clean some floors/organize our home. It is actually quite liberating! Thanks again for the post! Have a blessed day!
    AFG-
    Megan Jenelle @
    A Blossoming Homestead

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  15. Oh! I think I might join you in limiting it to an hour a day.

    I realized I was getting addicted to going grocery shopping, so limited my trips to 2x a week...

    Two times a week...seriously. There are only two of us...and we don't eat THAT much.

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  16. Good on ya. Chris and I have been talking about practical boundaries with media since you and I talked on the tele.

    I'm still floundering abit, but getting more clarity each day.

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  17. I am glad you didn't decide to give up blogging. I know exactly what you mean about it being addictive. I think you have a fantastic plan and I may have to borrow it myself.

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  18. You have such wonderful insight and are fun, to boot. I have all but given up on Facebook and have begin to limit my blogging time each day as well. Blessings..and thanks for answering my chicken questions last week.

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  19. Love that it's #12 and hope you find way more time for 1-11!!! :-) Don't quit us tho - we need your laughs n words of wisdom... I found myself thinking the other day that the 3 biggest goals I had could all be accomplished in the coming week - IF I focused on ONLY them (they all include family so I'm not too selfish)... They are all active hobbies much better for my soul n body than web time, so WHY IS IT SO HARD? My (horse)business has been booming lately too (I am blessed) and I really shouldn't be near the Mac so much. I will remember you when I'm wanting to meet up with my junkie! ;-P
    hugs,
    Leslie

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  20. What if the Internets had ranked #53 on your list? Wouldn't that be stinking awesome? Or maybe a little ominous?

    And wouldn't it be even worse if I'm remembering wrong altogether and it's not number 53?

    Law.

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  21. I just wanted to say that I just discovered your blog last week....and it took me three days to read it from start to finish! Lord it made me want to buy the house next door and move in just so that we could be neighbors!!! I am in Auburn, IN so I love reading about all the Indiana happenings! Thank you so much for making my day..and please don't stop now that I have just found you! I love blogs but do not have one myself..maybe I will try. We have so much in common that reading parts of your blog made me think about my own family! Can't wait for the next installment!!! Thanks Jayme!

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  22. OMG...we are soooo alike, it is scary! I do the very same thing to my hubby at night when watchin tv, I try telling him that the computer is keeping my legs warm.....but he catches me every time checking emails and blogs! He gets so frustrated! I was so proud of myself and annouced it during lunch today that I had not been on the computer all day, until now! I just couldn't stand it any more....I had to check to see if anyone was blogging or reading my blog.....I know, I know, I need help!

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  23. Oooh Girl, I know what you mean!
    I don't even have a facebook for that very reason! My blog is it!
    I blog 1 to 2 times a week and allow myself one hour a day to read, reply, post coments ect....The rest of my time is for the family, friends, work, chores ect....
    Now lets get real. Sometimes it works that way and sometimes it Don't! But the reality is I try hard to keep it all in check.
    Just promise us all that your not gonna leave us all cold turkey! I can't take the thought of it!
    Tisha.....

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  24. thank God you posted your pumpkin sheet cake recipe before you up and left and all!! I made it yesterday and I am eatin' it as I type!! And not only that, but two friends have already made it too and love it!!! That ol' Internets is good for something!! :)

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  25. I am glad you decided to just give the blogging less time and not quit altogether. I do enjoy reading your blog. Some days you inspire me like today. I did not post for a month and got a ton more done but I still read quite a few friends posts. I think I should set a timer and follow your example. My problem is that I cannot seem to finish a post within an hour. Just getting the pictures where I want them has been a trail lately. Love ya Jayme have a great week and I hope you get as much done as you hope to.

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  26. Well I for one LOVE reading about sheet changing and carpet shampooing!
    Matter of fact that is what 90% of my blog is all about.

    www.calicochickens.blogspot.com

    Glad your back and I like reading about another woman who's life is a little bit like mine here in rural Iowa!

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  27. All in moderation. And if I keep saying this, maybe I'll actually believe it and practice what I preach. The internet is addicting, but we could be addicted to worse substances than our computers.

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  28. marytylermotorheadOctober 11, 2010 at 3:19 PM

    Priorities. Thanks, I'm logging off now. Party pooper. No, seriously. I am logging off now...:)

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  29. I just found you for pete's sake, but, the message of the last couple posts are timely and appreciated. I am taking your wisdom to heart. I'm going to go feed my chickens now. And plant those pots that have been sitting there for weeks. Thanks, Jayme.
    Annie
    adayinthegarden@comcast.net

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  30. Oh please don't give up blogging. Your posts are my favorite. We too are dependent on the internet. I honestly don't think I could go a day without the computer. Sad,,,,
    we don't even take up our winter spot until we got get our modem from beamspeed first. I am not a phone talker I would rather email. I draw the line at jokes though. I like getting news from people, not jokes.

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  31. Law - I can relate!

    Hey Missy - what's the first thing you're going to cook in that fancy pot?

    BTW - I've been thinking about the term law. My grandmother and her sisters used that term. If I remember correctly it's a shorthand term for "Lordy"..
    Lordy
    Lord
    Law

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  32. Oh, Jayme, you had me worried when you said you were giving up blogging! Yes, one hour a day is very generous for Item 12 on your list.

    I think I figured out why we all love you so. You are us. You are the part of us that worries about someone thinking we were intentionally rude ...the part of us that worries NO ONE will want to read what we have to say ...the part that flits from one project/task to another because, well, we want it all! You are the mother in us who agonizes over letting our children grow up and go out into the world ...gasp ...with US! When you said you met your Internet Junkie ...well, that was me reading about myself. Me and my junkie are well acquainted and we have turf wars over my time every day.

    I hope you find your comfortable balance and I hope it includes time for blogging because you really (REALLY) do mean a lot to so many of us. After all, TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY-THREE Followers can't be wrong!!

    : )

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  33. Don't be so hard on yourself. One of your hens has to work 12 days to fill a carton of eggs.

    And - since 12 eggs are in a carton and you're the coope keeper, doesn't 12 seem like a fitting number?

    I like #12!

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  34. Excellent decision, Jayme! I know how you feel.
    I started my blog as a journal and I feel it turning into a blog tiger with me being jerked around. I've even thought of turning off comments, but that seems rather drastic.

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  35. You go girl. I love hearing the chain of thought you had and how you are "treating" the problem. How very vulnerable you are...we all need to think about how much time we are giving these cyber relationships, huh?

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  36. Jayme, if it was considered a cult by following you...I think we'd all do it. Ha. You are so funny and loved.
    This was a great post too. I giggled more than I have in awhile...needed that. Thanks!!

    We are in Indiana and I think I've driven over most of the central area just looking over all the farms up here. We are prayerfully considering moving here...so you know, we may get to meet sooner than later.

    Make your hour each day on #12 count! I can't just do it for an hour. But it's a start. Ha.

    ((hugs))

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  37. I want to tell you that I enjoy your blog so much. Don't leave.
    Anyway, I am back to tell you how I have helped my perimenopause symptoms....progesterone cream...do some research on it and see if it won't help you with the hot flashes. It is a little pricey but the tube has lasted me 3 months so far and there is more in the tube. It only takes a pea size amount to do the trick. I was totally amazed.
    No, I have no connection with a company....just found something that worked and want to tell the world about it. Well, the coop keeper's world anyway. Let us know if you try it and if it works for you...I don't want anyone else to have to go through the flooding periods and extended periods I had. It isn't necessary.
    I got mine at a local health food store. Just a mom and pop store, not a chain. B.

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  38. I know how you feel, but I'm glad you're back!1
    I've been trying to cut back too ( on reading blogs, as we all know I don't post much!!), and it really feels good!!
    Enjoy the other 23 hours of your day!!

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  39. Oh, and it stopped the hot flashes too as a bonus. B.

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  40. Oh, and it stopped the hot flashes too as a bonus. B.

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  41. Good points my dear... all 12 of them ;-)

    It's hard to juggle all of life's demands with our own little sweet addictions - even if we had more hours in our day it would never be solved.

    Must make priorities stick, dat's all.

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  42. You are just one of the smartest ladies ever...wise beyond your years!

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