photo from simplesapien.com
It's come to my attention that my blogger account has been hacked! Apparently some crazy lady posted here yesterday about giving up plastic and Ziploc bags of all things!
Sheesh.
Ok, I admit it. It was me. I'm feeling more confident about the plastic wrap, but the Ziploc? I use them, re-use them. Isn't that good enough?
I don't know.
I'm going to be all over the board here tonight, cause I'm PMSn' big time.
I feel a $50 Amazon.com card a comin' on Wednesday.
I just ate a small bowl of pretzels.
I didn't work out today.
I'm quite discombulated.
Aaron asked me if I will start making my own 'feminine products'.
Smart alec!
Right now my mind is on overload.
Should I become a vegetarian?
Should I just buy local meat?
Should I just go get a job and forget this whole thing?
It's not the time of the month for any type of decision!
I took down all the Christmas decorations.
Just inside.
I'm sorry.
I tried to keep them up.
I know I've got a lot on my mind when I start dreaming things like this:
About 20 people were here to commit mass suicide. They were going to drink some cough syrup looking liquid. They were all excited about it. I kept trying to talk them out of it, and when they wouldn't listen, I became very angry and began to say things like:
"Who's gonna clean up all these bodies?"
"Heck if it's gonna be me!"
"I'm calling the police!"
The other night, well, let me start by saying the other day...I found.....
'old lady skin'
In my cleavage.
It's only when I move a certain way, but it's there. Oh it's there.
I keep seeing tans, gold chains and acrylic fingernails smoking cigarettes.
I keep thinking about old ladies that live in Florida.
I'm convinced that it's from sleeping on my side. Since finding the aforementioned old lady skin, I've been trying to sleep, unsuccessfully, on my back.
I end up on my side, stuffing blankets between my breasts to keep them apart.
I dreamt that I invented a bra that you sleep in that keeps your breasts apart, with a soft lump. It was scented like lavender to help you sleep.
I called it:
The Bosom Buddy
I'm not kidding.
I was on QVC.
I got six books out of the library yesterday and read them all.
The Pleasure of Keeping Chickens, and some other fowl care book.
Martha Stewart's Cupcake Book (why do I insist on torturing myself?)
Two books on making rag rugs. I think it's akin to building a flux capacitor.
But this is the book that shined, that fed my soul:
Made from Scratch, Discovering the Pleasures of a Handmade Life
by Jenna Woginrich
What I wanted to say tonight was this: I need to quiet 'myself' as much as I need to quiet my 'life'. Perhaps a quiet life is BORN of a quiet soul. If that's the case, then I'm screwed.
I've already thought of flaws in my plans.
Buying nothing new?
I desperately wanted a new hoe. Not just any hoe..but the Amish hoe from Lehmans. Sigh.
I'm going to begin keeping bees this spring. I'll need bee keepin' stuff.
I really wanted to get Photoshop Elements.
I'll cross those bridges when I get there.
My plans of not leaving the house but once a week?
What about Garden Club meetings once a month? What about the fact that we have some six inches of snow out there and Aaron and I will want to cross country ski or go sledding tomorrow? What about the days I just want to go thrifting?
Am I being to rigid?
It's not going to be easy.
It's going to change everything.
I'm sticking with my plan though.
I'm seeing clearly that 'things' are 'time'.
How long does it take you to earn the money to buy that 'thing'?
Start looking at things in terms of hours instead of dollars.
I'm going to stop here for the night...I don't think I'll make much sense
Monday morning amendment: Well, I'm feeling much better this morning! Note to self: do not post anything when your a hot mess of hormones. I just wanted to add that I'm not doing this 'without plastic wrap' thing because of the money...it's really because I want to be LESS of a consumer.
Jayme, I don't think you should expect so much of yourself. The buy nothing new plan sounds like a good idea, but I would not be able to do it myself. I've decided to try and get things at thrift stores whenever possible, but certain things will just have to be bought new. Our garden is still a work in progress and there are things that need to be purchased for that. Same as the house... I will try to not rush into things and do them as money and time allows. I guess everybody has to figure out what works for them and what doesn't... Wishing you the best of luck on your journey!
ReplyDelete1) ROFLMAO!!!! (and I wish LMAO was possible)
ReplyDelete2)The other person who sees your boobs will not care if there is a wrinkle in between.
3) I love Lehman's.
4) When I feel like you do, I usually rearrange all of the furniture. It helps.
I didn't post yesterday because I was in awe. I could never do any of those things. We do stay home more than we used to. We seldom go out to eat. We do not go to the movies. I do not think I could ever give up plastic baggies, paper towel, or plastic wrap. I just cannot do it. You had me thinking of ways to help you...save my empty cereal bags for you to reuse. I even felt guilty of using the end of the roll of paper towels today while I was cleaning/organizing my cabinets. As for me, a little at a time works better than all at once. I hope things are clearer for you tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteOH and do not feel guilty about not working out today. If you go cross country skiing it is as much exercise as running:D
ReplyDeleteWell, for heavens sake! If THIS just did not make my day, I don't know what could! As for "The Bosom Buddy", maybe that was total inspiration! And...I just read "Made from Scratch" a few weeks ago! Jenna has a blog, ya know.
ReplyDeleteAnd remember, Rome wasn't built in a day, and old habits die hard.
You are way too funny!!!
P.S. I'd advise staying away from "Walden's Pond." Thoreau wrote fiction.
ReplyDeleteI have 'old lady skin'. Yes, I know it has to be a shock... but, it happens.. you can't fight it. I will turn 60 this year and decided that I will keep the skin for the rest of my earthly days.
ReplyDeleteIf I had only known about the bossom buddy!!
Kathy
baby steps. i was so sick of store bought mass produced meats i spent 6 months raising a pig and 3 days butchering it so i could enjoy the awesome taste of REAL meat. no chemicals, no hormones ect.. ans i rasie chickens and wish i knew somewhere local to butcher them. store bought food makes me gag anymore. i had to lay off the bread baking b4 i ate myself to an early grave. but you do inspire me. al says we are a bad influence on each other!!lmao! you do what you can honey, dont stres yourself. youve nobody to impress.
ReplyDeleteYou need to market that "Bosom Buddy" then you could afford plastic surgery for that.:)
ReplyDeleteI buy pork and beef from a lady that raises it and has it butchered. It's actually a little cheaper and the taste is wonderful. My grandaughter is 12 and has issues with hormones in the meat and that's what got me started buying homegrown.
I'm so excited about your keeping bees. I want to do that too but don't know anyone around that does that. My great grandfather's both kept bees and always had the best honey.
In a few days...this too shall pass.
Wow, Jayme,
ReplyDeleteyour brain is stuck on fast forward! Does that exist now with CD's instead of tapes? I like the idea of going basic and simple, but it is too hard to do it cold turkey. Try little steps! I have to keep paper towels for the doggy puddles, but I use cloth napkins much of the time. I seldom use paper plates or cups either. I would love to grow more food in my garden, I just don't have the time!
Oh,no, now you're getting me started!
Blessings,
Lorilee
Anke...you are right, I think I'm stuck in a bit of an 'all or nothing mode'.
ReplyDeleteJennifer...you crack me up! The furniture has been re-arranged, and I DO feel better!
Pieceful Bits, you are just too sweet.
Farmgirl Cyn...glad you like my humor. The Bosom Buddy dreamed cracked me up! Walden Pond...fiction? Say it ain't so.
Kathy! The Bosom Buddy could save countless numbers of women the shock and dismay I experienced the other day! Would you like to be an investor?
DaniRay...thanks sweetie. I'm getting pretty grossed out with store meat. I still have the sausage you gave me. Having a hard time with that...cause I SAW THAT PIG! LOL
Susan...next time I'm in 'town' :-D I'm going to the natural store and looking into buying local hormone free meat. The cost may be prohibitive, but I need to find out for sure, rather than just 'assuming'.
Lorilee....I do think I'll have to take this in little baby steps. It's overwhelming to try it all at once...plastic is EVERYWHERE!!!!
If you rearrange your kitchen and it doesn't work out, do you keep it that way cause you said you would? or move things again to be the best you can come up with at the time? See what I'm sayin?
ReplyDeleteEveryday, every circumstance has to be weighed and contemplated based AROUND your general plan. If you won't die or kill someone else or as long as your hair won't fall out if you change a part of your plan per circumstantial needs, take a big breath and do what's needed at the moment!! All this coming from the girl who can't keep a plan longer than 25 minutes. I am the exact and polar opposite of your resolve and organized plan/personality. I need more of you and maybe when you need to buy a baggie you could channel a little of me. Only channel a little bit tho or you'll soon be looking under a 6ft pile of laundry for your sanity.
You're a NUT.. heehee..
ReplyDeleteAnd welcome to the club of 'old lady skin'.. but you've got it in your boobies.. I've got it on my face.. hmmm.. boobies.. face.. boobies.. face.. I'll take the boobie skin please.
And you are forgiven in your wee 'mishap' of hormones.. and I can only wish my wee mishap was that short lived. Yikes.. it's that look that I get that sets folks a runnin' from me. Ah yes, the glow of menopause.. auuugh.
Nothing wrong about plastic nor giving it up. Now girlie girl sit down with Helen and talk chicken pewp 101 with her. She'll tell ya
1) ya need a hobby that you like doing
2) baking bread doesn't mean the sky is falling.. but it means you'll be feeding the needy at your local church at aids the homeless
3) organize your thoughts to what you want and list how to get it.
4) never discuss soup recipes with Helen
Love you lots and I love sharing your blog with others!!!!
~Olivia
ps.. you're going to be one clean hoe bag of pewp! heehee.. I can't wait for your birthday!!
Oh Jayme, the commenters are right. Don't make any decisions while PMS'ing. I know from experience!
ReplyDeleteOld lady skin! Love it. You make all the normal things of life seem more fun. We are all in this together.
I am going to look for this book at the library. And going to look for her blog too.
Jayme, you're such a delight to read!!! from old lady cleavage (is that when it's made of a bunch of tiny wrinkles and it's longer than in days gone by???) to conservation, you are a HOOT! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above posters ~ baby steps. I am not sure how much non-reusable plastic you do use but it is easy to reduce. I often stop and look at my husband when he takes the plastic wrap out of the drawer and watch to see what he plans on using it for. We have plenty of containers that will fit just about everything. In fact I think I only buy a roll of plastic wrap once every 18 months.
ReplyDeleteAs far as not buying anything new, you can make a list of exceptions. Things that go along with your sustainability can be an exception (like the hoe and the bee keeping stuff).
And you can certainly travel more than one day a week, just plan your needs and stops for the shopping day ~ you must still do your garden club, etc. Maybe you can ski or ride a bike there :)
First off I want to tell you that hormones are driving you, it's the voices in your head that are making the new rules so rigid. Determination+Hormones=Crazy! So I'm advising, in my best POST-menopausal Mom/Grandma voice that you take this a day at a time. Don't beat yourself up if you find a ziplock in the drawer and use it. Hey, re-use it. That is conservation. My Grandparents could have written the book on recycling and they didn't even know they were doing it. Saving money and the Earth all in one fell swoop, they were the epitome of the Green Movement. So, I give you permission to use the car if you need to, buy bee keeping supplies and even treat yourself to a Starbucks...we don't want anyone to go out of business because we are trying to be more Green do we???
ReplyDeleteSo, I make my own feminine hygene products...or I did, and have used them for years now. Premie sized cloth dipes :)
ReplyDeleteI've had old lady skin for a long time all over the place. Part of my genes. My face is now giving in. I've decided it's a waste of my time to try to look good....time always wins.
BTW, my daughter in law was asked to be 'Babs the Bra Fairy' at a high end store that makes bras for women having mastectomies or wear bigger than the average bear sizes. Quite funny as she's flat as a board. Maybe she'd relent and be your spokesperson?
I'm thinking that living a simple life is hard to define. I think it's as much an attitude as a list of do's and don't's KWIM? Hubby likes to say he lives 'an examined life'...meaning he does nothing, buys nothing, etc until he's consulted his conscience. He has found a good balance between rigidity and total 'freedom'. The simple act of *thinking* before acting on a whim, and I mean thinking thru the consequences of an action, helps guide him to better choices in living simply.
A funny: Chris has tried to teach the kids this same thing...think first. So when Sam was like 4 or so, Daddy took him to walmart and ended up in the toy section (surprise surprise). Sam found something or other he wanted...Chris began asking him stuff like "are you sure you'd like to spend your money on this little thing, or would you like to save it for a bigger thing later?" and that kind of thing. In exasperation, Sam finally interrupted and said, "Dad, let's not talk about it, let's just get it." Isn't that how we humans are??? I say the same thing to myself all the time....and yes, talking about it can sometimes lead to justification and excuses, but in our experience, that is rare.
I'm starting small, hopefully this week, by cooking simply...soups and salads. No meat. Lots of beans, a bit of cheese. Veggies. Water.
I'm all about swinging hard to one side when I'm making change, you know, to really get the pendulum going...but the problem is it just keeps swinging back and forth from one extreme to the other. Having grace for myself, for my humanity, expecting imperfections....that's the journey. There isn't a particular destination in living simply (or being skinny for that matter). It's the journey. It's living an examined life.
My, that was a lot of words.....
Ha hahahhahahah. You have just got me LAUGHING!!! There are days like this, my dear!!!! My grandmother (who by the way lived on a farm and never really wanted very much.) She loved her life, simple.... watching the animals, growing flowers, watching sheep capering across the meadow, seeing the Canadian geese come down skiing across the water on the pond, letting the doggie in the house when my Granddaddy was out and about in their vast acres of gardens and tending to the cattle. {:-o, I loved her, needless to say. She was and still remains one of my biggest role models. Oh where was I....oh yes, my Grandmother used to say ...."you either gotta laugh or cry about all this stuff coming at you in life, and I choose to laugh." And She Did. I want to be like that.
ReplyDeleteDon't Fret. It will ruin your present day! As you travel through the changes you want to make in your life and keep your eyes on those goals you have set out in front of you....NEVER forget this: As you move from point A to point B, it's not the arriving at point B that is the biggest goal and the most important...It's how you walked the day in and day out journey inbetween those two points that is the most important issue.
Don't strive too hard. Just take each day as it comes. Walk into it with a smile on your face, and walk out of it swinging at everything that gets in the way of finishing the day well...with that smile intact! Have a great day Jayme. Thanks for your posts. Love em. >PS I have found a few lackadaisical days on a diet do not damage the end product!! :-)
Less of a consumer...I hear you on that one, I want to go in a slightly different direction and be a eco-smart consumer...I've been reading the Ecoholic and am shocked, dismayed and disgusted about the chemicals in everything we buy...and I do mean everything.
ReplyDeleteMade from Scratch looks very interesting, I'll have to check my local library catalogue...thank God for libraries!
I received a bee keeping guide for Christmas, I don't have the amenities for chickens just yet so I thought I'd start with bees this spring and I'm determined to do it on my own, without the aid of my husband. We'll see!
Be well! ~Andrea~
OK...you are the greatest and always make me laugh. I mean that good old from the belly outloud laugh.
ReplyDeleteI think writing a book should be on your "to do list" and I know others would agree with me.
Since I retired, I am pleased to be less of a consumer and try to live more simply. It feels good.
Alright, already. Thoreau didn't write Walden's Pond as fiction....but that being said, I think he is highly over-rated!
ReplyDeleteJayme, I have not one bit of advice! :) But I was relieved to read this post....comforting to know I am not alone in my, uh, thinking!
ReplyDeleteJayme, I have not one bit of advice! :) But I was relieved to read this post....comforting to know I am not alone in my, uh, thinking!
ReplyDeleteOK Jayme...you're making me crazy!!! LOL! So consuming less....great idea. But, keep washing and reusing the zip locks....honestly! Reuse them several times and you are way ahead of the game!! Oh, and the good news is this....eventually the PMS goes away...but the old lady skin keeps appearing. It's a trade-off....nobody gets away from it, except through premature death...and that's no fun. Remember, this life is a wild ride....wear your old lady skin proudly...you worked hard for it! And remember, you are not alone....we are all going there together!!! Just keep laughing......
ReplyDeleteHugs to you (with arms that wiggle a little more than they used to!!!)
Bee Haven Bev
Hi Jayme,
ReplyDeleteYou are normal and that's what's good about reading your blog. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings Gail
Jayme, I did the "no more bags" thing but found them cheaper at the dollar store so I buy them again. As you get older and you will, things will constantly change within your mind. I blame it all on hormones for the most part and a small portion to getting wiser. Things that once mattered, don't all of a sudden and I am learning "less is more". I want simple as much as possible simply because I can't do as I once did.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, old lady skin is some kind of cruel reward for getting older. I've come to the conclusion I've earned every wrinkle, line and grey hair I have. So I try to do well with it most times. I do have my days so I understand where you're coming from. It's really the inside coming forth we're to focus on but you know how that goes. You'll be fine but try not to think when you're hormonal. :)
Interesting post, and interesting comments! You have lots of food for thought from your followers, don't you?? Great group of people!
ReplyDeleteBaby Girl,
ReplyDeleteI love the blog from the book, you'll love it too, have to get the book, I went on borders.com and you can even read some of the book there, she has a new one coming out in 2010. Borders has so many theme related topics. I'm still stuck on the amish way of living. Sorry, no ol lady boob skin yet but as I tell my daughter all the time....it's comin for ya. Hang in there and use your progesterone cream woman. hugs and kisses, Ra
I think I have the best readers in the world! I've gone over your comments about three times now, reading and re-reading each one. Thanks for bringing me back to reality. :-)
ReplyDeleteOk, last night while laying in bed I totally thought of the old lady cleavage. It was our 17th wedding anniversary so that didn't help. Not that the wedding anniversary wasn't great but just that my girlfriends are not what they use to be. Gravity is not a good thing! You are a hoot, I enjoy following you and your life.
ReplyDeleteJayme,
ReplyDeleteI just discovered your blog when I jumped over from Flower Patch Farmgirl.
Anyway, I'd buy your "Bosom Buddy" if you marketed it on QVC. I thought I was the only one shoving a pillow between 'em at night. My Granny (whom my Mom claimed I got my boobs from) made sure her "last wishes" would be followed and she would be buried in her bra so that she would not have to spend eternity with her boobs under her arms.
As for Thoreau, I read somewhere a little known fact that his mother actually did his laundry for him while he lived On Walden Pond. Nothing is as it appears, is it?
You seem like such an absolutely cool person - one that is real. That is becoming a more difficult trait to find, so embrace it with all its crazy, PMSy mood swings.
Can't wait to continue to read your blog regularly. It's like I've been reacquainted with a long-lost friend.
Your new reader,
Natalie