This, That and the Other Thang

Again, I find myself hacked by a hormonal woman talking about no Christmas presents!

Good Lord.

: -)

So let it be written, so let it be done.

I'm about ready to fly out the door here, but wanted to stop in real quick like and let you know I just slapped 12 more bottles of serum up on Etsy.

I'm clean out of the chicken charms, so I lowered the price on them even a bit more.

The charms are on their way from Taiwan I do believe, it takes a while.

I'm heading out to the fabric store to get some apron fabric.  I hope to have more aprons by the middle of next week.  I will only promise this if in fact I have my Merry Christmas tree up and lit by then.

19 days til Christmas and there's nary a holiday bauble in my house.

But - there are no pumpkins.

Amen.

I have to work at 'The Pier' (Pier One) today from noon to three.

I have to remember to take my allergy meds before I go!

I'm giggling at a three hour shift - but at least it motivates me to put on makeup today.

I haven't worked there in two weeks, I hope I remember how to run the register.

Woe unto the impatient woman that get me today!

I'm still hankering hard over a pencil skirt.

I pick up my contact lenses this afternoon too.

I haven't worn them for 14 years and I imagine there's going to be a LOT of blinking going on - since I ordered the rigid gas permeable.

Makes my eyes water to think about it!

I'll be 50 in 52 days.

I've got a doozy of a way I'm ringing in the big five oh.

I'll tell ya all about it -

tomorrah.

And the last nugget of wisdom I impart to you today -

If you ever decide to 'make up' a healthy Italian Turkey Minestrone soup recipe, and think that it's a good idea to put cannellini beans in it, along with an entire head of chopped cauliflower -

Think again.

Really.

Think really hard.

My Christmas Wish List

Last night I dreamt that I was working in a big flour factory, that also baked breads and cakes.

I was on an assembly line where I was frosting chocolate cakes.

I was quite adept at it - but ended up eating a lot of the frosting.

Then the line went down and we were all sitting around looking for things to do.

So I ate more - cake and frosting.

Then I met the owner of the business and he was quite taken with me and gave me a bag of birdseed.

What does this mean?

The fall decorations are out of the house.

Next - I go outside and take the pilgrims down.

: -)

I wanted to share my Christmas list with you - things I've been hankering for.

Been hankering for this since my 'mall day'.

See - that's the trouble with going to the mall! 

You want things you never even knew existed before you went.

Like Coach perfume and Elmo underwear.

Selah.

One spray and I knew I found my new fragrance.

Not that I'm a big fragrance girl.

My bottle of Clinque 'Happy' has lasted me three years.

I usually smell like dirt, grass, onions and Pinesol.

I'm ok with that.

This beauty.

KitchenAid's new 13 cup food processor.

I swoon when I think about it.

I eat a lot of veggies.

A. LOT.

Imagine the ease in which I could slice my cucumbers and julienne my carrots.

It's enough to make a grown woman cry.

My floor would no longer be covered in cauliflower when I chop.

*sniffle*

I'd love a $5000 gift certificate to this place.

I'm not a Kindle/Nook kinda girl.

I like turning real pages, I like smelling books, highlighting them and using them to decorate.

I understand the Nook has it's value - don't get me wrong.

I'd LOVE a shopping spree at Barnes and Noble.

*a single tear*

Anything, and I do mean anything from this place:

Even though I've been pinning cute outfits on Pinterest, talking about pencil skirts, and wanting Coach perfume - I'm a Life is Good hoodie kinda girl at heart -

 that really doesn't mind smelling like onions.

Something happened yesterday as I looked out my backwindow and saw my orange lights glowing, and my pumpkins sinking, and my pilgrims illuminated - something that I'm

not quite sure of -

I want nothing for Christmas now.

And I'm not really planning on giving any gifts to my friends this year.

I went over to the side of the fridge where my Christmas Gift Giving list is and I took it off the fridge, looked at it, and threw it in the garbage can.

If you are my friend reading this - please don't get me anything - please give that waitress a big tip, buy someone's groceries, shovel someone's walkway -

That's a gift I would love for you to give me.

I've got a big heart - I know that - and giving makes me giddy.

GIDDY.

I love giving gifts and I shan't lie - I like opening a gift or two on Christmas Eve around the tree.

And there's not a thing wrong with that.

But somewhere between lunch and dinner yesterday - somewhere between my heart and my mind -

it all seemed so silly.

It all seemed so 'this is what we do every year' - and I'm opting out.

You can't imagine the freedom I feel.

I'm decking my halls today - and the Christmas music will play - there will be some gluten free cookies floating about in the days to come -

My present this year is going to 'be present'.

Present.

Here.

Now.

Giving 100% of my attention to whomever it is I'm with - be it the BoyChild, Glenco - my other family members, friends.

Giving my time, giving a great attitude, giving my sympathy, giving my encouragement, giving, giving, giving.

And promising myself that I'll continue to be that way - long after the needles are vacuumed out of the carpet, long after the boxes of ornaments are tucked safely away in the attic for another year.

Be present.

I think that's an awesome present.

And much harder to give than a pair of socks.

Amen.

Scenes from a Mall

I sit here typing to you in my pj's - up on a Sunday morning, with a cup of breakfast tea cooling in me largest Starbucks mug.

I've no intention of dressing today - or doing anything - so this could be a very long blog post.

The pilgrims are STILL on the porch - lit - fyi.

Glenco and I have decided to take our Sunday's off completely.

Go get a drink - I'll wait.

Are you back?

I've been pinning.

Don't get me started.

Law.

I'm hooked - and if I actually do all of the ideas I've pinned - I will in fact deserve a reward.

In fact - I do believe I'm going to make a board that says "I DID this!"

Glenco's still in bed.

It's 9:36 in the ay em.

It's raining - and it's gloomy.

Which I suppose it's normal to be gloomy when it's raining -

 

You know my last post about being dark and twisty?

Well today I'm bright and straight.

I know what you are thinking - 'this gal needs meds'.

Nah, I just need to stop thinking so much.

But this post is about the mall -

Now this is a scene that you would NEVER see ever -

me, with girlfriends - smiling in the mall

This is more what you would see if you brought me in a mall

Terror - anxiety - and an all around 'let's get the heck out of here' mood.

Just the mention of 'the mall' aged me by 30 years!

Yesterday.

YESTERDAY - a December Saturday - I went to the mall with the AlmostManChild.

I really should stop calling him the BoyChild - but it's hard.

I'm still in awe of how much I enjoyed the mall.

So much to look at!

So much to smell!

It was fantastic!

I was calm - not a care in the world.

I'm just so different now.
Not a smidge of anxiety since I'm wheat-free.

(more on that later - a lot more)

Oh the fun we had!

Aaron is some good company - I just have to tell you that.

There's never a moment of silence between us - there's laughing til we cry - and I can ask the AlmostManChild anything and he tells me the truth.

Case in point -

 I'm going to a lovely symphony concert in Wisconsin next weekend and I want to dress up.

I thought of an outfit like this:

But my calves are still really chunky - and I'm self conscious.

Aaron told me it would be best if I didn't sport the pencil skirt.

His exact words "I'm not telling you this to hurt your feelings - but your legs still need some work - wear your black slacks"

I had asked Glenco the same question and he said "You need to dress for the weather - what if there's snow? Don't wear a skirt and heels".

:-/

Something has changed in Aaron in the last couple of weeks.

I can't put my finger on it - but it's like he's blossomed.

It might have something to do with this:

I ADORE my new brother-in-law.

Ah. Door.

Aaron's cutting all of his blue hair off (oh, you didn't know it was blue?) and going back to his natural hair color.

He's always been vibrant and full of life - but now - it's like he's glowing. 
He didn't meet a stranger in the mall - having conversations with the sales associates like they were his best friends.

Anything I needed - he was on it -

"we need these in a 9 1/2"

"excuse me - where are the gloves at ?"

"Marmie - you don't need those Elmo underwear"

Did you KNOW they had Elmo underwear?

I surely didn't.

I'm convinced the boy is going to take terrific care of me in my silver years.

In fact, I declare that he'll be going all Shirley MacClaine from "Terms of Endearment" if I ever end up in a hospital.

It makes me smile to think about it.

It makes me so happy to know that I'm healthy, and living a lifestyle that will insure that I get to spend as much time with him as possible.

He's growing up right before my eyes.

I have the best, deep down feeling inside my belly about his life.

He may be flunking algebra - but in the grand scheme of things -

he's on the Honor Roll of life.

I absolutely couldn't be prouder of him.

Think About It Thursday

I really must say I felt like $675,000 yesterday with my vintage coat and messy updo.

I loved hearing the sound of my heels clicking around the house while I was getting ready to go.

The play was -

let's say -

'interesting'

I felt dozy during the first half - and then the second half grabbed me by the throat and choked me up some.

I may or may not believe in Santa Claus all over again.

I'm leaning toward believing.

I do believe I was the only one in attendance with fertile eggs in me ovaries.

I didn't realize what a Senior past time afternoon musicals were.

So today finds me all dark and twisty inside.

Christmas is in 24 days and the pilgrims are still lit on my porch.

Mummified pumpkins are sitting about.

I've got no gumption to change it.

I'm planning on making all my gifts - so it will be a Christmas miracle in and of itself if anyone receives anything.

I have over 50 boxes to get to the post office this week - and I can't thank you enough for your generosity and kindness towards me!

I, me, mine.

I feel self-centered.

I'm just in a thinkin' kinda mood.

iggiandgabi.com

I'm thinkin' how perfectly imperfect we all are -

and I'm trying to embrace my weaknesses and give myself a pat on the back for my strengths.

I'm tryin' to learn to love the new thinner Jayme that seems boring to me at times.

I'm trying to forgive the still food addicted Jayme that hides in the pantry and eats a half a bag of marshmallows as fast as she can in secret at times.

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that the skin on my face seems so much looser now and how my eyelids move around so much it's hard to put on eyeshadow.

I'm aging.

It's happening right before my loose eyelids - and there's not a thing I can do about it.

I'm trying to stop time and spend mine wisely from here on out.

I'm a regular time miser lately.

I'm trying to tell my mind what it's allowed to think - instead of letting it tell me how to feel.

I'm trying not to try so hard.

my.opera.com

Law.

I haven't vacuumed in four days.

I'm glad you were sitting down for that one.

Let the record show that losing over 100lbs will rock your world in ways you weren't prepared for it to.

But guess what?

My world needed a little rocking.

Maybe yours does too.

Never give up.

Never give in.

Never stop believing.

shindigz.com

Would a disco ball be as sparkly if it were one solid sheet of mirror?
I think not.

Bust up that mirror - glue it back together -

and now you got yourself a party.

Party on imperfect peeps.

Party on.



Betty Draper Called....

...she wants her coat back.

Talk about being in the right place at the right time -

I picked up this beauty at the resale for 8 dollas!

Today I'm going to a Christmas play right up and in the middle of the afternoon.

And I'm dressing up Draper-style.

Funny thing - how you think you look until you take a picture, isn't it?

I really thought my hair looked good - so I took a pic to show you - and come to find out that it's a rat's nest!

Kinda like this -

Holiday Nipples....

Hey gals!

THANK YOU!

I am just blown away by your support of my Etsy shop yesterday.

I hope to make some more aprons soon - but right now I'm knee deep in packaging papers

skin oil.

Here's a post I did a few years ago - wanted to bring it back up to the top so that you can get busy making some Santa Nipples - or Reindeer Nipples - or Elf Nipples....

or you could just call them Nipple Rings.

The possibilities are endless!

Just wanted to show you a super quick, super tasty little treat to make for the holidays.

I call these Nipples.

I think it's funny. Glenco just rolls his eyes.

These would be Turkey Nipples.

I also make Reindeer Nipples, Leprechaun Nipples, Cupid's Nipples....

I think you get the idea.

I was going to name this post 'Everyone Loves My Nipples'

Aren'tcha glad I didn't?

All you need are some round pretzels, Hershey kisses and M&M's.

The M&M's should reflect whatever holiday it is that you are celebrating.

Of course, the day before Thanksgiving, it's impossible to find any fall colored M&M's, so I had to buy a regular bag and sort them out myself.

Preheat your oven to 200 degrees. Using a Silpat or parchement paper, line a cookie sheet (I like using a jelly roll so they don't fall off going in and out of the oven, trust me on that one)

"Kiss your pretzels"

Put them in the oven for about two to three minutes, until thoroughly softened and shiny, but not melted and running.

Now all you have to do is 'nipple' them!

Chill them until they firm up. These make great snacks. They pack well and can be put in tins or jars and given as gifts. Kids especially like these.

Hoping you all have a wonderful, and Happy Thanksgiving!

PS House post still planned for sometime later tonight!

Apron Up!

Well girls - it's Monday.

I like me some Monday.

For me - it's the day of the week to get after it again - restore order - plan and scheme - cook - clean - and kick some butt in general.

I don't know about you - but I don't feel properly prepared for a Monday unless I'm aproned up.

I did it girls.

I actually sewed up 9 aprons and put them on Etsy.

Why do I feel all nervous?

: -)

Hands to the Spindle, Hearts to God over here.

I'm staying home if'n it's the last thing I do.

Can't thank you enough for your support!  Thanks SO much for your serum and honey orders.

Ya done blessed me real good.

If you want to order an apron, and you've already ordered honey, or serum - please go ahead and know that I'll be adjusting the shipping costs before I do ship your order and giving you a refund.

Capeesh?

This will be the last day that the serum and honey are at the sale price!

Don't miss it!
It will also be the last day I'm pimping out my blog!
: -)

Many thanks to my wonderful friend Renee for letting me borrow her dummy.  I've had fun posing this dummy by the ironing board, and having her do assorted chores. I've gotten quite attached to her actually!  I keep trying to talk Glenco into getting some actual sister wives. 

Imagine how much could get done with a few more women in the house!

(As of 2pm CST - all the aprons have sold! Oh my!  I can't believe it!  Thank you all so very, very much)

Skin Serum Sale!

Fixed the shipping charges on Etsy!

Thanks for bringing that to my attention....

I'm awfully confused on the shipping, and how to set it right - because for a Medium Priority box at $10.95 you can get two jars of honey, a skin serum and probably an apron all shipped for $10.95!

If you place an order, and the shipping is all cattywompus - I will fix it, refunding you a difference via Paypal - before I ship it ok?

Cattywompus is a woefully underused word.

So is cockamamie, gallavanting - and actually - woeful.

I've deleted the coupon code and just lowered the price by 20% for the next few days just to add to the confusion here.

There's plenty of honey left at the moment - so go get it before it's gone.

Hard to believe it'll be next summer before I pull anymore frames.

The skin serum is on sale now!

$12.95 a bottle!

Stock up!

I'm not sure I'll ever be able to sell it at this price again.

(that's not a real chicken - fyi - no chicken was harmed in the making of the serum)

I'm getting so many fabulous testimonials about the skin serum.

I have one customer who's Doctor kept remarking about her skin, saying what a difference he's noticed - so much that he ordered a bottle for himself!

I do believe with the amount of weight I've lost recently, that my face would be rather saggy without it.

I couldn't go a day without it - I couldn't. I wouldn't.  I won't.

If you are already a serum user, I'd love to hear your comments!

Hurry up and order yours today - cause chances are I will actually remember to change the price back to the original $19.95 some day.

Just click on my Etsy store right over there --------->

It's Almost Cyber Monday.....

Hey guys!

I sincerely hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! 

My turkey was woefully dry.

I kinda forgot about it.

I know - I was busy doing other things and miscalculated the time it needed.

I'm afraid I did not impress my new brother-in-law in any way, shape or form!

I'm up here in the Coop gearing up for "Cyber Monday".

Sewing my fingers to the bone.

I've got 24 pint sized jars of honey up on Etsy now - and I wanted to give you first dibs, and a coupon code!

'mondaymonday'

will get you 20% off your order!

And in case you've forgotten - here's where my bees have been eating all summer:

On this cold almost December night - I have to tell you - these photos are a balm to me soul.

Shipping stuff makes me nuts - it's so danged expensive - but how else can I get it to you?

I'm not padding the shipping cost any - just using the Priority Mail boxes from the PO.

The coupon code is active now - so you don't actually have to wait until Monday!

Aprons will be coming tomorrow - and the skin serum is going on sale too!

Here's a sneak peek of one of the aprons.

Thanks a million for your support here.

Me staying home = more blogging = happy readers = happy Jayme.



November Dreams

akamonsoon.wordpress.com

It's happening again.

It happens right around this time of the year - when my heart seams seem to nearly burst from all the goodness and light of the holidays.

The chilled turkey carcass is still nestled in it's plastic net, yet -

I can smell it.

I can hear the pots and pans rattling and envision whisking hopes and dreams into the gravy.

We are on the cusp of the most wonderful time of the year.

It's like being on a roller coaster and there's that moment of stillness before you plunge head first -

This is when 'it' happens.

newgre.org

'It' being - me thinking anything is possible.

'It' being - me making high in the sky apple pie dreams of gardens, poultry, triathlons, size six jeans, more bee hives, tapping maple trees and assorted shenanigans.

What is it about November that gets me all up in arms?

I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact that I can only plan everything and not actually have to do the work.

There are no triathlons in Indiana in November.

charliebroadway.blogspot.com

There are no plantings of gardens and baby chick purchases in November.

urbanfarming.wordpress.com

123rf.com

There is no adding beehives in November.

panaramio.com

There's just thinking about it.

And when all you can do is think about it - sister - don't you just think you are capable of going to the moon and back?

I do.

But think about it I will - and plan it I will - and come time to actually do it -

I'm sure I'll adjust that list.

Here's to another beauty full ordinary day my friends!

Dream big!

Filled Full

It's 5:22am.

I just finished eating turkey sausage and a couple of Cuties.

I have three loads of laundry waiting until it's light enough outside so I can hang them -

Crock pot apple butter is in the making.

I started to shampoo the carpet - but it's still too dark for that -

so I thought I'd check in with all y'all.

I've been making a real effort to stay away from the computer - wanting to be fully present at home this week.

I kept my entire schedule clear this week, and stayed off the phone too.

The BoyChild was here.

: - )

Between the love of the BoyChild and my staying put all week - it truly has been one of the best weeks in my recent memory.

Now, that's not saying much - since I'm notorious for a bad memory - which does, I must admit - come in handy at times.

I hold no grudges - since I can never remember what it is that someone has done.

It was the most ordinary week ever - and sisters - can I just tell you this -

Ordinary is fabulous.

We went to the gym a few times - and he had gymnastics training on Thursday - but other than that -

we stayed put.

He even got homework done.

For real.

Whilst he was at school - I worked my fingers to the bones sewing.

I'm going to confess that I listened to Christmas music whilst I sewed, sang along loudly, and I may or may not have never been happier.

See this heating pad cover?

Over 15 years in the making my friends.

I bought that fabric when Aaron was born - planning on making a heating pad cover.

FIFTEEN YEARS later.

It's done.

I did tell you that 'Finish' was my word of 2012, right?

I started a little business called 'Coop Keeper Creations' and I'll be unveiling my aprons that I've sewn this week on Etsy - planning a big 'Cyber Monday' sale!

Remember when I talked about getting a job a week or so ago?  I feel that I may have mis-communicated in some way why I wanted a job - trust me - it had nothing to do with fulfillment - or lack of things to do.

It was purely financial.

I'm completed filled full here at home - mentally and emotionally.

It dawned on me that I'm not even using the talents I have here at home to make a little extra cash - so I've been putting my hands to the spindle, so to speak.

I'm even starting to like the porch - I love looking through the kitchen window at it - it looks super cozy that way -

Glenco's making me a rustic 8' long wooden table for the porch out of a pile of old lumber we found in a dumpster this summer.

Fingers crossed it's done by Thanksgiving!

So I say - here's to a wonderful, ordinary, beauty full Monday.

Celebrate the ordinary.

Take time to notice how the light is changing at this time of year - and how it moves in your home.

Take time to be present in your home - giving your family your all.

Give yourself your all.

Make a nice dinner tonight.

Be nice.

Close the computer up - turn off the phone ringer -

breathe.

It might be the last chance you get til January.