I sit here now with a purring feline on my lap at 2:30 in the pm -
I've had a mammogram, thrift shopped and purchased the week's groceries.
|I'm saving grocery receipts to get an idea of how much I'm spending on food a month.|
It's more than I want to, that's for sure.
I came home and had tea and talked with a friend on the phone briefly.
|I spend a lot of time at this tea pot! It remains one of the best gifts I've ever been given.|
And now - I blog.
I never imagined a life like this - a life of routine - a life of uninterrupted thoughts.
A world in which things stay where I put them.
Oftentimes, I feel like I'm missing out on something important.
Surely -there is some busyness that I need to attend to.
Busyness has been quite a coping mechanism for me.
For the record - busyness doesn't equal productivity, a higher social standing or personal importance.
I feel like life is in control, which for me - is a very strange feeling indeed. I've almost always felt that life was a roller coaster and that I was strapped in whether I liked it or not - and oftentimes I'd forgotten the barf bucket and made a mess of the whole thing.
Have you ever run into a friend somewhere, like a grocery store, and they go on and on about how busy they are, and that they don't have a single second to spare? They seem completely overwhelmed, and yet you can detect the slightest hint of 'see how important I am? See how full my life is? It must be good if it's this full. I must be good. I am important, and needed.
|The books I ordered with my Amazon.com birthday gift card arrived today!|
I used to be that person.
A few months ago, I was that person.
Today my life is tidy - it's organized. It's quiet. And that's ok. If you ran into me today and asked me what's new - I'd say 'not a bloody thing, have you got time for coffee?'.
Life is cyclical and today I feel more as if I'm on a Ferris wheel, calmly spinning, enjoying the view.
The crazy thing is - I can do anything I want right now - I mean - within reason. I couldn't fly to Paris or go on a shopping spree - but you know what I mean.
All the things you say you want to do.
Go to the library.
See a movie.
Spend time with so and so.
And the list goes on and on.
I could do any of those things at this very minute - and yet I choose to sit with warm cat on my lap and watch the snowflakes fall.
I don't feel a bit guilty about it either.
Spring will be here soon with it's obnoxious to do list.
The ladders will come out, the hoes will be sharpened, the chicks will be ordered and the soil turned over.
Today I'm going to enjoy the quiet.
I'll try a new Kale Salad recipe for dinner tonight, and take a long hot bath afterwards.
I'll cozy up on the couch tonight and watch tv.
I'll be sound asleep by 9:30 in the pm.
I'll sleep like the dead.
I do believe there is healing in the quiet.
Lord knows we all need some of that.
Thank you all for such a wonderful outpouring of birthday wishes to Pam! I hope I didn't embarrass you too much Pam - wasn't my intent. Please let us know how your special day was!