Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Embracing Thomas


I just had to blog.
Right. now.

The scenario:


I just took a hot soak in the bathtub with a mug of chamomile tea. 
Jax the cat got locked in the bathroom with me, and pulled at the door the whole time I was trying to relax.
It almost frustrated me.
 My hair is deep conditioning as I type.
All I'm wearing is a towel and an afghan.  
I'm up on the davenport in the living room, or front room - whichever you prefer - and my hair is dripping on my nekkid shoulders.

It's 6:19 in the pm on a Wednesday night.

You guys have given a gift to my soul with all of the comments and emails you have sent.  I'm in process of answering them.  Bless your hearts.  For real.

Truth is -  I'm OK.  I'm super hormonal.  I miss Aaron terribly.  I've had three periods in the last six weeks, my breasts are always hurting, and the hormonal headaches are ridiculous.
I've stocked up on feminine products, ergo ...my vagina having it's own drawer.
Pads, tampons, tinctures, powders and Pamprin.
One word of advice - do not buy off brand cheap tampons.
That is NOT where you want to cut corners in your budget my friends.
They hurt.

I'm a bit discombulated, I feel bloated and tired - unfocused and unenergized.
It's near 9am before I get my head screwed on straight anymore.


I have been on the fence for quite sometime about quitting blogging - to the point that it's been a joke with some of my friends.  I guess I just needed to make a decision, and then as soon as I did make the decision, I realized it was the wrong one.
Go figure.
I have decided to continue blogging - and I'm going to rename the blog 'The Bipolar Blogger'.
: -)
Bob Mackie is designing my gowns as I type this.

I have no grand illusions about blogging - I'm not trying to make a business out of it - or just use it to promote Etsy, or become the next Pioneer Woman, I just like to yak my thoughts out - it's rather selfish of me actually - cause it just helps me to think 'out loud' sorta kinda.

I'll say no more.

So here was my thoughts today.
I made a Pinterest board called 'Addicted to Downton Abbey'.
For those of you that aren't watchers - law girls - Netflix it up.
I'll try not to give too many spoilers, but oh didn't we love it when his black market rations turned out to be plaster dust?  Or when we thought that he in fact had lost Lord Grantham's dog.

This might get long - I suggest you pee and get a drink.  Or vise versa.

Thomas.   Let's talk about him.
He's a stinking scoundrel, isn't he?  You just love hating him - he's so sneaky and manipulative.
You can imagine him spanking puppies and drowning kittens.


But.

There's something about Thomas - especially this season, that is just flat out breaking my heart - and I'm beginning to embrace Thomas.

It doesn't hurt that he's a beautiful man out of character.


He reminds me of the three hooligans that tormented my mother in the summer of 1984.

Scenario:
The lower southeast side of Chicago.
A perfect postage stamp sized yard - tended by my fabulous mother - she worked hard in her polyester pants with the sewn in crease and the elastic waist - her tanned arms toiling in her cotton smocks, with a king-sized Kool cigarette perfectly balanced on her lips.
Her yard was her fifth child - her pride and joy.

Along came the hooligans that summer in 1984.
Three motherless rascals moved in next door - ages 7-10.
They peed on her flowers through the chain link fence.
They ripped the green beans right off the vines.
Shenanigans a plenty.
Malarkey galore.


They would taunt her, throw things in the yard - you get the picture.

You don't mess with my momma.

No amount of threatening worked.  The more I yelled, the worse they got.

I decided to love on them.  I took them to the zoo.  I talked to them all the time and bought them presents.
They turned out to be the sweetest little things, starving for love and affection, starving for a mom.

And so it is with this thought that I embrace poor Thomas.
He's needing some love, just like we all do.

Why is it so easy to be kind to others, and yet so hard on ourselves?
So tonight - I'm going to take it easy on myself.  I'm going to pajama up and curl up on the couch with endless cups of tea.  I'm going to rest and realize that I'm just not at my best right now - and that's OK.
This too shall pass...why not let it pass in peace and understanding, instead of beating myself up for not being full of energy and getting a million things done a day.



So let it be written, so let it be done.
Love yourself.

79 comments:

  1. thank you!! the heavens are now resting. thank you GOD. i had a chat with him & i say please, from the heart of my bottom ... please tell Jayme now much we love her & need her around the blog world. but if it is the best let her go. but for the life of wildness keep her here & chain her to her computer chair & maker her type about Downton Abbey ... till the cows are watching. ha. ha!! i'm not sure i can enjoy or love Thomas - i prefer others sorry. i will have to think about that one for a while longer. i agree with you on the period issue. tampons are important. do a commercial for goodness sakes. ha. ha!! i'm sure you have seen the "earth friendly" version ... i think not. that is not something i wish to slack on. come on now. there are just some thing i can't do. ha. ha!! i want to save the world but come on now. ha. ha!!! Jax is too cute!! aww!! enjoy this post so. missed ya. but hey you never left, right??! keep up the fun. .. we are here when you are. big big hugs. ( :

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    1. Tampons are important! Even though the cardboard applicators are more earth friendly, I do declare I'm staying with the gentle glide. Amen.

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  2. I love your blog...and I felt a pang in my heart when you posted your resignation....and glee when the next two posts came!

    I read your blog BECAUSE you are REAL! You are funny and real...the "vagina drawer" made me giggle!

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    1. Thanks Julie! Yep, I'm real alright. : -) I suppose I should be thankful that I'm still in need of the v drawer. Getting old ain't for sissies my friend.

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  3. How wonderful you are staying around! You write beautifully and ...spread joy!

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  4. You are too charitable. Betwixt Thomas and O'Brien I don't know who I want to smack more. I have not seen any of this season yet as I have two more episodes of season two left to view. Perhaps I will like Thomas more this season but it will be a challenge!
    So happy you are sticking around. Without question, my favorite blog!!

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    1. yes, I am charitable! I do believe that this season we will see another softer side of Thomas. Thanks for reading!

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  5. I am fairly new to your blog, and am loving it! Please. Do. Not. Stop. Blogging. You are awesome!

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  6. The last year before I had a hysterectomy were brutal. With a capital B! So I can understand about the drawer. There was never enough room in my purse when I went somewhere. Ugh. I have never seen Downton Abbey. I guess someday I should see what the fuss is about.

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    1. Yes, you must see what the fuss is about. I am planning on a DIY ovary removal today. I just have to go to the liquor store first.

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  7. Love Downton!! Saw your Pinterest board earlier and kinda swooned when I saw Thomas out of character :) Please remember that it is OK to slow down, rest, rejuvenate and recharge your batteries.

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    1. I know - Thomas is gorgeous! And yes, I do realize it is ok to slow down - but just cause it's ok - doesn't mean I have to like it. Change is hard ya know? You get used to being one way - and then you turn 50 and you are another way. I don't like it~! This too shall pass.

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  8. Hugs. So glad you decided against leaving. I'm thrilled that I will continue to be able to read your rants and your raves and I applaud you for those. Enjoy your time.

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    1. Thanks Joani! I'll be ranting and raving. ; -)

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  9. Oh my gosh if you have a drawer I need a room. Four daughters three of which use the stuff and myself. Four of us in this house. Heck we could use a padded room. And my husband is a saint.

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    1. That sounds like my house growing up! Four girls, my mom and dad. My dad was a saint! I don't know how old you are - but if you are around my age - do you remember those ginormous big blue boxes of Kotex!?

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  10. Yea for you!!!! Boo for Thomas!!!....:)

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    1. Thomas will win all of our hearts over this season. Mark my words! If he doesn't - you didn't read this here.

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  11. Amen, Amen And Amen! You know if you quit blogging I would have to come and hunt you down-and I know you will be hiding in that danged Squirrel trailer too-so don't be going there- Love you-you crazy thing- xo Diana

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    1. What happens in the Squirrel stays in the Squirrel Diana! xo

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  12. I was SO happy to see Tales From the Coop Keeper on my blogger reading list, woohoo! I'm SO happy you've decided to continue blogging. That makes me happy. You never fail to put a smile on my face. Did I say I'm happy?! Welcome back! Hope you're feeling better soon.

    By the way, I guess I'm going to have to Netflix Downtown Abbey. After all, I do love the Biltmore in North Carolina and I hear there are a lot of similarities.

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    1. Thanks so much! Yes, you do have to Netflix DA - it's a great show - and there's something addicting about it.

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  13. Please continue to yak it up. I love every bit of it!

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  14. Good for you! That's so hard to do - I'm just slowly learning how myself. It's crazy when you first start being kind to yourself... something about it feels nuts. But wonderful. And I'm glad you're not leaving yet.

    And geez, Thomas. I just don't know. I hate to admit that I see what you mean. Funny that he has so little back story.

    And oh, lady town. Woof. Hang in there.

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    1. I do hope they give some background on Thomas - and yes, I think this season we'll see the human side of him. It is hard to be kind to yourself, I tend to be a drill sargeant when it comes to treating myself.

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  15. So glad you're sticking around :) Hormones & S.A.D ....bad combination....come on Spring!! I know I'm just dying to hook my Skamper camper up and hit the road!

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    1. I don't have the SAD - Glenco does - and actually he's doing really great. I got him out of the house after work yesterday for a bit of thrifting! Got a super cute little vintage waffle maker for $2.75. Holla!

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  16. You done gots yo mojo.

    Praytell, why did my dad call me up on the phone last night to say he'd lost one of his blog friends? (that'd be you) I had no clue. I'm MIA on the internets this week because my kids have 2 hour delays every day and Silas's school keeps being canceled! (law) So I ask him to explain and he does then I say, "She quits blogging all the time." Then I come here today to see...YOU! And I almost burst with joy. And yes, I had a chuckle.

    I get it, Love. Please don't draw no mo hard lines. Just yap when you want to. We're right here.

    You looked so pretty in your picture today. I wanted to hug you to death.

    I had to laugh at the thought of Dad (aka your "blog friend" ???) reading about your vagina's drawer.

    PS - He requested a couple more dishcloths.Said the original two are a tired, stretched-out mess, and he and Mama like yours best.

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    1. Your comments just soothe me soul. You've always know that Min. I'm a start knittin' now. Hopefully the new dishcloths can wash away the hooha drawer image out of your pappie's mind.

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  17. I love your blog!....I needed the words you posted today..you have a real sense of yourself and life. Your family and those of us who read your blog are very fortunate!
    Thank you,
    Enid

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    1. Enid, that was such a kind comment..thank you so much!

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  18. Oh Jayme, I'm so glad you decided not to stop! I think you are funny. Thought-provoking. Inspiring. Glad your voice is still going to be out there!

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    1. Thanks! I really appreciate your encouragement!

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  19. Rest in the moment for whatever it brings. For after all, that is all we really have. Thank you for being real and able to share with us all. So glad you decided to stick around blogland.

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    1. Exactly! I'll be around here for a while. : -) Thanks so much for being here.

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  20. Hi Jayme...So glad you're still here! Can't explain how I felt the other day when I read your goodbye post...I have never met you...but just love you! Weird...I know! I am so glad you haven't stopped blogging! I don't comment very often...but I look forward to every one of your post's!

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    1. Thanks so much Sharon!!! I really appreciate it. So funny how we can get attached to people that we have never met. I think it's just the strength and beauty of the human spirit. Goes to show you that there is more to this life that what we see.

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  21. Dancing a jig over here. That's our Jayme! The pics and share are too cute, especially Jax. He's giving that look of "Who Me? Don't know what she's talk'n bout!"

    Talk about being an empty nester. Wet hair, towel, afghan and computer. Wow, freedom! The womanly necessities drawer speaks the terrible "M" word? That might explain a bit of what is going on? Google 34 symptoms of the dreaded "M" word. Augh! Not fun.

    Downton lover as well, but not of Thomas. Edith has my attention right now. I can't wait to see how her character develops. Take care and tell Mackie to get moving on that dress as its too cold here in the Midwest for all that skin showing. Blog on please. Another dose of Jayme that we all love!

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    1. Ha ha...yes, empty nest - I'm half nude all the time now. Well, not really - it's too stinking cold...but it is nice to be able to just be. I'd take being fully dressed at all times and having Aaron back up in there tho!

      I did Google the 34. Law.

      Edith is turning into a very interesting character. I do believe she will be the strong, independent woman and lead a very interesting life. She'll show the 1920's that you don't need a man to be complete.

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  22. Secret be told . . . I DID NOT want you to be a blog retiree . . . On my own I decided I would write to you anyway. Then I realized that writing to you wouldn't help ME one darn bit if I wouldn't be reading and reflecting on what you had to say.

    So you have saved my day by reconsidering.

    Your blog would pop up on my Google Reader, and I would skip over others just to read what you had to say or laugh my head off at something you did, (or didn't) or see your darling Aaron and that gorgeous smile and bountiful energy and be over the moon with excitement too hear about his journey.

    Darn woman stuff . . . we need one another when we go through this post later in life stuff. Every physical, emotional moment in the book comes slamming at us . . . You need us to remind you that you are beautiful and "normal."

    Just rambling here . . .happy you are there so I can ramble.

    Oh that Thomas . . . what a snake . . . wonder what he has up his sleeve next. I loved the plaster episode . . . he sure has rallied a bit though since then!

    So when are you going to California?

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    1. California? I is confused. Is that where you live? Are you inviting me?

      Thanks so much for sticking around Lynne! Love your comments!

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  23. Thank you for hearing our broken hearts and deciding to continue to blog!

    I have another show to recommend! CALL THE MIDWIFE!, another masterpiece from the BBC!

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    1. I will make note of that show! Thanks for encouraging me to stick around!

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  24. I can't tell you how happy I am that you are still going to drivel :)

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    1. I thought I was plum out of drivel. Who knew?

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  25. I am so very happy that we are still going to hear from you! Your blog always makes me laugh and smile at the same time! The hormonal thing is no fun at all! I just sucked it up and went on bio-identical hormones in the cream form. They are plant derived and helped me cope with life and getting rid of those horrible headaches. I also had my thyroid checked and am now on thyroid meds. My family is very happy as they like me again. All the crying and sadness is gone. Getting old is not for the weak! LOL! Take care of yourself! ♥♥♥

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    1. The headaches are the worst aren't they!? Getting old ain't for the weak - you got that right! Keep me posted on the hormones...I may go that route.

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  26. As my mother would say, I knew it was your hormones! Curse them!

    By the way, that cat of yours is gorgeous. My cats always decide they want to come in/go out as soon as I get into bed. And the dog scratches at the door when I have a bath.

    Kathy from tasmania

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    1. Jax is gorgeous - isn't he? He's a stinker though. I can't bathe without locking the door - he just comes right in. Ha. Then he hates getting stuck in there and won't give me a minutes peace.

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  27. GIRL you are in my head....SERIOUSLY! :-) As I am getting older I have learned so much from other women about what I am fixin' to go through with my own body. Thanks for being real about it all, it's a forecast for those coming up behind you and others I have learned from. You know you got me hooked on the Abbey. I am waiting for season two to go down in price, but so ready to watch it. Definitely a keeper!!

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    1. No one telling you about it can prepare you - ha! It's really not THAT bad - and the better you eat and exercise..the easier it is.

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  28. Oh, try Vitamin A..I wish I had known about it sooner for the crazy periods, heavy bleeding etc. a few years ago....and look for herbal thyroid support.....tremendous helps for me.....bless you for writing!

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  29. Happy dance here in the city. (you catch my drift...)

    "So let it be written, so let it be done.".....One of my favorite things to mouth.

    Welcome back, dear Jayme.

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    1. awe, thanks so much! I so appreciate that!

      Can't you just hear Yul Brenner saying it? Ha!

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  30. Bless your heart(that's what Southerner's HAVE to say when we hear anything troubling).. you are having a time of it all. I am 10 years older and I am done with the whole menopause thing. It happened when we were building this house 7 years ago so I didn't recognize the extreme mood changes, I thought it was just building nightmares! Girl you have a way of getting me moving on the things I need to do. I read your posts and then it just becomes clear. I have some hard stuff to do the next year or so and blogging had to be put on the back burner. That's ok cause I still can read and recharge my batteries. You can't quit until I am better... no pressure!

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    1. Bless your heart - ha...I love it. I say it all the time. Always love hearing from you Joy - you know we are blog sisters til the end. I'm always here for you. xo

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  31. Serious crush on Thomas.... always have had a thing for the "bad-boys"!!! Sorry I can't offer any advice on the female hormone thing.... well maybe, eat more chocolate!!!!

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    1. no no no...no chocolate! Always makes things worse! Ha! I get the serious crush on Thomas - he really is quite smoldery isn't he?

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  32. Menopause, peri, post, whatever is awful. There's no two ways about it. I went through it "blind" drsgging my family behind. Not fun. Educate yourself, educate them. You will get back to yourself. Throw Aaron leaving into it?! I'm going through it myself right now as well. There's at least a little bit of sad, all the time (except when they come home and then they leave again and rip a little of the bandaid as they go.). Take care of yourself. You're worth it.

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    1. Oh you read my mind! I've been educating! Glen called me this morning to make sure I am ok - he can tell I've been off the last few days. Bless his heart. : -)

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    2. Not educating leads to trouble. :)

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  33. Hugs Jayme! SOOOOO Happy you are back!!!!

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    1. Thank you! It feels good to be back. Remind me of this is May when I'm pulling my hair out and overwhelmed with the garden. : -)

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  34. Thanks for having the balls or should I say the vagina to share your peri-menopause stuff. I too am struggling with it. You say everything I'm thinking and feeling.
    I'm so glad you're are staying.
    I decided last night that I needed to love, treat and take care of myself as I would someone else. I'm almost 50 and never have really done that done that before. I'm sure it will be a challenge but I'm gonna try. Sounds like you're doing the same.
    Thanks for the laughs!!!
    I wish you were my neighbor!
    (((((((((HUGS))))))))))
    Karen

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    1. Thanks Karen! You know that house that was next door to me finally sold - I'll let you know when something is available. : -) We are all in this together, and we gotta learn to be gentle with ourselves. I think it will help the process go a lot easier if we are. Gotta find the humor in it too!

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  35. ((sigh!)) Be still my soul!

    Thank you! Thank you... for hanging in here. Like so many have said - and I echo - you make us laugh. Me especially. I need to do that more often. In fact. I think it's only your blog, that I read (anymore these days), that the kids or my husband will catch me giggling and or snickering over here in our computer corner and will ask me why I'm laughing...and what about now?

    Jayme - you're always so inspiring. NO MATTER what mood you're in. UP or Down. I think it's because of your honesty and your realness. You are so down to earth.

    And - snicker - but I like it when you talk up gardening and chickens and all things unmentionable-like.

    And if it wasn't for your YouTube antics (chuckling now) wow!! by the way... I'm making laundry soap - taking lessons from you. Seriously.

    The V- drawer. Too funny.

    Even before leaving this comment - I was on Etsy this morning and bought myself one of your Spring Chicken Serums! I CAN NOT wait to try it.

    ~Bevy

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    1. You are just the SWEETEST THING! The next time I roast some coffee - I'm making extra beans for you.

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  36. Let it be written...I am a happy camper!! :) Think "out loud" all you want to. I'll be listening. ;) Love your story about loving on the neighborhood hooligans. Isn't it so true. And yes, we need to love ourselves too. ;)

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  38. Ha! You TOTALLY crack me up!!!
    I don't know which post entry as I've read quite a few of them to get caught up with you......or if I'm laughing the most at this post of yours that I'm commenting on!! I'm so confused...however it's a funny, light hearting, good confusion....which is a relief from the menopausal confusion I usually lie in state with!!!
    My husband does NOT believe that my breasts hurt these days, weeks, and months gone by! Looks at me like I've got a third eye and it's all in my big girl imagination!! Well guess what.....I will be reading this post to him tomorrow...first chance I get with him!!!
    I know he will believe you..... like he believes Super Blond Mega-Busty Star Jenny McCarthy!!!
    Girly-Girl!!! You are an answer to my Mid-Life Menopausal Prayers!!!
    :)
    Hope you get to feeling betta! You've got so much to give to the world!!!

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  39. Get yourself some hormone cream. All natural and it works! At least it did for me. These books by Dr.John Lee. Hormone Balance Made Simple and What Your Dr. May Not Tell You About Perimenopause changed my life. I got them thru Amazon. Pro-gest by emerita is the cream. The books do a great job of explaining the difference between synthetic hormones and natural.

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  40. Jayme, I struggle with the whole blog or not thing as well. I love it. Yet, I find that I get sick of talking about myself. That being said, I love reading your blog. I love your honesty. Please keep it up.

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  41. Jayme, It gets better. I am past the heavy bleeding stuff...but the headaches...aughhhhh. I am a few years older than you, just turned 53. So do't forget we will have the fun of hot flashes to look forward too!
    Have not been on the computer much, so am glad to see you are here! You make me smile!!
    jan

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Thanks so much for leaving a comment!