I realize that I ended quite abruptly last night.
It was late - I was tired - and writing that post drained me somewhat.
The reliving it and all.
I just wanted to 'shoe horn in' as Anne Lamott says, the following.
I'm in a very good place now.
VERY good.
I feel healed and whole - but as I said in my previous post - I live aware. Aware that poor nutrition, lack of self care, taking any type of a pill - could easily cause me to be symptomatic again.
In the darkest days I had - I always knew there was hope. I truly never felt alone.
Surely, you all know how ridiculously introspective I am - and I feel that I do know myself quite well - and I just knew within my core that this was an organic problem - and there was a solution.
I knew I could be fixed. I knew THAT wasn't me.
If you could see the bookmarks on my computer - you'd laugh - there has to be at least a hundred of them - all related to nutrition and bipolar symptoms...
Did you know many people are diagnosed bipolar when it's really your thyroid?
Read here.
Did you know Jane Pauley was hospitalized for three weeks after taking steroids and anti-depressants (which I took for the poison ivy, and again for tendinitis) - she was in a hypomanic state - and depression followed. It's a fascinating article.
Read here.
Did you know that gluten can cause flare ups in bipolar disorder?
Read here.
I could go on but I won't.
But I will tell you this. When I stay away from gluten and dairy - I'm as right as rain.
Food sensitivities are real.
What I hope you will take away from all of this is:
Don't stop fighting. Find the answer. You shouldn't have to live your life depressed, overwhelmed, confused, stressed, etc. It's not right - it's not how you were designed to live.
You have to be relentless, you have to keep digging, and find those answers.
Don't treat symptoms.
Find the cause my friends.
Find.
the.
cause.
Initially, it doesn't seem like it's the easy way - but honestly - in the long run - it is.
I've proven over and over again in my life that food is an issue.
Wheat and dairy - I'll say it til I'm blue in the face.
I think Glenco summed it up perfectly when he said 'This is great - you know what the answer is - it's the food!' - and then in the next breath said 'oh crap - it's the food'.
It's one of the hardest things to do - to completely change your lifestyle and eating habits.
Sometimes I have thought 'a pill is easier! Pass the bread!'
But then I remember the hell I lived through for the better part of two years.
Get your gut healthy.
95% of your serotonin is made there.
Heck, everything is made there.
This is paramount.
Be grateful.
Don't overbook yourself.
Take hot baths.
Be around people you love often.
Eat real food.
(and some marshmallows)
Sleep more.
Forgive generously.
Always look for the good in others.
Be kind to yourself.
It's really simple - we just make it hard.
Please know I am here - even though I don't blog very often - I'm here, and I read every stinking comment. You all have been a tremendous blessing to me. If you need to, please feel free to reach out. I will return your email.
Love you!
ReplyDeleteI love you, Jayme! My family has suffered the effects of mental illness, and I applaud you for talking about your journey so openly. I appreciate your transparency more than I can express. You have often made me feel less alone and your honesty and amazing writing skills have helped me understand that we all struggle and it's okay! THANK YOU! Sending you love and good wishes for continued good health!
ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteI am here, too. Don't speak up all that often, but know that I am cheering for you all the way,
ReplyDeleteWhy is it so hard for us to figure out how to take good care of ourselves? It is so much about the foods we eat and yet we do it anyway. We often don't act like the smartest species on the planet.
ReplyDelete... and please stop in and read todays blog post... it's partly about that food. You hit the nail on the head.. and I love Glencos response..LOL.. yeah.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you my friend. I so appreciate your honesty, and being willing to share the HARD in life. EVERYONE has issues in their life . . . few are willing to put their "REAL" out there so others can see there is hope. No matter what. There IS HOPE. I am so happy to know that you are happy. Keep on posting and sharing. I LOVE reading what you have to say!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your vulnerability!! I always wondered how you were doing when you weren't blogging as often. Isn't it amazing that "It's always the food." I know that, but I am still trying to convince myself of that when it comes to certain food groups. We are all different & food affects each of us in different ways. But it usually always is the food!! Keep doing what you are doing & thanks so much for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your little Audre Londe quote above. Its hard enough with how God made us, hormones and all, let alone taking on our roles in life as a female. I agree with the Nina Simone statement too. Thanks for being "real" Jayme. You take care of yourself and God Bless your Family and Friends that cared.
ReplyDeleteDebra
Well, you have been just as much of a blessing to me, Jayme. God bless you on this journey to health and healing. You're doing it right! xo Diana
ReplyDeleteInspiring . . . always . . .
ReplyDeleteThank you for your uber transparency with all of what you have been through. It blesses me SOOO much. I'm in a deep pit right now and when someone waves a beam of light like you have it makes the pit seem a little less deep. I'm thankful for your journey of hope!
ReplyDeleteIt is a shame to live with these issues, feeling so alone and strange, when, in reality, others with the same or similar experiences are all around us. Too bad it takes us so long to learn the value of sharing. I do agree so strongly with Audre Londe's quote. Learning that life lesson changed everything for me. I believe we owe it to ourselves, and to those who love us, to nurture and protect our own well being. Thank you for making the effort to write your truth. No doubt, you will impact many and I hope you find and comfort and a sense of pride in yourself for that.
ReplyDeleteAlways checking here for a new installment and never disappointed! So glad you are feeling so well!
Susan
I love you Jamye. . . you heal so many souls, you will never know. . . great post, I just adore you!! You inspire me, especially today when I really needed it. Don't stop blogging. . . eva
ReplyDeleteI know you must have posted this several days ago- but I was meant to read it today. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reminding me it's ok to put myself first- to take care of me.
ReplyDeleteGood for you Jayme.....I've long said that we need to be our own advocates. We have to take care of ourselves, as if our lives depended on it.
ReplyDelete:)
I am sensitive to caffeine. Started when I was 30. Anxiety would rage in me, panic attacks galore. Medications made me complacent, but did nothing. I dont think medications are bad, and some people do need them. I worked in a mental health facility for 12 yrs, I know they work. But for me I have to pass on the Ghiradelli, run from my fave Cherry Pepsi, and eat candy in small doses only once in awhile. I feel for yah.
ReplyDeleteJayme, I can totally agree that thyroid can cause bi-polar reactions in an otherwise sane person. My sister missed her medication for her thyroid for a month and went off the edge of reality!!!
ReplyDeleteI also agree that gluten poisoning can cause severe depression in the Gluten Intolerant individual. I am biopsy diagnosed Celiac sufferer. (Sigh)
I'm sorry I missed sending you the email I promised. But if you are brave enough to share all in your blog, then why can't I tell you what I feel right here? I have been very depressed for a very long time. Winter's short days just do me in. Add to that the agoraphobia, and, well, just stick me with a fork, cause I'm done.
Some of us are just born ultra sensitive to our environment I guess; what can we do? We can share and stick together through all the hard bits, that's what!
Love you,
~L