Friday, May 17, 2013

My Cape is at the Cleaners


I've lost all super powers.
I spent 14 hours in the garden on Wednesday - didn't even finish planting.
I have no idea how that happened.
All I do know - is that I got me a good case of the heat exhaustion, and by 8pm, after being up at 3:30 in the am, I was in tears, thinking ticks were in my hair, and wondering why I ever left Chicago.

True.

This little bird is super skittish.  The others come running when they hear my voice, this one runs the other way!  I had to remedy that.  It sat with me on the couch and went through feline tolerance therapy.
Yesterday was a wash.  I could barely move.  I felt like a train hit my face.
I never dressed, I barely ate - I just laid on the couch and wished I weren't so all or nothing.
I got up a few times and my legs almost went out from an under me.
I'm not 32 years old anymore -it's becoming quite obvious.

I'm feeling better today, but I'm still delicate.
The feed store called that my 20 Freedom Ranger chicks are in.
I don't remember ordering them..ha.
They are meat birds.  Ya, I'm doing THAT again.

Tuesday my new laying hen babies will be here.
I have green bean seeds that were supposed to soak for two hours, sitting on the kitchen counter now going on forty-eight hours.
I have on no bra, and it's 10:15 am and I'm in my pajamas.
I want to make lilac jam.
I'm hotflashing and can't understand why it's so hot in this house when it's only 68 degrees outside.
I'm sitting on the enclosed front porch under a fan on full tilt.
Law.

Tomorrow is another day.
What I wish so hard for me, and all of you too, is that you'll love yourself where you are at.
I'm trying to love myself right now - in this new transition of my life - I'm feeling old - Aaron is gone - and I'm mighty perimenopausal.  My ovaries hurt all the time.  I require more rest than I used to.  If I eat junky foods, I feel miserable.  

Let's learn to be OK.  OK?  Let's learn that we are OK no matter what season of life we are in, that we are still worthy, lovable and deserve to be kind to ourselves.

Is it just me I'm talkin' to?

27 comments:

  1. Preaching to the choir, sister! :)

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  2. Hang in there, Jamie...you are NOT alone! ;)
    I thought I was going to need a Hoyer to get out of bed yesterday !

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  3. Oh, Jayme... I think I know how you feel. My kids are tired of hearing me lament "It's hard getting old...". But you know what? It is really hard. So, I am learning to slow down, don't push so hard, and, as my son says, just sit still. Trouble is, when I sit still, I fall asleep and everyone complains that I snore! Pam (Colorado)

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  4. Why do we love others as they are, but expect ourselves to be perfect? I am learning since I turned 50 to love myself, too. It's a good lesson to learn i think! Take care, Jean

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  5. Oh Jayme me too! And just for the record I've been on the porch all morning with the dogs reading blogs! Iam taking a day off! I don't even have my garden tilled! Too much rain here in this part of Indiana ! But Iam thinking of a blog get together with tiny trailers for Hoosiers ! Well just thinking about it makes me tired ! Love to ya sistah!
    Sharon

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  6. The magic word here gals is 'pace'!!!
    we have to learn to pace ourselves--yes we want to get it all done in one day--or less--but--that just can't happen--cause when we do attempt that--
    guess what--we go backwards for a couple days and can do nothing--I know--
    let me tell you--I have several illness's--and once in a while I have a day where I feel 'normal' so I fly around here at 80 miles a hour--
    but then for the next several days--I can only go 5 miles a hour--
    so we all need to learn to pace and to love ourselves for pacing--
    and in the end more will get done--
    this is my story--now if I can just stick to it!!!??????:-)
    hugs, di and miss gracie

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  7. Right there with ya sister! My body won't do what the brain is dreaming...of course the brain wants all flowers beds weeded and deadheaded, grass cut, bushes trimmed, animals fed, house clean, build arbors and gates, and paint them, read the blogs, write the blog, go to the store and that's just the morning chores....lol

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  8. I just wrote to Diane, The Blue Ridge Gal, that getting is not for sissies, lol! She agreed.

    Just the other day I was talking to my Dad on the phone and he said that he's getting tired for some reason now and that maybe he should see a doctor about it. He bowls once a week, works in his yard, takes care of the house and animals, volunteers at a hospital, golfs several times a week and works out at the gym three times a week. He's 86 years old... I think it's time he gets tired but he doesn't think so. He's so cute! I can only hope that I'm like that at his age.

    Hang in there kiddo. You should definitely be happy with yourself and all that you have accomplished and still are accomplishing even if you don't get it done in the time frame you had anticipated. And don't get upset, I'm saying this to myself and much as to you!

    Take care of yourself and before long, your cape will be ready! (Just pace yourself next time, lol!)

    Have a great weekend!

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  9. Now Jayme, you have no reason to feel old. I am 64 years old and I refuse to get old. I always say my husband will have to drag me kicking and screaming into old age 'cause I'm not going there. Everyone gets tired. I think you just work yourself too hard and are too hard on yourself. You get more done than twenty people I know. You are at a time in your life when you should just stop and smell the roses(and the chickens.) By the way, I'm the one who wrote you about my crippled chicken who I was sure was on her last legs. She was laying on her back three weeks ago with one leg sticking up in the air. Now after Epsom salt soaks, poly visol, and vitamins, she can stand and balance herself with her wing. I'm so proud of her. So put your wing out and steady yourself and keep on going. You are still a young sprout with lots of living to do.

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  10. Pacing is the key as we get older. Yesterday, I laid around all day as well...didn't even get out of my nightgown til I showered in the evening and time for another gown. Today, I'm a little more rested. Hang in there.... p a c e, p a c e.

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  11. Hmmm...seems that PACE is the word of the hour. I've been doing that for the last 9 years, but thought it was solely because of my FMS. You mean it really was needed because of my age? GLORY! I feel so much better now! I want you to know, Jaymers, that I truly understand how you feel when it comes to this obsessive desire to get everything done RIGHT NOW! My problem ~ TIRED = GROUCHY. Hubby used to always tell me, "I'd just rather you not try to do everything in one day and be pleasant when I get home from work!" I finally wised up and took his advice. I loved hearing what Quilting is Blissful, Di had to say, " I have several illness's--and once in a while I have a day where I feel 'normal' so I fly around here at 80 miles a hour--
    but then for the next several days--I can only go 5 miles a hour--
    so we all need to learn to pace and to love ourselves for pacing--
    and in the end more will get done--" I especially like the "in the end more will get done" part! xoxoxo

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  14. I find it hard to keep up a big house and a big yard at the same time. If I work outdoors-things get behind indoors. There seems to be no happy medium. And I can't seem to get it through my head that it's ok to do nothing some days. My body gets in the way of what my head seems to think I can do.
    Absolutely love your blog. My favorite by far.

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  15. me, too - i refer to it as my "new, improved body type" and do the best i can.
    I'm in -
    I'll join you on the quest - we'll both be OKAY Together -
    However we present on any given day.
    Love & Love,
    -g-

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  16. Jayme, 14 hours in the garden? I'm a puddle after 3! It's like you were listening to my inner voices having this same discussion! I feel so much better that there are folks talking outside of my head too. Thanks for this one!

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  17. So frustrating these "M" days, ugh! I agree with the "PACE" word. I can so relate to you and so many writers here. I was just saying to my husband the other day that it is so frustrating when I know what my heart and mind want to accomplish, but my body won't cooperate. To the writer "Mitzi"..I hear ya! We just have to learn how not to be so hard on ourselves. Somedays will just be better than others. Kumbaya girls, from Debra in Illinios.

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  18. It gets better, does that help . . . My new way of the world is to work hard one day, cut back the next . . . It helps me considerably . . . although I miss my days of feeling like I was a Mac Truck . . . and I could go on forever. On the bright side, I do okay for a seventy four year old!

    Treat yourself kindly for a few days . . . might be fun . . . won't help the hot flashes though!

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  19. So you are human? really??

    smile

    jan

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  20. i needed this today. thank you thank you thank you. I'm okay!! :) and you? are fantabulous.

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  21. Oh my----- thought I had fallen asleep---again?!?!---- and written a post under your name?!?!!!!!!
    Same-o same- o girlfriend !!!!!!
    62 here and must be thinking I'm 32--42--52--oh my lions and tigers and bears oh my..........
    Hang in there!!
    Rain :)

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  22. Hi Jayme.....just started subscribing to your blog, we could be kin what with we are going through, me at 52 and slugging through MENopause....i have many days when i wonder where my energy went.....my list isn't a "to do" list anymore, it's a "meant to do never got done/finished" list. I envy that you live on a little farm that i have always wanted, but I know the chickens, beautiful gardens and vegetables don't get tended without effort......i know for every pain and ache there is tremendous satisfaction in seeing what you accomplish, if it just didn't have to be so darn hard, hot and sweaty eh?!! Keep up the your sense of humor, and Ben Gay works wonders! (he's the other guy in my life)looking forward to hanging out at your blog and smiling at all the similarities!!!

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  23. Great post Jayme! I had a day like that yesterday, but this morning brought renewed energy, bright sunshine and no horrendous wind like the previous 3 days! I'm good to go (at least for a few hours!) AND a huge pot of the Pioneer Woman's Beer & Beef Stew is on the stove for dinner.

    My husband is doing all the outdoor chores today (like cleaning the girls' chicken coop), so now I'm ready to settle in for some serious knitting!

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  24. Lisa in PasadenaMay 19, 2013 at 12:23 PM

    Sorry you're not feeling 100%. It must be in the air...76 days without a period and then WHAM BAM THANK YOU MA'AM! That's what's happened to me. Plus a spring sprung through our mattress and we can't afford another one, my senior has finals this week, graduates on Saturday and leaves for college in August. Hubby still unemployed, 8th grader cranky, dry/flaky skin, frizzy hair, aches and pains and trouble sleeing. I'm going to dig in the yard today and see if I can add to my grief. Then lay in bed the rest of the day and say, "Jayme made me do it." How are you feeling today sista?

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  25. I hear ya, sister! I knew I was going to be in trouble this summer when I was walking a hiking trail in the 32 degree winter and was breaking out in a sweat!
    And stubborn weight gain? Don't get me started on that! But thank you for the comic relief that you provide, I look forward to every one of your posts. And when I read the comments, I feel like part of a neighborhood.

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  26. Jayme,....just a follow up..I don't blog...but girl you inspire me. I am trying to be more agressive with my gardening this year. Well, got to tell ya...I paced myself somewhat and spent only 8 hours in the yard today digging, edging, and being a planting fool too. I am exhausted and happy. I told my husband about you. Jayme, you accomplish what I use to in my hayday 30's 40's and til 56. Now I will turn 58 in July and I am puttering out, so I thought.....til I read your 14 hr post..Thanks for the inspire...that "M" word will not Defeat us!! Garden on. Can't wait to see your chick posts. Peace, Debra in Illinois

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